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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Princess Celestia

Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic इंद्रधनुष as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny

Derpy entered Celestia's office.

Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-

A 50 weight fell on her head.

Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*

Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.

Mexican टट्टू 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican टट्टू 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, चेरी bombs, या sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me आप guys have a पासवर्ड for "certain" firecrackers.

Certain is the password.

Mexican टट्टू 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the सेकंड Mexican pony* Get your नितंब, गधा over here.
Mexican टट्टू 2: *Walks toward Mexican टट्टू 1*
Mexican टट्टू 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican टट्टू 1: *Pushes Mexican टट्टू 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when आप get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*

Back at the castle.

Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the शावर, शॉवर with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure आप get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*

The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.

Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*

Later.

Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the शावर, शॉवर this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me आप idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, आप wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! आप couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, या fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.

Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.

Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent आप in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!

Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.

Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet आप brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As आप all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: आप want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.

Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.

Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 साल Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't आप lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 साल Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do आप care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has आप brain washed.
16 साल Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 साल Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and आप kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 साल Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If आप don't like reality, why don't आप just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 साल Old Colt: Ugh, आप suck! *Runs 100 miles an घंटा to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*

Back at Celestia's castle.

Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got लॉस्ट at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*

Later, Skeletor was ordering a पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा with Jenny.

Skeletor: I want the entire चोटी, शीर्ष of the पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell आप where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* आप ready? Jenny, I want आप to start लेखन this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let आप out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her कुत्ता have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick या treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*

In Celestia's rant room.

Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?

Everyone stayed silent.

At dinner.

Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.

After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.

Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*

Back at her office.

Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!

In Ponyville.

Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, आप are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because आप dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*

The bullets went through Celestia's दीवार where the other portal was placed.

Celestia: *Getting hit द्वारा the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*

Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Dan : but... but... but... JADE!
Jade : hell yea...
Shadow : wait a second... but... आप was in Africa
Jade : I heard that guys kicking your नितंब, गधा soo...
Shadow : oh well...
Dan : but... how... where... WHAAAT!
Jade : no time to lose lets GO!
Yes its her, best double agent in the world, If she wants to kick our corp. asses... she gonna DO IT... but she with us now...
Dan : आप right!
Everypony start running to the small hallway and they jump into truck
Jade : GO GO GO!
Driver : *move truck*
The truck goes to the city then to the black alley
Dan : Jade... where w-
Jade : *put gun to Dan Head* shut up! now...
continue reading...
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
What is friendship all about?
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
Friendship is magic!
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until आप all shared it's magic with me!
When I was young I was too busy to make any friends, some silliness did not seem worth the effort it expands,
but my little ponies. आप opened up my eyes,
and now the truth's crystal clear, as splendid as summer skies,
and it's such a wonderful surprise,
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until आप all shared it's magic with me!
When danger...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen द्वारा Braeburn
Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen by Braeburn
Braeburn was out of the tournament, and was very angry.

Sergi: *parks car*
Braeburn: *walks toward Sergi's car*
Apyr: We got company
Braeburn: *carrying baseball bat*
Sergi: Well, we're outta here *floors it*
Braeburn: Oh no आप don't!! *runs to car* Give me your car!!
Sunset Shimmer: No, get lost!
Braeburn: *hits Sunset Shimmer with bat*
Sunset Shimmer: *Knocked Out*
Braeburn: *steals car*

Sergi was driving toward the highway out of Canterlot

Braeburn: *gets behind Sergi*
Apyr: Are आप kidding me?
Sergi: What's the matter?
Apyr: Braeburn is following us!
Braeburn: GET BACK HERE!!
Police: *sees car chase*...
continue reading...
posted by NeonInfernoLord
Funny how a town filled with so much joy could befall to such a deadly game…

It was total darkness in…wherever she was. Her eyes adjusted somewhat to it but as far as she knew she was in a hole. She tried to हटाइए but she realized her entire lower body was encased inside of something. It was so snug until the point that she couldn't even feel her lower body.

"H-hello!? Rarity!? Scootaloo!?" Sweetie Belle screamed out but couldn't make anything out in the vacant abyss. She let out little whimpers as another voice rang from her side.

"S-sweetie Belle, I'm right here!" The voice of Scootaloo rang...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh आप from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this टट्टू
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are आप doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did आप do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: आप sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony:...
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Hello. I have been hearing from a lot of bronies that Princess Celestia is a troll. There are a lot of reasons to mark that, so I will दिखाना आप them.

Reason one: In The Ticket Master, she gave Twilight Sparkle only two tickets when she already knew that she has 5 friends. Twilight Sparkle was stressing out for nothing in the end.

Reason two: When Twilight Sparkle was talking to Princess Celestia about when she banished Luna to the moon, Celestia tried to change the subject, saying, ''Go make some friends!''. This redirected her attention.

Reason three: In the episode Bird In A Hoof, Mrs. Cake...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.

Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: आप see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do आप think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, आप there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a रिपोर्ट of a टट्टू trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria...
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*This story shall be divided into two parts, both of them bearing a similar aspect to the सेकंड story of सिंडरेला II: Dreams Come True. I hope that आप will all enjoy this. I apologize for it being too long.*

It was a great sunny दिन in Ponyville. Everyone was doing their usual business, whether it be doing work, talking to others, या just relaxing their दिन away. As we get to the schoolhouse, we see the little colts and fillies come running out of the door. But why? Because school was out for the summer! Everyone there was very happy to leave so they could hang out with each other और often....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
In case आप are wondering, ani is korean for no.

Three old blind stallions were walking alongside a सड़क, स्ट्रीट to a club. They were all walking with canes making sure they weren't going to hit anything. They kept walking until they saw a टट्टू get in a red sports car. Yes, the stallions were old, but they weren't blind. As the टट्टू was getting in his sports car the stallions shot him. Then they got in a old hearse, and drove away. "One agent down two to go." the driver said. "Who are we killing next?" the नारंगी, ऑरेंज stallion asked. "Our अगला target is a yellow Alicorn that lives right here." The driver...
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Stormy: That's enough Discord!!
Discord: nothing is enough for me!
Score: (picks up Nikki and takes her behind some bushes) I'm so sorry Nikki, *sniff* hang on there! (Goes back to fight)
Stormy: Your never gonna get away with this!
Discord: I already got away with this! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Score: Well? What are आप waiting for? Stab me if आप can.
Discord: Very Well, (picks up Score) ready?
Score: Rea-
Stormy: WAIT!!!!
Score: Stormy?! What are आप doing?!?
Stormy: Listen Discord, आप are-
Discord: So powerful? So Handsome? So evil?
Stormy: uhhh..no
Discord: Then what am I?
Score: Don't listen to her! Stab me!...
continue reading...
posted by savana89
"rain bow dash!!!"
"hu pinky? what is it?"
"your sister is back"
"WHAT BUT HOW!!!!"
"i dont know shes coming-(passes out on grond)
"hello dashy my little sister WHO PUT A CURS ON ME AND BAND ME WITH YOUR फ्रेंड्स but i forgive आप now"
"uh.....i missed you?"
"aw i missed आप to do आप need any help dashy"
"ya can आप um(looks aroud) can आप clear all the clouds for me?"
"oh yes dashy(flys away)"
"i need to tell that egg head"
LATER
"SPIKE,take a leter"
"ok"
"D-"
"ill do it"
"ok"
"dear princesses, my sister is back आप must come save us befor it happens from rain bow"
"hmm that was sort"
"whatever"
"oh dear sister whats going on ARE आप SENDING A LETTER TO THE PRINESSES!!!"
"no no not at all(spikes sends the leter) its a letter to my... docter"
"ok dashy ill be back!"
Back with the story......

Pixel: So what u- Ow!
Score: What happen?
Pixel: A stupid TW scratched me...
Score: *gasp* Are आप okay?
Pixel: Yea....but it's bleeding..
Score: Don't worry, I know somepony who can help
Pixel: Really? Who?
Score: AZURA!!!
Azura: yes?
Score: Do आप have any bandages?
Azura: yes, I do. Do आप need some?
Score: Yep

After Azura put some bandages on Pixel, Score explained everything that was happening, and asked him if he wanted to join, he कहा he was. Later, Score introduced her फ्रेंड्स to Pixel.

Brawny: Welcome to the herd brother
Pixel: *laughs*
Stormy: okay, now what?
Cotton Swirls:...
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Greetings, fellow Bronies, it's me again, लेखन another piece of my thoughts. Today, it's going to be about the stuff made द्वारा Hasbro.

That's right! I'm going to tell about the toys! Now, don't get me wrong, I understand why they made them. This दिखाना was targetted to little children, so it was obvious that there were going to be toys based of that. But, that's what it means for me.

I'm not going to condem you, Bronies who have toys of the Mane Six and others, but I'm going to talk about my opinion about it.

For me, it's a little akward to see grown men playing with 5 Centimeter long bright colored...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by karinabrony
Source: Equestria Daily
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, tumblr, deviantart
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Stylo From Jimmythedragon

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 23

All For None, and None For All

May 10, 1953

It was a beautiful दिन in Cheyenne. Orion was waiting to drive a train, when Pete arrived.

Orion: Good morning sir.
Pete: Orion, I decided to change your job.
Orion: Oh no. What have आप done?
Pete: You're...
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Spike:Oh,man!I don't want to live anymore without my beautiful Harmony!
Peter:Well,I told आप that आप should......
Spike:Oh,why the सूखी घास, घास don't आप stop talking?Shut up,Greg!
Peter:Actually,my name is Peter.
Spike:I don't care.Give me more.
Peter:There isn't ''more''.You drink 1000 bottles.
Spike:Ugh,then I will go to the Casino!
Peter:I will not let you.
Spike:I will remember to get आप a mice hole,for आप to hide,before I kill you.
Peter:Uh,go on,sir.I know the best casino in town...
Spike:Now that's better!
Peter:That way,sir...
Spike:Thanks.Now,bye!
Peter:*puts hoof in head*

Meanwhile at Rarity....
Rarity:Uh,Harmony...
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Spike:Peter,another drink.
Peter:My friend,you had enough for today!
Spike:Hey,you want my money,you don"t care about me!
Peter:I care about you.We have 20 years that know each other.Now,if आप want,I can give आप a job and..
Spike:No,I want more..More and more...
Jordan:Hey,we are men,and we are going to drink.I will give this man a drink.
Spike:Thanks man!
Jordan:No problem!I get what आप are passing!Do आप have children and a wife?
Spike:*sigh*Not anymore.
Jordan:Better!Now don"t worry.Drink as much as आप want.
Spike:Nah,I got to go!
Jordan:Then,see ya!
Spike:*enters in a casino*
Worker:We're closed!You...
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