'Reign' recap: 'Highland Games' 

forgoes any time spent in England with Queen Elizabeth (she and Gideon needed a breather anyway) and instead gives us… a boxing montage. You cannot make this crazy up. All the talk about getting in the ring got me thinking: Wouldn’t it be great if Mary and Elizabeth could agree to just one boxing match, winner takes the English throne? Think of all the time, energy, and beheading axes they would save! Also, would they have bejeweled boxing gloves? This is very important, please discuss in the comments.

Even though we’re sticking to only two royal courts this week, there’s more than enough drama to go around. Let’s check in.

Welcome to the 500th or so Highland Games! From what I can tell, this is the time of the year when Scots get together to drink a lot and yell about how much they love Scotland… so, not much different from the rest of the year.

Mary’s excited about these games though; it’s the perfect venue to announce her engagement to Lord Darnley. She wants to ride the wave of goodwill after Darnley’s heroics — as manufactured as they may have been — during the harvest festival fire. James reminds Mary that she really doesn’t know Darnley all that well and she should be cautious. Are Mary and James the two best friends anyone could ever have or what? James even agrees to go make out with Emily Knox some more to find out if John Knox is the culprit behind the “loyal watchman” warning note Mary received telling her about Darnley and the fire. James is just always putting others first, isn’t he?

Unfortunately, when he goes to see Emily, she turns him away immediately. It is too sinful, and if he really cares about her, he’ll leave her alone. He does, and he seems genuinely sad about it. Does James have feelings for Emily? I’m not feeling this at all.

Mary’s plan isn’t going well, either. When she announces her engagement to the Scottish nobles, they’re wary of her choice of groom. Darnley’s father, Matthew Lennox, is known for one thing only: abandoning the Scots to side with King Henry VIII during a war. One noble, Lord Taylor, doesn’t think cowards deserve to sit on the Scottish throne, so he challenges Darnley to a boxing match. If Taylor wins, Darnley has to call off the engagement. If Darnley wins, Taylor and all the Scottish nobles will get on board with Mary’s pick for king consort.

Mary, speaking for all women, thinks this is very, very dumb. Darnley insists he knows how to fight but, more importantly, knows how to put on a show. It’s here that Mary confronts him about setting the fire, and he willingly admits to it. Sometimes you have to break the rules to win, he says. Only, that’s not Mary’s way — she wants an honorable fight and an honorable husband — and Mary’s in charge here. Darnley agrees to a fair fight. To keep Darnley true to his word, Mary has her fiancé train with James. Typically, I’d be all for a sweaty training montage, but no one really seems interested in being there. Plus, Darnley is pretty good and he knocks James out easily. But before Mary can think that Darnley is really willing to play fair, they run into Lord Taylor. He is not happy. He believes Darnley tried to poison him… and Mary immediately sides with Taylor. Darnley swears he didn’t do it, but what reason does Mary have to trust him?

Darnley goes to drown his sorrows at the local pub. And because there’s no one else for Darnley to have a conversation with, his mother is suddenly in Scotland, to take in the Highland Games and scold her son for falling back into his bad habits. Darnley has reasons for his drinking and fighting this time, though. The drinking is because he’s getting married to a judgmental woman to whom everything is black and white. The fighting is to win the love of the Scottish people — the only love that matters to him now. Things are BLEAK with Darnley, you guys. Even bleaker? As he’s sitting at the bar, one of Taylor’s goons comes by and smashes Darnley’s hand. So much for that fair fight.

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