Damon & Bonnie Article: The Remedy to the Delena/Bamon hate wars!

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The Remedy to the Delena/Bamon hate wars!

posted by BB8fan

Oh! A little Respect!

“Bamonators” is the name declared to signify the group of Bamon fans, प्रशंसकों of the possible pairing of Bonnie and Damon of “The Vampire Diaries.”

“DEers” is the name declared to signify the group of Delena fans, प्रशंसकों of the possible pairing of Damon and Elena, also of this लोकप्रिय series we all love.

But really they're just ships, just names! द्वारा any other name would smell as sweet! या maybe as bitter...Because we've made wars out of these ships. We've made horrendous, offensive, hurtful, wars out of these sweet and beautiful pairings, and for what?! Cause we don't see eye to eye? So what!!

You're प्रिय color could be blue, and mine red, but you'll never convince me blue is better! And I'll never convince आप red is better! But I can admit that blue is a cool color as well...or AT LEAST respect your opinion! आप may say “Twilight” is better, and I say “Harry Potter” rules! But we're never gonna agree on the subject! And it definitely won't better with arguing! We've got to respect our differences!

It really is such a frivolous thing when आप think about it! Delena या Bamon! Stelena या Delena! Forwood या Catt!! Shipping wars PERIOD really are childish and frivolous! And they don't stem from passion for a pairing! They DON'T stem from the प्यार of ones ship!! Believe it या not, shipping wars rage out of control because of a lack of respect! When it all boils down to it, our issue is RESPECT.

Someone calls Delena immoral and wrong. Someone calls Bamonators sick and delusional. And people are DISRESPECTED!! A line is crossed, and people's feelings and emotions are taken for granted, and it all goes down पहाड़ी, हिल from there!! We take offense and we snap! We aim to hurt like we've been hurt, and it only feeds to the vicious cycle started long before we even heard of “TVD!”

It's vicious and it's hateful, and it's GOT to stop!! But it's up to us. It's up to us to do it. No one else can. It's up to us. And it starts with respect.

We've got to stop creating these hateful picks for one another! In fact, just stop creating picks about one another! The Bamon spot should look like the BAMON spot! And the Delena spot should like like DELENA! We've got to stop the picks, the articles, the दीवार posts! We've just got to stop!!!

Stop thinking of the other as monsters, as inhumane MONSTER!! Stop seeing them as the evil enemy! And if आप can't stop that, then remember what Benjamin Franklin said! “The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.” The best आप can give your enemy is forgiveness, and to your opponent, tolerance.

“Tolerance implies a respect for another person, not because he is wrong या even because he is right, but because he is human.”

It's a humane thing. We've got to tolerate. We've got to respect.

We've got to forgive! Stop holding all of the Bamonators accountable for ONE Bamon fan's actions! Stop holding the Delena प्रशंसकों accountable for a couple of Delena fan's wrong-doings! Forgive and forget!! We've got to! Not only for the other, but for ourselves!! We've ALL got to forgive! Forgive and RESPECT!

We're not so different!! We're all just passionate people who प्यार “The Vampire Diaries!” We just so happen to be passionate about different pairings! We may never understand या never agree, but we CAN respect!! We CAN!! And from there, the sky's the limit! “When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences, then प्यार has a chance to blossom.” - John Gray.

So if आप feel the NEED to टिप्पणी दे on Nian, do it in a respectful way. If आप want to say something about Katerina Graham, do so in a respectful way! या don't speak at all!! Try not to mention Delena on the Bamon spot, and vice versa for Bamon on the Delena spot! Just agree to disagree and respect one another! We're really ALL just human beings, and we just want to be respected! If आप have nothing nice to say about the other pairing, don't say anything! It's not worth it! And you're not speaking for the right reasons anyhow! You're speaking out of hatred, and it's got to stop!

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far और difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” - Benjamin Franklin

Stop commenting under every single pick! It's not called for and it's not worth it! People aren't going to change their minds on the way they feel, so it's a waste of time! It does nothing but bad! So we've really just got to stop!

Be slow to speak and QUICK to LISTEN!! If it's going to anger you, don't indulge in it!! Don't go looking for anger! We've got to stop visiting each other's spots, LOOKING for things to get angry about!! WHY ELSE ARE WE THERE?! We've got to ask ourselves.

Just respect. Please respect. I would be the happiest person in the WORLD if this were to happen. And I know I'm not alone in this. Everyone's फैन्पॉप experience would be so much और enjoyable if they weren't worrying about what the other was saying. STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THE OTHER IS SAYING!!! Enjoy your spot!! Stay on your spot!! For now. There will come a time when things won't be so tense between us, when we will TRULY be able to respect one another and dwell together peacefully.

But until then! Please try your best to respect one another! No और fighting please!! We want peace SO badly and it really CAN happen!! But we need EVERYBODY'S help!! If a Bamonator says something आप find offensive, please don't handle it yourself. NOTHING gets done that way. Please tell ME या one of your other Bamonator friends! And if a Delena प्रशंसक says something आप find offensive, also please tell me (or any Delena friend आप may have) and I'll relay it to one of my Delena friends! We've got to stop these pointless arguments, and these hateful words and comments!

I can just imagine how Nina, Ian, and Kat shake their heads upon us all. We're not doing ANY of them proud. We're not doing “The Vampire Diaries” proud!! We're shaming them when we do this! Think of that अगला time you're tempted to say something hateful and disrespectful. Kat would be so disappointed if she knew we were bashing Nian. And Nian would detest us bashing their friend Kat.

They don't want us arguing over them. They don't want our fights. They want our support! But not like this. So let's give them what they want. Support in a peaceful manner. आप can do it! I know आप can. We're SO much stronger than we think we are! But we've got to do it TOGETHER!! Correct your फ्रेंड्स when they step out of line, and when any new-comers start to bantering about the DEers/Bamonators, tell them, “No! We don't do that on this spot! We get along!!” प्यार and RESPECT one another! It's the only way we'll have peace.

(I apologize for any and all errors! Please ignore them and see into the deeper meaning of this article.) Thanks SO much for reading. Truly.

sdalove, pattykirsche and 6 others like this

D_J267 I totally agree with everything you said, as someone who likes both couples it's very difficult to hear the negative and hateful comments that are occasionally made because I can see both sides. The fact is a lot of fans on both sides are respectful of the other ship, but as in everything there are those that can't or won't be. I think the only way this ship war will end is if one side makes the decision to take the high road and not respond to the hate, because if you don't respond people will usually give up. Great article.

BB8fan Wow you read FAST, D_J!!! lOL. And thanks SOOO much!!! I LOVE the fact that there are people who love BOTH Delena and Bamon!! That is just so INCREDIBLE to me!! So big ups for being one of those wonderful people!! And thanks SO much for reading!! You're ABSOLUTELY right!! People have to start taking the high road!! They have to STOP responding!! It's doing NO good!! And like you said, it'll eventually stop after that! A person can't argue by themselves! ;)

Maximumridefan Totally agree with the article. :) I really hope things do get better in regards to the DB and DE wars. Though I can't really count on it these days :/

beepo123 Fantastic article, you are completely right about all of this! I don't like when people blame an entire fan base for the actions of a few bad seeds. You can't say you hate all the delena/bamon fans, because have you met every single delena or bamon fan? No. So I'm glad that you addressed that :)

BB8fan Thanks for the comment Maxi! And thanks SO much for reading!! I know sometimes it seems like peace is just something we'll fantasize and dream about, but we've got to keep hope alive!! Without hope we have NOTHING!!! So don't give up my friend!! It won't come right away! And it's gonna be hard! But it's possible!! And nothing worth having comes easy anyways, right?! ;) Keep the faith, my friend!

BB8fan Thank you SO much, beepo!!! I'm so glad YOU just pointed that out!! It's one of the BIGGEST mistakes we Bamonators and DEers make!!! We jump to conclusions!! We assume!! We form the opinions and decisons of one another and they are WRONG!!! We're ALL just human beings!!! We aren't hateful monsters!! Just human beings, passionate shippers!! We're SO much alike it's ridiculous!! We both have our bad seeds!! But we both have INCREDIBLY nice, good-hearted, people as well!! We're both families! Two families that don't see eye to eye! But we can find common ground! We can be respectful, because we all want that! We're all good people, some deep down. Lol. But we're all good!

ApplePie88 Amazing article, Ani! :) And I strongly and inherently agree with everything you said, but at the same time, I'm very pessimistic (shocking, isn't it!) about future peace between the two fan bases (DB & DE), because Delena fans aren't just bashing DB, they are also incessantly bashing SE. I saw the poll on EW where we are to vote for Stelena to win and some of the comments against SE are absolutely atrocious. And what does that do? it causes the Stelena supporters to want to react. I mean, that's only normal right? I guess the same could be said about DB and DE supporters as well. But some DE supporters are starting the issue in the first place, especially in regards to the shipper wars of SE, DB and DE. The reason for this is because they are the "majority" within the TVD fandom, therefore, their voices are heard the loudest. And as a result, the supporters of DB and SE are seen as quiet and not as outspoken, like we don't have the strength to stand up and defend our pairings. The same could be said for DB and SE supporters, but I see a lot of Delena supporters simply bullying, antagonizing Stelena/Bamon shippers; I've seen so much of it everywhere and this is where my strong dislike for the Delena fan base came from. Before, I used to dislike just the ship (Delena), but as time went by, I found myself also disliking the Delena fan base, because of the way they mistreat so many SE/DB supporters. And not only that, they incessantly bash the couples of SE and DB. And then they expect respect from them? It just doesn't make sense. Some of the things that they say about both the couples of SE and DB and their supporters have been downright terrible. I know I'm no saint when it comes to talking about the Delena fan base and Delena (I'm known to speak my mind and I'm too blunt and outspoken sometimes) but I'm actually really responding to all of the hate that Stelena, Bamon, Bonnie and Stefan gets. Because I feel like I have to, because of all of the unnecessary hate that they get within this fandom. And I admit, I am extremely passionate about defending Stelena, Bamon, Bonnie and Stefan. Because they need all the support they can get within this fandom as much as possible. IDK, I want peace, but for some reason, sadly, a part of me feels like the feud between the SE, DB, and DE fan bases will never go away. :|

BB8fan It's definitely gonna be hard, ApplePie!! But don't you see, it's a viscious CYCLE!!! Who's to SAY who started it, but the buton has been passing from hand to hand in this horrendous relay race we've started!! They start one fight, we start the other!!! NO ONE'S innocent!!! Absolutely NO ONE, and I've come to see this over time!! And SO many Delena fans feel JUST the way you do, girl!! They've been done wrong and disrespected by Bamon/Stelena fans to the point where they don't like our fanbase!! THEY feel victimized, and they actually feel ganged up on by the Stelena and Bamon fanbases!! Believe it or not! We're all just wrong!! We're wrong!! And we've done wrong!! So now it's time to forgive!!! FORGIVE and forget!!! And RESPECT!!! It's gonna be hard. It's gonna be REALLY hard for some people!! But we can DO it!!! But it starts with forgiveness, and then RESPECT actually!!! So please, Noelle. I know it's gonna be hard, but could you try! And maybe over time you WILL be able to forgive. And we can stop these harsh comments and hateful fights! Because they hurt BOTH parties. SO much.

ApplePie88 I know that it's not gonna be easy. Because honestly, some of the Delena supporters make it SO incredibly hard for me to like them or respect them, Ani. I think it's their attitude as a GROUP, as a FANBASE that bothers me more then anything. I know there are some decent Delena supporters out there within the group, but I'm having a hard time finding them. A lot of them (from what I have seen over the internet) are very entitled, selfish, spoiled and they think that they own TVD. I think that's what bothers me is that they try to speak over everyone else who's not a Delena supporter. And I've even seen some (note: some) DE supporters proclaim that those who don't ship or support Delena are not TRUE TVD fans. Well, what are TRUE TVD fans? Because we don't ship Delena, the so-called majority, popular ship, then we aren't real, true TVD fans because of it? Also, the things that they say about Katerina Graham, Paul Wesley are just terrible, like beyond atrocious. The comments go beyond mild dislike. And this is going way back to the beginning of the show. I've seen Delena supporters sending endless hate tweets to Katerina for no reason simply because she said something Pro-Bamon or said something good about Ian. It's sad. I don't see a bunch of Stelena and Bamon shippers tweeting Nina and Ian about how they suck so bad, because they portray Delena. So why are Delena shippers sending hateful tweets to Kat Graham if she says something positive about Bamon. That's going too far. I would NEVER send hate tweets to Ian, Nina, Paul or anyone DIRECTLY, telling them that they suck, or that they should die, because they made a comment that I don't agree with. IDK, it's really hard Ani. I'm stubborn as well, so it doesn't help either, unfortunately. I've been trying to find a decent DE friend online since I started watching the show, but I can honestly say that for as long as I have been posting about this show and about SE/DB, I haven't come across a friendly Delena supporter. I've only been harassed and bullied by them, as well as some of my other SE/DB friends. And this was BEFORE I ever had the guts to stand up to any of them, the way that I do right now. Because before, I used to be one of the timid, quiet ones. I used to be so afraid to defend myself and my pairings of SE/DB to the hounds of DE fans. I used to post on The Vampire Diaries FB page about SE/DB, I got bullied. And it didn't stop there. Twitter, the CW forum, TVD.Net forum, various message boards, forums and blogs. It was endless. No matter where I went to support and defend my couples of Stelena and Bamon, I received hate mail and even worse, death threats. I was cyber harassed by many Delena supporters in the past and I survived it. I thought that I would give up completely on TVD because of it. But I didn't. Instead, I decided to be tough, strong and brave and stand and defend myself and my ships against them. I knew that was the only way that I was going to be able to last being a part of this TVD fandom. So, it's been really tough, Ani. Being a part of the TVD fandom, it hasn't been all rainbows for me personally. And I know there's many other SE/DB supporters who have also endured the same experience. It sucks, but because of all of the bashing, hate going back and forth on both sides, peace seems like reaching for something that's just too sky-high.

aceg Wow Ani this is a really a surprising gift given to us after from you. Your article deliever the first blow to the eternal existence of hatred between this two spot and shippers of the couples. Full of Devoutness!!!! I LOVE IT GIRL :D When it come down to the DE/DB hate, has anyone of both sides really free their minds from heavy impact of subjective factors, and examine their conscience, and came up with righteous verdict on the parts they took in fuelling the animosity before? Is it due to the facts they are so wrapped up in a cage that they could hardly be open minded because they are busy picking holes in each other's opinons? These are the questions deserve serious contemplation I guess that's just my thought anyway... So thank you Ani for your bravy to stand up for your beliefs and determination. Thank you for insightful analysis :)

BB8fan Wow, Noelle. That is just...I don't even know the word for it, but it inspired me. And I'm sure it'll inspire many others. Gosh you just have SUCH a story to tell, and it NEEDS to be told so badly!! People need to know what you've went through, because I KNOW you are not the only Bamonator who's gone through it! And it shows people why you might be as harsh as you tend to be today. And what's more, not only can Bamonators relate, but DELENA fans can relate as well!! Gosh if only they KNEW the reasons why you are the way you are today!!! SOOO many of them are the same!! They were victimized! I know we don't see the bad egg Stelena/Bamon fans, but they're out there!!! They're out there for EVERY ship!! And Delena fans have been terrorized by them, or perhaps by some fan from a fanbase from another show ENTIRELY, but either way, some of them have gone through the SAME thing!! They've been harrassed and bullied and it's made them tough, sometimes quick to take offense, and without meaning to be, hostile. Some of the Delena fans may look upon you, my good friend, and see you of all people, as a cyber bully. Gosh it's a horrendous cycle!! In trying to grow stronger from those who terrorized you, you unknowingly become them. DON'T turn into them, Noelle!!! You're SO much better than that!!! I've seen your soft spot, and I've glimpsed who you used to be!! Don't let the cyber bullies have warped you into this shell!! You can forgive, and if you can forgive, those other Delena fans who've been done SO wrong can as well!! You can forgive, and you can have respect, and maybe even LOVE for one another!!! I've met QUITE a bit of cool Delena fans, throughout this search for peace, and trust me when I say, they're JUST LIKE US!! They're a family! They love their ship! They feel victimized! They want peace!! We're SO much alike, and we can identify with one another! We can share our stories, and relate, because NO ONE should have to go through that, Noelle! No one! You are SO strong. So strong that I KNOW you can forgive over time!! You can forgive these people, and know that though peace seems IMPOSSIBLE, we HAVE to strive for it!!! We HAVE to at least TRY!!! If we take the first step, who KNOWS how many people will take the second!!

BB8fan Ace, you are HILARIOUS!! "This surprise GIFT??" That made me laugh out loud! You're incredible! Glad you appreciated this. So glad it came out right. But yeah, we just ALL need to take a closer look at ourselves and really THINK about the way we think about the Delena fans! Think about the way we talk about them, and any words we may have said to them! And the same goes for the Delena fans with us! If we truly do this, we'll realize that we've done wrong! We'll realize that our fanbase has done wrong! And that there are truly NO innocent parties!! It's truly a VICIOUS cycle that keeps repeating, and will CONTINUE to do so unless we put a stop to it! Stop the hate, the disrespect! Forgive one another, foget the past, and respect our differences. Diversity is beautiful. It's not something to be frowned upon. :)

jasamfan09 i love your article. i like what you say about respecting each other. i think that lot of fanbases need to respect other opinion and views you don't have agree with them but you can respect their individuality.in this world we live in everyone see thing different, feel thing differently you can hurt someone feeling without mean to.i do believe that ever one should stay on their spot. about nian i don't care about this real life couple so i donot waste my time talking about them because their not important to me.i do care about people making death threat to kat on twitter or any actress or actor because that very insane and crazy to send death threat to people you don't know. i hope that someone will report these people sending death threat to kat. kelly monaco of G.H. mother was sent a death threat over twitter she report as a crime.i know every fanbases have some BSC(batshit crazys) out there but we don't have be one of them.

nansoula @aceg that article was a lovely cupcake for the spot right? :P @Ani thanks girl for posting that. It is obvious that I agree with every single word you said. Ship wars are stupid wars. I don't understand them. They have no meaning at all. I wish all the hot blooded shippers who will read this article will finally understand that arguing over fictional characters isn't gonna give them anything in exchange in their real life. Well actually it will give them extra things to worry and stress about, while the real life problems also exist. It's exactly what you said. People can have different opinions and should be able to express them freely. Arguing about ships is childish. Well in this point we have to have in mind that a big percentage of shippers are children and that partially explains why there are those wars. Being respectful to one another must be a moral we all have learned from our families. Just because we can be anonymous on the internet doesn't mean we have to forget that. Also I would like to reffer to another similar topic. The wall issue. I have heard so many things, like there shouldn't be any rant that we should keep it peacefull etc. I totally agree. The only think is, If you have noticed when there is something a bit anti-something always some troll will come up and what has the size of a pin it will make it look like an elephant. For this issue, not having so much rant it will be good. But then comes another issue: For example one day I might be extremly mad at Damon (lol) and I want to say he's an ass in the wall wich is nor bad nor bashing it's a thought, by having that rule members lose some of their right to say their opinion ,well you re gonna say that we can do it in the rant forums.That's not my point. What I want to say is that this balance where we could say something "bad" for damon (for example) in the wall is lost, because one day the wall was filled with negative thoughts that made the spot a little chaotic place :p. Just because you might say something about Bonnie that isn't good doesn't mean that you don't love her.Hmm what else oh yes bamon hugs and respect for all the shippers don't forget Η ελευθερία του ενός σταματάει εκεί που αρχίζει η ελευθερία του άλλου!

BB8fan Thank you, Jasamfan!! We DON'T!! We can be in the fanbase, but we don't have to be OF the fanbase!! No monkey see, monkey do over here, please!! We see the mistakes others have made, the mistakes WE'VE made!! Now is a time to correct them!! To STOP repeating the cycle!! IGNORE the rudeness, FORGIVE those who've done you wrong, and learn to RESPECT one another!! Love your neighbor as you would love yourself!! We're ALL just TVD fans! And what's more, we're all just HUMAN BEINGS!! Love and respect one another.

BB8fan Thanks SOOO much, Nancy!!! I appreciated your comment SO much! It was very insightful!! And you are right!! I forgot!!! A HUGE percentage of TVD's fanbase in GENERAL are kids!!! So that's another reason why we shouldn't jump off of the handle and snap on one another! We never know whow we're snapping ON!! Probably some kid who knows nothing more THAN lashing out, and just needs to be TAUGHT another way!!! We've got to return the rudeness with kindness, or don't return it at all!! We've got to ignore, and learn how to be SLOW to ANGER, and QUICK to LISTEN!! And about the wall criteria...I think it's just safe we create an "Uh! Damon is annoying me!" forum, because that man is ALWAYS doing that, God bless him!! Lol. But yeah, I think that's the safest thing! Forums are best! They're less offensive, and less OUT IN THE OPEN!! And even if ALL of the Bamonators feel the same way about "infuriating Damon," seeing it on the WALL often brings down the mood in the spot! So yeah! I'm SO glad you adressed this!! I think we should make forums where we can address all the negative things we may feel from time to time!! But the WALL...it should be a place for elightenment, encouragement, and inspiration!! :D Thanks again SO much for reading this Nancy!! And your comment has helped in SO many ways!! We're gonna clean this spot up! We're gonna clean this fandom up! Thanks for helping! ;D

martinachan I read your article just now, and historical people' quotes always move me, because these people are our past, in their words we can find the answers for everything. I love our spot, it is a place where I met people tolerant and respectful. Bamon fans are different from the others, and you're the PROOF. I hope this is a new beginnings! ps Great Article ;)

fearless-heart Wow. What a beautiful and well said article that was. Loved that you used the Benjamin Franklin quotes, he was a wise man indeed. I personally think all this hate is pointless because at the end of the day bamon fans will still ship bamon and delena will still stomp to their own beat and vice verse with the other ships. All this hate and arguing is childish and not to mention extremely pointless. I'm glad you wrote this article. You inspired me to be a better person, most of all a better fan. So thank you my friend.

BB8fan Martina...WOW. Really...Wow. No words really. I'm so happy you enjoyed the quotes, SO happy you enjoyed the article!! There ARE a lot of tolerant and respectful Bamonators! I wish the DEers could see this. But I guess I can't blame them too much because a lot of Bamanators fail to see the good in DEers. Gosh I just wish we could get over the dislike, disdain, and HATE!!! I wish and I PRAY SOOOO hard!!!! Hopefully some day! Until we have open hearts and open minds with one another, the respect can only take us SO far!! WE need respect, open-mindedness, open-heartedness, and love. WE, as humans, should love one another despite disagreements and differences! And YES, fearless-heart!!! The hate and the arguing, ALL it is is POINTLESS!!! Like you said, we can't change one another's minds!!! We just can't!!! And ALL we do is turn people off MORE, so really it does WORST than nothing!! It's WORST than pointless actually!! It's poison and it's evil, and it's a WASTE of time, when we could be getting along and enjoying one another instead!! I'M so glad YOU READ this article!!! SOOO glad!!! Your comment has made me the HAPPIEST person EVER!!! To know someone has actually read, and not only that, is now willing to CHANGE because of what they read?? My GOSH!!! It's the most GRATIFYING, most JOYOUS feeling!!! So thank YOU my friend!!! You are INCREDIBLE.

DamonsLilBird Great article but I'm still going to be a little bite backer about DE I've been called to many bloody racist names in one whole single month over, meh flippin love for DB. Say part mate is I told other DB fans this but meh use to be a DE shipper (BOoks manly) though the war gots so bad I stop. NOw TVD wars are like sugar rolls compare to GH wars on LIason and Jasam (Jasam baby) even meh anime wars are much crazier and I get crazy too. Though we all should respect them speaking of respect I want to put this out since some ppl always bloody asking meh this or telling meh this I DO NOT BLOODY HATE (STRONG WORD GOD DOESNT APPROVL) OR DISLIKE IAN OR NINA AS A COUPLE OR FRIENDS. BESIDES GOT TONS OF NIAN AND DE ICONS LOL. JUS WANTED IT OUT THERE SORRY BOUT CAPS.

ducky8abug4u Better late than never... Good job! I smiled reading this. I do think perceptions of respect or disrespect can differ from one individual to another but regardless of my thoughts, I appreciated your efforts to build a binding bridge between separate groups. I think what you wrote and what you've accomplished was outstanding. I can only imagine how influential you'd be if the topic addressed real-world issues but I digress. I went to a lot of trouble to say two words: GOOD JOB! I hope to see you back soon!

IndhiraAcevedo i love them man!! i dont even know whats the big deal with delena anyway ;/