Riku114 Wall

दिखाया जा रहा हैं 51-60 में से 4838 वॉल एंट्री

Riku114 कहा …
I'm alright and all XD But honestly, I'm so bad at asking for help I dont really promise people I will anymore.

Sister: "Call me if आप ever need help."

Me: "Honestly probably wont."

Sister: "I mean if someones following आप या something."

Me: "I mean I guess I can say Ill probably promise that if Im in big danger I can."

I'm just not used to या really comfortable when I need help actually telling people I need it and actually receiving it. Its not like I dont think I can पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Its just that when I think I should my mouth freezes up, my brain starts telling me all the reasons I shouldnt, and just a bit of personal pride and stuff. Thats kinda why its a huge thing when I go "Hey I need आप help / advice" या "Hey can I be honest about how I feel about this" (<-usually something negative) एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Cos most of the time when I get to that point, it means I put active effort into both getting help and active effort into getting past my natural discomfort and inability to mention it in order to share which is actually a lot of trust XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Its not an offense for me not to since sometimes I just dont feel like getting help and that isnt odd since I like to handle my stuff on my own fairly often, but still XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
*curls up in corner*

Davis dorms wont let me bring my knives

*depression* पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
द्वारा the way I dont think बादल is gonna live too much longer. I think his age combined with his disability and stuff is getting to him. Hes notably weaker lately पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Sorry to know about that. I have been through it. In the end, it is simply innevitable. Pretty sure he lead a contented Life so far. I believe this counts a lot when taken into consideration !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Yeah XD I got him knowing his life span would be shorter than the others and that he was probably not the healthiest due to birth defects. It was pretty much the reason I chose him in fact. Cos the people selling him was tyring ot hind him under a तालिका, टेबल and I knew it would be hard to find an owner that would take good care of him या ones that could take care of him better than me so I took him to make sure that despite his health condition, I could keep him happy and alive as long as he could एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
So if he dies, itll be sad, but Ill be glad I gave him a good life and a better one than he probably would have gotten otherwise. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Am I too flamboyant at times?

*throws glitter in the air* पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
That's a given. I do not believe anyone in here would say otherwise !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Nothing helps और than waking up to having your parents having a really loud stupid argument right in the morning than looking through an old प्रिय JRock band again that आप some how forgot about for a while.

#LetsGoT.M.Revolution पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Fuck I wanted to write and ended up watching Sengoku Basara Game scenes and listening to their OPs again. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
For the record, I did start लेखन एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
It honestly kind of shocks me and scares me at the same time.

Am I going to have an actual friend irl that is close to me?

Of course I have my boyfriend, but theres a difference between that and a friend. Like for a boyfriend, it becomes much like a partner या family member

Like... an actual friend... Its been so long since I've had an actual close friend irl, I dont really remember what it is like पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
So looking into who was the lead writer for the Hollywood Undead songs, most of my प्रिय were made द्वारा Johnny Three Tears followed द्वारा Danny prolly.

Makes sense that most of the ones that I love, have a lot of amazing verses, that also were done द्वारा J3T XD

Seriously tho, J3T's choice in lyrics are amazing. Hes a Milton प्रशंसक too apparently. I might add John Milton's Paradise लॉस्ट to things to do soon prolly. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I've had that book on the चोटी, शीर्ष of my सूची of things to read for a while. I jsut kinda got scared of actually trying to read cos when I fail या cant focus या struggle to it has a chance of making me panic over my mental health progress या my future XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Who here thinks an लेख where Riku and I try to guess each others tentative चोटी, शीर्ष 10 Video Game OSTs would be cool?

Warning tho. She has no time. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Video Game OSTs huh? As someone who loves that particular aspect, I would certainly find it pretty cool. लेखाए like these are always welcome !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
:sad:

Ronnie, A Game Theorist, killed himself and from what MatPat says, he was in a really similar situation to me so I feel the pain since his battle parallels a little too closely to that of which I do. Personality, problems with personality, and role with फ्रेंड्स and all...

Anyone, if आप ever feel like आप need to talk to someone, send me a message. I dont care if Im unrelated या anything into the topic. Ill hear आप out and support आप <3 पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^ Always remember that the same applies for आप too, Riku. We're here for आप !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Once again, my deepest condolences for Ronnie !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
आप ever get anxiety over a good thing? Like... all the physical symptoms of anxiety but like... in no where on bad reasons?

Like chest tightening and stuff... Is that just excitement then? Uncomfortable excitement?

Google, what is understanding emotions? XD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Rihanna312 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Since I have SVD in light form, it sometimes turns good moments into really unpleasant and sometimes even frightening. But it happens rarely and out of my control. But still sucks a lot. Especially when it gets hard to breathe. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I have. Quite a few times really. Mostly because of my worrying that I will mess things up somehow and turn a good thing into the exact opposite. The kind of feeling आप get when आप try something for the first time. It usually subsides when I have already gotten into it !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Shit. Ninja caught Ligma... पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Really, everyone - especially those who are new - just want someone to प्यार and accept them. If आप also can provide the confidence and skill to दिखाना yourself capable of guiding, you'll quickly find there are people willing to follow and heed what आप have to say.

If anything, that is what leadership is. Accepting and guiding. It actually has little to do directly with responsibility या giving out orders या anything. They just tend to come with maintaining those two. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Also at this point, I dunno who I relate to in Pandora Hearts anymore.

They are all relatable in different ways.

With that being said, I think Xerxes and Vincent are my प्रिय XD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
That very fact makes आप quite Relatable yourself XD I understand that !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Me: *watching "Best of Johnny Three Tears Verses"*

Me: Like... all of them? Why not just say "all of Best of J3T" cos his verses are god???"

Honestly I प्यार J3T too much

...

I also may have been geeking out on Hollywood Undead संगीत with my roommate last night since neither of us really ever met anyone else who liked their संगीत पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Rihanna312 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Well... आप may have found another one. :D HU has been one of my fave bands for like 8 years. Recently went to their संगीत कार्यक्रम and yes, there isn`t just one best J3T verse, because he`s आग in all of them!!! But when I think about it I also don`t know anyone in partocular who`d be as big प्रशंसक of them as me. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Rihanna312 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
particular* एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^Yasss और प्रशंसकों एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Im sleepy पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I'm dopey एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I'm both of the above !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Wrote a story for Riku titled "Two Venezuelen Uncles Fliped the universe away to the Beat" but she was too tired and didn't read it. #Shaming पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
It's kind of nice that I can say literally anything to Riku at any time and have zero repercussions. Man I unleash so much shit XD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
What is that game called where आप have a picture of some things and when आप put them together it makes a phrase? पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Why is it so early? पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Me: *tapping my fingers impatiently even though I was told it wont happen until after the fall quarter* HMMMM. WHEN WILL I SEE MY AP CREDIT APPEAR ON MY DEGREE TRACKER FOR COLLEGE पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Time to play a game I like to call "Riku या her bird?"

"Small, cute, with a couple issues that acts tough and is super confident"

Riku?

या her bird? पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I'll say both !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
So बादल also had a badly broken blood feather so I did the procedure myself cos hes old, underweight, and disabled and Im pretty sure theyd want to try to put him down.

#Successful पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
I'm too good at Sonic 3 and Knuckles पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Final Destination probably shouldnt be a childhood nostalgia for me XD

But it is XD I grew up watching these फिल्में and they were like a regular hype and one of the few family traditions. Watched every single one as they came out. Probably watched all of them at least three times each and the pointless gore and creative yet unrealistic gory ways to die just get better.

I dont really like horror या pointless gore, but Final Destination is special पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Im not gonna say its a well made movie, but god do I like watching it XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Riku watching Rated R Gore films since they first came out एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Why do I watch this like a comedy XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Theres just so much solid irony एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
*Final Destination at the Racing Speedway*

"You come here to see a crash?"

"Nah I like to watch them go around and around in circles OF COURSE I want to see a crash" पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
"The trumpet is widely known for drawing in और extroverted children. They can be bold, brash, have nervous energy and even tend to be dominant and ambitious. This is due to the nature of the trumpet, which is usually a lead instrument playing a higher melody."

Yep पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ कहा …
There is something about pandora hearts and bungou stray कुत्ता xD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Oh? एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Is it that it tries to fit 10 volumes of information into the first three chapters of the manga? एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Negative Trait of my Dissociative / Memory Inept Brain: I rarely ever feel the same way I felt when I went to sleep and thus struggle to remain consistent in therapy and conversations and arguments and can rarely hold my ground to long term major decisions that might be hard

Positive Trait of my Dissociative / Memory Inept Brain: I rarely ever feel the same way I felt when I went to sleep and thus pretty much 'reset' each morning despite negative moods / thoughts पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
It actually और so a habit I apparently picked up when I was really young. According to my older sister horrible shit would happen one day, then Id go to sleep and remember none of it. Much less severe these days as its only really my emotions and will and any emotions related to anything the prior day, but its much mroe tame एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And thats regardless of if the दिन was really good या really bad. Very few things actually register in my memory with emotions attached एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Pandora Update

Unsure on Gil. He कहा some relatable shit but like...it kinda like spawned a little thing where I created a और accurate version of what he कहा so like...unsure on Gil पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I tried rewriting the quote but it didn't flow well एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Eh nevermind. No new point for Gil एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I dont think I've ever written a gay couple I प्यार और than Nora and Lu Stevenson in the RP Wanta and I have.

While Nora never appears in the main cast, the two of them make an adorable couple and even cuter and better parents. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Neewwww प्रोफ़ाइल पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
प्यार it. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
It really looks great. I प्यार it as well !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
BlindBandit92 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Noice एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
GDragon612 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
OMG I fucking प्यार it!! *-* एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly, Lucy is so attention needy XD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Seriously tho. Its still laughable my dad thinks आप can get a decent computer for $200 पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Rihanna312 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
This makes me feel bad, because a few months पूर्व I was about to buy a new computer and in my book decent started from €700 and up 😳 Have आप showed him what specifics fall under $200? Maybe he`ll understand that आप can only play solitaire on that. Even there sometimes tends to be really good deals for extra cheap prices. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Oh yeah Im like 99% sure hes trying to low ball me XD Since he refuses to let me input money, he promised hed work with me and honestly I know how to get him to be reasonable XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
In my book, barely decent starts at like $500 and up when on discount XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
If only there was a newly Full Time employee who offered to match whatever आप put in for the computer एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
:v I'm mad at Riku. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
She कहा I'm not allowed to pitch in to get her a good computer for Davis since her dad only wants to pay $200 एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Nah its very easy to pull strings on him. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Humph एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Can someone get me a pillow? Apparently that wore me out from "could sleep but not at all tired" to like...

"Im so tired I cant figure out any new ideas for stories या really create words to speak, I wanna sleep and am yawning every minute" पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
GDragon612 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
welcome in da club riku need so much sleep these days too, feeling that i ate drugs या drunk to much एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
GDragon612 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
kat buys riku a bunch of pillows एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
"Do stuff I guess" - Wantadog2018 पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
हे if anyone wants to know one variation of dissociation and depersonalization, Im right here.

I somehow ended up entirely numb cause my brain kept working me with unnecessary trauma shit and I took too long to determine if I wanted to dig deeper and ruin my mental state for processing something, cutting it off entirely and dissociating unnaturally which is worse than this, या just letting myself sleep and forget it all

And now Im just sitting here pretty darn empty. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And that actually turned out to be a really short thing cos between my boyfriend and Wanta both stubbornly being stupid concerned dumbasses kinda ended up clicking with me and kind of giving my traumatized shithole brain a little bit of what it needed एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Its nice to see some people have my back and genuinely really care for me as much as those two do. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I am honestly tired of PTSD and trauma and feeling extreme anxiety and lack of safety for no reason.

Is there a place I could waiver out of it या like.... give it to one of those tumblr shitlords that think having mental disorders is cool..? पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Fuck. Took way too long trying to decide which way to go with it and now Im just emotionally numb again. Ah well. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I really want to kinda just sleep even though Im not tired या anything. Seems easier that putting effort to keep myself entertained या to dig deeper into that crap pile एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Munakata: "Sorry for making आप do this"

Chisa: "Say my name and it's even!"

Munakata: "No"

Riku: "Sorry for making आप do this"

Wanta: "Call me your best friend and we're even!"

Riku: "No" पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Lefteris: ''Call me द्वारा a nickname like I do for आप and we're even!'' एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Riku: ''Maybe अगला time'' एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I do a lot of things I mean to do out loud just in my head एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
I scared Riku with how badly the Aoi thing is taking its toll on me पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I am so bored पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
#RelatableAsAlways !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
FUCK I WAS PLAYING FORTNITE ON SOLO AND GOT SECOND

THE GUY WHO WON HAD LIKE 5 HP AND SINCE HE WAS RUNNING FROM ME I WAS PRETTY SURE HE WAS LOW ON AMMO या SOMETHING

SO FUCKING CLOSE UGH पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Me: Haha. Yeah the diagnosis with PTSD still is sometimes hard for me to believe since my mind has trouble believing it was really that bad.

Therapist: Well when आप start to सवाल it, just ask yourself [insert pair of सवालों that blantantly Bpoint out that it was very shitty]

Me: *spending the rest of the दिन frequently and randomly getting pulled into fixations and bad memories of कहा shiftiness* Aha... आप are right. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
I'd like to give a quick shoutout to a special person in my life that really has helped me throughout the last couple days when I've been going through a rough spot and facing some big decisions in my life. This person always made me laugh, made me emote even in anger, kept me on the straight and narrow, and even showed me their weak side.

So Remae from the game Spiral Scouts. Thanks! आप made me feel good for a bit.

#BuyTheGame पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
आप really got me there, I must admit !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
So the official final set of diagnoses from the probable last session with my therapist is PTSD with Dissociation, OCD, Trichotillomania, and GAD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Oh and Chronic Stress एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Take the shitty hand आप get dealt, accept it, and make something amazing from it.

Life is really never ever a fair thing. Some people are born with a shit ton of wealth, loving families, and everything they could want. Some people are born in absolute poverty, abusive and broken households, and in the middle of the perhaps a deadly war या gang territory.

The thing is, आप cant really change what hand आप were dealt. All आप can do is adapt and morph it. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I dont have the worst hand. I have a less than ideal and kind of shitty hand but not the worst. As do others who follow this club and all. The thing is though, its possible to change कहा weaknesses into strengths and use it to grow if आप think about it एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Personally, I take the hand I was dealt and use it to push reason to grow and to use it as a basis to let myself reach out to others better. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I'm the kind of friend that to get close, आप have to pay increasing work and effort into understanding and figuring out the bumps that naturally come with being close to me, but once things smoothen out I am also the type to pay it off extremely XD

Cos Im really driven and really goal orientated and good at planning and getting thigns done. Im also really good with mental health and struggles and have heard SO many stories of people both with mental and non mental health struggles पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Monetary issues? I can probably help. Mental health issues? Gotcha. Suicidal? Talk to me, Ill make sure आप walk out alive. Cant get your life together? Lets figure out something we can do. No passions in life? Lets figure out something for आप to work towards. Never seen things in life? Lets fix that. Family issues? Gotcha. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Then even better, if [I] cant help you, I have contacts that probably can help me help you. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Riku is a Formula One.

Im a Ford Pickup thats left in the backyard till आप need a lift पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I dont think Ill ever die TRULY satisfied with life. I can be 90, saved ninty bird species, millions of birds, changed many lives, warped and washed away the stigma of mental health, had a family, mastered forty languages, mastered multiple instruments, mastered multiple combat styles, got multiple PHDs and all that

And I will STILL find things I would have wanted to find more. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
If I dont keep learning and dont keep evolving who I am and developing, I dont feel like Im living. And thats NOT bad. Its WONDERFUL. I feel so alive chasing goals and plans. Its not that whole "Once I get all this, I can relax" - no. Its "Once I get all this, I can explore और of the amazing interests of this world". एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
When I die, Ill be glad I did everything I did and its posisble for me to be at peace (cos theres a chance I wont if its a shitty death) but I dont think there will ever be a time in my life where I no longer have any strict goals एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
That is quite Relatable. It makes me glad to see others feeling that way as well. Life is a constant struggle. Constant Improvement is a major part of it !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Huh. Despite being someone who isnt one to believe conspiracy theories and never was quite into Avril Lavigne, the theory that she died and was replaced ACTUALLY has some notable evidence XD

Its interesting. I could somewhat buy it पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Personally, I try to make it out to be the best that it can be and accept it, but its quite painful and frightening to know your problems with memory and knowing youll probably forget many things much faster than one shout and things no one else would

If आप go off to Davis, will आप actually remember all the fun आप had with people and how much आप care about them when आप return 3 months later? Did आप forget या did it just not happen? What was it like being depressed? What about happy? पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
The bright side of it is I am very nicely trapped in the moment and future plans. I can get myself excited for my goals and plans. I can enjoy whatever is in the moment cos I things that happened a few hours पूर्व feel like days, and days feel like months and months feel like years पूर्व एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Anyways Imma go to sleep एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I am Rikus memory एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Tfw आप FEEL that night time depression sneaking up

But आप ALSO wanna read some Pandora Hearts पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Prolly read some then sleep एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
USB = Unsuspectingly Saucy Butthole पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly shocked and disgusted with people. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Major faith in humanity and फ्रेंड्स लॉस्ट एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Seriously anyone who thinks thats funny and okay is disgusting as hell एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
GDragon612 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
same here एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
One a सेकंड note, Im incredibly disgusted, sickened and pissed off with people from my band cos one of my band children and his family had a small song bird fly into their house and instead of saving it (even when it was easy to save and grab) they decided to FILM the बिल्ली hunting and killing it while finding a shit ton of amusement out of it.

One kid was like "Oh should we grab the hat (that it was sitting on)?" and then the mom owuld be like "No let it hunt" and everyone had cameras पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Like... are they REALLY finding amusement in watching a helpless bird get killed द्वारा a cat that PROBABLY wont even actually eat it? Seriously? I mean its KINDA okay if it did because वृत्त of life, and honestly, I wouldnt mind that bad if they filmed it या something. Because हे maybe its an idea of recording nature and shit. Like a snake eating a माउस या whatever. But the commentary PISSED me off. "Oh let it hunt" "Oh lets watch it" "Oh look it got killed lol" एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And of the 36 people that liked it, only one bothered to टिप्पणी दे "Why didnt आप save it? ;-;" while everyone else either didnt care या found it funny as well एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I could say a lot about this but आप already did yourself. People like these disgust me as well !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
On one note, its Lucys birthday today and he got all sorts of toys and has been गाना all दिन like he knows it is his birthday and its great.

Im glad to have such a wonderful bird in my life...... BUT पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Happy Birthday to him. May he continue to grow and be healthy !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Also, I प्यार the look of slender builds on men.

I'm just saying that.

While I like rounded and curved women cos I प्यार thick thighs and boobs. ((That being said, my taste is much less strict for women than men since I do प्यार the extremely flat too and only a bit less than curved))

Slender builds are great. Perfect hugging size. A bit और to the feminine side. Less domineering look. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I really cant stand the idea of being the 'woman' in a relationship. It either has to be off the charts of being able to figure it out and balanced, या I'm the "man" in it. And personally the big and bulky look, while I dont hate it and its not a deal breaker या antyhing, tends to put me on guard. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And im not saying no to muscles. Muscles are nice too XD I just think slender frames are niceeee. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^^ एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
While I DO प्यार Davis and STILL प्यार Davis and had a wonderful trip there, I do have to say the sheer amount they pushed the liberal ideologies and agenda onto everyone was a little... concerning.

As someone who is moderate, probably a little leaning towards Libertarian, I found it kind of honestly uncomfortable. It was almost cult like to be honest. Talking about lines and verses and explaining what they mean and what they make us feel like and why they are true पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
RATHER than discussing it thoroughly and properly, there was a whole "Do this, या else" and a "This is the objective response to the topic / idea and not subjective, so tell me why its right" एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
It was just so super PC एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I just feel people are too quick to be driven to be nice and make everyone happy and all they miss a chunk of reality एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
When Wantadogs fucked up mind comes up with shit so weird and unexpected that both he and Riku can't even bring up the energy to acknowledge its existence. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
चोटी, शीर्ष that, Davis band chick एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
[Riku gets boners] पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
[Wanta gave Riku a boner] एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
zanhar1 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Put ur weiners away there are aces here :v एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
XD Wanta was denying his ability to write smut, and while it wasnt smut, it was a sensual scene and he did really good so I have to call him out on it cos I got an empathetic boner for my character :v एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Having seen it, I can attest to its Sensuality. Not bad at all. It was certainly a nice part !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
That feeling when the बिना सोचे समझे person आप met in a UC Davis band chatroom is pretty much on a फैन्पॉप Friend level basis with आप and आप openly discuss and share many similarities and opinions on mental health, music, classes, etc.

She noticed my extreme passion and drive to learn :v

Is it really that obvious? Shes talked to me in IM for like... less than a week :v पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I've been replaced already..... एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Hasn't even started at Davis and Wantadog is already old hat एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
#TheOldModel एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Great to know. It doesn't really surprise me. Your Passion on certain Subjects has a way of really standing out. One of your charms. Many in here could attest to that !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
On another note, I tore / bit my finger nails and fingers way too much yesterday out of stress of how annoying the schedule builder was.

My eyebrows are a given.

But my fingers hurt. Especially the right thumb which hurts like a betch, पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
आप shoulda stayed up with me all night XD Clearly the smart play. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
HUNGER GAMES FOR विश्वविद्यालय CLASS SEATS BEGINS IN 22 MINUTES

LETS SEE WHO WINS THE TWO CHEM CHAIRS OUT OF THE LIKE 300 STUDENTS WHO WANT IT

I mean there are और like.... eight seats for like... a hundred people but still. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Whoa. Fortnite got crazy... पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
*lays head down in a depressed manner* पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Put me out of my misery :V पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
आप need to fight it, Rikubun !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Made it to Sacramento XD Tomorrow starts Davis' Orientation पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Let the new journey begin. 👏🏻 एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Also my anxiety over college has mostly subsided now that I found ONE person who I am a lot like and get along with online XD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Personally, if आप ever get concerned of how pointless and meaningless life is, think of it like this.

Life is less like an RPG game या story game

Life is much और like a sandbox game. It has no real point या goal, but it is full of opportunities and game mechanics that allow आप to do so much, experience so much, and explore freely. If आप learn to work the game mechanics well, आप can pretty much do anything.

Heck, if आप work the physics engine पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
आप can do things that might seem impossible एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Its sad that I am so uncomfortable being alone with my parents for और than half an घंटा without something actively distracting me या someone to balance it out / distract me पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Daydream might com in handy.. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
link एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I LITERALLY HATE THAT MY प्रिय खाना IS BIRD

AND THAT MY प्रिय THING IN THE WORLD IS BIRD

WHY HAST GOD FORSAKEN ME पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
LIKE. I COULD STOP EATING PIG. I COULD STOP EATING COW. BUT STOP EATING POULTRY KILLS LIKE 90% OF MY DIET एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
NO BIRD LIFE IS BETTER THAN ANOTHER. ITS LIKE EATING COCKATIELS JESUS. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And no, I dont care. XD Dont get me wrong, I प्यार cows and pigs too. Its just that there isnt the strong instant emotional connection या strong obsession and प्यार that I have for birds that makes me feel guilty wheneveR I eat it XD Plus I dont eat pork and beef NEARLY as much as I do chicken एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I just realized I no longer remember any of the physical abuse I witnessed a lot as a kid huh...

I REMEMBER remembering it. But I dont remember it itself.

I KNOW it happened, but no matter how much I खोजिए my memory files, I genuinely cant find it.

Youd think somehting like that would be embedded deeply but I guess tis the way of repeated trauma. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Same एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
A weak memory in certain situations is blessed I truly believe that because it deletes all the awful things that a person went through. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
laugh
GDragon612 कहा …
Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^ Stay humorous. Stay healthy !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
laugh
GDragon612 कहा …
I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
cool
GDragon612 कहा …
The secret to humor is surprise. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Body = Tense पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Body = Primed एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Body = Naked !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
GDragon612 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
bodycontrol ^^ एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Man being stuck in the situation where आप are not being energized sucks ass. I find that I'm not 100% introverted in that even if I'm alone, I still am not necessarily energized. What recharges my battery is my environment. I could do the same thing with the same people in one setting and not get revved up the same as I do in others पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
But right now I'm not in any environment that gives me energy it seems cuz with each passing दिन I'm और and और worn out and और and और drained. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
A बिना सोचे समझे ramble about one of Wantadogs RP characters.

I just really like Kumau because of how he is the most accurate embodiment of his nation that we have so far. He's a patriot. He can do anything because he has the support and strength of his people, urging him on to new heights. Likewise, his people can accomplish whatever they set their mind to because he is there supporting them with all the power he possesses पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
I am still learning a lot about my mental health and even और specifically on what is normal and what isnt normal and what is likely due to past trauma and shit पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Ugh now Im bingeing Versailles गिटार solos. Why do I have such bad impulse control XD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Called it एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Why does Kamijo look so young? पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Brain: Remember that song that back in 9th grade even though we werent severely या actively suicidal, almost helped आप really screwed up mind and the many fictional things in your head that आप talked to 24/7 that it was both good and okay for आप to kill yourself?

Me: Yeah.

Brain: It was pretty lets go listen to it again.

Me: Okay.

Me: ...

Me: Wait.

Me: THIS IS A TRAP. :v ITS NIGHT TIME AND आप WANT ME TO LISTEN TO A POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS SONG पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
My hobby is spraying myself with a spray bottle या shooting the spray bottle above me and letting the water fall nicely down on me on hot days

It feels so nice पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Quite frankly dealing with the issues that arise on the आइकन Contest and trying to go about them diplomatically is quite a pain in the ass. There is a process Wanta and I go through that makes things relatively simple

Not gonna say the idea of canceling the contest didnt occur to me. Im not going to, but I did contemplate it. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
The bitchy उत्तरों are getting annoying. Stop chewing us out simply because you’re अभिनय suspicious. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^Not even that. Its just the annoying defensiveness. If आप didn't do it, just say so and be like "Hey I think this is a missunderstanding" instead of feeling the need to pull up an entire argument that is just sooooo over the top. एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
link एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Heres the thing though guys.

Its hard to judge someone, या at least it should be. If आप think about it, every person in the world is human - every person in the world has emotions - every person in the world have their wants, loves, desires, etc - every person has struggles.

Some might be smaller than others, some might be insane या invalid. The thing is that somewhere in their head, their behavior and beliefs make sense and are something they feel is necessary, whether पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
they are aware of it या not एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
So personally, I have trouble full on judging someone (at least long term) for things they do and all. Personally, if I wasnt so open and so genuinely trying to figure it out myself, Id probably be disgusted with myself and my actions, but personally, I know I am working my hardest on figuring out what feels right and what is okay. People behave interestingly based on their stories, what they want, what they lacked, what they never had, what struggles theyve been through, या what struggles theyve never had एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Well said. Personally, I always try to place myself in the shoes of others before I judge them. It has certainly दिया me और insight !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
That feeling when आप get up to brush your teeth and grab something to eat cos आप are hungry

But instead go pee, then go back to your डेस्क and now have to try again. Ugh XD पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly Im not even gonna keep it a secret since its not my natural personality to do it

Im पढ़ना Pandora Hearts cos its actually an ऐनीमे I loved and intentionally neglected for years so I could read without much memory of it. It also had a huge impact on me like... three या so years पूर्व so its really interesting

Its likely going have my new आइकन Contest entry पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Hype 👍 !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
REALLY good time at the Fourth of July celebration yesterday. It was a lot of fun and the peopel there were great. Kinda felt like a normal family for once

....

Also I somehow dont remember much of any of it still tho.

Just a huge fog.

Thats the level of my memory पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Riku has really put me into a dilemma. She compared me to a character from an anime/manga I haven't seen so I can't even look into it to see how accurate it is पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Same lol. Although I did some research on each Character. Just for the Personality part though. I'm planning on getting on with this Series soon. Seems quite interesting !!!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^Muahahahaha एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Rikus new विवरण of my personality: "Mopey poutiness" पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Dude, for all the things I find New York to be kinda dumb for, requiring elementary, middle, and highschools to teach their students about mental health is definitely one I am NOT on that नाव for. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
laugh
GDragon612 कहा …
banging your head against a दीवार burns 150 calories an घंटा पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
GDragon612 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
ouch XD एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Being as obsessive as I am is monotonous. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
To be honest, I just want my free meat and chips and soda Ill get at the सड़क, स्ट्रीट party my boyfriend's family invited me to. Like... the carnivore in me is happy. The "Drinks Dr. Pepper Like Beer" in me is happy XD

The me who loves absolutely loud noises is happy especially since the neighbors have a literal तोप they light and try to get the loudest noise out of.

Is it legal? Maybe, maybe not.

Do they keep running it back and forth between the गेराज and the street? Yes. पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
JetBlack_ कहा …
Is चाय even good for parrots? 🤔
I’m watching यूट्यूब 👀 पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Well some but I would typically avoid it since there are a lot of things आप have to keep an eye out for that ARENT in the चाय to make sure they are okay for the bird to have (caffinee, flavors, specific chemicals, etc) एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
It could be good for them if आप find the सुरक्षित ones but not too much to my taste एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
For those that I didnt tell, अगला session with my therapist we are going to go over the possibility of a dissociative disorder diagnosis rather than leaving it as just 'dissociative tendencies' to perhaps make my transfer to a new therapist easier when I get around to it.

So हे we might see if I fit into one या not XD

Cos it might just be C-PTSD. Might have gotten extreme enough to be और than just C-PTSD which has dissociative symptoms. *shrugs* पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes makes me want to die :v पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Trust me. We tried एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
GDragon612 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
boom!! एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog कहा …
Me and Riku are playing Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes.

Riku: "It looks like a वृत्त with a little toupee"

Me: "?"

Riku: "Or like an upside down 9"

Me: "...you mean a six?"

Riku: "...oh ya" पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 कहा …
ME AND MY MOM MANAGED TO CONVINCE MY DAD HE MIGHT BE GROWING A TAIL पोस्टेड एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Oh man, taking advantage on his lack of any science-based education made up for his snotty टिप्पणी दे on the vet bill being not worth it एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
wantadog टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Well if आप think about it... एक साल  से अधिक पुराना