In your personal AU, how do आप and Professor Snape meet, and what, if any, words are spoken?

It's in a library. I'm doing research for my paper, "Folktales and Cultural Narratives: The Stories We Tell About Ourselves." In reality, it's "The Kardashians: Will This Menace Ever End?" He sees this and says something to the effect that while the K sisters are annoying, he wouldn't go so far as to declare them a menace. A lively conversation follows.