Richard Hammond, आप are a bloody दिल breaker. I have a crush on you, bigger, it seems, than anybody else's. चोटी, शीर्ष Gear, Blast Lab (despite it being rather boring), anything, if you're on it, I'll watch it. The way आप have such enthusiasm for everything, the way आप explode into a fit of physics, the way your caravans explode into a fit of burning plastic, it makes me smile. If आप came up to me, the first thing I'd do is run your wife down with your Harley (best dream EVER), hold आप close, and किस आप within an inch of your life. Then I'd treat आप to a rubbish and soppy film at the Odeon, share पॉपकॉर्न with you, then take आप to, I dunno, Giraffe, order a तालिका, टेबल द्वारा the window, and declare my undying प्यार for you. And tell your wife to rest in peace. Kinda. Then I'd take आप home, किस आप और and take it from there...

This was all dreamed up in maths, and it cost me a detention, but hey, half-feeling your lips was great! प्यार आप Hamster!