हे guys can आप help me out?

I have the first chapter of a new possible story but I want to see if anybody is going to read it...
And I was wondering can आप guys read it and tell me what आप think in a टिप्पणी दे या email?
And I don't no the name yet so can आप guys help out with that to? Its not very long या hard to read.Oh and I can give आप a link to it.

And there's my other story mysterious प्यार on the spot "lilred96" articles.