can someone comment i'm a bad writer but bear with me


Chapter Two
Percy

Percy was freaked out he couldn't even remember his last name, it scared him. When he tried to remember anything he kept thinking that the necklace he was wearing was a clue. It had clay beads on it; the oldest one was black with a trident and the newest had a building on it, he thought for a moment, the Empire State Building. For some reason the name gave him a sense of loss. What the giant brown wolf said didn't help, it wasn't the being half god that confused him, he felt that he had excepted that fact long ago but a camp for halfbloods, demigods, the word popped in his head, he recognized the fraze. He was sitting by a stream getting a lot of stares, but he felt like he was used to it, being stared at.
“I'm Dakota” a girls voice announced breaking his train of thought. Dakota was tall with long black hair and big green eyes she had thick red lips, a small nose and pale skin, with armor over the purple t-shirt everyone was wearing and black dress pants and a fighting knife strapped to her bicep she looked like Snow White gone bad.
“Percy “
“I know, I'm supposed to show you around the camp”. They walked past the training space and the stables, past the dining hall and the counsel room at the edge of the woods was the fauns house, satyrs he corrected mentally. When he asked why they were going into the woods she said the cabins dotted the woods. The first one was Minerva, wisdom and battle, a curly haired blond girl with gray eyes walked out as they went by, he reminded him of someone but as usual he couldn't remember who. After passing the cabins for Mars,Ceres, Janus, and some others they got to a large low building that looked like the cap on a fishing boat.
“Thats my cabin” she said proudly “Neptune”.

I liked it it's good

Its really good(: Yay percy hass.a sister!

Chapter Three
Percy

Neptune = Poseidon he did the equation in he head, a thought popped out of nowhere I'm the only one, he was joking he echoed it aloud
“I'm the only one, he was joking”
“Only what” asked Dakota wearily “who was joking”
“I I I don't know” he replied and started walking forward
“Percy” she said worriedly “you shouldn't do that, theres a curse'” he didn't stop, he walked right in the cabin.
Dakota
he had walked in her cabin, he couldn't be claimed more clearly, only a child of Neptune could do that .
“come on “ she said “let's go see Lupa” and led the way out of the wood's and across the camp

sorry it so short i was half asleep when i wrote it

cool

Ha! i finaly have more then three characters!


Chapter Four
Lupa

“Percy has been claimed “ came 13 year old Dakota's voice
“When?” asked Lupa
“Just now “ said the girl
“By whom ?“
“Neptune.”
“Then get the things prepared for him in Mercury's cabin into your cabin in the boy s section”
“Yes Lupa” said the girl obediently.
Percy

“Come on “ Dakota said echoing her earlier words. She led him to the Mercury cabin and told the head, a girl named Hazel, that he had been claimed and they needed the stuff that had been sent down for him. Hazel said 'hi' to him and then yelled the name Riley and a tall blond guy jogged up.
“This is Percy” she said “He's been claimed so you need to help him bring his stuff to his cabin stating with the bunk, Dakota will help you guys carry it” as they walked, Riley made conversation.
“So where we goin' ? “ he asked .
“Neptune” Percy replied, obviously Riley had been looking for a longer response .
“So did you already know who your parent was or were you just claimed ?“ he tried again.
“Just claimed “ Percy answered. Riley was beginning to look frustrated with the short answers.
“So where are you from? “he asked, finally getting a longer answer.
“I have no idea, I don't remember anything before waking up on the border of the camp surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves” responded Percy.
“Well that's … Different “ replied Riley
“No it's insane “ Percy disagreed. Riley laughed at that.
“Yeah just a bit “.

nice nemisis
percy moving in with dakota

Yes both of these chapters are short and suckish too bad

Chapter Five
Annabeth

She spent every moment working on the Argo2 with Hephaestus cabin. She missed Percy so badly, but they were going to get him back , they had to, it was the whole reason they where building the ship. Yes, they would find him, she had to believe in that if in nothing else, she would go insane if she thought other wise. Annabeth dreamt that night, sad dreams, of Percy well they where happy when they had been thought of as memories but with him gone.... First she dreamt she was a mountain, one of Hephaestus' forges she thought they where both going to die and she had kissed him. Then of his sixteenth birthday being eavesdropped on by their friends and being dropped in the lake , their under water kiss,the first of many, and the last day she'd seen him, they had both taken an early holiday break so they would have more time with each other, they'd spent the day on the beach...when she wore the hole in her heart was that much bigger, she had to muster all of her self control so she wouldn't cry. They would find him ,she repeated the thought in her head, wiped her eyes, and went to work on the ship.

Chapter Six
Leo

The ship was almost done,he decided during lunch break. He thought it take about a weak and when he discussed it with Nyssa she'd agreed with him . Then he went to see Annabeth, she needed some good news to cheer up her. He found her sitting on a piece of drift wood on the beach.
“Annabeth” he said when she didn't hear him approach.
“Sorry” she replied “I was... thinking”she finally finished, he didn't ask what, he had a pretty good guess.
“S'okay” he answered “ I just came to tell you the boat should be finished in about a week” then Annabeth smiled, the first one he'd seen in the two week's he'd been at camp. She had tears in her eyes when she thanked him.

Im not posting any more peeps
_

I thought it was good! Yours was so unique- many people don't have a son or daughter of Neptune- i liked it for a change.

i liked it a lot you shouldnt give up continue writingo and youll get awsome before long.

thanks for the complement im blushing mabey i'll write a bit more but not very often i have serios writers block

Poost! Don't give up its awsome

hmmm... mabey ill post tommorow ill try to get an insperatoinal dream/hulusination thats how i normaly get my writing done ......thoughtfulness.......

I know people were only telling me to continue to be nice but so what im pretending the were being truthful

Chapter Eight
Percy

Percy was really tired so he went too sleep way early he was pretty sure that it was a memory...
'A twelve year old him was writing on a delivery slip , it read :

The Gods
Mount Olympus
600th floor
Empire State Building
New York, N.Y

with best wishes
PERCY JACKSON

“ They're not going to like that” warned a satyr with curly brown hair that just covered his horns , “They'll think your impertinent”as the younger version of Percy poured some gold coins ,drachmas his subconscious supplied, he replied
“I am impertinent” and then he looked up at a girl with curly blond hair and stormy gray eye's as if daring her to comment,
“Come on” she muttered, “ we need a new plan”.

Yeah insanley short but "shrug"

i am insanly stupid i just found out if you go to the pencil on a story you wrote you can add chapters or delaet them "Gasp"

even though its boring i think its one of my best

Chapter Nine

Dakota

Dakota was thoroughly annoyed, Percy was going to make her late for border duty if he didn't wake up soon she'd been yelling at him to wake up for the last half hour, he was a very heavy sleeper .
“PERCY “ she screamed.
“What” he muttered groggily
“Finally”she replied, “I've been trying to get you up for ever”
“'Kay now get out so I can get dressed “ he said pointedly she walked out and shut the door, halfway out of the cabin she called
“breakfast is at seven, don't be late “ and walked out the door. She hoped Alia,one of the two kids younger then her, wouldn't report her.

When she got to the border Alia was waiting their with her long red hair braided down her back the daughter of venus didn't look very happy
“Please don't report me I had to wake up Percy and he is a really heavy sleeper “ Dakota begged as soon as she was sure Alia could hear her, with any one else she new she would be in big trouble but Alia was different, she wasn't a stern and she had let her off before .
“Fine” she huffed, ”but this is a one time thing”'yes 'Dakota cheered in her head she was off the hoke
“thanks so much Alia” she said gratefully
“It's fine, I just want info on your new brother “ she said ,such a venus kid “he's cute “
“Alia, we're 13 he's like 17 you have no chance what so ever “ Dakota replied discouragingly.
“pffftt”came from Alia ,Dakota laughed
“C'mon lets get the patrol done I'm hungry”

Hahaa love the chappter Hahaa Percy got GAME XD

funny poor alia annabeth going to kill her post soon please

I have writers block might not post for a few days pluse just got back from a week of camping tiered

ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr­rrr­rrr­rrr­rr i have no new ideas for the next chapter my sister refused to read it and give me ideas shes suckish

yeah i just said i wasn't gonna post but... this is random but can anyone try to guess how old i am by my writing ... or what i look like?post what you think im interested in what people think ill be very offended of anything 30 or over for age grrr i can be very feriosios ill eat your brains.

Chapter 9 1/2
Dakota


When she got to the dining hall Percy was already sitting at their table with a confused expression on his face staring at the goblet in front of him she groaned he was going to give neptune a bad name acting that stupid
“Percy” she moaned “stop acting dumb and say what you want to drink “
“ this place just keeps getting more and more insane ,talking to a cup” he muttered but asked the cup for blue coke a strange request in her opinion, but to each his own.
Yes its so horridly short its embarrassing but I was bored so I wrote some crap

rude (hufff) no replies (grrr) evil persons whatevas ill post either tonight or tommoro ba byes

please post soon.

it's good

okay i just have to type them up the next 2 chapters are written but what about my question guess my age and what i look like

grrrrrrrrrrrr i lost the papers the chapters were written on i think it has somthing to do with my sister but now i have to rewrite

i know this sounds mean of me but i was just laughing histerricly cause im my sis who has had a fanpop 4 1 year has 1 fan-me i know again very rude and mean but.... okay i have no exscuses im just being rude to my sister and yes shes the suckish one that refused to go over my story yeah this is kinda long so im gonna shutup now

im bored .... i dont belive im saying this but i cant wait 4 school to start again

where is my few reader people know ones answered my question or posted for to days i just said im mean and amnow proving it i refuse to post until two peoples answer my question and choclate you have no excuse you were on 10 hrs ago hmph sorry im so mean but im probly punishing myself more then you guys your probly happy to get rid of me whateves if any one insane enough to want me to post answer my question as if any ones that insane ba byes

age 16
you have brown her and your tall.

iteresting

14 blackish brown hair blue eyes I didnt look at your profile so this a complete guess

Maddy were r u

HI!

im right here

very intereting aswers

i warn i have the next chapter wrttn and 1 person needs to answer my question and madmaxine7 you arnt alowed to cause you already no the answers now im tired night peooples

Wait can you repeat the question?

its how old is she and what she looks like

ok i already anwsered but why are we doing this not to be mean or anything

because im curios and i was all like know one commented in three days i've been taking to myself and can someone else answer the question cuase the next chapter is long for what i've written plus i started writing the chapter after that how bored i am and its got a cool surprse plus i wanna pooooooooooooossssssssttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!­!so­rry for my rudeness

oh ok sorry i didnt post sooner i didnt realize you had a forum topic until i clicked on it

Okay people ill post now chase you made me bored but still answer my question please

its long for me

Chapter Ten
Percy

Percy decided this camp couldn't be boring as soon as Lupa gave him his training schedule for legion two he'd been busy rock climbing and Pegasus riding he tried archery and his trainer a Apollo girl named Gwen Brooks who he'd become friends with agreed that he sucked at it after an indecent with a flaming arrow his sword trainers a daughter of Pluto and named Reyna Trent and her twin brother bobby reminded him of another pair of brother and sister he later discovered that Reyna was his priotor. During the marches Reyna asked what he was thinking about and he told about the dream he'd had it went like this : he was in an old fashioned white house there was a woman in a cage
“Perseus” she murmured “if you want your memories back you must get a quest you must succeed as well hero and you will get information about the legions missing camper “
“Who are you “ Percy asked
“Juno or in your case Hera ,now awaken my guard approaches and beware the earth”

Reyna

As soon as Percy told her about his dream she dragged him too Lupa she was going to request a quest queen Juno herself had pretty much granted him one. And thats what she told Lupa she announced herself than ran in gave a quick bow signaled for Percy to do the same then started talking quickly
“Percy needs a quest “
“ Why” the she wolf growled
“Queen Juno granted him one she said if succeeded he would get his memories back and she hinted about him getting information on Jason as well “ the girl finished breathlessly . The wolf looked thoughtful for a moment and then agreed
“Perseus will be granted a quest “ Percy standing a little ways back looked startled
“'Kay Percy who ya' gonna bring with ya?” asked bobby's voice. It was Reyna turn to be startled she hadn't realized her brother was even there,Percy then answered and this is is quoted “Umm ahhh whaa?”
“Who . Are .You. Bringing . On .The. Quest .”bobby replied with an unnecessarily exaggerated patent tone
“Bobby “his sister scoffed “he has to get a prophecy first”
“ Oh yeah “ was Bobby's replie
“C'mon” Reyna continued “lets go see the Oracle”
“Yeah lets visit the crazy mortal girl that tells the future” Bobby agreed in a falsely over enthusiastic voice
“ Don't be mean Rachel is perfectly sane Bobby” Reyna argued Percy had a pained expression on his face at the name of the oracle
whatever she thought and headed to Rachel's door

the next capters half fineshed its 1:45 in he morning so im gonna go to bed now night peeps

Is it the same Rachel from camp half blood or is it a nnew person

Hee hee you'll have to did oyt