Does time heals all wounds? I’ve heard many survivors of abuse try to soothe themselves द्वारा saying, “Soon, this will pass.” It does take time to heal—and lots of it. But time alone won’t repair the soul mutilation of abuse anymore than it will repair the destruction caused द्वारा an earthquake. Sexual abuse ravages the depths of your being and to be restored, you’ll need to face each wounded area. Healing takes great quantities of perseverance, courage, strength and yes, time.
Recognizing the Abuse
The first step in beginning to heal from any kind of abuse is to recognize and acknowledge that it happened to you, and that it matters. It’s very common to remember an unwanted sexual encounter, yet not recognize it as sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is when someone with less power is tricked, trapped, coerced, या bribed into any type of sexual experience. Power imbalance may result from the perpetrator’s age, size, position, experience, या authority and includes kissing, fondling, being forced to touch the abuser’s genitals, anal, oral या vaginal sex, and non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism या sexual comments.
Though आप may not label it as such, the effects are no less present. The attempt to deny the seriousness doesn’t the effects. Just the opposite is true. आप may have low self-esteem as a result of your abuse and might not think it matters that आप were hurt, but your life is important and आप are worth the time and effort it takes to overcome this.
Gaining the Proper Perspective
While it’s common to see the abuse as less serious than it is, it’s also common to see the abuse as bigger than it is. The abuse leaves आप feeling powerless. Often, that feeling carries into the healing process. The powerlessness causes आप to think of yourself as less capable and weaker than आप are. The effects of abuse can seem engulfing, yet आप are stronger than the abuse या its effects. Your survival proves that. You’ve lived through the worst of it and the same strength that preserved your life will help आप build a new one.
Facing the Effects and Envisioning a Better Future
It’s important to see how sexual abuse has affected your life. Go through the symptom checklist Possible Indicators of Sexual Abuse. Don’t get overwhelmed. Instead, recognize the symptoms of victimization for what they are. Once आप recognize how much the abuse has affected you, आप can see how much आप have to gain द्वारा the healing process.
Sometimes it’s hard to visualize a life not consumed with abuse, but try to imagine yourself doing something that आप weren’t able to do before.
Facing the Pain
The pain of abuse can be agonizing and incapacitating. Sometimes, it overtakes आप and it’s impossible to think about anything else. At those times, pain seems like the enemy. आप may try to avoid it through masking या stuffing. Pain won’t kill you, but failing to deal with the pain can या shorten your life.
Pain is a vital tool in healing and will only be eliminated as your wounds heal. It’s meant to be a signal to help आप find the specific areas that need your protection, nurturing and attention. If आप cooperate with your pain instead of fighting it, it will be your ally.
When आप recognize a feeling emerging, try to identify when it started. Understanding the origin of the event या memory can help आप process and work through the feeling.
Even if आप don’t know why आप feel the way आप do, it’s still important to express your emotions. Masking या stuffing feelings won’t make them go away, only expressing them will.
Be careful not to judge your feelings. Feelings are neither good nor bad. They are helpful indicators of what आप believe about your experience. आप will likely experience anger and hatred and many other powerful emotions during this time. The और comfortable आप become in allowing the feelings to surface, the easier your healing will be.
Gathering Your Resources
A support system is vital to your healing. फ्रेंड्स and family members, support groups and/or a therapist can fill this need. आप can’t do this alone. आप suffered alone for long enough and आप need others around आप to heal. Choose people who will take the time to listen without judgment and who help आप feel safe.
Professionals who are familiar with sexual abuse issues not only provide support द्वारा listening but also द्वारा educating आप on the process, though many survivors heal without professional counseling. If आप choose not to seek therapy या can’t afford it, आप will need to learn everything आप can about the subject. Doing so will prepare आप for the journey द्वारा telling आप what to expect and द्वारा affirming your thoughts and feelings. Here is a सूची of recommended reading. Even if आप hire a therapist, आप are responsible for educating yourself and for your own healing. Nobody can do it for you.
Taking the Plunge
आप may be tempted to put your healing on hold while waiting for your abuser to apologize या your family to believe you. Unfortunately, those things may never happen. Isn’t it time for आप to be in control of your own life? Don’t allow someone else to determine when your healing journey begins. Others may not choose to do what’s best for you, but आप can.
Recognizing the Abuse
The first step in beginning to heal from any kind of abuse is to recognize and acknowledge that it happened to you, and that it matters. It’s very common to remember an unwanted sexual encounter, yet not recognize it as sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is when someone with less power is tricked, trapped, coerced, या bribed into any type of sexual experience. Power imbalance may result from the perpetrator’s age, size, position, experience, या authority and includes kissing, fondling, being forced to touch the abuser’s genitals, anal, oral या vaginal sex, and non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism या sexual comments.
Though आप may not label it as such, the effects are no less present. The attempt to deny the seriousness doesn’t the effects. Just the opposite is true. आप may have low self-esteem as a result of your abuse and might not think it matters that आप were hurt, but your life is important and आप are worth the time and effort it takes to overcome this.
Gaining the Proper Perspective
While it’s common to see the abuse as less serious than it is, it’s also common to see the abuse as bigger than it is. The abuse leaves आप feeling powerless. Often, that feeling carries into the healing process. The powerlessness causes आप to think of yourself as less capable and weaker than आप are. The effects of abuse can seem engulfing, yet आप are stronger than the abuse या its effects. Your survival proves that. You’ve lived through the worst of it and the same strength that preserved your life will help आप build a new one.
Facing the Effects and Envisioning a Better Future
It’s important to see how sexual abuse has affected your life. Go through the symptom checklist Possible Indicators of Sexual Abuse. Don’t get overwhelmed. Instead, recognize the symptoms of victimization for what they are. Once आप recognize how much the abuse has affected you, आप can see how much आप have to gain द्वारा the healing process.
Sometimes it’s hard to visualize a life not consumed with abuse, but try to imagine yourself doing something that आप weren’t able to do before.
Facing the Pain
The pain of abuse can be agonizing and incapacitating. Sometimes, it overtakes आप and it’s impossible to think about anything else. At those times, pain seems like the enemy. आप may try to avoid it through masking या stuffing. Pain won’t kill you, but failing to deal with the pain can या shorten your life.
Pain is a vital tool in healing and will only be eliminated as your wounds heal. It’s meant to be a signal to help आप find the specific areas that need your protection, nurturing and attention. If आप cooperate with your pain instead of fighting it, it will be your ally.
When आप recognize a feeling emerging, try to identify when it started. Understanding the origin of the event या memory can help आप process and work through the feeling.
Even if आप don’t know why आप feel the way आप do, it’s still important to express your emotions. Masking या stuffing feelings won’t make them go away, only expressing them will.
Be careful not to judge your feelings. Feelings are neither good nor bad. They are helpful indicators of what आप believe about your experience. आप will likely experience anger and hatred and many other powerful emotions during this time. The और comfortable आप become in allowing the feelings to surface, the easier your healing will be.
Gathering Your Resources
A support system is vital to your healing. फ्रेंड्स and family members, support groups and/or a therapist can fill this need. आप can’t do this alone. आप suffered alone for long enough and आप need others around आप to heal. Choose people who will take the time to listen without judgment and who help आप feel safe.
Professionals who are familiar with sexual abuse issues not only provide support द्वारा listening but also द्वारा educating आप on the process, though many survivors heal without professional counseling. If आप choose not to seek therapy या can’t afford it, आप will need to learn everything आप can about the subject. Doing so will prepare आप for the journey द्वारा telling आप what to expect and द्वारा affirming your thoughts and feelings. Here is a सूची of recommended reading. Even if आप hire a therapist, आप are responsible for educating yourself and for your own healing. Nobody can do it for you.
Taking the Plunge
आप may be tempted to put your healing on hold while waiting for your abuser to apologize या your family to believe you. Unfortunately, those things may never happen. Isn’t it time for आप to be in control of your own life? Don’t allow someone else to determine when your healing journey begins. Others may not choose to do what’s best for you, but आप can.