1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag आप down to his level and beat आप with experience.
2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I चुरा लिया a bike and asked for forgiveness.
4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
5. Going to church doesn't make आप a Christian any और than standing in a गेराज makes आप a car.
6. We live in a society where पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा gets to your house before the police.
7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
8. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
9. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until आप hear them speak.
10. If I agreed with आप we'd both be wrong.
11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If आप see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
12. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
13. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
14. Knowledge is knowing a टमाटर is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a फल salad.
15. Children: आप spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then आप spend the अगला 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
16. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
17. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
18. Having sex is like playing bridge. If आप don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
19. The early bird might get the worm, but the सेकंड माउस gets the cheese.
20. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell आप why it isn't.
21. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
22. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
23. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
24. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
25. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
26. If आप think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
27. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
28. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
29. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
30. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but आप can't help smiling when आप see one tumble down the stairs.
31. Did आप know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
32. A bank is a place that will lend आप money, if आप can prove that आप don't need it.
33. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
34. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
35. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
36. I didn't fight my way to the चोटी, शीर्ष of the खाना chain to be a vegetarian
37. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
38. I didn't say it was your fault, I कहा I was blaming you.
39. I saw a woman wearing a sweat कमीज, शर्ट with "Guess" on it...so I कहा "Implants?"
40. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
41. Why does someone believe आप when आप say there are four billion stars, but check when आप say the paint is wet?
42. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
43. God must प्यार stupid people. He made SO many.
44. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the सड़क, स्ट्रीट with a bald head and a बीयर, बियर gut, and still think they are sexy.
45. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
46. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
47. Some people say "If आप can't beat them, शामिल होइए them". I say "If आप can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting आप to शामिल होइए them, so आप will have the element of surprise.
48. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
49. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
50. आप do not need a parachute to skydive. आप only need a parachute to skydive twice.
50 to 100 Funny Jokes:
51. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
52. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
53. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
54. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
55. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
56. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
57. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
58. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
59. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
60. A diplomat is someone who can tell आप to go to hell in such a way that आप will look आगे to the trip.
61. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
62. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if आप wish they were.
63. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
64. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
65. When in doubt, mumble.
66. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured द्वारा a great white शार्क या if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
67. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
68. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
69. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
70. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
71. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
72. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I कहा I want a सेकंड opinion. He कहा okay, you're ugly too.
73. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
74. येशु loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
75. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
76. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
77. I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
78. I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
79. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
80. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
81. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
82. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
83. When tempted to fight आग with fire, remember that the आग Department usually uses water.
84. आप are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss आप heaps and think of आप often.
85. I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, आप won't be able to get into the corners very well."
86. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
87. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
88. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
89. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever आप hit the target.
90. A bargain is something आप don't need at a price आप can't resist.
91. Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
92. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
93. If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
94. Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
95. If at first आप don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
96. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when आप are after it as when आप are in it.
97. Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
98. Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
99. If आप are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have और than one child.
100. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I चुरा लिया a bike and asked for forgiveness.
4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
5. Going to church doesn't make आप a Christian any और than standing in a गेराज makes आप a car.
6. We live in a society where पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा gets to your house before the police.
7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
8. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
9. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until आप hear them speak.
10. If I agreed with आप we'd both be wrong.
11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If आप see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
12. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
13. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
14. Knowledge is knowing a टमाटर is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a फल salad.
15. Children: आप spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then आप spend the अगला 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
16. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
17. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
18. Having sex is like playing bridge. If आप don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
19. The early bird might get the worm, but the सेकंड माउस gets the cheese.
20. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell आप why it isn't.
21. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
22. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
23. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
24. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
25. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
26. If आप think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
27. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
28. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
29. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
30. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but आप can't help smiling when आप see one tumble down the stairs.
31. Did आप know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
32. A bank is a place that will lend आप money, if आप can prove that आप don't need it.
33. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
34. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
35. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
36. I didn't fight my way to the चोटी, शीर्ष of the खाना chain to be a vegetarian
37. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
38. I didn't say it was your fault, I कहा I was blaming you.
39. I saw a woman wearing a sweat कमीज, शर्ट with "Guess" on it...so I कहा "Implants?"
40. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
41. Why does someone believe आप when आप say there are four billion stars, but check when आप say the paint is wet?
42. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
43. God must प्यार stupid people. He made SO many.
44. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the सड़क, स्ट्रीट with a bald head and a बीयर, बियर gut, and still think they are sexy.
45. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
46. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
47. Some people say "If आप can't beat them, शामिल होइए them". I say "If आप can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting आप to शामिल होइए them, so आप will have the element of surprise.
48. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
49. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
50. आप do not need a parachute to skydive. आप only need a parachute to skydive twice.
50 to 100 Funny Jokes:
51. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
52. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
53. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
54. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
55. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
56. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
57. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
58. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
59. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
60. A diplomat is someone who can tell आप to go to hell in such a way that आप will look आगे to the trip.
61. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
62. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if आप wish they were.
63. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
64. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
65. When in doubt, mumble.
66. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured द्वारा a great white शार्क या if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
67. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
68. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
69. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
70. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
71. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
72. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I कहा I want a सेकंड opinion. He कहा okay, you're ugly too.
73. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
74. येशु loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
75. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
76. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
77. I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
78. I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
79. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
80. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
81. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
82. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
83. When tempted to fight आग with fire, remember that the आग Department usually uses water.
84. आप are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss आप heaps and think of आप often.
85. I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, आप won't be able to get into the corners very well."
86. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
87. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
88. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
89. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever आप hit the target.
90. A bargain is something आप don't need at a price आप can't resist.
91. Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
92. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
93. If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
94. Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
95. If at first आप don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
96. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when आप are after it as when आप are in it.
97. Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
98. Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
99. If आप are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have और than one child.
100. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Other than horrible gaming journalists not understanding how indie games work, another thing people say is how unfair they can be. Cuphead is unfair because your character only has three hearts on them. Hotline Miami is too hard because enemies can kill आप in one hit. Slime Rancher is too hard because I can’t feed my Slimes in time. But there is a game out there that I can say with slight certainty that it can feel really unfair at times. A game so difficult that it already has me cursing before the game starts. A Bastard’s Tale.
A Bastard’s Tale follows a knight, I’m going to...
continue reading...
A Bastard’s Tale follows a knight, I’m going to...
This review is going to be… a bit harder to talk about. So I bought a game called Revolution 1979: Black Friday, a game that is based on the actual Black Friday of 1979 where thousands of protestors were shot and killed for protesting against their ruler. It was the darkest moment during the Iranian Revolution but is practically never discussed outside of the country. That is where 1979 Revolution comes to discuss matters.
1979 Revolution follows the experience of Reza Shirazi as he is interrogated for information on his involvement with the revolution and his connections to the groups...
continue reading...
1979 Revolution follows the experience of Reza Shirazi as he is interrogated for information on his involvement with the revolution and his connections to the groups...
Elijah Jones, 2019 album? and K-12?
Elijah Jones, Kinlee And Elijah Trend Long Overdue
Elijah Jones, currently in speculation about a potential 2019 album confirms to have "let go" of the Kinlee And Elijah trend. For those of आप who don't know. Kinlee And Elijah was a trend that started off in 2015 after Jones releasee his sophomore album "Utilize" The trend was based around characters in 2015. But upon suffering depression and promoting a Lindsey Stirling album in 2016, Elijah used Kinlee And Elijah as the final passing for Elijah's trilogical album "Forgive To Forget" 2017. Based after the ब्रेव Enough album he promoted in August 2016.
Currently, after relleasing the kewyord in 2018. Followers have been in सवाल on whether या not Jones will be releasing his 4th studio album rumoured to release in 2019. With little hype and little posting, we can only hope that Jones will have something releasing this year. Currently after releasing the keyword
Jones is expected to start something new, and different for his अगला "supposedly" 2019 album.
Currently, after relleasing the kewyord in 2018. Followers have been in सवाल on whether या not Jones will be releasing his 4th studio album rumoured to release in 2019. With little hype and little posting, we can only hope that Jones will have something releasing this year. Currently after releasing the keyword
Jones is expected to start something new, and different for his अगला "supposedly" 2019 album.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
SeanTheHedgehog: *Sitting at a तालिका, टेबल in front of a laptop* Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, when a movie called The Nightmare Before क्रिस्मस was released. And then twenty three years later, Overwatch was created. If आप haven't seen a combination of Overwatch with The Nightmare Before Christmas, I'd say it's time आप begin now.
Song (Start at 1:19): link
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A scare कौआ, कौवा spins around clockwise as the wind blows. We are on the Hollywood map, decked out in हैलोवीन decor.
Reapers: *Singing*...
Suppose letters looked backwards, sideways, completely out of place, or reflected, moving or different colors for you.
See captions of pictures^
