द हीरोस ऑफ ओलिंपस My Version of the Son of Neptune

athena502 posted on Apr 21, 2011 at 06:05PM
I'm really excited about this since I've had a lot of ideas about SoN. I just have one request:
No spam- It's just annoying. Only constructive criticism, questions, praise (:D), corrections... If you post it, I stop.

First Book: The Son of Neptune (obviously)
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
Characters: Percy Jackson, Dakota Latro, Gwendolyn Gracchus, Hazel Vespillo, Bobby Lepidus, Reyna Aurelius, Aurora Balbus, and a few others. They'll come along the way.
Plot: While Jason, Leo, and Piper are off riding on Festus to save Hera, strange things are stirring around Legion Camp. A mysterious demigod appears and a mysterious goddess disappears. As the Romans begin to trust this new demigod more, he becomes more wary of his situation every day. Will they succeed and find out what is the force orchestrating all this? Or will they fail and live in ignorance until it strikes again?

Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or Heroes of Olympus. I'm just a fan who wants to know what happens next.

Oh and one more thing. GO PERCABETH!




Chapter 1- Dakota
“Guard your left,” I heard Reyna whisper calmly to me as she walked passed us. Automatically, I thrusted my shield out to guard my left side. I felt the impact of Bobby’s sword against mine. Why did she always have to be right? It made her that much more annoying. I raised my sword and went in for a jab. He parried and our swords met in midair. I threw down my shield and held my sword with both hands, trying to get the maximum amount of strength so I could twist his blade out of his hands. Don’t fight force with force, I heard Lupa chiding me in my head.
I pulled my sword away from our locked position, making him stumble. I used the opportunity to draw him back even further by jabbing my blade directly into his chest. This caused him to arch back and fall to the ground. I pushed him down with my combat boot (which had to hurt) and touched the tip of my sword into his chest. We sat there, breathing heavily, for a few minutes. He looked livid. Finally, I smiled nervously and he smiled back. I took my foot off of his stomach and helped him up.
“Good game,” I said, lying through my teeth.
“Tha-“ He was cut off by the sound of a conch horn in the distance. He turned to run back to his cabin but I grabbed him by the straps of his armor and made him wait. Two long blasts. Only praetors, then. I let him go and he swiveled the other way, towards the border. We both ran through the camp, wondering what we would find at the border. A monster they couldn’t kill? No way. A god? No, gods wouldn’t make a special trip all the way from the Emperor’s Hill just to see a few campers. A persistent mortal? Definitely not. A demigod? Maybe. I shook my head. No, every demigod had to go to the Wolf House first.
We caught up with the other praetors, some of them still adjusting the straps of their armor or sliding weapons into their sheaths. All around me, I heard the same questions.
“What do you think it is?”
“Why would they blow the horn?”
Of course, there was still Aurora who said, “If it was that desperate, why would they only call for praetors?” Stupid Venus girl. She was as beautiful as anyone could be, and as good a fighter as you would expect from a Roman soldier, but when it came to brains, that girl was seriously lacking. I looked around, looking for Reyna. I spotted her at the front of the group, running a good twenty meters ahead of us. I pushed ahead, running as fast as I could to catch up with her. Not an easy feat, may I add. That girl can run a six-minute mile without a pack strapped to her back, seven with one. When I finally caught up with her, we were at the border. Great. People were about to run through the thick grove of trees that surrounded the clearing that was the border, but Reyna swiveled around and said,
“Not yet.” Without looking, she reached an arm beside her and pulled back a kid who had kept running.
“Don’t attack immediately. Intimidation first, attacks second. I give the word. You know what to do.” She scanned our faces, “Well do you?” We all nodded our consent. Finally we pushed through the grove and saw…nothing. I looked up in the trees and saw absolutely nothing. Good. The archers hid themselves well. I looked around at my fellow campers and saw they were all looking up. Well, not Reyna. Reyna, as usual, was looking in the right place. I followed her gaze down to the ground. There lay a boy. He was sprawled on the ground, his black hair caked with dirt. He was unconscious, that much I could tell. I stepped closer. He was kind of cute. Actually, really cute. I shook my head, trying to clear it. Reyna was circling around him. She quietly said,
“You can come down now.” On cue, the Apollo archers jumped out of their trees, landing on the ground with a loud thud. “Explain yourselves,” she said with a little more fervor in her voice. The leader started talking about how they just didn’t know what to do, he appeared out of nowhere, he started to fight them, but they took him down…Excuses, excuses. I nudged Reyna and gave her a questioning look. She closed her eyes.
“We’ll bring him in. If he’s dangerous, we’ll take care of him.” She grabbed his arms, I grabbed his legs, and we brought him through the grove together. I had a sinking feeling that I was Cassandra of Troy and I had just brought in the horse.



last edited on Apr 21, 2011 at 09:05PM

द हीरोस ऑफ ओलिंपस 11 उत्तरों

Click here to write a response...
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना PersesJr said…
awesome chapter.first to comment yes
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना Perseus54321 said…
Really good, only thing is Philoctes killed Paris before they brought in the Trojan Horse. Maybe Cassandra or Polyxena.
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना athena502 said…
big smile
Thank you so much! I didn't expect anyone to read it. And thanks for the tip. I'll change it.
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना blakerose12 said…
big smile
Really really good keep on going and great start post soon !!:))))
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना mixthealphabet said…
I quite liked it. Keep going. =)
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना TheMagicWord said…
its really good, but you should probably move the first chapter in as a post. im excited for the next chapter
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना PersesJr said…
POST SOON
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना athena555 said…
I had to delete my account for personal reasons. I'm just signing in as a new user to tell you I won't be posting. How about we make it so that anyone can post. I'll give you something to continue the story on and you just keep going. Reyna's a daughter of Minerva, Dakota's a daughter of Mercury, Gwen is a daughter of Apollo, Bobby's a son of Mars, Aurora's a daughter of Venus and Hazel, just to throw in a twist, is another daughter of Jupiter.

Anyway, I'm really sorry but that's just how it is. Think of my chapter as the starting point.

By the way, it's still athena502, but it wouldn't let me keep that name. Just making sure.
last edited एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना green-art-ac-pj said…
smile
That was really good is this ur first time?
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना AmazingPercy said…
smile
I'll try but they probably wouldn't be so long
*****************************************­***­**
Chapter 2
Part 1
(Hazel)
With Bacchus recalled back to Olympus and Lupa running around on her "quest" I was running the camp. Jason, my half brother, was still missing. I had to make all the choices. Being a daughter of Jupiter I was to agree and disagree with my friends. One of my biggest problems today was the campers talking about this new guy. Reyna and all the other Minerva kids were thinking if we should keep him. The rest of the cabins were splitting either way. I personally taught to let him stay and see how powerful he was and once he woke up we would see if he could pass the test.
That night we put him in the Big House while the praetors got together for a meeting. There was:

Reyna=Minerva
Dakota=Mercury
Gwen=Apollo
Bobby= Mars
Aurora=Venus
Matt=Bacchus
Maryland=Ceres
Emily=Vulcan
Carlo=Juventes
Alice=Trivia
Vanessa=Cupid
Samuel=Sommus’s
George=Iris
एक साल  से अधिक पुराना Asmadasahater said…
GREAT