'Exquisite Corpse' 

As much as I love an original Original sibling, I have to give credit where credit is due, and this season has been all about the Originals 2.0. First, we had Yusuf Gatewood and Daniel Sharman giving us Finn 2.0 and Kol 2.0, and tonight’s hour was all about Maisie Richardson-Sellers’ Rebekah 2.0. Actually, scratch that. Tonight was all about Richardson-Sellers, but it was much more about crazy Eva than anyone else… because nothing heightens the drama like stealing children.

When Rebekah wakes up from her nap, it’s clear that she’s no longer going to use the word “bloody” in every other sentence. In other words, Eva is in control. Within minutes, she has taken down Marcel and found her way into Hope’s nursery. Klaus manages to scratch her leg, but that’s about all that happens before Eva bolts. (Seriously, what good is having two hybrid parents if they’re only good for a scratch?)

One might ask, where was Elijah during all of this? Well, I’m really glad you did, because our Elijah Moment of the Week came early in this episode, when a shirtless Elijah continued his sexual affair with Gia. At least until he was called in for duty.

After the night’s events, Klaus is on high alert, sending Marcel to find and shackle Eva while Elijah heads to Josephine’s to see if they can extend their alliance so that the witches don’t hunt down his sister. As for Klaus? Well, once he’s done dishing out the dirty work, he takes on the even dirtier work: He shackles Freya and heads to find mommy dearest while Marcel goes to the bar to enlist the help of Vincent in finding Eva.

Meanwhile, the world’s most awkward threesome—Elijah, Hayley, and Gia—head to Josephine’s. Combined, everyone hears the same story at the same time: Eva’s plan was to sacrifice a witch from each of the nine covens in order to create a new witch order and make herself incredibly powerful. Furthermore, she chooses kids because their magic is pure… and they’re easier to catch in a footrace.

Vincent agrees to help Marcel, but Elijah doesn’t have the same luck with Josephine. Despite her love of his cadence—can you blame her?—Josephine refuses to extend the deal, thereby putting a bounty on Eva’s head. According to her, Eva’s death is work sacrificing one or two people. (Little does she know that one or two people does not a Mikaelson make.)

But after Elijah lets his anger get the best of him, Josephine reminds him that she doesn’t need him. Nope, he needs her. As she looks into Hayley’s future, she tells her, that “There’s a storm coming. Your darkest demons ride upon it.” Josephine doesn’t know it’s name—spoiler: Dahlia—but she knows that “there is a blackness that should terrify you.” Hint: All the black in this photo.

Across town, Klaus reintroduces Esther to a couple of bloodbags before reintroducing her to her daughter. He then compels his mother to tell them the truth and help them find the spell that will save Rebekah. After a quick catch-up session—yes, Esther, Hope’s still alive—Esther begins to write the spell just as Marcel discovers Eva.

The twist? Vincent chooses his ex over Marcel and breaks Eva free after he finds out that the kids aren’t dead. Instead, they’re simply asleep. Well, and cloaked with magic, but where’s the harm in that? According to Eva, she needs one more witch to finish the ritual. And just as you think she’s headed for Hope, she and Vincent capture Josephine instead.

In the tomb with her children, Esther explains that she didn’t

to kill Hope or give up Freya, but she had to. She then tries to turn the tables and warn Klaus that Freya has had Dahlia as a mentor for 1,000 years, which means she’ll only offer to help if there’s a price.

But Klaus—who considers himself a Freya upgrade, naturally—is more concerned with Freya learning Esther’s spell than listening to Esther talk. And yet, here’s where Esther could be right: Freya says she needs an anchor to perform the spell, and she proposes Klaus. Being Freya’s anchor would mean allowing Freya into his mind and divulging all his secrets. Yeah, Klaus isn’t so much a fan of that. And cue Elijah’s entrance.

Elijah offers to be the anchor—he will not lose Rebekah—and Freya agrees. Before anyone else can stall this any longer, Freya cuts all the crap, breaks her own magic-stopping shackles, and snaps Klaus’ neck. What was that about needing a powerful witch? As she puts it to Klaus, “For an upgraded model, you’re not very sharp.”

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