[Holly Gribbs is performing her first autopsy]
Gil Grissom: आप gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs.
Gil Grissom: I need आप to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood?
होल्ली, होली Gribbs: What for?
Gil Grissom: It's customary for all new hires.
होल्ली, होली Gribbs: Why?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons...
Warrick Brown: Where'd आप get the blood?
Gil Grissom: The new girl. Want to donate?
Warrick Brown: Hell, no.
[to a room full of dead corpses, after होल्ली, होली Gribbs was frightened into hysterics]
Gil Grissom: आप assholes!
Gil Grissom: Forget about your promotion Warrick, forget about making a hundred, forget about the husband, these things will only confuse you. Concentrate on what cannot lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: I know, गुलाबी Floyd's not your thing.
Gina Harmon: I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes आप think The Dark Side of the Moon synched to the Wizard of Oz is gonna warm my damn barn?
Gil Grissom: I just thought it'd be something different.
Gina Harmon: Wanna be different? Pin me up against a दीवार and lay one on me like आप mean it.
Gil Grissom: Concentrate on what doesn't lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: Every दिन we meet people on the worst दिन of their lives.
Gil Grissom: We look at each case objectively, without presupposition, regardless of sex, creed, color, या bubblegum flavor.
Gil Grissom: Pin आप against a wall?
होल्ली, होली Gribbs: [Upset after being locked in the morgue] There were bodies. I could feel them breathing.
Gil Grissom: [laughs] It's okay, Holly. It's alright.
[Yelling to the bodies]
Gil Grissom: आप assholes!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Secrets & Flies (#6.6)" (2005)
UnderSheriff McKeen: What are आप doing?
Gil Grissom: Circling blowflies.
UnderSheriff McKeen: Why?
Gil Grissom: 'Cause dead flies tell no lies.
[Grissom doesn't answer his phone]
Catherine Willows: Who do आप keep avoiding?
Gil Grissom: Ecklie.
Catherine Willows: Ah, that means आप should answer it.
Gil Grissom: No, he just wants to yell at me because I'm late with the personnel evaluations. It can wait.
Sofia Curtis: Grissom, Ecklie has been looking for you. Is your cell not working?
Gil Grissom: What are आप doing here?
Sofia Curtis: Well, apparently, I was a CSI, then a detective, but now I'm a messenger. You're needed at the lab ASAP.
Gil Grissom: Why?
Sofia Curtis: I have no idea. But the undersheriff's camped out in the break room.
Gil Grissom: The science in these textbooks is sound, but the tape is और than enough to get reasonable doubt.
Conrad Ecklie: Well, there's no doubt in my mind that Thayer worked his science to get the जवाब the defense needed.
Gil Grissom: I just finished your eval.
Catherine Willows: And?
Gil Grissom: In the टिप्पणियाँ section, I noted that if आप had my job, these evaluations wouldn't be late.
Catherine Willows: Thank you.
Catherine Willows: [about Thayer] The guy's an ass.
Gil Grissom: He used to be a competent scientist. We actually co-authored a paper together 10 years ago. I believe greed has gotten in his way.
Catherine Willows: Well, I've seen him on the stand. He manipulates evidence.
Gil Grissom: He manipulates people. The public assumes that scientists are ethical, but many of us are no better than politicians, evidently.
Catherine Willows: I don't know who killed Christina Adalian, I don't know how she got pregnant, and I don't know the identity of the baby's biological parents.
Gil Grissom: It's always good to know what आप don't know.
[Grissom walks in]
Henry Andrews: Why did the fly fly?
Gil Grissom: Because the मकड़ी spied her.
[pause]
Gil Grissom: Catherine's daughter told me that when she was three.
Mark Thayer: आप impugned my character.
Gil Grissom: What character?
Mark Thayer: This is all your fault.
Gil Grissom: I hope so.
[last lines]
UnderSheriff McKeen: So, Grissom, I'm not sure of your ambitions, but if you're interested in taking on और responsibility, maybe a promotion, I'd be glad to pass...
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] आप know, Oscar Wilde once said: "Ambition is the last refuge of failure." I'm fine. Thanks.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Sex, Lies and Larvae (#1.10)" (2000)
Captain Jim Brass: We ID'd the body and located the husband...
Gil Grissom: Let me guess - downtown, Freemont district?
Captain Jim Brass: आप know, I'm not even gonna ask.
Sara Sidle: What if... आप can hear the victim's screams? In the car, या at the store.
Gil Grissom: आप have empathy for her, Sara. आप want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] आप want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did आप just say what I think आप said?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams, आप can tell me it's nothing, it's just empathy.
Sara Sidle: What if... आप can hear the victim's screams. In the car, या at the store.
Gil Grissom: आप have empathy for her, Sara. आप want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] आप want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did आप just say what I think आप did?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams... आप can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
Scott Shelton: Like I said, I'd wrestle her off me, but I never, ever, laid a hand on her.
Sara Sidle: How 'bout a gun?
[glares at him]
Scott Shelton: [looks to Grissom]
[scoffs]
Scott Shelton: आप have your hands full with her.
Gil Grissom: So do you.
Gil Grissom: You've still got to convince a jury.
Sara Sidle: On bullets. It's got to be better than bugs.
[Grissom looks at her]
Sara Sidle: Less Latin.
Sara Sidle: You're the one who कहा one, piece of evidence is better than ten eyewitnesses.
Gil Grissom: What do आप tape everything I say?
[Sara shrugs]
Scott Shelton: [after Sara finds blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it "got there" was when आप shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountains!
[Points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face, bitch!
[He pushes her finger away, and she pushes him back]
Gil Grissom: Sara!
[Grissom pulls her back]
Sara Sidle: आप touch me again, आप draw back a stump!
Scott Shelton: Look at her.
Gil Grissom: Sara!
Captain Jim Brass: Can't आप control her?
Gil Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: I told आप she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: आप don't know a handful!
[Brass leaves with Scott Shelton]
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a *gun* and look how he treated me! I can only *imagine* how he treated his wife!
[walks away]
Captain Jim Brass: So, आप planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?
Gil Grissom: It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.
Captain Jim Brass: I thought your bugs never made mistakes.
Gil Grissom: They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket या clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight - -maybe tighter than I realized - -which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects.
Captain Jim Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Gil Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Captain Jim Brass: Well, let me ask आप this. आप killed a pig just for this?
Gil Grissom: This poor ham was already on its way to someone's क्रिस्मस रात का खाना table.
Captain Jim Brass: Wouldn't a rabbit be easier?
Gil Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah, I've been saying that since I was a rookie.
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when आप shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
[to Grissom]
Captain Jim Brass: Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told आप she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, आप don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when आप shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
Captain Jim Brass: [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told आप she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, आप don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Who Are You? (#1.6)" (2000)
[Eddie, Cath's ex is accused of rape]
Gil Grissom: What's the status?
Catherine Willows: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.
Gil Grissom: ...Vigorous.
Warrick Brown: She's trying to tell आप Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine Willows: Thank you, Warrick.
[a skeleton is found in a house foundation]
Gil Grissom: द्वारा law, you've got to disclose everything: three bedrooms, two baths and a skeleton.
Gil Grissom: So. How's the thing Catherine passed off to आप going?
Warrick Brown: What thing?
Gil Grissom: The thing with Eddie Willows?
Warrick Brown: Er, good.
Gil Grissom: आप called the DMV yet?
Warrick Brown: I was just about to.
Gil Grissom: Hmm. Warrick, why would आप call the DMV on a rape charge?
Warrick Brown: [looks at Catherine] If आप want me to suave anybody, I gotta know the shot.
Catherine Willows: I'm sorry. I didn't pass it off.
Gil Grissom: Really?
Catherine Willows: Got anything for me?
Gil Grissom: Yeah, but I can't give it to you. Conflict of interest.
Catherine Willows: Why?
Gil Grissom: The victim's an exotic dancer.
Catherine Willows: And because I used to *be* one, I'll be biased?
Gil Grissom: No. The suspect's your ex-husband.
Gil Grissom: आप bring in a specialist without consulting me?
Catherine Willows: What? And आप don't bring one in, possibly compromising the case because आप two had a relationship?
Gil Grissom: Relationship? I hardly know that woman.
Catherine Willows: Oh, so I guess that dopey look in your eye whenever she's around is just that.
Greg Sanders: It's not real sand. It's finely crushed granite.
Nick Stokes: What does that mean?
Gil Grissom: It means she wasn't killed in Hawaii. Other than that, he has no idea.
Teri Miller: It's not going to be easy, getting an impression off this.
Gil Grissom: They told me आप were the best forensic artist in the country.
Teri Miller: And Canada. I didn't say I couldn't do it.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: King Baby (#5.15)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Question. आप come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do आप do?
Greg Sanders: ...Is that a trick question?
Captain Jim Brass: Welcome to the party.
Catherine Willows: [to Grissom & Ecklie] What's going on? This is my scene.
Conrad Ecklie: High प्रोफ़ाइल case - woke up the supervisors. All hands on deck, Cath. Grissom's lead on this, he's the senior supervisor... I'm an administrator, I run interference for आप guys. Starting with the press.
Gil Grissom: It's nothing personal, Catherine. Cases like these rain down hard, आप need all the help आप can get.
Catherine Willows: I need help. Not supervision.
Gil Grissom: Count Basie कहा that it's the notes आप don't hear that matter.
Gil Grissom: I've enjoyed working with you.
Catherine Willows: Which part? The part where I got in your face या the part where I, uh, लॉस्ट evidence, or, uh, maybe आप just missed me?
Gil Grissom: I did miss you. I missed your passion and your tenacity. I even missed your tush.
Gil Grissom: It's only the truly powerful that have the luxury to relinquish power.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Where would आप go if आप had the connections and the cash to go anywhere आप wanted?
Captain Jim Brass: I hear Fiji's nice.
Gil Grissom: Eiger went further. He went all the way back to his childhood.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah. I think I'd take Fiji.
Gil Grissom: Well, howdy! I was wondering: Do आप carry adult diapers?
Madge: Oh, we sure do! What are you: About a 34 या a 36?
Gil Grissom: Well... they're not for me.
Madge: [she looks at Nick Stokes and smiles] Well, aren't आप lucky to have such a nice daddy?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Formalities (#5.7)" (2004)
[first lines]
[Grissom struggles to tie a bowtie]
Catherine Willows: What are आप doing?
Gil Grissom: I'm going insane. I don't understand this diagram.
Catherine Willows: आप don't need a diagram. आप need a woman.
[stands behind him and successfully ties the tie]
Catherine Willows: I'm looking आगे to your speech.
[Grissom's speech on a napkin]
Gil Grissom: What can I say about Conrad Ecklie?
Sofia Curtis: Sofia Curtis.
Gil Grissom: CSI-three, दिन shift. आप work for Ecklie.
Sofia Curtis: As of tonight, so do you.
[Grissom leaves the ballroom and comes to the hotel]
Officer Metcalf: Hey, Griss. What's with the monkey suit?
Gil Grissom: I was at a funeral across the street.
Officer Metcalf: At a casino? My condolences.
Gil Grissom: Do आप always process like this?
Sofia Curtis: Like what?
Gil Grissom: With your mouth.
[Sofia tells something to Grissom who isn't paying attention to her]
Sofia Curtis: [pause] That time I was talking to you.
Gil Grissom: Huh?
[turns to her]
Gil Grissom: Sorry. I was, uh, treating it like white noise.
Catherine Willows: Why are आप talking to yourself?
Gil Grissom: I'm trying a new technique.
Catherine Willows: Is it working?
Gil Grissom: I have no idea.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Way to Go (#6.24)" (2006)
Bobby Dawson: But, boss, I don't think that's your murder weapon?
Gil Grissom: And आप know this how?
Bobby Dawson: Uh, here, I'll let Hawkeye दिखाना you.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom looks in the barrel of the gun] What is that?
Bobby Dawson: Well, Hodges will have to कन्फर्म it but I'm pretty certain it's cream of wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer.
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle and pop!
[Nick is looking for a victim's severed head]
Gil Grissom: हे Nick!
Nick Stokes: Yeah?
Gil Grissom: I think I found a toupee. Our vic may be bald.
Nick Stokes: Thanks. That will help me distinguish it from the other severed heads I find out here.
Gil Grissom: [the camera focus is on Grissom] I don't know. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose. Never know that it's happening, like a crime scene. Surprise, your dead.
[the camera has slowly spins around to reveal Grissom is in a bedroom]
Gil Grissom: I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer actually, have some time to prepare.
[Grissom sighs]
Gil Grissom: Go back to the rain forest one और time, re-read 'Moby Dick.'
[the camera is now behind Grissom and focus on a room. A female steps out wearing a white silky bathrobe]
Gil Grissom: Possibly enter an international chess tournament.
[the female walks towards Grissom and the camera focus stays only on her body]
Gil Grissom: At least have enough time to say 'goodbye' to the ones that I love.
[the female sits besides him. It's Sara]
Sara Sidle: I'm not ready to say 'Goodbye.'
[Sara smiles at him. The camera focus switches to Grissom who smiles back]
Bobby Dawson: Hodges will have to verify this, but I believe that is Cream of Wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer?
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle, pop!
Greg Sanders: [about Brass]
[to Grissom]
Greg Sanders: Just between आप and me, does he always wear a suit?
Greg Sanders: Like when आप guys go to रात का खाना या the फिल्में या whatever it is when आप hang out.
Greg Sanders: Cause' I got to tell ya. The thought of him in a sweater, it freaks me out
Gil Grissom: We don't hang out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: No kidding, I just assumed
Gil Grissom: What do आप think?
Sara Sidle: I think I feel fat.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lady Heather's Box (#3.15)" (2003)
[at Lady Heather's front door]
Gil Grissom: I'd like to come in.
Lady Heather: I'm sure आप do. Say the magic word.
Captain Jim Brass: Warrant.
Gil Grissom: I owe आप an apology.
Lady Heather: Apologies are just words.
Captain Jim Brass: We are going back to Lady Heather's.
Gil Grissom: I can take care of this myself.
Captain Jim Brass: Gil, do me a favor. Get a sport car. It's a lot cheaper and easier to handle.
Lady Heather: Unfortunately the language we speak in here doesn't necessarily translate to the world out there.
Gil Grissom: No, in here, the submissive has the power... all he has to do is say the safety word and everything stops.
Lady Heather: Very good, Mr. Grissom.
Gil Grissom: I'm just repeating what I've heard.
Lady Heather: You're a good listener.
Gil Grissom: Part of the job.
Lady Heather: So, this is work?
Gil Grissom: Yes, but I value your insight.
Lady Heather: I'm flattered... but आप already seem to know the जवाब to your questions. आप keep me in proximity when I walk away
[she moves closer to him]
Lady Heather: and when I'm close आप watch my lips. Are आप losing your hearing?
Gil Grissom: I'm losing my balance.
Lady Heather: Your sense of self?
Gil Grissom: No, I know who I am.
Lady Heather: Do you?
Gil Grissom: Yes... I do.
[he touches one side of her cheek with one hand then the other with his other hand]
Gil Grissom: आप can always say "stop".
Lady Heather: So can you.
Gil Grissom: There's seminal fluid all over the place.
Sara Sidle: Is this a dance club या a sex club?
Warrick Brown: A little of both. Don't आप प्यार this town?
Sara Sidle: Whatever आप say, Superfly.
Lady Heather: Do आप like my lipstick?
Gil Grissom: Why?
Lady Heather: You've been staring at my lips.
Gil Grissom: आप have very lovely lips.
[Brass looks back between the two and then goes back to processing]
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Viva Las Vegas (#5.1)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: This is your proficiency test, Greg. आप might want to work the scene.
Gil Grissom: What's this blue stuff on the slide and the grip?
[pause]
Gil Grissom: It's okay to say आप don't know, Greg. That's why we have a trace lab.
[Greg is introducing his replacement, Chandra, to the lab]
Gil Grissom: Did आप get her blood yet?
Chandra Moore: What for?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons.
Gil Grissom: Hey, Grissom आप got something stuck on your shoe.
Gil Grissom: [looks]
Captain Jim Brass: Oh, no; it's just Sanders.
Greg Sanders: Duct tape. So the shooter stuck the gun in the toilet earlier to avoid the metal detector.
Gil Grissom: Echoes of Michael Corleone.
Greg Sanders: I can tell आप that the toilets in the club had blue water.
Gil Grissom: आप inspected the toilet bowls for evidence?
Greg Sanders: Well, when आप got to go, आप got to go.
Gil Grissom: At a crime scene, Greg?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Grave Danger: Volume 2 (#5.25)" (2005)
[Nick is being taken to the hospital, with Catherine and Warrick accompanying him. Ecklie and Grissom watch the रोगी वाहन, एम्बुलेंस leave]
Gil Grissom: I want my guys back.
[Nick is lying in the coffin]
Gil Grissom: Pancho! Listen to me. Put your hand on my hand. Good. Now listen. There may be explosives under the box.
Nick Stokes: [in the coffin; saying good bye to his family and friends; speaking to Grissom] I disappointed you.
Gil Grissom: [at the lab watching the video] No आप never did, Nick.
Nick Stokes: [Nick is seen on video feed saying something unheard, possible "I never meant to disappoint you."]
Gil Grissom: आप never did, Nicky.
Gil Grissom: Alright, Poncho, we're gonna open the lid and get आप out, but I need आप to stay lying dowm. Okay? या else you'll blow us all up. आप understand that?
Nick Stokes: Yeah, yeah.
Gil Grissom: Do आप promise, Poncho?
[Nick nods]
Gil Grissom: Say I promise.
Nick Stokes: [crying] I promise.
[first lines]
[paramedic checks Grissom after explosion]
Paramedic: Pupils are even.
Gil Grissom: [to himself] He blew himself up and left us with nothing.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Pledging Mr. Johnson (#1.4)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: Now tell me, why are we here?
Gil Grissom: Because this is the only place within 10 miles of Caulville खाड़ी, बे that serves Calamari.
Catherine Willows: And आप know this because...?
Gil Grissom: I come here for calamari.
Catherine Willows: Alone?
Gil Grissom: No. Sometimes I have a बीयर, बियर with it.
Catherine Willows: You're right, आप know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil Grissom: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine Willows: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?
[after a huge argument]
Gil Grissom: Look, could we have a truce?
Catherine Willows: I would प्यार to.
Gil Grissom: I think आप scared him, all his hairs are standing up.
Gil Grissom: So, was the नाव at the marina?
Catherine Willows: What do आप think?
Gil Grissom: My मकड़ी sense says it wasn't.
Gil Grissom: [to Sanders] Keep thinking Butch, that's what you're good at.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Primum Non Nocere (#2.16)" (2002)
[Gil and Catherine are investigating the bedroom of a stockbroker who was killed playing hockey]
Catherine Willows: It's never a good sign when a guy has और women than chairs.
Gil Grissom: What's the ratio here?
Catherine Willows: Judging from these stains, I'd say four women for every piece of furniture including the TV. At least we know what this guy was about - bucks, pucks and... chicks.
[upon discovering massive amounts of weapons present at a hockey game]
Gil Grissom: It looks like these guys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
Gil Grissom: There are three things people प्यार to stare at: A rippling stream, a sunset, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Sara Sidle: Charlie Brown... I प्यार a Zamboni.
Sara Sidle: Since when are आप interested in beauty?
Gil Grissom: Since I met you.
Dr. Al Robbins: What is it about organized sports?
Gil Grissom: Well, organized sports is the paradigmatic model of a just society... Everyone knows the same language, everyone knows the rules, and there's a specific punishment handed out the moment someone tries to cheat. It's instant morality.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Weeping Willows (#5.22)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Did आप hear the one about the cop and the monkey who walk into a bar?
Catherine Willows: I'm not in the mood.
Gil Grissom: Neither was the monkey.
Gil Grissom: This is a .25 caliber.
Dr. Al Robbins: What, disappointed?
Gil Grissom: We found a .22 in the victim's car. This just ruled that out as the murder weapon.
Dr. Al Robbins: So shoot me.
David Hodges: The metallic balls would've been released into the air during the welding process.
Gil Grissom: So you're saying our killer has metal balls?
David Hodges: Yes. Maybe. Turns out that the victim worked in a car dealership, so she could've gotten metal balls on the job. And just in case you're wondering, working here, I'm developing them too.
[Grissom smirks]
[last lines]
Catherine Willows: Gil. I'd ask आप out for a drink, but under the circumstances, it's, ah...
[Grissom ignores her]
Catherine Willows: OK, how long is this going to go on?
Gil Grissom: I don't know, Catherine.
Catherine Willows: Gil, it was an act of omission.
Gil Grissom: How many times have we heard a public defender say that?
Catherine Willows: I went out after work. Is it a crime to want a little human contact?
Gil Grissom: I guess that's why I don't go out.
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine Willows regarding the possibility of her private life being scrutinized in an investigation] We all live in glass houses, just be careful where आप take your shower.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Committed (#5.21)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Crazy या not, here we come.
Gil Grissom: Sex is the foreplay, violence is the climax.
Sara Sidle: When my father died, my mother came to a place like this for a while for evaluation.
[pause]
Sara Sidle: It looked the same, it smelled the same. It smelled like lies.
Gil Grissom: आप sure you're OK?
Sara Sidle: Crazy people do make me feel crazy.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Well, jail या no jail - I don't think she'll last six months. She'll die without her son.
Sara Sidle: That would be better for both of them.
Dr. Al Robbins: Let's start with the stomach contents. They're fascinating. They reminded me of that scene in Jaws where Dreyfuss cuts open the sharks belly and all sorts of weird things come out?
Gil Grissom: आप found a license plate?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: तालिका, टेबल Stakes (#1.15)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: Have आप got the DNA results from the fingernail Catherine found?
Greg Sanders: Yeah. They're not a match to Patrick Haynes.
Gil Grissom: I never figured a man for the fingernail, Greg.
Greg Sanders: But this is where आप break out the can of creep repellent. Half of the DNA markers are in common.
Gil Grissom: A possible first degree relative?
Gil Grissom: OK, I'm starting to forgive you.
Gil Grissom: The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And now the Lord arranged for a मछली to निगलना, निगल, निगल संकलन up Jonah. आप know what the problem with these piranhas is? They got high cholesterol. मछली don't have cholesterol. Humans do. So how did these मछली acquire human cholesterol?
Catherine Willows: What's with the smile?
Gil Grissom: They're playing our song.
Catherine Willows: Caught in the act.
Gil Grissom: I think that was the point.
Catherine Willows: Oh, yeah.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Chaos Theory (#2.2)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: We told them what happened.
Catherine Willows: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed - closure.
Gil Grissom: Truth brings closure.
Catherine Willows: Not always.
Gil Grissom: They have this system in place when आप went to school here?
Warrick Brown: With all the stuff me and my boys got away with, it's probably why they have them now.
Gil Grissom: आप showered.
Catherine Willows: Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant.
Gil Grissom: [studying a surveillance tape and inadvertently blocking Cath's view] Can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like?
Catherine Willows: A five-foot-eleven workaholic.
Warrick Brown: Where have आप been?
Gil Grissom: I can't be everywhere, and they've banned human cloning.
Gil Grissom: People just don't vanish, Jim. It's a molecular impossibility.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Harvest (#5.3)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Nick. आप failed your firearm qualifications. आप can't be here.
Nick Stokes: Oh yeah, well, I'm takin' it again, दिन after tomorrow. So I figured I could work.
Gil Grissom: Not in the field.
Nick Stokes: You're serious?
Gil Grissom: You're in violation just carrying a weapon.
Catherine Willows: [to Gil] Have आप been to bed?
Gil Grissom: Yes.
Catherine Willows: Did आप sleep?
[pauses]
Catherine Willows: Me neither. She was the same age as Lindsey. She was trying to hitchhike.
Gil Grissom: Where was she going?
Catherine Willows: Fremont Street.
Gil Grissom: Was she buying drugs?
Catherine Willows: No! She's twelve. She's... just so angry. She doesn't talk to me.
Gil Grissom: Well, if enough people knew what was out there hunting them, they'd never leave their house. I think आप need to sit her down.
Catherine Willows: Well, I don't want to scare her. I don't want my daughter to be this... frightened, paranoid kid who's always looking over her shoulder.
Gil Grissom: Catherine, there's a big difference between scaring her and preparing her. And all the reasons why आप should are in that room.
Gil Grissom: [to Sybil] Did आप injure yourself, Mrs. Perez?
Sybil Perez: [looks down and sees a bloodstain on her shirt] Oh, a nosebleed.
Gil Grissom: That's a lot of blood. I'm going to need to take your shirt.
Sybil Perez: Why?
Gil Grissom: If आप like, I can have someone follow आप घर so that आप can change.
Sybil Perez: आप think we had something to do with it? Our daughter is missing. She's out there somewhere alone and scared. What are आप doing about that?
Gil Grissom: I'm just collecting evidence.
Sybil Perez: Fine. Here!
[removes her कमीज, शर्ट and throws it at Grissom]
Sybil Perez: Take it! Go find her!
Gil Grissom: Alicia's cause of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: Cardiopulmonary arrest.
Gil Grissom: Time of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: That's a little trickier. No solids in the stomach contents, just a milky liquid. Liver mortis was fixed and deep purple with a vitreous humor potassium level of 20 millimoles per liter with faint putrefaction. So, I'd say she's been dead about... 44 hours between midnight and 8:00 A.M., the दिन of her kidnapping.
Gil Grissom: Which means April Perez was lying about the abduction.
Dr. Al Robbins: Yep. Story's got और holes than her sister's bones.
Daniel Perez: [to Grissomm in a church] I didn't realize until... today... how lucky I am. I know pretty much... how and when I'm gonna die. Most people don't. It's what they're afraid of.
Gil Grissom: Was your sister afraid?
Daniel Perez: Never. I'm 11 years older than her, and she took care of me. She was my best friend, and I miss her. As much pain as... I caused her... and she wouldn't give up, and she... she wouldn't let me, either. That's why... during the last relapse, I made my parents swear that it was the very last time.
Gil Grissom: But then your kidneys failed, and they broke their word, huh?
Daniel Perez: They told me they... swore not to fight the cancer, so this didn't count. I wasn't gonna lose this fight. I couldn't watch her suffer anymore.
Gil Grissom: This wasn't a mercy killing, Daniel. This was an execution. Bone marrow, transfusions... that's her blood in your veins. It dripped out of your nose onto the blanket while आप were killing her. If आप cared so much for Alicia, why didn't आप take your own life instead of hers?
Daniel Perez: Suicide isn't an option. It's an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God.
Gil Grissom: But आप believe that your god forgives murder? If that's your defense, it won't keep आप out of jail.
Daniel Perez: [in tears, crying] But my death will. See, I've got about six और months. I'll be dead before there's even a trial. I-I do want to thank you, though.
Gil Grissom: For what?
Gil Grissom: For speaking for Alicia. You're probably the first person in her life to think only of her. आप know, आप may not believe in God, sir, but आप do his work.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lab Rats (#7.20)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Can आप smell that?
Dr. Al Robbins: Yes.
Gil Grissom: आप shouldn't be able to smell that though your suit.
Dr. Al Robbins: Good to know.
Gil Grissom: It's just a चूहा fellas, why आप wearing the hazmat gear?
David Phillips: He made me do it.
Dr. Al Robbins: It's a wild animal covered with potentially biohazardous material, with claws. Rabies, scabies, AIDS, hepatitis, I'm thinking of this suit as a giant rubber glove.
Gil Grissom: Did आप know that rodents have skeletons with flexible joints?
Dr. Al Robbins: No.
Gil Grissom: If they can get their head through something, the rest of their body can contort to fit. They can crawl into spaces as small as a quarter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Lousy varmints.
[on seeing the fried rat, Doc laughs]
Dr. Al Robbins: Bastard hit the main line.
Dr. Al Robbins: [sarcastically] Nice work.
Gil Grissom: At least I tried to get him... Where were you?
Dr. Al Robbins: I *hate* rats.
Gil Grissom: Why are आप guys wearing hazmat suits?
David Phillips: He made me!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: बिल्ली in the Cradle... (#2.20)" (2002)
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk in on Greg listening to loud music] Could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: [music stops] There's still time, Greg.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah - and I absorbed it.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was *my* line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
[after witnessing a child ignoring her mother]
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine] My mother may have been deaf but she was still the boss.
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk into Greg's lab to see him rocking out to blaring rock and roll music] I could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: There's still time, Greg. Tell us about the foreign substance we found in the vic's wound track.
Greg Sanders: Uh, well, I like to rub it all over a lady's body. Even better... I, uh... like it when she rubs it all over me. And it's also used as a स्टूल, मल softner.
Catherine Willows: It's also the only open lead in our case. Spit it out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: Mineral oil.
Gil Grissom: Possibly used as a preservative to prevent rusting of high-carbon steel.
Catherine Willows: Like the blades of knives.
Greg Sanders: Old knives. New ones are made from stainless steel. Yeah, I'm like a sponge. I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
Catherine Willows: Okay, so... knives, screwdrivers, ice pick, letter opener. We're looking for a weapon with a splash of mineral oil. I'll grab the ALS.
Greg Sanders: An ALS. For mineral oil?
Gil Grissom: Mineral oil fluoresces at 525 nanometers when filtered through a kv590. A little और absorbing... a little less rock and roll.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: फ्रेंड्स & प्रेमी (#1.5)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: Teenage wasteland.
Warrick Brown: Who?
Gil Grissom: Yeah!
Gil Grissom: Someone chased this kid to death.
Gil Grissom: [to Ethan] Let me tell आप something, Humbert. You're twice the age of these kids, and half of them couldn't find their own नितंब, गधा with a map. आप prey on innocent children, concocting God-knows-what from God-knows-where, selling Russian Roulette in a bottle and आप think we came all the way out here to bust आप for possession, आप dumb punk? I'm gonna get आप for murder. Cool?
Warrick Brown: Where are आप going?
Gil Grissom: Away.
[Rides a rollercoaster alone]
Gil Grissom: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane अगला to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet, there'd be this tiny brown मकड़ी fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the अगला day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the अगला day, and what do आप think happened to the spider?
Warrick Brown: Dead.
Gil Grissom: On his back, eight legs in the air. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then I realized where we stand. I understood our role. We don't impose our will. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Nesting गुड़िया (#5.13)" (2005)
Sara Sidle: [Sara and Grissom sit facing each other. The light from the setting sun filters through the darkening room] It's funny... the things that आप remember and the things that आप don't, आप know. There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts. I remember the woman who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name, which is strange, आप know, 'cause I couldn't let go of her hand.
Grissom: Well... the mind has its filters.
Sara Sidle: I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. Do आप think there's a murder gene?
Grissom: I don't believe that genes are a predictor of violent behavior.
Sara Sidle: आप wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't.
[Sara starts to cry. Grissom reaches out and holds her hand]
[last lines]
Grissom: [about Sara] She's a great criminalist, Conrad. And I need her.
Conrad Ecklie: I'm sure आप do. आप know what? She's a loose तोप with a gun. And she's all yours.
[Grissom comes to Sara's residence]
Sara Sidle: Well, if you're here, it can't be good... Can I get आप anything?
Grissom: Sure. An explanation.
Grissom: It's from The Big Chill. One of the characters explaining a basic fact of life - that rationalizations are और important to us than sex even.
Conrad Ecklie: I thought I was clear.
Grissom: आप were. Now let me be clear. Sara's behavior is a direct result of my management.
Conrad Ecklie: So I should आग you.
Grissom: But आप won't.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Evaluation दिन (#1.22)" (2001)
[Warrick and Grissom are on a roller coaster]
Warrick Brown: What happened to my evaluation?
Gil Grissom: You're sitting on it.
Gil Grissom: [to a waiter] Excuse me, do आप recognize this ear?
[about a decapitation case]
Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: आप think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: Scared of you.
Gil Grissom: Repeat after me. Silk, silk, silk.
Nick Stokes: Silk, silk, silk.
Gil Grissom: What do cows drink?
Nick Stokes: Milk.
Gil Grissom: Cows drink water. They give milk.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: 4x4 (#5.19)" (2005)
Captain Jim Brass: Let me get this straight, Larry. An old man refuses to let आप steal his money, so आप jack a Hummer and try to run over his टैको, taco stand?
Lawrence Lafontaine: Maybe.
Gil Grissom: I think this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Tough shift, huh?
Nick Stokes: Just another दिन in paradise.
Judy Tremont: [answering the phone] Crime Lab. How can we help you?
[first lines]
Officer Metcalf: This is the best टैको, taco I ever had.
Gil Grissom: I'm happy for आप both.
Captain Jim Brass: What, did आप piss off Ecklie again? This is a hit and run. I was expecting Greg Sanders.
Gil Grissom: We're slammed. Everybody's on a case.
Greg Sanders: This is just like that Edgar Allan Poe story where the victim's दिल under the floorboards betrays the murder.
Gil Grissom: "The Tell-Tale Heart". I thought आप didn't like पढ़ना the classics.
Greg Sanders: I do when they're about dismembered bodies.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: To Halve and to Hold (#1.14)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's interesting to me how आप always expect the worst.
Catherine Willows: आप see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised.
[Grissom was licking rocks to see if they're bones]
Gil Grissom: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine Willows: Well, do आप want to suck on it? To be sure?
Gil Grissom: Did आप know there are 206 बोन्स in the human body?
Catherine Willows: Yes professor. I too took osteology.
Catherine Willows: So, are आप thinking what I'm thinking?
Gil Grissom: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine Willows: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Snuff (#3.8)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: No bug spray!
Gil Grissom: Where's your crockpot, doc?
Teri Miller: I see you're learning to cook for yourself.
Gil Grissom: Well I had to, Teri, I heard आप were married.
Gil Grissom: द्वारा the way, the definition of the word retard is to hinder या to hold someone back. I think your life is about to become retarded.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Down the Drain (#5.2)" (2004)
Greg Sanders: What are आप doing?
Gil Grissom: Good, your here.
[tosses him a plastic cup]
Gil Grissom: Fill this up for me, will ya.
Greg Sanders: With what?
Gil Grissom: It's a urine specimen cup, Greg, what do आप think?
Greg Sanders: [looks at the cup again]
[pauses]
Greg Sanders: Okay.
Sara Sidle: I don't have a death wish, and I'm not a drunk. In case आप were worried.
Gil Grissom: I'm not worried. I'm concerned.
Gil Grissom: That took a long time. आप may need a prostate exam.
Greg Sanders: My prostate is just fine!
[Greg's first autopsy]
Gil Grissom: Take a look at the trachea. What do आप see?
Greg Sanders: Foam... like the head of a beer.
[Grissom looks at him]
Greg Sanders: Sorry.
Gil Grissom: No. It's a good analogy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bully for आप (#2.4)" (2001)
Warrick Brown: I thought it was our job to speak for the victim no matter what it took... and to hell with the budgets.
Gil Grissom: Our job is to think, Warrick. Machinery should never matter और than our mind.
[investigating a murder in high school]
Warrick Brown: What were you: a jock या a brain?
Gil Grissom: I was a ghost.
Gil Grissom: Let me guess. Decomp in an enclosed space? Lemons.
Gil Grissom: Sara, do आप have any duct tape in your kit?
Sara Sidle: Yeah. It's what I use to hold it together.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Drops (#1.7)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: How's the little girl?
Sara Sidle: Uh, well, the *shrink* कहा she's in a catatonic state as a result of trauma. *I* could have told आप that. Oh, but she *did* respond to the name Buffalo.
Gil Grissom: Respond how?
Sara Sidle: She freaked out.
Gil Grissom: And, what are doing about that now?
Sara Sidle: Going back to the girl. She's out in the car. The windows are cracked. Hey, give me a little credit, she's at the hospital.
Gil Grissom: This is a Lady Macbeth. "Out, out damn spot!". There's not a trace of blood on the teen daughter's clothing. Not a spot!
Tina Collins: That was the last night he was going to touch her.
Gil Grissom: But why your mother? Why your brothers?
Tina Collins: Because they should have protected me.
Gil Grissom: You?
Tina Collins: I was young. I learned to deal. But when he went after my daughter.
Gil Grissom: Daughter? Who's...
Tina Collins: The father? I was 13 and nobody noticed that my clothes were getting bigger.
Conrad Ecklie: That's a career killer.
Gil Grissom: That's what's so sad, Conrad. आप see this as a career.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Rashomama (#6.21)" (2006)
Hodges: आप know, आप and me, we're not the marrying kind. The intricacies of our nature can never be understood द्वारा just one woman.
Gil Grissom: Would आप close the door, please?
[Hodges does so]
Gil Grissom: From the other side.
Gil Grissom: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." Spring is but a song/Where प्यार and laughter are not wrong/The blossoms of desire do belong/And Harmonia axyridus fly along.
Frank Rosetti: आप want to see a crime scene? I'll दिखाना आप a crime scene. C'mere, c'mere, look at this, huh?
[shows a smashed wedding cake]
Frank Rosetti: What this woman had against the color peach, I've never seen anything like it. "If आप think you're serving that flesh-colored abomination and I'm paying for it, आप can think again!" Boom! I'm a 42-year-old paisan; she scared me. I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her, tied themselves to the car, the dame was a pill. I swear to God, she may have taken two या three years off my own life. Weddings are a blood, sweat and tears marathon, my friend. I'm on a tight schedule. 12 noon: I got first intro of the couple. 12:30: सलाद course. 12:45: first dance. 1 o'clock: chair dance, chicken dance, झाड़ू dance - I don't care, I'm equal-opportunity. 1:30: main course. 2:15: first toast, groom's side. If the best man shuts his mouth, at 2:16 we have the first टोस्ट of the bride's side. 3 o'clock: we cut the cake. 3:30: bouquet toss.
Gil Grissom: That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
Frank Rosetti: I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing.
Greg Sanders: He was kidding about the diapers, right?
Jill Shoemaker: For the past six months she made my life Hell, and so I told anyone who would listen that she should die a fiery death. So now everyone's going to think that I killed her.
Gil Grissom: Would आप like to be और specific?
Jill Shoemaker: Okay, well, when we got engaged, she ran into the backyard and she screamed "Why, God, why me?" Okay, she wore white today! She, she, she invited Adam's very, very attractive, very, um, single ex-girlfriends. When she found out I had registered for sporting goods, she went behind my back and she changed the registry to housewares saying I had better learn how to cook! Okay, I'm a vegetarian, and she demanded roast beef! Um, oh and then there's the toast... the toast!
Gil Grissom: Are आप trying to make me think that आप didn't kill her?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: फर and Loathing (#4.5)" (2003)
[after finding traces of semen on Bud Simmons' cat costume]
Catherine Willows: Okay, well, I've heard of some guys getting off in some weird ways, but humping an animal suit? Whatever happened to normal sex?
Gil Grissom: What is normal sex?
Catherine Willows: So आप think it's natural for a grown man to only be intimate with a talking animal?
Gil Grissom: Well, Freud कहा that the only unusual sexual behavior was to have none at all. And after that, it was only a matter of opportunity and preference. And evidently, some people prefer the feel of फर to the texture of human skin.
Catherine Willows: Well, I like hairy chests, but I'm not about to bop a six-foot weasel.
Gil Grissom: Whoa, this is incredibly detailed. Eyelashes, nostrils...
Catherine Willows: Oh yeah, that's what आप see out of. I once dated the Detroit Lions Mascot. Off season. Dutch was his name.
Gil Grissom: The breadth of your social experience never ceases to impress me.
Gil Grissom: Most mammals only copulate seasonally.
Catherine Willows: How boring.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Slaves of Las Vegas (#2.8)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: You're very good. आप could work for me.
Lady Heather: आप want to be my boss?
Gil Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence.
Catherine Willows: Do आप get these haikus out of a book, या do they just come to you?
Catherine Willows: I just realized that आप and I have a very healthy relationship.
Gil Grissom: We do?
Catherine Willows: When we have a problem, I don't paint Greg in latex and stick a straw up his nose.
Gil Grissom: Good. He'd probably like it.
Catherine Willows: You're supposed to say something revealing back to me.
Gil Grissom: Okay. I never told anyone this, Catherine.
[screen fades to black]
Gil Grissom: I notice आप have no चित्रो of your family in your office.
Eileen Nelson: I know what they look like.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Cross-Jurisdictions (#2.22)" (2002)
[Catherine returns to Vegas from Miami]
Catherine Willows: Hello.
Gil Grissom: Hey. Nice tan.
Catherine Willows: Nice suit.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, well, I knew आप were coming back today, so I dressed up.
Catherine Willows: Yeah... right...
Gil Grissom: Really.
[Cath looks him up and down]
Gil Grissom: What?
Catherine Willows: Nothing. It's just unusual to... see आप dressed... like that.
Gil Grissom: I had to go to the chief's funeral.
Catherine Willows: Missed me that much, huh?
Dr. Al Robbins: How about Darier Disease?
Gil Grissom: Doesn't that give आप a rash that smells like human excrement? We're looking for something a little sweeter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Tuberculosis victims emit breath that smells of wet leaves.
Gil Grissom: Maple? Ash? Elm? What?
Dr. Al Robbins: I don't know.
Gil Grissom: I'm following my nacino.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Fallen Idols (#7.17)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Men are never as mysterious as women wish they were.
Catherine Willows: [on seeing the crabs on the sleeping bag] Ugh.
Gil Grissom: आप okay?
[Catherine turns the monitor so that he can see the crabs]
Gil Grissom: Pthirus Pubis.
Catherine Willows: Yeah, crabs. I am buying Lindsey a chastity belt.
Gil Grissom: There's a... hole in the metal to let the urine pass, so theoretically, she could still get them.
Catherine Willows: आप are so creepy sometimes.
Sara Sidle: [about to shave Grissom's face] Do आप trust me?
Gil Grissom: Intimately.
[They wink at each other]
Warrick Brown: What's a फोटोग्राफी teacher doing touching a student's van?
Gil Grissom: [mock seriously] Maybe she wanted a ride.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Compulsion (#5.17)" (2005)
Dr. Al Robbins: She was raped... The attack was brutal.
Gil Grissom: Aren't they always? I don't know why people think that rape has anything to do with sex.
Dr. Al Robbins: If a guy just wants sex, he can hire a hooker.
Gil Grissom: Maybe he's back in the game again, selling कोक to out-of-town businessmen from the comfort and security of his hotel room.
Sara Sidle: So, he takes a break from his job, rapes and kills the vic at another hotel, and then goes back to work?
Gil Grissom: Even cokeheads need a diversion now and then.
Judge Witherspoon: It's one thing to send a print through AFIS, it's another thing to use a "background subtraction algorithm" to isolate the print from a bedspread.
Gil Grissom: It's not my fault that the courts lag behind our technology.
Gil Grissom: आप sniffed it?
[about evidence]
David Hodges: That disgust you?
Gil Grissom: No, actually, it's the first time you've ever done anything to impress me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Living Doll (#7.24)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: हे Natalie. My name's Gil. It's so nice to finally meet you. I-um, probably shouldn't say this, but I'm a huge fan. I've been a crime scene investigator for 22 years, and worked over 2,000 homicides, and आप are द्वारा far... the best I've ever seen. I mean, you're such a great artist. And to be so young, and so talented, and... so pretty. I've thought about आप every night for the last nine months. I even tried to do what आप do. I built my own miniature.
[Natalie nods her head]
Gil Grissom: आप saw it? How'd I do?
[Natalie shrugs]
Gil Grissom: आप play chess?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Gil Grissom: I play. It's a hobby. Quiets my mind, आप know? Soothes me. At one point I became so consumed द्वारा it, that whenever I closed my eyes I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd प्यार to play आप sometime. I'm so impressed द्वारा the way आप embraced your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. आप studied our crime scene so well, tracking the car to the junkyard, and then towing it all the way out to the desert where आप knew we wouldn't find it. And then, the way आप killed Sara.
Natalie: [shaking her head] I didn't kill her.
Gil Grissom: आप didn't?
Natalie: [Natalie shakes her head] This is about her. Her, her, her. It's always about her.
Gil Grissom: No, it isn't Natalie. It's about you.
Natalie: [Natalie cuts him off] It's always about her.
[she takes a blade from her mouth and slashes Grissom's throat and watches as he bleeds. Then in a baby voice]
Natalie: Oh sad was the दिन for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away, and found the सीट of the terrible ache. T'was a delicate task...
Gil Grissom: [not cut, for it was all in her imagination] Natalie listen to me. Tell me where she is.
Natalie: For none of the doctor's had ever before...
Gil Grissom: Natalie.
Natalie: ...performed on a dolly's inside...
Gil Grissom: Please tell me where Sara is.
Natalie: ...They tried to re-stuff her, but didn't know how, and this was her wail as she died...
Gil Grissom: [yelling] Stop it! Just stop this!
[shaking her]
Gil Grissom: Tell me where Sara is!
Natalie: ...I've got a pain in my sawdust. That's what's the matter with me.
[voice over, overturned car]
Natalie: Something is wrong on my little inside. I'm just as sick as can be. Don't let me faint, someone get a fan.
[a hand clawing at the ground from under the car]
Natalie: Someone please run for the medicine man. Everyone hurry as fast as आप can, 'cause I've got a pain in my sawdust.
Gil Grissom: My God. She was at the crime scene.
Nick Stokes: So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?
Warrick Brown: I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?
Catherine Willows: I don't know. This just feels different.
Gil Grissom: It is different.
[flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm]
Gil Grissom: This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me
[everyone looks confused]
Gil Grissom: I found a thriving miniature hobbyist community on-line. Sites where people meet, chat, exchange building tips, सूची stores they खरीडिए in.
Nick Stokes: [looking at the miniature of Grissom's office] So that's why आप built this thing? I mean... other then to creep us all out?
Gil Grissom: Somebody likes it cold.
Captain Jim Brass: Las Vegas in May plus global warming.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: No Humans Involved (#5.10)" (2004)
[Sofia thinks aloud]
Gil Grissom: She talks to herself.
Captain Jim Brass: It works for me.
Catherine Willows: Now tell me why आप really stopped by. आप checking up on me?
Gil Grissom: No.
Catherine Willows: What've आप heard? Who talked to you?
Gil Grissom: See? You've been on the job for a week and you're already paranoid.
Catherine Willows: Did आप ever play politics?
Gil Grissom: I once ran for president of the science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out द्वारा one vote.
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess that आप didn't vote for yourself.
Gil Grissom: I'm not any good at politics. And it's cost me. It's how I लॉस्ट Nick and Warrick.
Catherine Willows: Your loss was my gain.
Gil Grissom: Yeah. And at least they're in good hands.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Burked (#2.1)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's been 24 minutes, Greg. When's this thing going to be done?
Greg Sanders: Well, with all due respect, sir, it's not a baked potato.
Greg Sanders: Did I ever tell आप I used to live in New York?
Gil Grissom: Is this going to be a short story या a novel?
Gil Grissom: Would आप mind if I took a picture for my bite collection?
Walt Braun: Whatever rubs your Buddha.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Turn of the Screws (#4.21)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Albert, dead men don't ride roller coasters.
Gil Grissom: [after a rollercoaster has derailed] Photograph the scene. Bag and tag all the detritus. फोर्कलिफ्ट, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
Gil Grissom: Bag and tag the detritus. फोर्कलिफ्ट, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Leapin' Lizards (#7.22)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [laying in बिस्तर watching Godzilla together] I always feel sorry for the monster.
Gil Grissom: Then आप better turn it off before they use the oxygen destroyer on him.
Gil Grissom: Did आप know that pigs are very intelligent animals? Right behind chimps, dolphins, and elephants.
Warrick Brown: Ahead of dogs?
Gil Grissom: And certain politicians.
Gil Grissom: Do आप believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?
Sara Sidle: I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet; I just was in the barn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Big Shots (#7.19)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: [looking at a bullet casing] Fifty caliber, casing looks new. I bet it's from a Desert Eagle.
Hodges: या a coffee shop. I could drink an एस्प्रेसो out of that thing.
Greg Sanders: This neighborhood rains lead.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, and we have to process every last drop of it.
Greg Sanders: We're going to make Bobby Dawson's नाव payment this month.
Greg Sanders: Open champagne bottle, white powder residue. Think it's coke?
Gil Grissom: [shining his flashlight on brain matter and skull fragments] Well then that must be his brain on drugs.
Greg Sanders: Party till आप drop.
Gil Grissom: या get shot, which ever comes first.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Recipe for Murder (#3.11)" (2003)
[Grissom and Willows enter a restaurant to investigate the death of one of its chefs. The hostess stops answering a very busy phone and turns to them]
The Hostess: Hi, last name?
Gil Grissom: We don't have reservation. We're here...
The Hostess: [taking back the phone] Party of four? Three weeks from Thursday? Let me see...
Catherine Willows: Excuse me but आप don't understand...
The Hostess: [holding up the phone] No, I'm sorry आप don't understand. Your walk-in's in a very busy night. We're short a chef.
Catherine Willows: We know. He's dead.
Gil Grissom: Not only dead. Dismembered. We're with the crime lab.
The Hostess: [putting down the phone] I'll get the owner.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom to Willows, struggling to remove a dismembered hand caught in a meat grinder] I'm gonna need a hand.
Gil Grissom: [after identifying the रसोई, रसोईघर चाकू used to dismember a chef] "Let us carve him as a dish fit for the gods"
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess Shakespeare.
Gil Grissom: Julius Ceaser.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Iced (#5.23)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: [Grissom, Greg, and Sara investigate the death of two lovers] "For never was a story of और woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
Greg Sanders: Found a condom wrapper.
Gil Grissom: So much for सुरक्षित sex.
[Sara looks disturbed]
Gil Grissom: And this must be Mr. Billmeyer. I'm so glad he's back.
Conrad Ecklie: Very funny.
Gil Grissom: आप might want to have Hodges analyze that cigar. Oh, and the print tech is free. He could, ah, spray the party hat with ninhydrin.
Conrad Ecklie: I think I remember how to do my job, Gil, thank you.
Gil Grissom: I प्यार it when आप wear your gloves.
Greg Sanders: हे Grissom, when आप went to college did आप live in the dorms?
Gil Grissom: Surely, आप jest.
[Sara laughs]
Sara Sidle: आप know they say a BA is worth a million dollars of extra income over your life.
Gil Grissom: Yeah but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.
Greg Sanders: So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?
Gil Grissom: I guess it depends on what आप learn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Lust (#3.9)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: [to Warrick] What do आप weigh?
Warrick Brown: Uh, that's between me and my trainer.
Gil Grissom: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick Brown: A buck 95, give या take a doughnut.
[Grissom turns to Sara]
Sara Sidle: Don't even ask, I'm not telling you.
Gil Grissom: Warrick, would आप lie down on the floor.
Warrick Brown: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Gil Grissom: Please?
[Warrick gets on the floor]
Greg Sanders: I'm afraid I don't have time for your humour, Ecklie has a multiple, Warrick tells me his घर invasion is चोटी, शीर्ष of the heap and I'm still backed up with Catherine's no suspect rape. It's like one servant many masters, आप know what I'm saying?
Gil Grissom: Greg, this is your DNA lab. आप are the master. We serve you.
Greg Sanders: Your stuff just moved to the चोटी, शीर्ष of the pile.
Gil Grissom: हे Doc, tell me something I don't know.
Dr. Al Robbins: When I was in fourth grade, I dropped karate because some kid half my size made me cry.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Unfriendly Skies (#1.9)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: [the group is re-enacting a fight on a plane, and Grissom is giving everyone their roles] Catherine, आप will be playing Dr. Behrle.
Catherine Willows: Single mom. What an imagination आप have.
Gil Grissom: High altitude enhances the entire sexual experience. It increases the euphoria.
Sara Sidle: Well, it's good. I don't know if it's that good... Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: Would आप hand me a swab please?
Sara Sidle: You're avoiding the question. Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: A magazine.
Sara Sidle: What magazine?
Gil Grissom: "Applied psychodynamics in forensic science".
Sara Sidle: Never heard of it.
Gil Grissom: I'll get आप a subscription.
Gil Grissom: I need to see their shoes.
Catherine Willows: Why are आप asking me?
Gil Grissom: Cause you're the people person, right?
Catherine Willows: Why don't आप tell them that? They're not giving me bubkas.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bodies in Motion (#6.1)" (2005)
Officer Metcalf: My money's on meth lab.
Sara Sidle: आप know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook.
Officer Metcalf: आप guys are a real pain in the ass, आप know that?
Gil Grissom: Get used to it, pal.
Catherine Willows: So आप get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of a perverse game are आप playing here, Gil?
Gil Grissom: I'm not a pervert.
[last lines]
Archie Johnson: The tape was pretty mangled. Enhancement and noise cancellation increase intelligibility, but it alters timber and tone. So, I don't know there's any और I can do here. आप know, Nick recorded a message on the flip side of the tape. आप think maybe we should
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] No! This is between आप and me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Alter Boys (#2.6)" (2001)
Father Powell: He needs spiritual guidance.
[Grissom looks at the suspect, then looks at the dead body]
Gil Grissom: Yeah, I imagine he does.
Father Powell: Ah. Then you'd have no problem with my talking to him.
Gil Grissom: It's the 11th hour. I wouldn't expect anything less.
Father Powell: Eleventh hour?
Gil Grissom: When the reality of their actions set in, they usually turn to religion.
Father Powell: Can आप think of a better time?
Gil Grissom: We both have jobs that begin after the crime.
Father Powell: After the sin.
Gil Grissom: Some people would call that a career in futility.
Father Powell: Some call it a vocation.
Father Powell: आप don't believe?
Gil Grissom: In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live.
Father Powell: Even if they're handed down द्वारा God?
Gil Grissom: How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?
Father Powell: Fanaticism, not religion.
Gil Grissom: Semantics. They're still dead.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ending Happy (#7.21)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [after putting her hand in the water] Feels like bath water. It's gotta be ninety degrees. There's no way we're going to get an accurate TOD.
Gil Grissom: Places like this always keep their pools warm, it encourages the girls to swim topless. It's good for business.
[at Sara's look]
Gil Grissom: So they tell me.
Gil Grissom: Where's your coroner?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Couldn't get him on the horn. Probably out in some barn, up to his elbows in a cow's vagina.
Sara Sidle: Excuse me?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Oh yeah, coroner's a part time टमटम here in Bryant County. He's a veterinarian. That's his money gig.
Gil Grissom: Twenty-five people here last night, and nobody sees anything.
Tanya: [passing by] Nice hat honey.
Sara Sidle: So, uh, you've been to a place like this before?
Gil Grissom: I worked a murder/suicide at the Naughty Kitty once.
Sara Sidle: No, no. Come on, आप know what I mean.
Gil Grissom: As a customer? No.
Sara Sidle: You've never paid for sex?
Gil Grissom: I have not. I find the whole idea very... bleak.
Sara Sidle: Really? How come?
Gil Grissom: Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection, but paid sex does the opposite of that. To me, sex without प्यार is... pointless. It makes आप sad.
Sara Sidle: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make आप sad.
Gil Grissom: No. आप make me happy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Butterflied (#4.12)" (2004)
[to the Doctor/Suspect leaving]
Gil Grissom: It's sad isn't it, Doc? A couple of middle aged guys like us, how we never really touch people unless we're wearing latex gloves. We wake up one morning and realize that for 50 years we haven't really lived at all... But then one day, someone young and beautiful offers to share their life with you, someone आप can care about. We have to give up everything we worked for to have them, I couldn't do it... but आप did. And she took that back didn't she? She gave आप something precious then आप took it back. So yo
Gil Grissom: आप gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs.
Gil Grissom: I need आप to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood?
होल्ली, होली Gribbs: What for?
Gil Grissom: It's customary for all new hires.
होल्ली, होली Gribbs: Why?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons...
Warrick Brown: Where'd आप get the blood?
Gil Grissom: The new girl. Want to donate?
Warrick Brown: Hell, no.
[to a room full of dead corpses, after होल्ली, होली Gribbs was frightened into hysterics]
Gil Grissom: आप assholes!
Gil Grissom: Forget about your promotion Warrick, forget about making a hundred, forget about the husband, these things will only confuse you. Concentrate on what cannot lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: I know, गुलाबी Floyd's not your thing.
Gina Harmon: I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes आप think The Dark Side of the Moon synched to the Wizard of Oz is gonna warm my damn barn?
Gil Grissom: I just thought it'd be something different.
Gina Harmon: Wanna be different? Pin me up against a दीवार and lay one on me like आप mean it.
Gil Grissom: Concentrate on what doesn't lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: Every दिन we meet people on the worst दिन of their lives.
Gil Grissom: We look at each case objectively, without presupposition, regardless of sex, creed, color, या bubblegum flavor.
Gil Grissom: Pin आप against a wall?
होल्ली, होली Gribbs: [Upset after being locked in the morgue] There were bodies. I could feel them breathing.
Gil Grissom: [laughs] It's okay, Holly. It's alright.
[Yelling to the bodies]
Gil Grissom: आप assholes!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Secrets & Flies (#6.6)" (2005)
UnderSheriff McKeen: What are आप doing?
Gil Grissom: Circling blowflies.
UnderSheriff McKeen: Why?
Gil Grissom: 'Cause dead flies tell no lies.
[Grissom doesn't answer his phone]
Catherine Willows: Who do आप keep avoiding?
Gil Grissom: Ecklie.
Catherine Willows: Ah, that means आप should answer it.
Gil Grissom: No, he just wants to yell at me because I'm late with the personnel evaluations. It can wait.
Sofia Curtis: Grissom, Ecklie has been looking for you. Is your cell not working?
Gil Grissom: What are आप doing here?
Sofia Curtis: Well, apparently, I was a CSI, then a detective, but now I'm a messenger. You're needed at the lab ASAP.
Gil Grissom: Why?
Sofia Curtis: I have no idea. But the undersheriff's camped out in the break room.
Gil Grissom: The science in these textbooks is sound, but the tape is और than enough to get reasonable doubt.
Conrad Ecklie: Well, there's no doubt in my mind that Thayer worked his science to get the जवाब the defense needed.
Gil Grissom: I just finished your eval.
Catherine Willows: And?
Gil Grissom: In the टिप्पणियाँ section, I noted that if आप had my job, these evaluations wouldn't be late.
Catherine Willows: Thank you.
Catherine Willows: [about Thayer] The guy's an ass.
Gil Grissom: He used to be a competent scientist. We actually co-authored a paper together 10 years ago. I believe greed has gotten in his way.
Catherine Willows: Well, I've seen him on the stand. He manipulates evidence.
Gil Grissom: He manipulates people. The public assumes that scientists are ethical, but many of us are no better than politicians, evidently.
Catherine Willows: I don't know who killed Christina Adalian, I don't know how she got pregnant, and I don't know the identity of the baby's biological parents.
Gil Grissom: It's always good to know what आप don't know.
[Grissom walks in]
Henry Andrews: Why did the fly fly?
Gil Grissom: Because the मकड़ी spied her.
[pause]
Gil Grissom: Catherine's daughter told me that when she was three.
Mark Thayer: आप impugned my character.
Gil Grissom: What character?
Mark Thayer: This is all your fault.
Gil Grissom: I hope so.
[last lines]
UnderSheriff McKeen: So, Grissom, I'm not sure of your ambitions, but if you're interested in taking on और responsibility, maybe a promotion, I'd be glad to pass...
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] आप know, Oscar Wilde once said: "Ambition is the last refuge of failure." I'm fine. Thanks.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Sex, Lies and Larvae (#1.10)" (2000)
Captain Jim Brass: We ID'd the body and located the husband...
Gil Grissom: Let me guess - downtown, Freemont district?
Captain Jim Brass: आप know, I'm not even gonna ask.
Sara Sidle: What if... आप can hear the victim's screams? In the car, या at the store.
Gil Grissom: आप have empathy for her, Sara. आप want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] आप want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did आप just say what I think आप said?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams, आप can tell me it's nothing, it's just empathy.
Sara Sidle: What if... आप can hear the victim's screams. In the car, या at the store.
Gil Grissom: आप have empathy for her, Sara. आप want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] आप want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did आप just say what I think आप did?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams... आप can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
Scott Shelton: Like I said, I'd wrestle her off me, but I never, ever, laid a hand on her.
Sara Sidle: How 'bout a gun?
[glares at him]
Scott Shelton: [looks to Grissom]
[scoffs]
Scott Shelton: आप have your hands full with her.
Gil Grissom: So do you.
Gil Grissom: You've still got to convince a jury.
Sara Sidle: On bullets. It's got to be better than bugs.
[Grissom looks at her]
Sara Sidle: Less Latin.
Sara Sidle: You're the one who कहा one, piece of evidence is better than ten eyewitnesses.
Gil Grissom: What do आप tape everything I say?
[Sara shrugs]
Scott Shelton: [after Sara finds blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it "got there" was when आप shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountains!
[Points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face, bitch!
[He pushes her finger away, and she pushes him back]
Gil Grissom: Sara!
[Grissom pulls her back]
Sara Sidle: आप touch me again, आप draw back a stump!
Scott Shelton: Look at her.
Gil Grissom: Sara!
Captain Jim Brass: Can't आप control her?
Gil Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: I told आप she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: आप don't know a handful!
[Brass leaves with Scott Shelton]
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a *gun* and look how he treated me! I can only *imagine* how he treated his wife!
[walks away]
Captain Jim Brass: So, आप planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?
Gil Grissom: It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.
Captain Jim Brass: I thought your bugs never made mistakes.
Gil Grissom: They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket या clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight - -maybe tighter than I realized - -which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects.
Captain Jim Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Gil Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Captain Jim Brass: Well, let me ask आप this. आप killed a pig just for this?
Gil Grissom: This poor ham was already on its way to someone's क्रिस्मस रात का खाना table.
Captain Jim Brass: Wouldn't a rabbit be easier?
Gil Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah, I've been saying that since I was a rookie.
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when आप shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
[to Grissom]
Captain Jim Brass: Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told आप she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, आप don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when आप shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
Captain Jim Brass: [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told आप she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, आप don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Who Are You? (#1.6)" (2000)
[Eddie, Cath's ex is accused of rape]
Gil Grissom: What's the status?
Catherine Willows: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.
Gil Grissom: ...Vigorous.
Warrick Brown: She's trying to tell आप Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine Willows: Thank you, Warrick.
[a skeleton is found in a house foundation]
Gil Grissom: द्वारा law, you've got to disclose everything: three bedrooms, two baths and a skeleton.
Gil Grissom: So. How's the thing Catherine passed off to आप going?
Warrick Brown: What thing?
Gil Grissom: The thing with Eddie Willows?
Warrick Brown: Er, good.
Gil Grissom: आप called the DMV yet?
Warrick Brown: I was just about to.
Gil Grissom: Hmm. Warrick, why would आप call the DMV on a rape charge?
Warrick Brown: [looks at Catherine] If आप want me to suave anybody, I gotta know the shot.
Catherine Willows: I'm sorry. I didn't pass it off.
Gil Grissom: Really?
Catherine Willows: Got anything for me?
Gil Grissom: Yeah, but I can't give it to you. Conflict of interest.
Catherine Willows: Why?
Gil Grissom: The victim's an exotic dancer.
Catherine Willows: And because I used to *be* one, I'll be biased?
Gil Grissom: No. The suspect's your ex-husband.
Gil Grissom: आप bring in a specialist without consulting me?
Catherine Willows: What? And आप don't bring one in, possibly compromising the case because आप two had a relationship?
Gil Grissom: Relationship? I hardly know that woman.
Catherine Willows: Oh, so I guess that dopey look in your eye whenever she's around is just that.
Greg Sanders: It's not real sand. It's finely crushed granite.
Nick Stokes: What does that mean?
Gil Grissom: It means she wasn't killed in Hawaii. Other than that, he has no idea.
Teri Miller: It's not going to be easy, getting an impression off this.
Gil Grissom: They told me आप were the best forensic artist in the country.
Teri Miller: And Canada. I didn't say I couldn't do it.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: King Baby (#5.15)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Question. आप come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do आप do?
Greg Sanders: ...Is that a trick question?
Captain Jim Brass: Welcome to the party.
Catherine Willows: [to Grissom & Ecklie] What's going on? This is my scene.
Conrad Ecklie: High प्रोफ़ाइल case - woke up the supervisors. All hands on deck, Cath. Grissom's lead on this, he's the senior supervisor... I'm an administrator, I run interference for आप guys. Starting with the press.
Gil Grissom: It's nothing personal, Catherine. Cases like these rain down hard, आप need all the help आप can get.
Catherine Willows: I need help. Not supervision.
Gil Grissom: Count Basie कहा that it's the notes आप don't hear that matter.
Gil Grissom: I've enjoyed working with you.
Catherine Willows: Which part? The part where I got in your face या the part where I, uh, लॉस्ट evidence, or, uh, maybe आप just missed me?
Gil Grissom: I did miss you. I missed your passion and your tenacity. I even missed your tush.
Gil Grissom: It's only the truly powerful that have the luxury to relinquish power.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Where would आप go if आप had the connections and the cash to go anywhere आप wanted?
Captain Jim Brass: I hear Fiji's nice.
Gil Grissom: Eiger went further. He went all the way back to his childhood.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah. I think I'd take Fiji.
Gil Grissom: Well, howdy! I was wondering: Do आप carry adult diapers?
Madge: Oh, we sure do! What are you: About a 34 या a 36?
Gil Grissom: Well... they're not for me.
Madge: [she looks at Nick Stokes and smiles] Well, aren't आप lucky to have such a nice daddy?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Formalities (#5.7)" (2004)
[first lines]
[Grissom struggles to tie a bowtie]
Catherine Willows: What are आप doing?
Gil Grissom: I'm going insane. I don't understand this diagram.
Catherine Willows: आप don't need a diagram. आप need a woman.
[stands behind him and successfully ties the tie]
Catherine Willows: I'm looking आगे to your speech.
[Grissom's speech on a napkin]
Gil Grissom: What can I say about Conrad Ecklie?
Sofia Curtis: Sofia Curtis.
Gil Grissom: CSI-three, दिन shift. आप work for Ecklie.
Sofia Curtis: As of tonight, so do you.
[Grissom leaves the ballroom and comes to the hotel]
Officer Metcalf: Hey, Griss. What's with the monkey suit?
Gil Grissom: I was at a funeral across the street.
Officer Metcalf: At a casino? My condolences.
Gil Grissom: Do आप always process like this?
Sofia Curtis: Like what?
Gil Grissom: With your mouth.
[Sofia tells something to Grissom who isn't paying attention to her]
Sofia Curtis: [pause] That time I was talking to you.
Gil Grissom: Huh?
[turns to her]
Gil Grissom: Sorry. I was, uh, treating it like white noise.
Catherine Willows: Why are आप talking to yourself?
Gil Grissom: I'm trying a new technique.
Catherine Willows: Is it working?
Gil Grissom: I have no idea.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Way to Go (#6.24)" (2006)
Bobby Dawson: But, boss, I don't think that's your murder weapon?
Gil Grissom: And आप know this how?
Bobby Dawson: Uh, here, I'll let Hawkeye दिखाना you.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom looks in the barrel of the gun] What is that?
Bobby Dawson: Well, Hodges will have to कन्फर्म it but I'm pretty certain it's cream of wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer.
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle and pop!
[Nick is looking for a victim's severed head]
Gil Grissom: हे Nick!
Nick Stokes: Yeah?
Gil Grissom: I think I found a toupee. Our vic may be bald.
Nick Stokes: Thanks. That will help me distinguish it from the other severed heads I find out here.
Gil Grissom: [the camera focus is on Grissom] I don't know. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose. Never know that it's happening, like a crime scene. Surprise, your dead.
[the camera has slowly spins around to reveal Grissom is in a bedroom]
Gil Grissom: I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer actually, have some time to prepare.
[Grissom sighs]
Gil Grissom: Go back to the rain forest one और time, re-read 'Moby Dick.'
[the camera is now behind Grissom and focus on a room. A female steps out wearing a white silky bathrobe]
Gil Grissom: Possibly enter an international chess tournament.
[the female walks towards Grissom and the camera focus stays only on her body]
Gil Grissom: At least have enough time to say 'goodbye' to the ones that I love.
[the female sits besides him. It's Sara]
Sara Sidle: I'm not ready to say 'Goodbye.'
[Sara smiles at him. The camera focus switches to Grissom who smiles back]
Bobby Dawson: Hodges will have to verify this, but I believe that is Cream of Wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer?
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle, pop!
Greg Sanders: [about Brass]
[to Grissom]
Greg Sanders: Just between आप and me, does he always wear a suit?
Greg Sanders: Like when आप guys go to रात का खाना या the फिल्में या whatever it is when आप hang out.
Greg Sanders: Cause' I got to tell ya. The thought of him in a sweater, it freaks me out
Gil Grissom: We don't hang out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: No kidding, I just assumed
Gil Grissom: What do आप think?
Sara Sidle: I think I feel fat.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lady Heather's Box (#3.15)" (2003)
[at Lady Heather's front door]
Gil Grissom: I'd like to come in.
Lady Heather: I'm sure आप do. Say the magic word.
Captain Jim Brass: Warrant.
Gil Grissom: I owe आप an apology.
Lady Heather: Apologies are just words.
Captain Jim Brass: We are going back to Lady Heather's.
Gil Grissom: I can take care of this myself.
Captain Jim Brass: Gil, do me a favor. Get a sport car. It's a lot cheaper and easier to handle.
Lady Heather: Unfortunately the language we speak in here doesn't necessarily translate to the world out there.
Gil Grissom: No, in here, the submissive has the power... all he has to do is say the safety word and everything stops.
Lady Heather: Very good, Mr. Grissom.
Gil Grissom: I'm just repeating what I've heard.
Lady Heather: You're a good listener.
Gil Grissom: Part of the job.
Lady Heather: So, this is work?
Gil Grissom: Yes, but I value your insight.
Lady Heather: I'm flattered... but आप already seem to know the जवाब to your questions. आप keep me in proximity when I walk away
[she moves closer to him]
Lady Heather: and when I'm close आप watch my lips. Are आप losing your hearing?
Gil Grissom: I'm losing my balance.
Lady Heather: Your sense of self?
Gil Grissom: No, I know who I am.
Lady Heather: Do you?
Gil Grissom: Yes... I do.
[he touches one side of her cheek with one hand then the other with his other hand]
Gil Grissom: आप can always say "stop".
Lady Heather: So can you.
Gil Grissom: There's seminal fluid all over the place.
Sara Sidle: Is this a dance club या a sex club?
Warrick Brown: A little of both. Don't आप प्यार this town?
Sara Sidle: Whatever आप say, Superfly.
Lady Heather: Do आप like my lipstick?
Gil Grissom: Why?
Lady Heather: You've been staring at my lips.
Gil Grissom: आप have very lovely lips.
[Brass looks back between the two and then goes back to processing]
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Viva Las Vegas (#5.1)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: This is your proficiency test, Greg. आप might want to work the scene.
Gil Grissom: What's this blue stuff on the slide and the grip?
[pause]
Gil Grissom: It's okay to say आप don't know, Greg. That's why we have a trace lab.
[Greg is introducing his replacement, Chandra, to the lab]
Gil Grissom: Did आप get her blood yet?
Chandra Moore: What for?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons.
Gil Grissom: Hey, Grissom आप got something stuck on your shoe.
Gil Grissom: [looks]
Captain Jim Brass: Oh, no; it's just Sanders.
Greg Sanders: Duct tape. So the shooter stuck the gun in the toilet earlier to avoid the metal detector.
Gil Grissom: Echoes of Michael Corleone.
Greg Sanders: I can tell आप that the toilets in the club had blue water.
Gil Grissom: आप inspected the toilet bowls for evidence?
Greg Sanders: Well, when आप got to go, आप got to go.
Gil Grissom: At a crime scene, Greg?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Grave Danger: Volume 2 (#5.25)" (2005)
[Nick is being taken to the hospital, with Catherine and Warrick accompanying him. Ecklie and Grissom watch the रोगी वाहन, एम्बुलेंस leave]
Gil Grissom: I want my guys back.
[Nick is lying in the coffin]
Gil Grissom: Pancho! Listen to me. Put your hand on my hand. Good. Now listen. There may be explosives under the box.
Nick Stokes: [in the coffin; saying good bye to his family and friends; speaking to Grissom] I disappointed you.
Gil Grissom: [at the lab watching the video] No आप never did, Nick.
Nick Stokes: [Nick is seen on video feed saying something unheard, possible "I never meant to disappoint you."]
Gil Grissom: आप never did, Nicky.
Gil Grissom: Alright, Poncho, we're gonna open the lid and get आप out, but I need आप to stay lying dowm. Okay? या else you'll blow us all up. आप understand that?
Nick Stokes: Yeah, yeah.
Gil Grissom: Do आप promise, Poncho?
[Nick nods]
Gil Grissom: Say I promise.
Nick Stokes: [crying] I promise.
[first lines]
[paramedic checks Grissom after explosion]
Paramedic: Pupils are even.
Gil Grissom: [to himself] He blew himself up and left us with nothing.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Pledging Mr. Johnson (#1.4)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: Now tell me, why are we here?
Gil Grissom: Because this is the only place within 10 miles of Caulville खाड़ी, बे that serves Calamari.
Catherine Willows: And आप know this because...?
Gil Grissom: I come here for calamari.
Catherine Willows: Alone?
Gil Grissom: No. Sometimes I have a बीयर, बियर with it.
Catherine Willows: You're right, आप know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil Grissom: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine Willows: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?
[after a huge argument]
Gil Grissom: Look, could we have a truce?
Catherine Willows: I would प्यार to.
Gil Grissom: I think आप scared him, all his hairs are standing up.
Gil Grissom: So, was the नाव at the marina?
Catherine Willows: What do आप think?
Gil Grissom: My मकड़ी sense says it wasn't.
Gil Grissom: [to Sanders] Keep thinking Butch, that's what you're good at.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Primum Non Nocere (#2.16)" (2002)
[Gil and Catherine are investigating the bedroom of a stockbroker who was killed playing hockey]
Catherine Willows: It's never a good sign when a guy has और women than chairs.
Gil Grissom: What's the ratio here?
Catherine Willows: Judging from these stains, I'd say four women for every piece of furniture including the TV. At least we know what this guy was about - bucks, pucks and... chicks.
[upon discovering massive amounts of weapons present at a hockey game]
Gil Grissom: It looks like these guys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
Gil Grissom: There are three things people प्यार to stare at: A rippling stream, a sunset, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Sara Sidle: Charlie Brown... I प्यार a Zamboni.
Sara Sidle: Since when are आप interested in beauty?
Gil Grissom: Since I met you.
Dr. Al Robbins: What is it about organized sports?
Gil Grissom: Well, organized sports is the paradigmatic model of a just society... Everyone knows the same language, everyone knows the rules, and there's a specific punishment handed out the moment someone tries to cheat. It's instant morality.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Weeping Willows (#5.22)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Did आप hear the one about the cop and the monkey who walk into a bar?
Catherine Willows: I'm not in the mood.
Gil Grissom: Neither was the monkey.
Gil Grissom: This is a .25 caliber.
Dr. Al Robbins: What, disappointed?
Gil Grissom: We found a .22 in the victim's car. This just ruled that out as the murder weapon.
Dr. Al Robbins: So shoot me.
David Hodges: The metallic balls would've been released into the air during the welding process.
Gil Grissom: So you're saying our killer has metal balls?
David Hodges: Yes. Maybe. Turns out that the victim worked in a car dealership, so she could've gotten metal balls on the job. And just in case you're wondering, working here, I'm developing them too.
[Grissom smirks]
[last lines]
Catherine Willows: Gil. I'd ask आप out for a drink, but under the circumstances, it's, ah...
[Grissom ignores her]
Catherine Willows: OK, how long is this going to go on?
Gil Grissom: I don't know, Catherine.
Catherine Willows: Gil, it was an act of omission.
Gil Grissom: How many times have we heard a public defender say that?
Catherine Willows: I went out after work. Is it a crime to want a little human contact?
Gil Grissom: I guess that's why I don't go out.
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine Willows regarding the possibility of her private life being scrutinized in an investigation] We all live in glass houses, just be careful where आप take your shower.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Committed (#5.21)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Crazy या not, here we come.
Gil Grissom: Sex is the foreplay, violence is the climax.
Sara Sidle: When my father died, my mother came to a place like this for a while for evaluation.
[pause]
Sara Sidle: It looked the same, it smelled the same. It smelled like lies.
Gil Grissom: आप sure you're OK?
Sara Sidle: Crazy people do make me feel crazy.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Well, jail या no jail - I don't think she'll last six months. She'll die without her son.
Sara Sidle: That would be better for both of them.
Dr. Al Robbins: Let's start with the stomach contents. They're fascinating. They reminded me of that scene in Jaws where Dreyfuss cuts open the sharks belly and all sorts of weird things come out?
Gil Grissom: आप found a license plate?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: तालिका, टेबल Stakes (#1.15)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: Have आप got the DNA results from the fingernail Catherine found?
Greg Sanders: Yeah. They're not a match to Patrick Haynes.
Gil Grissom: I never figured a man for the fingernail, Greg.
Greg Sanders: But this is where आप break out the can of creep repellent. Half of the DNA markers are in common.
Gil Grissom: A possible first degree relative?
Gil Grissom: OK, I'm starting to forgive you.
Gil Grissom: The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And now the Lord arranged for a मछली to निगलना, निगल, निगल संकलन up Jonah. आप know what the problem with these piranhas is? They got high cholesterol. मछली don't have cholesterol. Humans do. So how did these मछली acquire human cholesterol?
Catherine Willows: What's with the smile?
Gil Grissom: They're playing our song.
Catherine Willows: Caught in the act.
Gil Grissom: I think that was the point.
Catherine Willows: Oh, yeah.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Chaos Theory (#2.2)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: We told them what happened.
Catherine Willows: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed - closure.
Gil Grissom: Truth brings closure.
Catherine Willows: Not always.
Gil Grissom: They have this system in place when आप went to school here?
Warrick Brown: With all the stuff me and my boys got away with, it's probably why they have them now.
Gil Grissom: आप showered.
Catherine Willows: Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant.
Gil Grissom: [studying a surveillance tape and inadvertently blocking Cath's view] Can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like?
Catherine Willows: A five-foot-eleven workaholic.
Warrick Brown: Where have आप been?
Gil Grissom: I can't be everywhere, and they've banned human cloning.
Gil Grissom: People just don't vanish, Jim. It's a molecular impossibility.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Harvest (#5.3)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Nick. आप failed your firearm qualifications. आप can't be here.
Nick Stokes: Oh yeah, well, I'm takin' it again, दिन after tomorrow. So I figured I could work.
Gil Grissom: Not in the field.
Nick Stokes: You're serious?
Gil Grissom: You're in violation just carrying a weapon.
Catherine Willows: [to Gil] Have आप been to bed?
Gil Grissom: Yes.
Catherine Willows: Did आप sleep?
[pauses]
Catherine Willows: Me neither. She was the same age as Lindsey. She was trying to hitchhike.
Gil Grissom: Where was she going?
Catherine Willows: Fremont Street.
Gil Grissom: Was she buying drugs?
Catherine Willows: No! She's twelve. She's... just so angry. She doesn't talk to me.
Gil Grissom: Well, if enough people knew what was out there hunting them, they'd never leave their house. I think आप need to sit her down.
Catherine Willows: Well, I don't want to scare her. I don't want my daughter to be this... frightened, paranoid kid who's always looking over her shoulder.
Gil Grissom: Catherine, there's a big difference between scaring her and preparing her. And all the reasons why आप should are in that room.
Gil Grissom: [to Sybil] Did आप injure yourself, Mrs. Perez?
Sybil Perez: [looks down and sees a bloodstain on her shirt] Oh, a nosebleed.
Gil Grissom: That's a lot of blood. I'm going to need to take your shirt.
Sybil Perez: Why?
Gil Grissom: If आप like, I can have someone follow आप घर so that आप can change.
Sybil Perez: आप think we had something to do with it? Our daughter is missing. She's out there somewhere alone and scared. What are आप doing about that?
Gil Grissom: I'm just collecting evidence.
Sybil Perez: Fine. Here!
[removes her कमीज, शर्ट and throws it at Grissom]
Sybil Perez: Take it! Go find her!
Gil Grissom: Alicia's cause of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: Cardiopulmonary arrest.
Gil Grissom: Time of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: That's a little trickier. No solids in the stomach contents, just a milky liquid. Liver mortis was fixed and deep purple with a vitreous humor potassium level of 20 millimoles per liter with faint putrefaction. So, I'd say she's been dead about... 44 hours between midnight and 8:00 A.M., the दिन of her kidnapping.
Gil Grissom: Which means April Perez was lying about the abduction.
Dr. Al Robbins: Yep. Story's got और holes than her sister's bones.
Daniel Perez: [to Grissomm in a church] I didn't realize until... today... how lucky I am. I know pretty much... how and when I'm gonna die. Most people don't. It's what they're afraid of.
Gil Grissom: Was your sister afraid?
Daniel Perez: Never. I'm 11 years older than her, and she took care of me. She was my best friend, and I miss her. As much pain as... I caused her... and she wouldn't give up, and she... she wouldn't let me, either. That's why... during the last relapse, I made my parents swear that it was the very last time.
Gil Grissom: But then your kidneys failed, and they broke their word, huh?
Daniel Perez: They told me they... swore not to fight the cancer, so this didn't count. I wasn't gonna lose this fight. I couldn't watch her suffer anymore.
Gil Grissom: This wasn't a mercy killing, Daniel. This was an execution. Bone marrow, transfusions... that's her blood in your veins. It dripped out of your nose onto the blanket while आप were killing her. If आप cared so much for Alicia, why didn't आप take your own life instead of hers?
Daniel Perez: Suicide isn't an option. It's an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God.
Gil Grissom: But आप believe that your god forgives murder? If that's your defense, it won't keep आप out of jail.
Daniel Perez: [in tears, crying] But my death will. See, I've got about six और months. I'll be dead before there's even a trial. I-I do want to thank you, though.
Gil Grissom: For what?
Gil Grissom: For speaking for Alicia. You're probably the first person in her life to think only of her. आप know, आप may not believe in God, sir, but आप do his work.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lab Rats (#7.20)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Can आप smell that?
Dr. Al Robbins: Yes.
Gil Grissom: आप shouldn't be able to smell that though your suit.
Dr. Al Robbins: Good to know.
Gil Grissom: It's just a चूहा fellas, why आप wearing the hazmat gear?
David Phillips: He made me do it.
Dr. Al Robbins: It's a wild animal covered with potentially biohazardous material, with claws. Rabies, scabies, AIDS, hepatitis, I'm thinking of this suit as a giant rubber glove.
Gil Grissom: Did आप know that rodents have skeletons with flexible joints?
Dr. Al Robbins: No.
Gil Grissom: If they can get their head through something, the rest of their body can contort to fit. They can crawl into spaces as small as a quarter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Lousy varmints.
[on seeing the fried rat, Doc laughs]
Dr. Al Robbins: Bastard hit the main line.
Dr. Al Robbins: [sarcastically] Nice work.
Gil Grissom: At least I tried to get him... Where were you?
Dr. Al Robbins: I *hate* rats.
Gil Grissom: Why are आप guys wearing hazmat suits?
David Phillips: He made me!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: बिल्ली in the Cradle... (#2.20)" (2002)
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk in on Greg listening to loud music] Could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: [music stops] There's still time, Greg.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah - and I absorbed it.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was *my* line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
[after witnessing a child ignoring her mother]
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine] My mother may have been deaf but she was still the boss.
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk into Greg's lab to see him rocking out to blaring rock and roll music] I could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: There's still time, Greg. Tell us about the foreign substance we found in the vic's wound track.
Greg Sanders: Uh, well, I like to rub it all over a lady's body. Even better... I, uh... like it when she rubs it all over me. And it's also used as a स्टूल, मल softner.
Catherine Willows: It's also the only open lead in our case. Spit it out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: Mineral oil.
Gil Grissom: Possibly used as a preservative to prevent rusting of high-carbon steel.
Catherine Willows: Like the blades of knives.
Greg Sanders: Old knives. New ones are made from stainless steel. Yeah, I'm like a sponge. I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
Catherine Willows: Okay, so... knives, screwdrivers, ice pick, letter opener. We're looking for a weapon with a splash of mineral oil. I'll grab the ALS.
Greg Sanders: An ALS. For mineral oil?
Gil Grissom: Mineral oil fluoresces at 525 nanometers when filtered through a kv590. A little और absorbing... a little less rock and roll.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: फ्रेंड्स & प्रेमी (#1.5)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: Teenage wasteland.
Warrick Brown: Who?
Gil Grissom: Yeah!
Gil Grissom: Someone chased this kid to death.
Gil Grissom: [to Ethan] Let me tell आप something, Humbert. You're twice the age of these kids, and half of them couldn't find their own नितंब, गधा with a map. आप prey on innocent children, concocting God-knows-what from God-knows-where, selling Russian Roulette in a bottle and आप think we came all the way out here to bust आप for possession, आप dumb punk? I'm gonna get आप for murder. Cool?
Warrick Brown: Where are आप going?
Gil Grissom: Away.
[Rides a rollercoaster alone]
Gil Grissom: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane अगला to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet, there'd be this tiny brown मकड़ी fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the अगला day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the अगला day, and what do आप think happened to the spider?
Warrick Brown: Dead.
Gil Grissom: On his back, eight legs in the air. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then I realized where we stand. I understood our role. We don't impose our will. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Nesting गुड़िया (#5.13)" (2005)
Sara Sidle: [Sara and Grissom sit facing each other. The light from the setting sun filters through the darkening room] It's funny... the things that आप remember and the things that आप don't, आप know. There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts. I remember the woman who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name, which is strange, आप know, 'cause I couldn't let go of her hand.
Grissom: Well... the mind has its filters.
Sara Sidle: I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. Do आप think there's a murder gene?
Grissom: I don't believe that genes are a predictor of violent behavior.
Sara Sidle: आप wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't.
[Sara starts to cry. Grissom reaches out and holds her hand]
[last lines]
Grissom: [about Sara] She's a great criminalist, Conrad. And I need her.
Conrad Ecklie: I'm sure आप do. आप know what? She's a loose तोप with a gun. And she's all yours.
[Grissom comes to Sara's residence]
Sara Sidle: Well, if you're here, it can't be good... Can I get आप anything?
Grissom: Sure. An explanation.
Grissom: It's from The Big Chill. One of the characters explaining a basic fact of life - that rationalizations are और important to us than sex even.
Conrad Ecklie: I thought I was clear.
Grissom: आप were. Now let me be clear. Sara's behavior is a direct result of my management.
Conrad Ecklie: So I should आग you.
Grissom: But आप won't.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Evaluation दिन (#1.22)" (2001)
[Warrick and Grissom are on a roller coaster]
Warrick Brown: What happened to my evaluation?
Gil Grissom: You're sitting on it.
Gil Grissom: [to a waiter] Excuse me, do आप recognize this ear?
[about a decapitation case]
Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: आप think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: Scared of you.
Gil Grissom: Repeat after me. Silk, silk, silk.
Nick Stokes: Silk, silk, silk.
Gil Grissom: What do cows drink?
Nick Stokes: Milk.
Gil Grissom: Cows drink water. They give milk.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: 4x4 (#5.19)" (2005)
Captain Jim Brass: Let me get this straight, Larry. An old man refuses to let आप steal his money, so आप jack a Hummer and try to run over his टैको, taco stand?
Lawrence Lafontaine: Maybe.
Gil Grissom: I think this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Tough shift, huh?
Nick Stokes: Just another दिन in paradise.
Judy Tremont: [answering the phone] Crime Lab. How can we help you?
[first lines]
Officer Metcalf: This is the best टैको, taco I ever had.
Gil Grissom: I'm happy for आप both.
Captain Jim Brass: What, did आप piss off Ecklie again? This is a hit and run. I was expecting Greg Sanders.
Gil Grissom: We're slammed. Everybody's on a case.
Greg Sanders: This is just like that Edgar Allan Poe story where the victim's दिल under the floorboards betrays the murder.
Gil Grissom: "The Tell-Tale Heart". I thought आप didn't like पढ़ना the classics.
Greg Sanders: I do when they're about dismembered bodies.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: To Halve and to Hold (#1.14)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's interesting to me how आप always expect the worst.
Catherine Willows: आप see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised.
[Grissom was licking rocks to see if they're bones]
Gil Grissom: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine Willows: Well, do आप want to suck on it? To be sure?
Gil Grissom: Did आप know there are 206 बोन्स in the human body?
Catherine Willows: Yes professor. I too took osteology.
Catherine Willows: So, are आप thinking what I'm thinking?
Gil Grissom: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine Willows: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Snuff (#3.8)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: No bug spray!
Gil Grissom: Where's your crockpot, doc?
Teri Miller: I see you're learning to cook for yourself.
Gil Grissom: Well I had to, Teri, I heard आप were married.
Gil Grissom: द्वारा the way, the definition of the word retard is to hinder या to hold someone back. I think your life is about to become retarded.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Down the Drain (#5.2)" (2004)
Greg Sanders: What are आप doing?
Gil Grissom: Good, your here.
[tosses him a plastic cup]
Gil Grissom: Fill this up for me, will ya.
Greg Sanders: With what?
Gil Grissom: It's a urine specimen cup, Greg, what do आप think?
Greg Sanders: [looks at the cup again]
[pauses]
Greg Sanders: Okay.
Sara Sidle: I don't have a death wish, and I'm not a drunk. In case आप were worried.
Gil Grissom: I'm not worried. I'm concerned.
Gil Grissom: That took a long time. आप may need a prostate exam.
Greg Sanders: My prostate is just fine!
[Greg's first autopsy]
Gil Grissom: Take a look at the trachea. What do आप see?
Greg Sanders: Foam... like the head of a beer.
[Grissom looks at him]
Greg Sanders: Sorry.
Gil Grissom: No. It's a good analogy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bully for आप (#2.4)" (2001)
Warrick Brown: I thought it was our job to speak for the victim no matter what it took... and to hell with the budgets.
Gil Grissom: Our job is to think, Warrick. Machinery should never matter और than our mind.
[investigating a murder in high school]
Warrick Brown: What were you: a jock या a brain?
Gil Grissom: I was a ghost.
Gil Grissom: Let me guess. Decomp in an enclosed space? Lemons.
Gil Grissom: Sara, do आप have any duct tape in your kit?
Sara Sidle: Yeah. It's what I use to hold it together.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Drops (#1.7)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: How's the little girl?
Sara Sidle: Uh, well, the *shrink* कहा she's in a catatonic state as a result of trauma. *I* could have told आप that. Oh, but she *did* respond to the name Buffalo.
Gil Grissom: Respond how?
Sara Sidle: She freaked out.
Gil Grissom: And, what are doing about that now?
Sara Sidle: Going back to the girl. She's out in the car. The windows are cracked. Hey, give me a little credit, she's at the hospital.
Gil Grissom: This is a Lady Macbeth. "Out, out damn spot!". There's not a trace of blood on the teen daughter's clothing. Not a spot!
Tina Collins: That was the last night he was going to touch her.
Gil Grissom: But why your mother? Why your brothers?
Tina Collins: Because they should have protected me.
Gil Grissom: You?
Tina Collins: I was young. I learned to deal. But when he went after my daughter.
Gil Grissom: Daughter? Who's...
Tina Collins: The father? I was 13 and nobody noticed that my clothes were getting bigger.
Conrad Ecklie: That's a career killer.
Gil Grissom: That's what's so sad, Conrad. आप see this as a career.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Rashomama (#6.21)" (2006)
Hodges: आप know, आप and me, we're not the marrying kind. The intricacies of our nature can never be understood द्वारा just one woman.
Gil Grissom: Would आप close the door, please?
[Hodges does so]
Gil Grissom: From the other side.
Gil Grissom: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." Spring is but a song/Where प्यार and laughter are not wrong/The blossoms of desire do belong/And Harmonia axyridus fly along.
Frank Rosetti: आप want to see a crime scene? I'll दिखाना आप a crime scene. C'mere, c'mere, look at this, huh?
[shows a smashed wedding cake]
Frank Rosetti: What this woman had against the color peach, I've never seen anything like it. "If आप think you're serving that flesh-colored abomination and I'm paying for it, आप can think again!" Boom! I'm a 42-year-old paisan; she scared me. I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her, tied themselves to the car, the dame was a pill. I swear to God, she may have taken two या three years off my own life. Weddings are a blood, sweat and tears marathon, my friend. I'm on a tight schedule. 12 noon: I got first intro of the couple. 12:30: सलाद course. 12:45: first dance. 1 o'clock: chair dance, chicken dance, झाड़ू dance - I don't care, I'm equal-opportunity. 1:30: main course. 2:15: first toast, groom's side. If the best man shuts his mouth, at 2:16 we have the first टोस्ट of the bride's side. 3 o'clock: we cut the cake. 3:30: bouquet toss.
Gil Grissom: That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
Frank Rosetti: I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing.
Greg Sanders: He was kidding about the diapers, right?
Jill Shoemaker: For the past six months she made my life Hell, and so I told anyone who would listen that she should die a fiery death. So now everyone's going to think that I killed her.
Gil Grissom: Would आप like to be और specific?
Jill Shoemaker: Okay, well, when we got engaged, she ran into the backyard and she screamed "Why, God, why me?" Okay, she wore white today! She, she, she invited Adam's very, very attractive, very, um, single ex-girlfriends. When she found out I had registered for sporting goods, she went behind my back and she changed the registry to housewares saying I had better learn how to cook! Okay, I'm a vegetarian, and she demanded roast beef! Um, oh and then there's the toast... the toast!
Gil Grissom: Are आप trying to make me think that आप didn't kill her?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: फर and Loathing (#4.5)" (2003)
[after finding traces of semen on Bud Simmons' cat costume]
Catherine Willows: Okay, well, I've heard of some guys getting off in some weird ways, but humping an animal suit? Whatever happened to normal sex?
Gil Grissom: What is normal sex?
Catherine Willows: So आप think it's natural for a grown man to only be intimate with a talking animal?
Gil Grissom: Well, Freud कहा that the only unusual sexual behavior was to have none at all. And after that, it was only a matter of opportunity and preference. And evidently, some people prefer the feel of फर to the texture of human skin.
Catherine Willows: Well, I like hairy chests, but I'm not about to bop a six-foot weasel.
Gil Grissom: Whoa, this is incredibly detailed. Eyelashes, nostrils...
Catherine Willows: Oh yeah, that's what आप see out of. I once dated the Detroit Lions Mascot. Off season. Dutch was his name.
Gil Grissom: The breadth of your social experience never ceases to impress me.
Gil Grissom: Most mammals only copulate seasonally.
Catherine Willows: How boring.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Slaves of Las Vegas (#2.8)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: You're very good. आप could work for me.
Lady Heather: आप want to be my boss?
Gil Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence.
Catherine Willows: Do आप get these haikus out of a book, या do they just come to you?
Catherine Willows: I just realized that आप and I have a very healthy relationship.
Gil Grissom: We do?
Catherine Willows: When we have a problem, I don't paint Greg in latex and stick a straw up his nose.
Gil Grissom: Good. He'd probably like it.
Catherine Willows: You're supposed to say something revealing back to me.
Gil Grissom: Okay. I never told anyone this, Catherine.
[screen fades to black]
Gil Grissom: I notice आप have no चित्रो of your family in your office.
Eileen Nelson: I know what they look like.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Cross-Jurisdictions (#2.22)" (2002)
[Catherine returns to Vegas from Miami]
Catherine Willows: Hello.
Gil Grissom: Hey. Nice tan.
Catherine Willows: Nice suit.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, well, I knew आप were coming back today, so I dressed up.
Catherine Willows: Yeah... right...
Gil Grissom: Really.
[Cath looks him up and down]
Gil Grissom: What?
Catherine Willows: Nothing. It's just unusual to... see आप dressed... like that.
Gil Grissom: I had to go to the chief's funeral.
Catherine Willows: Missed me that much, huh?
Dr. Al Robbins: How about Darier Disease?
Gil Grissom: Doesn't that give आप a rash that smells like human excrement? We're looking for something a little sweeter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Tuberculosis victims emit breath that smells of wet leaves.
Gil Grissom: Maple? Ash? Elm? What?
Dr. Al Robbins: I don't know.
Gil Grissom: I'm following my nacino.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Fallen Idols (#7.17)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Men are never as mysterious as women wish they were.
Catherine Willows: [on seeing the crabs on the sleeping bag] Ugh.
Gil Grissom: आप okay?
[Catherine turns the monitor so that he can see the crabs]
Gil Grissom: Pthirus Pubis.
Catherine Willows: Yeah, crabs. I am buying Lindsey a chastity belt.
Gil Grissom: There's a... hole in the metal to let the urine pass, so theoretically, she could still get them.
Catherine Willows: आप are so creepy sometimes.
Sara Sidle: [about to shave Grissom's face] Do आप trust me?
Gil Grissom: Intimately.
[They wink at each other]
Warrick Brown: What's a फोटोग्राफी teacher doing touching a student's van?
Gil Grissom: [mock seriously] Maybe she wanted a ride.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Compulsion (#5.17)" (2005)
Dr. Al Robbins: She was raped... The attack was brutal.
Gil Grissom: Aren't they always? I don't know why people think that rape has anything to do with sex.
Dr. Al Robbins: If a guy just wants sex, he can hire a hooker.
Gil Grissom: Maybe he's back in the game again, selling कोक to out-of-town businessmen from the comfort and security of his hotel room.
Sara Sidle: So, he takes a break from his job, rapes and kills the vic at another hotel, and then goes back to work?
Gil Grissom: Even cokeheads need a diversion now and then.
Judge Witherspoon: It's one thing to send a print through AFIS, it's another thing to use a "background subtraction algorithm" to isolate the print from a bedspread.
Gil Grissom: It's not my fault that the courts lag behind our technology.
Gil Grissom: आप sniffed it?
[about evidence]
David Hodges: That disgust you?
Gil Grissom: No, actually, it's the first time you've ever done anything to impress me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Living Doll (#7.24)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: हे Natalie. My name's Gil. It's so nice to finally meet you. I-um, probably shouldn't say this, but I'm a huge fan. I've been a crime scene investigator for 22 years, and worked over 2,000 homicides, and आप are द्वारा far... the best I've ever seen. I mean, you're such a great artist. And to be so young, and so talented, and... so pretty. I've thought about आप every night for the last nine months. I even tried to do what आप do. I built my own miniature.
[Natalie nods her head]
Gil Grissom: आप saw it? How'd I do?
[Natalie shrugs]
Gil Grissom: आप play chess?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Gil Grissom: I play. It's a hobby. Quiets my mind, आप know? Soothes me. At one point I became so consumed द्वारा it, that whenever I closed my eyes I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd प्यार to play आप sometime. I'm so impressed द्वारा the way आप embraced your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. आप studied our crime scene so well, tracking the car to the junkyard, and then towing it all the way out to the desert where आप knew we wouldn't find it. And then, the way आप killed Sara.
Natalie: [shaking her head] I didn't kill her.
Gil Grissom: आप didn't?
Natalie: [Natalie shakes her head] This is about her. Her, her, her. It's always about her.
Gil Grissom: No, it isn't Natalie. It's about you.
Natalie: [Natalie cuts him off] It's always about her.
[she takes a blade from her mouth and slashes Grissom's throat and watches as he bleeds. Then in a baby voice]
Natalie: Oh sad was the दिन for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away, and found the सीट of the terrible ache. T'was a delicate task...
Gil Grissom: [not cut, for it was all in her imagination] Natalie listen to me. Tell me where she is.
Natalie: For none of the doctor's had ever before...
Gil Grissom: Natalie.
Natalie: ...performed on a dolly's inside...
Gil Grissom: Please tell me where Sara is.
Natalie: ...They tried to re-stuff her, but didn't know how, and this was her wail as she died...
Gil Grissom: [yelling] Stop it! Just stop this!
[shaking her]
Gil Grissom: Tell me where Sara is!
Natalie: ...I've got a pain in my sawdust. That's what's the matter with me.
[voice over, overturned car]
Natalie: Something is wrong on my little inside. I'm just as sick as can be. Don't let me faint, someone get a fan.
[a hand clawing at the ground from under the car]
Natalie: Someone please run for the medicine man. Everyone hurry as fast as आप can, 'cause I've got a pain in my sawdust.
Gil Grissom: My God. She was at the crime scene.
Nick Stokes: So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?
Warrick Brown: I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?
Catherine Willows: I don't know. This just feels different.
Gil Grissom: It is different.
[flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm]
Gil Grissom: This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me
[everyone looks confused]
Gil Grissom: I found a thriving miniature hobbyist community on-line. Sites where people meet, chat, exchange building tips, सूची stores they खरीडिए in.
Nick Stokes: [looking at the miniature of Grissom's office] So that's why आप built this thing? I mean... other then to creep us all out?
Gil Grissom: Somebody likes it cold.
Captain Jim Brass: Las Vegas in May plus global warming.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: No Humans Involved (#5.10)" (2004)
[Sofia thinks aloud]
Gil Grissom: She talks to herself.
Captain Jim Brass: It works for me.
Catherine Willows: Now tell me why आप really stopped by. आप checking up on me?
Gil Grissom: No.
Catherine Willows: What've आप heard? Who talked to you?
Gil Grissom: See? You've been on the job for a week and you're already paranoid.
Catherine Willows: Did आप ever play politics?
Gil Grissom: I once ran for president of the science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out द्वारा one vote.
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess that आप didn't vote for yourself.
Gil Grissom: I'm not any good at politics. And it's cost me. It's how I लॉस्ट Nick and Warrick.
Catherine Willows: Your loss was my gain.
Gil Grissom: Yeah. And at least they're in good hands.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Burked (#2.1)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's been 24 minutes, Greg. When's this thing going to be done?
Greg Sanders: Well, with all due respect, sir, it's not a baked potato.
Greg Sanders: Did I ever tell आप I used to live in New York?
Gil Grissom: Is this going to be a short story या a novel?
Gil Grissom: Would आप mind if I took a picture for my bite collection?
Walt Braun: Whatever rubs your Buddha.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Turn of the Screws (#4.21)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Albert, dead men don't ride roller coasters.
Gil Grissom: [after a rollercoaster has derailed] Photograph the scene. Bag and tag all the detritus. फोर्कलिफ्ट, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
Gil Grissom: Bag and tag the detritus. फोर्कलिफ्ट, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Leapin' Lizards (#7.22)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [laying in बिस्तर watching Godzilla together] I always feel sorry for the monster.
Gil Grissom: Then आप better turn it off before they use the oxygen destroyer on him.
Gil Grissom: Did आप know that pigs are very intelligent animals? Right behind chimps, dolphins, and elephants.
Warrick Brown: Ahead of dogs?
Gil Grissom: And certain politicians.
Gil Grissom: Do आप believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?
Sara Sidle: I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet; I just was in the barn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Big Shots (#7.19)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: [looking at a bullet casing] Fifty caliber, casing looks new. I bet it's from a Desert Eagle.
Hodges: या a coffee shop. I could drink an एस्प्रेसो out of that thing.
Greg Sanders: This neighborhood rains lead.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, and we have to process every last drop of it.
Greg Sanders: We're going to make Bobby Dawson's नाव payment this month.
Greg Sanders: Open champagne bottle, white powder residue. Think it's coke?
Gil Grissom: [shining his flashlight on brain matter and skull fragments] Well then that must be his brain on drugs.
Greg Sanders: Party till आप drop.
Gil Grissom: या get shot, which ever comes first.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Recipe for Murder (#3.11)" (2003)
[Grissom and Willows enter a restaurant to investigate the death of one of its chefs. The hostess stops answering a very busy phone and turns to them]
The Hostess: Hi, last name?
Gil Grissom: We don't have reservation. We're here...
The Hostess: [taking back the phone] Party of four? Three weeks from Thursday? Let me see...
Catherine Willows: Excuse me but आप don't understand...
The Hostess: [holding up the phone] No, I'm sorry आप don't understand. Your walk-in's in a very busy night. We're short a chef.
Catherine Willows: We know. He's dead.
Gil Grissom: Not only dead. Dismembered. We're with the crime lab.
The Hostess: [putting down the phone] I'll get the owner.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom to Willows, struggling to remove a dismembered hand caught in a meat grinder] I'm gonna need a hand.
Gil Grissom: [after identifying the रसोई, रसोईघर चाकू used to dismember a chef] "Let us carve him as a dish fit for the gods"
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess Shakespeare.
Gil Grissom: Julius Ceaser.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Iced (#5.23)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: [Grissom, Greg, and Sara investigate the death of two lovers] "For never was a story of और woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
Greg Sanders: Found a condom wrapper.
Gil Grissom: So much for सुरक्षित sex.
[Sara looks disturbed]
Gil Grissom: And this must be Mr. Billmeyer. I'm so glad he's back.
Conrad Ecklie: Very funny.
Gil Grissom: आप might want to have Hodges analyze that cigar. Oh, and the print tech is free. He could, ah, spray the party hat with ninhydrin.
Conrad Ecklie: I think I remember how to do my job, Gil, thank you.
Gil Grissom: I प्यार it when आप wear your gloves.
Greg Sanders: हे Grissom, when आप went to college did आप live in the dorms?
Gil Grissom: Surely, आप jest.
[Sara laughs]
Sara Sidle: आप know they say a BA is worth a million dollars of extra income over your life.
Gil Grissom: Yeah but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.
Greg Sanders: So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?
Gil Grissom: I guess it depends on what आप learn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Lust (#3.9)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: [to Warrick] What do आप weigh?
Warrick Brown: Uh, that's between me and my trainer.
Gil Grissom: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick Brown: A buck 95, give या take a doughnut.
[Grissom turns to Sara]
Sara Sidle: Don't even ask, I'm not telling you.
Gil Grissom: Warrick, would आप lie down on the floor.
Warrick Brown: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Gil Grissom: Please?
[Warrick gets on the floor]
Greg Sanders: I'm afraid I don't have time for your humour, Ecklie has a multiple, Warrick tells me his घर invasion is चोटी, शीर्ष of the heap and I'm still backed up with Catherine's no suspect rape. It's like one servant many masters, आप know what I'm saying?
Gil Grissom: Greg, this is your DNA lab. आप are the master. We serve you.
Greg Sanders: Your stuff just moved to the चोटी, शीर्ष of the pile.
Gil Grissom: हे Doc, tell me something I don't know.
Dr. Al Robbins: When I was in fourth grade, I dropped karate because some kid half my size made me cry.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Unfriendly Skies (#1.9)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: [the group is re-enacting a fight on a plane, and Grissom is giving everyone their roles] Catherine, आप will be playing Dr. Behrle.
Catherine Willows: Single mom. What an imagination आप have.
Gil Grissom: High altitude enhances the entire sexual experience. It increases the euphoria.
Sara Sidle: Well, it's good. I don't know if it's that good... Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: Would आप hand me a swab please?
Sara Sidle: You're avoiding the question. Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: A magazine.
Sara Sidle: What magazine?
Gil Grissom: "Applied psychodynamics in forensic science".
Sara Sidle: Never heard of it.
Gil Grissom: I'll get आप a subscription.
Gil Grissom: I need to see their shoes.
Catherine Willows: Why are आप asking me?
Gil Grissom: Cause you're the people person, right?
Catherine Willows: Why don't आप tell them that? They're not giving me bubkas.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bodies in Motion (#6.1)" (2005)
Officer Metcalf: My money's on meth lab.
Sara Sidle: आप know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook.
Officer Metcalf: आप guys are a real pain in the ass, आप know that?
Gil Grissom: Get used to it, pal.
Catherine Willows: So आप get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of a perverse game are आप playing here, Gil?
Gil Grissom: I'm not a pervert.
[last lines]
Archie Johnson: The tape was pretty mangled. Enhancement and noise cancellation increase intelligibility, but it alters timber and tone. So, I don't know there's any और I can do here. आप know, Nick recorded a message on the flip side of the tape. आप think maybe we should
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] No! This is between आप and me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Alter Boys (#2.6)" (2001)
Father Powell: He needs spiritual guidance.
[Grissom looks at the suspect, then looks at the dead body]
Gil Grissom: Yeah, I imagine he does.
Father Powell: Ah. Then you'd have no problem with my talking to him.
Gil Grissom: It's the 11th hour. I wouldn't expect anything less.
Father Powell: Eleventh hour?
Gil Grissom: When the reality of their actions set in, they usually turn to religion.
Father Powell: Can आप think of a better time?
Gil Grissom: We both have jobs that begin after the crime.
Father Powell: After the sin.
Gil Grissom: Some people would call that a career in futility.
Father Powell: Some call it a vocation.
Father Powell: आप don't believe?
Gil Grissom: In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live.
Father Powell: Even if they're handed down द्वारा God?
Gil Grissom: How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?
Father Powell: Fanaticism, not religion.
Gil Grissom: Semantics. They're still dead.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ending Happy (#7.21)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [after putting her hand in the water] Feels like bath water. It's gotta be ninety degrees. There's no way we're going to get an accurate TOD.
Gil Grissom: Places like this always keep their pools warm, it encourages the girls to swim topless. It's good for business.
[at Sara's look]
Gil Grissom: So they tell me.
Gil Grissom: Where's your coroner?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Couldn't get him on the horn. Probably out in some barn, up to his elbows in a cow's vagina.
Sara Sidle: Excuse me?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Oh yeah, coroner's a part time टमटम here in Bryant County. He's a veterinarian. That's his money gig.
Gil Grissom: Twenty-five people here last night, and nobody sees anything.
Tanya: [passing by] Nice hat honey.
Sara Sidle: So, uh, you've been to a place like this before?
Gil Grissom: I worked a murder/suicide at the Naughty Kitty once.
Sara Sidle: No, no. Come on, आप know what I mean.
Gil Grissom: As a customer? No.
Sara Sidle: You've never paid for sex?
Gil Grissom: I have not. I find the whole idea very... bleak.
Sara Sidle: Really? How come?
Gil Grissom: Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection, but paid sex does the opposite of that. To me, sex without प्यार is... pointless. It makes आप sad.
Sara Sidle: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make आप sad.
Gil Grissom: No. आप make me happy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Butterflied (#4.12)" (2004)
[to the Doctor/Suspect leaving]
Gil Grissom: It's sad isn't it, Doc? A couple of middle aged guys like us, how we never really touch people unless we're wearing latex gloves. We wake up one morning and realize that for 50 years we haven't really lived at all... But then one day, someone young and beautiful offers to share their life with you, someone आप can care about. We have to give up everything we worked for to have them, I couldn't do it... but आप did. And she took that back didn't she? She gave आप something precious then आप took it back. So yo