Lucy soon became like a mom to me. She watched after me, and made sure I got enough to eat (even if it was from a dumpster). I grew और anxious as the nine महीना mark came near. Only then did I think about actually delivering the baby. Lucy promised she'd help me, and that she'd try to remember how it was handled when she had her sons and daughters. The baby began kicking and shifting around a lot, and it doubled me over in pain. It happened quite frequently, and I became बिस्तर ridden. Lucy didn't want me walking the streets like this, and she insisted that I stayed in the car. She brought me खाना and water as often as she could.

But sometimes, she'd be gone for hours on end; leaving me alone with my thoughts. I began to think I'd die here on the streets. I could barely take care of myself, let alone a vulnerable infant.

"You'll be fine," Lucy assured me.

"How?" I countered. She pursed her lips.

"I don't know... but आप will. I know आप will. You're a smart, strong, ब्रेव young woman, and I know you'll be able to take care of your little kid." I sighed. The thought made me cringe. Not only was I worried I wouldn't be able to, now I didn't really want to. Lucy told me that she hadn't expected to have her सेकंड kid, and she was worried because her husband had लॉस्ट his job too. All through the nine months, she absolutely hated the child inside her; she thought her daughter would be the one to make her lose her home, and she still had her other daughter, who was only three.

"...But once I held her in my arms, all those feelings dissolved, and I loved her as much as I loved my first daughter." I nodded, and didn't protest. Maybe, if आप were married and of a और appropriate age, you'd प्यार your child. But I wasn't so sure I'd प्यार a baby that had been दिया to me from someone I hate.

When Lucy was gone, I tried to keep my mind off of the future, and tried to remember the past. I remembered the दिन Sicily introduced me to Shiloh. It had been the first दिन of sophomore year, and she had met him at her bus stop. Only a महीना later we were going out. I remembered how Shiloh and I would go on a तारीख, दिनांक every other Saturday, just the two of us. I wondered what they were doing. I sighed when I remembered I had missed Sicily's performance at the talent show. Even though it was a long time ago, I still felt terrible guilt for it. It had meant everything to Sicily. And I had missed it. I had also missed their birthdays too. My own friends.

I closed my eyes, and put my head in my hands. I wasn't ready to lose everything; everyone. Even though I already had, and there was no going back. I tried to put on a smile as Lucy returned to the car.

On May 8th, it happened.

I was laying in the car, and Lucy was sitting in the front seat. All of a sudden, something inside me changed. I felt a strange, uncomfortable wet feeling. My water broke. Lucy propped me up against the side of the car, and put a blanket on me, and pushed my legs up towards my stomach. I felt the baby हटाइए down inside me. It was excruciating. I began to cry, and Lucy got out of the car, opening the back door so she could get the baby.

"Kodi, you're gonna be ok! Just do what I tell you!" Lucy कहा hurriedly. I shook my head.

"I can't! I'm not ready!" I sobbed. Another ripping sensation.

"You need to be!" Lucy said.

To say the least, it was the most painful thing I had ever endured. It took about four hours, Lucy had told me. It felt like years. I never thought it'd end. My legs and stomach felt like jell-o afterwards; but Lucy assured me I'd be able to walk in about a day. Lucy used a sweater from my suitcase to लपेटें the baby. I heard the piercing sound of an infant crying. I closed my eyes, panting.

"Kodi," Lucy said, her voice breaking through my concentration. "Do आप want to see your baby?" I clenched my fists.

"No," I कहा through clenched teeth. The baby continued to cry. I could sense the confusion corrupting Lucy's mind. She कहा nothing though, and closed the car door, and got in the front, I assumed still holding the baby. I concentrated on blocking out the cries and wails, and I slowly drifted to sleep.

I was woken up who knows how much later from the sound of crying. I sat up. There was a piece of paper stuck between the headrest and the seat. I sighed and ripped it out.

"Kodi,

I just wanted to congratulate आप on your new baby. I know you'll be able to care for yourself and the baby. I'm sorry it's short notice, but I didn't want to intrude on your new family. I know everything'll work out for you. Good luck.

-Lucy."

Tears welled up in my eyes. The only person who I was able to look to for guidance was gone. I was left for an infant I didn't even want, and I had no idea how to care for it. The tears spilled over, and I cried. I needed Lucy. She had दिया me the sense of having a mom again, and I had thought she'd be here to help me along the way. I gritted my teeth together, and crumpled the note. I cried out in frustration, and the crying from the front सीट grew louder. I got out of the car, and opened the front door. Lucy had emptied my suitcase, and put a blanket in it. Leaving the lid open, I heard where the crying was coming from.

I had my first look at my baby boy.