I, for one, absolutely adore Disney. My favourite film is a डिज़्नी film. My favourite character is a डिज़्नी character. My fanart is always डिज़्नी fanart. There is not a part of my house that is free from obsession. So I decided to sit down, think it out and finally stress over putting them all in an order - my चोटी, शीर्ष 10 favourite डिज़्नी movies. This is going to take some definite kicking and screaming, but whatever.
Yes, I swear. Deal with it, because I'm not going to stop doing it. I don't care if आप think it's "wrong" and "limits vocabulary" because that's the biggest piece of fucking bullshit I've ever heard in my life.
On with the countdown!
10) Tarzan
What can I say? I'll aways प्यार Tarzan. Mainly because there's a bunch of British people in it and I'm British and that means something to me.
The first thing I always adored about this film was little clumsy, witty, silly, quintissentially British Jane Porter. Her outfits are nothing compared to some डिज़्नी characters, but I think they represent her like no tomorrow. That cute little yellow Victorian dress, and the silly little brolly to accompany it. Then there's the way she's like:
"Well, Daddy, these baboons tried to eat me and I almost died."
"Oh, what a shame."
"AND THEY TOOK MY BOOT!"
"THE ONES I BOUGHT YOU?! THOSE BASTARDS!"
I think I would so totally do that with my Mickey माउस converse. :') "THE LIMITED EDITION DISNEYLAND PARIS ONES?! THOSE BASTARDS!"
Anyway, moving on, who doesn't प्यार a sexy guy in a loincloth who thinks the best way to greet a lady is to lift up her स्कर्ट and then put his face in between her boobs? Ok, so maybe people that have a certain amount of modesty. But it's still goddamn Tarzan. He's epic win in an actual tin. He swings through he trees, he fights... erm... was that a cheater? I think it was. या was it a leopard? Eh, something with spots. Where was I? Oh yes, he jumps on blackboards yelling "GORILLA!" and that's pretty cool.
ALSO, I absolutely adore Clayton. He's an amazing villain. He's not even that evil until he goes all "MUHAHAHAHAHA!" and then gets very unevil द्वारा going "I'M GOING TO... be a typical white guy and just steal all these gorillas in the scheme of becoming very rich." Though, his defeat is amazing. He gets hanged द्वारा vines. How cool? I प्यार the fact that both of my Tarzan storybooks INSIST that he merely fell. Yeah, little Timmy Innocence over there might believe you, but I was the fucked-up 6 साल old going "ARE आप KIDDING ME? That's not what happened! That's like लेखन a storybook for The Evil Dead and saying all the zombies turned into butterflies!"
9) Pocahontas
One of my favourites since forever. I was only born in 1994 (which probably makes me older than most of the people पढ़ना this, but I feel young. Then again, maybe Bruce Forsyth feels young) so this was one of my first ever डिज़्नी films. Hell, I was only a little baby when it came out. It was the first one I had on video. The first one I watched incessantly. In fact, I only stopped watching it loads when I found something better. Yes, it's further on in the countdown, so I'm not going to mention it twice. SUSPENSE, do आप want some या not?
Anyway, Pocahontas. First off, it's based on history. That's rather epic win seeing as I'm a self-confessed history geek. Secondly, John Smith is just about the sexiest British guy prior to Tom Felton turning up in the Prisoner of Azkaban and everyone going "When the fuck did he get so goddamn hot?". Thirdly, Wiggins. <3 He does not need explanation. Then, of course, there's Pocahontas herself. Sexy amazing little Pocahontas with her long legs and her tiny outfit and her amazing hair and her epic win गाना voice and her personality.
I don't think it's possible to sum up this movie in just one small "I प्यार IT!" explanation. So I'm going to spare आप that and हटाइए on.
8) The Emperor's New Groove
I fucking प्यार this film. It's so funny, I almost die every time I watch it. Kuzco is actual प्यार and Yzma and Kronk... Jesus. Was डिज़्नी suffering from a douse of "LET'S BE EPIC WIN!" millenium mania? The only way this film could have been better was if Clopin was in it. But really, we can't have everything. Also, I don't think he was born yet... And I doubt he had the means to travel from Paris to... erm... south America somewhere. Peru! Everything's in Peru, let's have Peru. Wait, isn't that what the Spanish said?
7) Aladdin
This film is और epic win than, well, anything except the things above it. I प्यार the story, the songs (except for A Whole New World), the characters, the witty lines... AND FUCKING ROBIN WILLIAMS. येशु Christ. Any film with Robin Williams in it is insta-epic win. Like instant coffee but minus the coffee and plus the epic win. Aside from that, it also has one of the catchiest theme tunes ever. I used to watch the TV दिखाना constantly and then jump up on the sofa and go "ARABIAN NIIIIIIIGHTS. LIKE ARABIAN DAAAAAAAAAAYS!". I was the same with Timon and Pumba. I used to sit there and sing the whole theme tune. Long gone are the days when डिज़्नी actually knew how to make a decent TV दिखाना - just spin off a successful movie या दिखाना something epic win like Recess. I MOURN YOU, RECESS. I still have all the videos. *stroke* One day, we will all destroy filth like *shudder* Hannah Montana.
Oh, I appear to have let myself get distracted... Let's हटाइए on.
6) अलादीन and The King of Thieves
"A SEQUEL?!"
"Oh no, she didn't!"
"She put a SEQUEL in here?!"
Yes, I did. I have ALWAYS prefered King of Thieves to Aladdin. Ever since I was a little girl dressed as बैटमैन and running around declaring that I was to destroy the Joker with all my might. I don't care what आप say. बैटमैन and Robin is one of my favourite ever ever EVER films. I wore the tape out twice. I wore the tape out for King of Thieves once. I never wear the tapes out except when I प्यार a film so much that I can't stop watching it.
For me, अलादीन will never be the story of सड़क, स्ट्रीट चूहा meets princess. It will always be the story of former सड़क, स्ट्रीट चूहा whose dad is actually the King of Thieves gets his wedding crashed twice, accidentally joins the Forty Thieves, sings some epic win songs, turns a villain to सोना and marries the badly animated princess. Whilst accompanied द्वारा Robin Williams. आप see, this sequel got it right: Pretend Return of Jafar NEVER happened. The only thing to keep is good Iago, because he's amazing.
5) Basil The Great माउस Detective
Stfu, that's what we call it over here, that's what I'm going to call it. Also, it's "The Lion King 3: Hakuna Matata" not The Lion King 1 1/2. That just sounds retarded.
Anyway, yes. One of the best films ever. WHY DOES NOBODY ELSE प्यार IT? Basil is one of my favourite डिज़्नी characters. He's British (I sense a theme here) and strangely sexy for a detective mouse. Watson is funny and amazing, Olivia is so snappy and Scottish. She makes me lol. When I first saw Amy Pond (of Doctor Who) my original reaction was "How very Flaversham!". Also, there's Rattigan. One of the best villains ever. One of the best villain songs ever. "Even meaner? आप mean it? Even worse than the widows and orphans आप drowned?" is like, the most epic win line ever. This film is so underrated, it hurts.
4) Mulan
This film, for me, will always be my gateway to Disney. I was 4 when it came out and I'd seen all the Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Snow White, etc films (this was after I'd shunned Beauty and The Beast)... Very girly and princessy and sweet. Not exactly my cup of tea. Then one day, the world of डिज़्नी exploded and went "HEY! Here's a film we blatantly aimed towards boys to get them और interested in Disney!" and I was hooked. Who can't प्यार a film about war and fireworks and China? Whoever decided मूलन needed a dragon-lizard-thing to accompany her with the voice of Eddie Murphy really needs to get that "I'm so epic win that Chuck Norris knows my name!" medal.
As if that's not enough, डिज़्नी then decided to give मूलन 4 songs that completely kick most other films out of the water. As Nostalgia Chick once said... आप can't resist गाना along. आप never forget the first time आप hear I'll Make A Man Out Of आप and start गाना along like the crazy fool that आप are even though आप don't know the words.
3) The Princess and The Frog
I neeeeeeeeed to get this on DVD. No debating required. I need it. I need it right now. This film is actually epic win. Disney, आप just... आप just completely epic winned. Welcome back 2D animation!
First off, there's the characters. Naveen for one. "DANCE WITH ME, FAT MAN!" is one of the best lines ever. Me and my rl फ्रेंड्स always smirk and then say it to each other. HIS VOICE. Heebies bajeebies, it's sexy. He could be short and fat and ugly and that voice would still make him sexy as hell. Then there's Tiana. I प्यार Tiana! AND CHARLOTTE. OH GOD, CHARLOTTE. I प्यार चालट, चार्लोट, शेर्लोट SO much. She's funny and silly and crazy and गुलाबी and spoilt and rich. There's nothing undesirable about her in the slightest. I absolutely adore the pants off her. THEN THERE'S DOCTOR FACILIER. Tied for best ever डिज़्नी villain with Frollo. I प्यार him. सेकंड best ever डिज़्नी villain song. Easily the best dressed डिज़्नी villain. His voice is rather sexy too. I don't think there's anything about this film that I don't प्यार but there are still two better than it.
2) Hercules
I प्यार this film. I प्यार Megara, I प्यार Hercules, I प्यार Hades, I प्यार Phil, I प्यार the Muses, I प्यार the songs... I JUST प्यार IT. I Won't Say (I'm In Love) is still my favourite डिज़्नी song and Meg is easily the सेकंड best woman डिज़्नी has ever created, after the obvious.
The witty one-liners are hilarious, the songs are amazing, the एनीमेशन is lifting-the-roof epic. It's inspired द्वारा that amazing Greek artwork on the original vases. Just, wow. It really works. Then there's Hades. Hades is just... He's just Hades. He's blue and has आग for freakin' hair! How cool is that? He's such a sleazebag that आप have to प्यार him.
However, none of these awesome things could ever beat my favourite film ever. It shouldn't be a surprise because it's none other than...
1) The Hunchback of Notre Dame
I GODDAMN प्यार EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS FILM. Every सेकंड is a joy to watch. Every character has a unique personality and image that attracts viewers of all demographics. Plus, it's got Clopin. CLOPIN, YES. Mr Epic Win in a Tin himself. This film is just... wow. As if Clopin wasn't enough, डिज़्नी then decided that they'd chuck in the most epic win stuff they could find. There's Esmeralda, Phoebus, Frollo, Quasimodo. Plus, it's dark and gritty. This is how a kid's film should be - dark enough so that a kid isn't softened up to the outside world, but light enough so that they still walk away with a huge grin on their face. Adults can sit there and have a bit of fun with it too. In particular, some of the humour is quite adult, as are some of the themes. Which is probably why I प्यार it so much. Hellfire will always be my favourite डिज़्नी villain song and the rest of the songs in this film are epic win anyway. None of them are boring and they really want to make आप sing along and be a part of the magic. And after all, isn't that what डिज़्नी is all about?
That's your lot, be happy with it.
Here's a pretty picture of my RE folder to look at when you've finished reading.
Yes, I swear. Deal with it, because I'm not going to stop doing it. I don't care if आप think it's "wrong" and "limits vocabulary" because that's the biggest piece of fucking bullshit I've ever heard in my life.
On with the countdown!
10) Tarzan
What can I say? I'll aways प्यार Tarzan. Mainly because there's a bunch of British people in it and I'm British and that means something to me.
The first thing I always adored about this film was little clumsy, witty, silly, quintissentially British Jane Porter. Her outfits are nothing compared to some डिज़्नी characters, but I think they represent her like no tomorrow. That cute little yellow Victorian dress, and the silly little brolly to accompany it. Then there's the way she's like:
"Well, Daddy, these baboons tried to eat me and I almost died."
"Oh, what a shame."
"AND THEY TOOK MY BOOT!"
"THE ONES I BOUGHT YOU?! THOSE BASTARDS!"
I think I would so totally do that with my Mickey माउस converse. :') "THE LIMITED EDITION DISNEYLAND PARIS ONES?! THOSE BASTARDS!"
Anyway, moving on, who doesn't प्यार a sexy guy in a loincloth who thinks the best way to greet a lady is to lift up her स्कर्ट and then put his face in between her boobs? Ok, so maybe people that have a certain amount of modesty. But it's still goddamn Tarzan. He's epic win in an actual tin. He swings through he trees, he fights... erm... was that a cheater? I think it was. या was it a leopard? Eh, something with spots. Where was I? Oh yes, he jumps on blackboards yelling "GORILLA!" and that's pretty cool.
ALSO, I absolutely adore Clayton. He's an amazing villain. He's not even that evil until he goes all "MUHAHAHAHAHA!" and then gets very unevil द्वारा going "I'M GOING TO... be a typical white guy and just steal all these gorillas in the scheme of becoming very rich." Though, his defeat is amazing. He gets hanged द्वारा vines. How cool? I प्यार the fact that both of my Tarzan storybooks INSIST that he merely fell. Yeah, little Timmy Innocence over there might believe you, but I was the fucked-up 6 साल old going "ARE आप KIDDING ME? That's not what happened! That's like लेखन a storybook for The Evil Dead and saying all the zombies turned into butterflies!"
9) Pocahontas
One of my favourites since forever. I was only born in 1994 (which probably makes me older than most of the people पढ़ना this, but I feel young. Then again, maybe Bruce Forsyth feels young) so this was one of my first ever डिज़्नी films. Hell, I was only a little baby when it came out. It was the first one I had on video. The first one I watched incessantly. In fact, I only stopped watching it loads when I found something better. Yes, it's further on in the countdown, so I'm not going to mention it twice. SUSPENSE, do आप want some या not?
Anyway, Pocahontas. First off, it's based on history. That's rather epic win seeing as I'm a self-confessed history geek. Secondly, John Smith is just about the sexiest British guy prior to Tom Felton turning up in the Prisoner of Azkaban and everyone going "When the fuck did he get so goddamn hot?". Thirdly, Wiggins. <3 He does not need explanation. Then, of course, there's Pocahontas herself. Sexy amazing little Pocahontas with her long legs and her tiny outfit and her amazing hair and her epic win गाना voice and her personality.
I don't think it's possible to sum up this movie in just one small "I प्यार IT!" explanation. So I'm going to spare आप that and हटाइए on.
8) The Emperor's New Groove
I fucking प्यार this film. It's so funny, I almost die every time I watch it. Kuzco is actual प्यार and Yzma and Kronk... Jesus. Was डिज़्नी suffering from a douse of "LET'S BE EPIC WIN!" millenium mania? The only way this film could have been better was if Clopin was in it. But really, we can't have everything. Also, I don't think he was born yet... And I doubt he had the means to travel from Paris to... erm... south America somewhere. Peru! Everything's in Peru, let's have Peru. Wait, isn't that what the Spanish said?
7) Aladdin
This film is और epic win than, well, anything except the things above it. I प्यार the story, the songs (except for A Whole New World), the characters, the witty lines... AND FUCKING ROBIN WILLIAMS. येशु Christ. Any film with Robin Williams in it is insta-epic win. Like instant coffee but minus the coffee and plus the epic win. Aside from that, it also has one of the catchiest theme tunes ever. I used to watch the TV दिखाना constantly and then jump up on the sofa and go "ARABIAN NIIIIIIIGHTS. LIKE ARABIAN DAAAAAAAAAAYS!". I was the same with Timon and Pumba. I used to sit there and sing the whole theme tune. Long gone are the days when डिज़्नी actually knew how to make a decent TV दिखाना - just spin off a successful movie या दिखाना something epic win like Recess. I MOURN YOU, RECESS. I still have all the videos. *stroke* One day, we will all destroy filth like *shudder* Hannah Montana.
Oh, I appear to have let myself get distracted... Let's हटाइए on.
6) अलादीन and The King of Thieves
"A SEQUEL?!"
"Oh no, she didn't!"
"She put a SEQUEL in here?!"
Yes, I did. I have ALWAYS prefered King of Thieves to Aladdin. Ever since I was a little girl dressed as बैटमैन and running around declaring that I was to destroy the Joker with all my might. I don't care what आप say. बैटमैन and Robin is one of my favourite ever ever EVER films. I wore the tape out twice. I wore the tape out for King of Thieves once. I never wear the tapes out except when I प्यार a film so much that I can't stop watching it.
For me, अलादीन will never be the story of सड़क, स्ट्रीट चूहा meets princess. It will always be the story of former सड़क, स्ट्रीट चूहा whose dad is actually the King of Thieves gets his wedding crashed twice, accidentally joins the Forty Thieves, sings some epic win songs, turns a villain to सोना and marries the badly animated princess. Whilst accompanied द्वारा Robin Williams. आप see, this sequel got it right: Pretend Return of Jafar NEVER happened. The only thing to keep is good Iago, because he's amazing.
5) Basil The Great माउस Detective
Stfu, that's what we call it over here, that's what I'm going to call it. Also, it's "The Lion King 3: Hakuna Matata" not The Lion King 1 1/2. That just sounds retarded.
Anyway, yes. One of the best films ever. WHY DOES NOBODY ELSE प्यार IT? Basil is one of my favourite डिज़्नी characters. He's British (I sense a theme here) and strangely sexy for a detective mouse. Watson is funny and amazing, Olivia is so snappy and Scottish. She makes me lol. When I first saw Amy Pond (of Doctor Who) my original reaction was "How very Flaversham!". Also, there's Rattigan. One of the best villains ever. One of the best villain songs ever. "Even meaner? आप mean it? Even worse than the widows and orphans आप drowned?" is like, the most epic win line ever. This film is so underrated, it hurts.
4) Mulan
This film, for me, will always be my gateway to Disney. I was 4 when it came out and I'd seen all the Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Snow White, etc films (this was after I'd shunned Beauty and The Beast)... Very girly and princessy and sweet. Not exactly my cup of tea. Then one day, the world of डिज़्नी exploded and went "HEY! Here's a film we blatantly aimed towards boys to get them और interested in Disney!" and I was hooked. Who can't प्यार a film about war and fireworks and China? Whoever decided मूलन needed a dragon-lizard-thing to accompany her with the voice of Eddie Murphy really needs to get that "I'm so epic win that Chuck Norris knows my name!" medal.
As if that's not enough, डिज़्नी then decided to give मूलन 4 songs that completely kick most other films out of the water. As Nostalgia Chick once said... आप can't resist गाना along. आप never forget the first time आप hear I'll Make A Man Out Of आप and start गाना along like the crazy fool that आप are even though आप don't know the words.
3) The Princess and The Frog
I neeeeeeeeed to get this on DVD. No debating required. I need it. I need it right now. This film is actually epic win. Disney, आप just... आप just completely epic winned. Welcome back 2D animation!
First off, there's the characters. Naveen for one. "DANCE WITH ME, FAT MAN!" is one of the best lines ever. Me and my rl फ्रेंड्स always smirk and then say it to each other. HIS VOICE. Heebies bajeebies, it's sexy. He could be short and fat and ugly and that voice would still make him sexy as hell. Then there's Tiana. I प्यार Tiana! AND CHARLOTTE. OH GOD, CHARLOTTE. I प्यार चालट, चार्लोट, शेर्लोट SO much. She's funny and silly and crazy and गुलाबी and spoilt and rich. There's nothing undesirable about her in the slightest. I absolutely adore the pants off her. THEN THERE'S DOCTOR FACILIER. Tied for best ever डिज़्नी villain with Frollo. I प्यार him. सेकंड best ever डिज़्नी villain song. Easily the best dressed डिज़्नी villain. His voice is rather sexy too. I don't think there's anything about this film that I don't प्यार but there are still two better than it.
2) Hercules
I प्यार this film. I प्यार Megara, I प्यार Hercules, I प्यार Hades, I प्यार Phil, I प्यार the Muses, I प्यार the songs... I JUST प्यार IT. I Won't Say (I'm In Love) is still my favourite डिज़्नी song and Meg is easily the सेकंड best woman डिज़्नी has ever created, after the obvious.
The witty one-liners are hilarious, the songs are amazing, the एनीमेशन is lifting-the-roof epic. It's inspired द्वारा that amazing Greek artwork on the original vases. Just, wow. It really works. Then there's Hades. Hades is just... He's just Hades. He's blue and has आग for freakin' hair! How cool is that? He's such a sleazebag that आप have to प्यार him.
However, none of these awesome things could ever beat my favourite film ever. It shouldn't be a surprise because it's none other than...
1) The Hunchback of Notre Dame
I GODDAMN प्यार EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS FILM. Every सेकंड is a joy to watch. Every character has a unique personality and image that attracts viewers of all demographics. Plus, it's got Clopin. CLOPIN, YES. Mr Epic Win in a Tin himself. This film is just... wow. As if Clopin wasn't enough, डिज़्नी then decided that they'd chuck in the most epic win stuff they could find. There's Esmeralda, Phoebus, Frollo, Quasimodo. Plus, it's dark and gritty. This is how a kid's film should be - dark enough so that a kid isn't softened up to the outside world, but light enough so that they still walk away with a huge grin on their face. Adults can sit there and have a bit of fun with it too. In particular, some of the humour is quite adult, as are some of the themes. Which is probably why I प्यार it so much. Hellfire will always be my favourite डिज़्नी villain song and the rest of the songs in this film are epic win anyway. None of them are boring and they really want to make आप sing along and be a part of the magic. And after all, isn't that what डिज़्नी is all about?
That's your lot, be happy with it.
Here's a pretty picture of my RE folder to look at when you've finished reading.