I have a contest for आप bored people of fanpop!

this was the funniest one I could find.

When life gives आप lemons, throw them at old people!

In Harry potter instead of saying pulling my leg they say 'pulling my wand!!'

Friendship is like peeing in water it gives आप that warm feeling - some बिना सोचे समझे website

Or

आप laugh I laugh आप cry I cry आप jump off a cliff Iz miss ur funny emails.

When life gives आप lemons, throw them at Justin Bieber.

Not trying to be mean, I just thought it was funny.

Shanaynay, ftw! XD

All of these are from "The Princess Bride".

-"Life IS pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

-"He's right on चोटी, शीर्ष of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."

-"I do not mean to pry, but आप don't द्वारा any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"
"Do आप always begin conversations this way?"

-"We'll never survive!"
" Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has."

-"thank आप so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't आप give me a nice paper cut and pour नींबू रस on it?"

-"She is alive, या was an घंटा ago. If she is otherwise when I find her I shall be very put out."

-"Ha, your pig fiance is too late!"

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." :D

"Look At Me With My Pretty Bracelet And Tiara..I'm A Fuckin' Princess!" - Gerard Way

When mad, take a deep breath and count to ten.
When REALLY mad, swear and throw things at people.

- Benjamin Franklin

1.friendship is like peeing आप pants..
everyone can see but only आप can feel its warmth

2.if बार्बी isnt a sl** then why do we have to buy her boyfriends

*Gasp* What's that on yo face? *Slaps you* AAAHHHH!! How could I have possibly forget?!It was pain!!

Got acne? Ask your girlfriend what to do, oh yea u don't have A girlfriend

COOL WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!
COOL WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

If at first आप don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

My personal favorite.

These are कोट्स from the stories I'm पढ़ना "And Romeo Forgot His Lines" and "Mixed Dorms, Student/Teacher Relations Are Aloud, And Sex Ed Is A Core Subject. Welcome To High School?"

Any way the कोट्स are:
Great. He's 6 years old and he's already gay.
333 I'm only half evil

1. if आप want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

2. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

funny video he my friend got owned for being an moron lol.

Boing, boing boing! Even bigger than a boeing, boeing boeing!

A,B,C,D,E,F,G gummy bears are chasing me one is Red one is Blue one is trying to take my shoe and now im running for my life cuz the Red one has a चाकू लोल this is true

"Oh my god, I found it!"
"What, your virginity?"
"No, I लॉस्ट that YEARS ago."

XDD

I bet आप thought that I was awfully sweet.
Well, आप thought wrong.
I bet आप thought I was an angel.
well, आप thought wrong.
Hm, should of changed your mind before I raped आप and चुरा लिया your lungs.

"Um dude, what are आप doing?"
"I'm trying to get down there!" *points to a ledge below*
"Oh, well, that's hard."
*groans* "No!" *tries to get down*
"Dude, I think आप should go with climbing down those wires-"
"No!" *is on his stomach and reaches down over the ledge*
"Dude, dude, look at your options-"
*groans*
"Look at your options, go with the better option."
*tries to get down but fails, smashing his head and legs against the bottom ledge and falls to his death*
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...."


Stupid, but I'm being as funny as I can. XD

Last night I lay in बिस्तर looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

1. When life gives आप lemons, throw them at people आप hate.

2. Teacher:"Class, can आप see God? No. Can आप hear God? No. So there is no God!"
Christian student:"Techer, can आप see your brain? No. Can आप hear your brain? No. So आप have no brain!"

3. Child: "Teacher may i go to the bathroom?"
Teacher: "First say your ABC's."
Child: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ"
Teacher: "Where's the P?"
Child: "Trckling down mg leg!"

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

What आप call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what आप call him, he ain't gonna come.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

फ्रेंड्स r like potatos , u eat them they die :D


sora97

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Wal-Mart. Do they like make walls there या something?-Paris Hilton

BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD UNTIE!

Blonde:What does 'IDK' mean?
Boy:I don't know!

Teacher:"Class, can आप see God? No. Can आप hear God? No. So there is no God!"
Christian student:"Techer, can आप see your brain? No. Can आप hear your brain? No. So आप have no brain!"

Anna: [drugged] I feel like a डॉल्फिन who's never tasted melted snow. What does the color blue taste like? Bobo knows? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I must speak with the dolphins now. Eeeee-eeee-eee-eeeeeee!
-Hudson Hawk

Its बिना सोचे समझे and plus you've never seen the movie so its funny right?

"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over the garbage can and says 'That's Punk?', and I say 'No that's trendy!"

My friend found a possum eating her breakfast this morning. She was about to throw it out, then my other friend started to eat it O_O Not THAT funny, I just wanted to see how anyone would react to my daily life. XD

I have 2 A friend will bail आप out of jail a true friend will be right अगला to आप saying "man we really fucked up!"

Gtg btw I was गाना raise your glass in a store today and I sang " call me up if आप r gangsta" and this 32 yr old looked at me and my mom pretended to kick his ass
 ~JJ~ 

A few from my प्रिय दिखाना (okay sorry a lot, but you're और likely to find a funny one with more).

Louis: *over phone* So you’re having a baby, must feel really special. Course there are over six billion people in the world, every one of them was a baby so when आप put it in perspective how special can आप be?
Damon: *Looks over, sees Louis sitting at his डेस्क three feet away talking on phone, plays along* We’ve had serious infertility issues.
Louis: And I’m moved I truly am moved, but if that cell phone goes off in my presence again you’re going to have serious career issues. Also I don’t like आप very much. *sits cell phone down looks up, pops pen. Speaks as if nothing is odd.* Check on James Burke?

Damon: Am I always gonna be that guy that got shot on his first दिन on homicide?
Louis: Uh, I knew this cop back in New York, सेकंड week on the job there was a shootout. He comes up to me after, he’s all panicked cause he wet his pants, doesn’t want anybody to find out cause he knows he’ll never live it down, but I realized it wasn’t urine on his pants it was blood. So I tell him he got shot and he was very happy to find out that news.
Damon: So you’re saying it could have been worse, I could of pissed my pants?

Louis: Did आप touch my scorpion?
Damon: No
Louis: Well somebody did. When I left the stinger was pointing north and now it’s the other way.
Damon: Fine, I picked it up.
Louis: Why would आप do that?
Damon: Look at your desk, आप got a computer and a phone, not a single personal artifact, then that thing appears. How am I not gonna pick it up?
Louis: आप control yourself like a grown man.
Damon: Come on.
Louis: If आप touch anything on my डेस्क I will chop off your hands, I’ll lock them in the gun safe!
Damon: *disturbed* Roger that. *Looks at Ariana who just shrugs.*

Ariana: Your shooter must have been Jonesing pretty bad, he threw up everywhere.
Louis: That wasn’t the shooter. *nods towards Damon*
Ariana: No way.
Louis: Way

hmmm
I reject your reality and substitute it with my own

credit to my rei~chan, he keeps telling me that, along with ending every sentence with "on this the दिन of my daughters wedding"

"People they die when they are killed."

q,w,e,r,t,y,u,i,o,p,a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,z,x,c,v,b,n, and m, now i know my qwert's! PANDAS!!!!!!

i worry about my short attention span-but not for long.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

Behind every कुतिया, मतलबी is a man that made her that way.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.


woman in bathroom: *washing hands*
other woman: did आप even use the bathroom?
woman1:nope.
woman2: then why are आप washing your hands?
woman1: *stops and goes to dryer.* Bacon, here I come!!!

A good friend helps आप up when आप fall...
A BEST friend burts out laughing, trips आप again, and continues to laugh.

1.While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world................. Then he made the world round -_-

2. I was shopping at the local सुपरमार्केट where I bought milk, bread, eggs, नारंगी, ऑरेंज juiceand beef.
As I was unloading my iteams on the conveyor, the drunk standing behind me कहा "You must be single".
I was a bit confused but was intrigued द्वारा his declaration since I indeed haven't found Mr Right.
I looked at the items on the belt. Nothing that was particularly unusual या would tell a drunk I was single.
Curiosity got the better of me so I asked "How on earth did आप know that?"
The drunk replied... "Cause your ugly!"

3.A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade class. "Humans are the only जानवर that stutter" she said.
A little girl raised her ahnd and कहा "I had a kitty that stuttered once.
The teacher knowing how precious childrens stories are, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well" she begun "I was in the backyard with my kitty when the अगला door neighbours rottweiler, रोट्विइलर jumped the fence!"
"That must have been scary!" कहा the teacher.
"It was" कहा the girl "My kitty raised her back, went Fffffff Ffffff Ffffff but before she could say fuck off the rottwieler ate her!"

Hahahaha i think these are hilarious XD

आप cry, I cry, आप laugh, I laugh, आप fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

They say people don't kill people, बंदूकों do, so the अगला time I fail a test I can blame my pencil.

<3

There were 2 cousins:a little boy and a little girl.the girl was staying with her couisinn tht night.the mom drew a bath and the 2 young kids got in."Don't look down"said the boy.The girl looked down and said,"What's Tht?""Thts Snakey कहा the boy.Later tht night they went to bed.The अगला morning blood was on the sheets."What Happened?"asked the boy.the gurl said,"Snakey sprayed me so I bit him off"

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs.

Here's a comic about one of my greatest fears. Terrifying, isn't it?

1.hard work never killed anyone but why take the chance?

2.the world is going to hell and im driveing the bus

In 70 years Willow Smith will be singing
" I rock my chair back and forth"

It made me laugh XD

"When life give आप lemons आप throw them back and scream:GIVE ME SOME SKITTLES BITCH!

या

आप cry I cry.

Helth खाना my be good four आप but but chips and चॉकलेट taste bettera