Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic इंद्रधनुष as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican टट्टू 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican टट्टू 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, चेरी bombs, या sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me आप guys have a पासवर्ड for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican टट्टू 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the सेकंड Mexican pony* Get your नितंब, गधा over here.
Mexican टट्टू 2: *Walks toward Mexican टट्टू 1*
Mexican टट्टू 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican टट्टू 1: *Pushes Mexican टट्टू 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when आप get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the शावर, शॉवर with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure आप get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the शावर, शॉवर this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me आप idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, आप wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! आप couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, या fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent आप in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet आप brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As आप all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: आप want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 साल Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't आप lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 साल Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do आप care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has आप brain washed.
16 साल Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 साल Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and आप kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 साल Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If आप don't like reality, why don't आप just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 साल Old Colt: Ugh, आप suck! *Runs 100 miles an घंटा to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got लॉस्ट at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire चोटी, शीर्ष of the पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell आप where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* आप ready? Jenny, I want आप to start लेखन this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let आप out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her कुत्ता have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick या treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, आप are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because आप dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's दीवार where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit द्वारा the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic इंद्रधनुष as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican टट्टू 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican टट्टू 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, चेरी bombs, या sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me आप guys have a पासवर्ड for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican टट्टू 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the सेकंड Mexican pony* Get your नितंब, गधा over here.
Mexican टट्टू 2: *Walks toward Mexican टट्टू 1*
Mexican टट्टू 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican टट्टू 1: *Pushes Mexican टट्टू 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when आप get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the शावर, शॉवर with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure आप get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the शावर, शॉवर this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me आप idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, आप wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! आप couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, या fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent आप in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet आप brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As आप all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: आप want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 साल Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't आप lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 साल Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do आप care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has आप brain washed.
16 साल Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 साल Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and आप kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 साल Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If आप don't like reality, why don't आप just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 साल Old Colt: Ugh, आप suck! *Runs 100 miles an घंटा to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got लॉस्ट at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire चोटी, शीर्ष of the पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell आप where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* आप ready? Jenny, I want आप to start लेखन this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let आप out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her कुत्ता have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick या treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, आप are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because आप dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's दीवार where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit द्वारा the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Anti-tank gun
The other changelings responded द्वारा signaling to the tank drivers to आग at Green Flame. all this noise caused Pin Tail to wake up and get the 2 troops up. They came to Flame's assistance while carrying their anti-tank artillery gun and set it into position. After a few rounds of their तोप the tanks & changelings in them were all destroyed in only a few minutes. "Was that the enemy?" Green Flame asked Pin Tail. "Not anymore" Tail smiled as he told his friend.
बनाया गया, एपलजैक, मौजमस्ती as Rorshach,
Fluttershy as Nite owl II,
Pinkie Pie as The Comedian,
Twilight Sparkle as Dr.Manhattan,
इंद्रधनुष dash as Ozymandias, and
Rarity as Silk Spectre II.
Excerpt from chapter one:
Rorshach: Dog carcass in an alley way this morning, hoove track on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me, I have seen it`s true face. The streets are extended gutters, and the drains are full of blood and when the gutters finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up around their waists, and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!!!" and I`ll whisper "neigh"
filly rarity: हे u can't do that!!!
Discord: i just did!
Discord: fluttershy i know u will be crying after this!!
Fluttershy: i no i won't u big dumb MEANIE!!!!!!
Discord: oopsie (makes fluttershy be a filly)
filly fluttershy: Hey!!!! (crys)
Discord: इंद्रधनुष dash u have 2 choices 1 i make u be a filly. 2 i kill u what will it be?
Rainbow: none!!!
Discord: oh well i picked for u! (makes इंद्रधनुष a filly)
filly dash: हे u can't do that! (kicks Discord)
Discord: (kicks इंद्रधनुष back)
Discord: Now that i got u all u have a timer for how long u have to be a filly forever!!!!!!!!!
to be continued.................
Master Sword is still driving the police car, Saten is now in the passinager seat.
Saten: I still can't believe आप pulled this off dude.. And now your even speeding.
Master Sword: Yeah wel-
Radio: Car 53, we're आप heading in such a hurry?
Master Sword: zoh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.
Radio: There's a bank robbery!?
Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).
Saten: Dude, we're are आप going!?
Master Sword: Didn't आप hear! Theirs a bank robbery!
Saten: What!? No theirs not-
Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-
SOON AFTER:
Suddenly the car Master Sword burst into the कहा bank.
TO BE CONTINUED
Saten: I still can't believe आप pulled this off dude.. And now your even speeding.
Master Sword: Yeah wel-
Radio: Car 53, we're आप heading in such a hurry?
Master Sword: zoh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.
Radio: There's a bank robbery!?
Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).
Saten: Dude, we're are आप going!?
Master Sword: Didn't आप hear! Theirs a bank robbery!
Saten: What!? No theirs not-
Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-
SOON AFTER:
Suddenly the car Master Sword burst into the कहा bank.
TO BE CONTINUED
COURTROOM:
Judge: Alright do to 29 secret वोट्स from Shining Armor. Thank आप Shining Armor.. Mrs Pie has been sentenced to the DEATH PENALTY. (pounds hammer).
Pinkie: (completely horrified and her mouth wide open).
Shining Armor: (sadistically) See, it's outta my hands.
LATER:
Pinkamena: (being strapped to an electric chair).
Ditto: Okay Pinkamena.. For 218 accounts of murder... And other crimes that seem minor compared to 218 accounts of murder., electricity will be passed though your body until dead... Any last words?
Pinkamena: I, I know येशु has forgiven me..
Ditto: ... Your joking right?
Pinkamena: (sniffs tearfully) No!
Ditto: (pulls the switch).
However, everyone forgot to wet sponge and Pinkamena dies an unnaturally painful and grousome death, to the point her head literary explodes.
Ditto: ... I suddenly want BBQ, dose anybody else BBQ?
THE END
Judge: Alright do to 29 secret वोट्स from Shining Armor. Thank आप Shining Armor.. Mrs Pie has been sentenced to the DEATH PENALTY. (pounds hammer).
Pinkie: (completely horrified and her mouth wide open).
Shining Armor: (sadistically) See, it's outta my hands.
LATER:
Pinkamena: (being strapped to an electric chair).
Ditto: Okay Pinkamena.. For 218 accounts of murder... And other crimes that seem minor compared to 218 accounts of murder., electricity will be passed though your body until dead... Any last words?
Pinkamena: I, I know येशु has forgiven me..
Ditto: ... Your joking right?
Pinkamena: (sniffs tearfully) No!
Ditto: (pulls the switch).
However, everyone forgot to wet sponge and Pinkamena dies an unnaturally painful and grousome death, to the point her head literary explodes.
Ditto: ... I suddenly want BBQ, dose anybody else BBQ?
THE END
