(Please be advised that there's some और mature humor in this, thanks in advance.)

Toon Link. The cartoon version of one of gaming's biggest icons, and it looks like he's here to stay.

And honestly, what's not to प्यार about Toon Link? He's courteous, powerful, and is always way stronger than he PROBABLY SHOULD BE IN SMASH BROS GODDAMMI-

And is संपूर्ण, कुल मिलाकर a very memorable character.....Which brings me to the logical conclusion that he should RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

Why आप may ask?

Stop asking such silly questions. :)

So without further ado, I'm your host Killer Semenstar and let's get RIIIIIGHT into the news.

1. Like voting for anybody in 2016 is a good idea anyways.

2. His Hookshot makes porn-stars jealous with THAT kind of length. Giggity Giggity. ;D

3. Who doesn't प्यार bombs? With great हीरोस like Rico, Michael Bay, and Vinny Santorini, it's always wonderful to have access to weapons of mass destruction.

God bless America. ^__^

4. He's got a SWORD MATE! And anybody who doesn't like swords is clearly out of their mind.

5. Let's be honest here, if आप saved a princess और than आप breathed in fucking oxygen then you'd PROBABLY want a pretty damn big reward, and this is the perfect prize for Toon Link. Taking care of the entire United States of America.

It's stressful, आप say? Bullshit. If Obama can survive swimming in money, then so can Toon Link.

;)

6. What better leader can आप possibly have than a little kid in a green tunic?

7. What better leader can आप possibly have than ANYBODY who's not running for president right now in the first place?

Giggity. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

8. Really anybody that's saved the WORLD can take my virginity anyways.

And that is NOT a gay/pedophilic statement because....Uhh..........

Shit.



9. आप say fictional characters can't be president? Bullshit! Just get some creepy old guy to do a cosplay and we're all good! :D

....This is why nobody listens to me.

10. This is as high as I can count, deal with it.

So.......

G'BYE YA WORTHLESS FUCKS! ^___^

-Totally Not Biased Productions, 2016