A/N Sorry for taking so long, I procrastinate quite a lot… Please Review.
Losing my virginity was defiantly not how I imagined it when I was a young teenager, it was even better. Everything felt right, and it flowed perfectly in motivation between us, just like waves, he moved I moved. Peeta went the extra mile to make it memorable for me, but I suppose that could also be due to the fact that he has waited for that night for what seems like a very long time.
Peeta is my security blanket, he makes everything better, he understands, and I could not have wished for someone better to share my बिस्तर with for the first time. It didn’t last very long; it was his first time too. I would be lying through my teeth if I कहा it didn’t hurt at all, because of course it did, और then what your mothers try explain to आप during ‘the talk’. The pain still lingered in my step to the breakfast गाड़ी the अगला morning. It made Peeta snicker in pride.
Since that night four weeks पूर्व Peeta doesn’t hold back his open displays of affection amongst the presence of Effie and Haymitch, आप could say I broke down that secure barrier and he wanted everyone to know what he felt for me. It made me feel brighter about the future.
We are soon to arrive in our घर district, district 12, within the अगला two hours; I cannot wait to see Prim and Mum waiting patiently at the platform for me. It will be like another shift of weight removed off my chest, to see them सुरक्षित and healthy; for during the time of the games I sincerely feared that I may never see them again. However Effie Trinkett announced over the splendidly decorated and tastefully stocked breakfast ‘mahogany’ तालिका, टेबल that within of two weeks of settling into our new victor’s village homes we were once again to return to the capital for yet another Caesar Flickerman interview. Sigh, I wished nothing और than to close my eyes and it all to be over.
I found the smell of breakfast revolting, nothing appealed to me in anyway despite it being the same breakfast menu prepared every morning. The same menu I had always enjoyed. The smell of the steaming omelette made me turn my head away in disgust, forcing my stomach to churn. I just passed it off as an unusual morning where I wasn’t one hundred percent. So I settled with a plain piece of white toast, afraid even the spread of मक्खन may make me feel the same churn in my stomach.
After breakfast I found my way back to my room quietly sneaking past Haymitch who slummed deeply in an arm chair, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. This was normal for him; his release from the ruined life caused द्वारा the hunger games was intoxication.
Despite his deep sleep the rattle of the train travelling through the tunnel awoke him. He woke in a fit of rage, waving his arms viciously above his head, searching for any form of weapon. Haymitch appeared as though he believed to being attacked. I have them too, those constant dreams (or should I say memories) of people with their weapon at the ready, coming straight for you.
‘Haymitch, shhh, it’s nothing, just a tunnel, we’ll be घर now.” I कहा with a calming voice, as I know that the only thing to bring आप back was a soft voice who reassured आप that your games were over, your arena is gone.
“Hmm, Katniss आप never get off this train. There is no happy सुरक्षित life waiting back घर at district 12. We may have won but there is no escaping the games each and every year. You’re a mentor now, so that means every साल they will drag आप out and relive it, and watch your tributes be slaughtered for entertainment, every.. year!” Haymitch replied through heavy breaths and a groggy throat.
The train blacked out as we entered the tunnel, I couldn’t look Haymitch in the eyes, as he spoke the truth, I centred my stare to the cement tunnel through the windows. There was no hope left for my life, the capitol would always be in control. Just when the victors thought that they had won their freedom and would be showered in riches, they were fooled, they were all fooled. The victors never won at anything, the capitol still controlled them and continued to conflict pain repeatedly over them. It was all for nothing, once it was all done and over we envied the ones we killed for they were truly free. And Haymitch knew that all too well.
I watched as each tunnel light beamed through as we sped at high speed, within सेकंड्स the mockingjay symbol broadcasted boldly over and over through the carts window. It was painted over and over on the tunnel walls in red paint. I froze completely, my mouth gasping.
“Look Katniss, that symbol is you! And they will never give up, आप have दिया them all hope, wither आप meant to या not! And आप may have convinced most of the capitol but Snow is still to believe that आप really defied them द्वारा truly loving that boy! That should be your number one priority right now, या he will only make your life even और torturous then what it already is and most importantly many और innocent lives will continue to be publicly executed. When आप convince him, the other districts will believe it too. आप have to be one of them! I mean do आप even प्यार him even just a little bit? “Haymitch exploded.
“Of course I do! I do प्यार him, और than I thought I ever could प्यार someone. But the way I प्यार in front of other people is different then the way I प्यार in private. I’ve never been able to express my true feelings, I’ve always had to be strong for Prim, she couldn’t see how much I was keeping inside, after a while it just became normal. I just don’t know how to release the टोपी off the bottle. I don’t what else I can do to convince him.”
“Well do something about it, the entire country is watching you! They need to see the lengths आप will go to be with him. Like I said, this train never ends, and neither does the capitol” –Haymitch.
I didn’t what else to do, Haymitch was right about everything. I hated that.
“I am the mockingjay! And I will not be beaten!”I yelled, storming off.
* * *
I badly needed a shower; I’ve found that the warm water helped me wake up from the restless nights. Button द्वारा button I began to remove my pyjamas, suddenly a pair of warm hands gracefully swarmed around my waist. I recognised the touch like it was my sixth sense. Peeta. He appeared out of nowhere, he must have followed me to my room. His body came one step closer, moulding his chest perfectly into my back; Peeta nuzzled his face into my neck and inhaled.
“Katniss..”He hissed through his teeth. He sounded drunk from the closeness and the smell of my आड़ू, पीच shampoo wafting throughout my hair.
His forearms were burning warm against my bare torso, I ached to let my head fall back to fall on his shoulder and stroke his arms. It was moments like these that made me forget what’s really happening on the outside and allows me to feel like an average girl falling in love. I’d give anything to be that girl; I didn’t need to ask to know that Peeta feels the same, to be the same old baker’s boy falling in प्यार with the strong willed miner’s daughter who had a good arm. But this is a cruel world; आप learn that quickly in life.
Perhaps it was Peeta all this time that has kept me sane all this time. If it wasn’t for tender moments like these that make me feel like the poor girl from 12 I once was instead the leader of a country rebellion and the cause of so much death I would have had the same fate of Annie Cresta. The thought of Annie Cresta brings me back to what Haymitch had said; “he will only make your life even और of torturous then what it already is”.
I released Peeta’s grasp from around my waist and spun myself around in order to be facing face to face with him. I looked up into his deep blue eyes; they were concentrated strongly on mine.
“Peeta, we need to do more. The districts still are convinced that what we did in the games was not out of love, but out of defiance and rebellion. Most of all that’s what Snow believes. We never get off this train Peeta, we are forced to stay with other for the rest of our lives to prove that, but in saying that we need to broadcast it और publicity, we need to rub it in their faces.”
“What और can we do?” Peeta said, his eyebrows crooked with confusion.
“We could get married” I was afraid to say these words; I never pictured that sort of life for myself, especially not now.
“Yeah fine sure.”Peeta replied bluntly. His eyes dropped to floor and I saw his hand ball up in fists. In a moment his mood ultimately changed, and he stormed out my bathroom and then out of my bedroom.
I didn’t need Peeta to say it, I knew this is not how Peeta wanted things, he wanted to get married because he wanted to. Secondly no doubt he wanted to do it the traditional way. Not just because it’s all for दिखाना and for for everyone else.
The stress of it all made my stomach churn once again, yet this time twice और dramatic. In a period of five सेकंड्स I keeled over ninety degrees and my single slice of टोस्ट from this morning came spewing from my mouth. I was grateful the toilet was only a step away.
A/N Sorry not a lot happen in this chapter, I’m just trying to set up a plot (ground work) as well as the unexpected pregnancy due to appear. I didn’t want to rush into it, I wanted it to develop into something more. आप know have और events occurring around Katniss then just her just falling pregnant. अगला chapter will elaborate on that. Sorry it’s a bit short, it’s all I have time for tonight.
Please review. Would प्यार to know what you’d like to see.