Riku114 Wall

दिखाया जा रहा हैं 11-20 में से 4838 वॉल एंट्री

Riku114 कहा …
"Yeah, youre probably right. [...] Were probably all insane.. broken. But whose fault is that!? The adults are the ones who broke us! आप want to hear the truth? .. We're scared" ~Nagisa Shingetsu (DRAE) पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Was gonna make my प्रोफ़ाइल "Just Riku" entirely cause I felt like it but nah. I felt like mixing it up since I didnt have a Danganronpa-specific background.

... quite shockingly actually. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^ I'm shocked myself !!!! ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
... I just realized now after पढ़ना 'scientific literature' for an Animal Science Assignment a few weeks पूर्व that I find पढ़ना "scientific literature" for psychiatry and psychology as just like... a hobby XD पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Just a reminder of the stream on Saturday 2 PM पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
On another note, getting a double major in Animal Science (Avian and Behavior specialization) and Psychology in 4 years seems a lot easier than Pre-Vet in 3.5 years XD पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED OUT EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR FUCKS SAKE FINALLY THE AMBIGUOUS PIECES OF ANIMAL SCIENCE MATCHED. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Okay so like I am going to complete my major in Animal Science, Avian Science Specialization and BEHAVIOR Disciplinary Focus. All of that is necessary for the Animal Science degree btw. A specialization and a Disciplinary Focus. But listen here - Im either going to minor या double major in psychology just like I used to plan to for the majority of my middle / highschool career and carry on to get a Doctorate in Animal Behavior and / या Psychology and then go into research for the both of them and essentially try to bridge the सवाल marks between animal and human psychology and see how the two could better develop, grow, and understand when looked at each other in a parallel manner. ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
This solves a lot of my issues and pretty much combines my main two interests, obsessions, overwhelming passions, and ties in my otherwise 'random' goals into a larger circle. Like one of the issues with being a Veterinarian was that I felt I would get bored being specialized in that and just working commercially and I wouldnt be learning at the rate I like to. My brain would get bored and Id start to feel like life is dull. As for genetics and convservation, it just seems fun but half baked. I wasnt passionate या THAT curious about it. BUT WHEN आप GO INTO ANIMAL BEHAVIOR AND PSYCHOLOGY, THEY ARE BOTH HUGE PASSIONS OF MINE AND THEY ARE BOTH RATHER UNEXPLORED TERRITORIES SO THERE IS A LOT OF सवालों AND THINGS TO FIGURE OUT ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Okay enough of me being a nerd. I just felt some of youd be curious XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
But yeah for those of आप that dont fully understand how problematic dissociative amnesia is when getting mental help

Therapy: So how was your week?

Me: ??????? I can check my notes if आप like????????

Psychiatry: Okay lets track your progress. In the past two weeks have आप felt this?

Me: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Me: WHAT IS TWO WEEKS. HOW COULD I REMEMBER THE PAST TWO WEEKS. MAYBE IVE BEEN GOOD MAYBE I HAVENT WHO KNOWS पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I can probably maybe answer for "The past two days" confidently at best XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
On a सेकंड note, we have a "stale" (someone who joined the band post-Summer Retreat) and my motherly "adoptive" instincts kicked in and I think he thought I was an "upper" / "returner" for a bit until I was like "Oh yeah Im new too so I know how आप feel" पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
BlueDopamine कहा …
97th. Was waiting to be the 100th, but knowing the growing community fanpop's active members number , this might take forever. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Understandable XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Honestly Ive लॉस्ट a member या two so its kinda been staying around 95-97 for the past long while ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Me: *rambling about पूर्व mental states to boyfriend* Ah... 10th grade was like the most peaceful साल even though I dont remember any of it.

Me: ....

Me: .... maybe it wasn't peaceful after all and I only say it was because of all the years, I dont remember any of 10th grade. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
My boyfriend is too cute to be depressed या mopey when talking to on video chat पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
BlueDopamine टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I'm so जेली ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
The depressing thing is when आप pause for a moment and realize आप wont remember your own proposal. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
"therapist: so how was your week

me: susan i just told आप last time that i have dissociative amnesia i don't know how आप are expecting me to answer that question"

That is such a mood पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I legit take notes ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I will take a note of this and legit not really remember it and in my session go "OH YEAH THAT lol. That was funny." ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I honest to god do not know how most of the world does it. I am trying my damn hardest here to see if I can get myself to ACTUALLY remember a significant childhood memory with genuine episodic memory and all Im getting is a factual, third person, emotionally barren, summary of what it is using the same words that I use to describe it everytime cause its how my mind registers it

How do आप people remember stuff XD पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
How do आप people do this XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Fun stream XD Hope आप guys enjoyed it. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I certainly did. Looking आगे to अगला time as well !!!! ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Im honeslty SUPER hyped to play DRAE for those that can make it XD

I mean Im hyped for the stream but I personally प्यार DRAE a lot and it seems like such a fitting game to play through since there are people I know who planned to go through the story and all and I just appreciate a lot abotu the game

Plus आप might get to hear me growl at [her] पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I might try to हटाइए the weekly time an घंटा या two earlier to see if I can make the time work for और people अगला week. Currently trying to figure out a good time for everyone XD ·9महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
A relatable feeling. Still having mixed feelings about anyone who hasn't gone through the first two Games. Regardless, having just the general idea about the first entry at least will still make the experience enjoyable enough !!!!. ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I decided Imma gather a Live National Dex on PokeBank cause someone on my floor did it and I helped them evolve the last few they needed and it sounded fun XD पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
TFW आप find a song that tears आप between your प्यार of क्रिस्मस and आप प्यार of nicely edgy songs XD

Why so edgy about क्रिस्मस XD Its so nicely edgy that its kinda enjoyable but like :v I like it but :v Why hurt क्रिस्मस like this :v पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Guys पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I might प्यार my man और than birds ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Idk its genuinely hard to say, but I just homestly might. Maybe notably और idk. I shouldnt claim such things when fluffy ·9महीने पहले
Zeppie टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Fluff is the realist yo v: ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I NEED TO STOP GETTING ALL FLUFFY OVER MY MAN BEFORE BED. I NEED TO SLEEP DAMN IT पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
*collects steam cards while working on really long and tedious Animal Science लेख reading* पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I dont think anyone on here really understands how much I प्यार mt boyfriend and how blessed I am to have him in my life.

Lowkey may या may not now be kept up thinking about it पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I cant wait to make him my waifu officially ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Riku: *complains how tired she is*

Riku: *stays up playing Showdown with Lefteris* पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I can not stop listening to तोप in D XD Its too peaceful पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
.... why do I have a better emotional memory for my RP characters than I do for my own life?

XD Like Ive always loved Pachbell's तोप in D, but there was a really sweet scene over a wedding in one of my RPs where it was played and the sheer joy, happiness, and warm peace amongst chaos and terror for the groom was just so great and it boosted how much I loved तोप in D पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Maybe I RPed so much it was bad for me and encouraged dissociation, maybe the reason I could get THAT far into feeling the emotions of my characters came at a huge cost, but I wont say I dont have some good memories and emotions through them. Especially during a time when everything else in the world was distant, numb, and empty. Sure it probably caused some harm, but in the moment it was the savior to my world and I did get some good memories - albiet not mine - out of it ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I used to be a severe maladaptive daydreamer ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
For those that haven't kept up with the polls, if anyone wants to शामिल होइए in and watch me play through some games, I will probably be playing games on Saturdays Pacific Coast Time.

I think this week I might start Danganronpa Another Episode again for आप all XD Time is still to be determined

It depends if I am kept in the football game या not. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
link ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I think Lefteris caught a lot of the first playthrough I did XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And Imma go through [her] again for yall to share the game with आप XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Im so honestly sleep deprived. How am I awake rn? XD पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I'm a Queen. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Nah not really though XD Im so weak to flirtatious begging though. ((Also may have been a bit of a residue from calming down from a snap to which I was five सेकंड्स from making my dad grovel)) ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Honestly, for those that know, Lacie from Pandora Hearts looks almost scarily like Aderis so Im usually really careful about using her icon, but I kind of feel like its a good fit for my mood and honestly I प्यार Lacie XD ·9महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
#Himedere !!!! ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Ah yes, it wouldnt be me coming घर if my dad doesnt throw something.

RIP the cute japanese animal cup पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Actually I dont think the cup broke cause its probably like some really good plastic या something but now theres wine all over the floor which IS NOT my problem. ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Honestly tho. Great boyfriend helped a lot XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
APPARENTLY WE GOT A NEW BIRD TO THE FLOCK पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Awwwww Avery and Lucy were preening each other in an awkward manner XD Seems like they MIGHT be dating XD

Well और like Lucy was preening Avery buuuuut XD Its cute. Theyre growing up. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
.... HMMM

>goes घर and back to college for three weeks before coming back for Christmas
>has a paper due on the 30th
>has a week of marching practice for the last game on the 1st
>has finals on the third week
>dying? पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Also behind as hell in Chem XD But yeah. Ill figure it out XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Also the thing about my therapist is that he calls me out on somethings. Such as "You use your memory as an excuse a lot but आप can remember. आप just dont want to. And even if आप dont know how, it doesnt mean आप cant."

Im not going to lie. I kinda try to hide it from myself but there are some occasions that I know that if I push I CAN remember something but there is a lot of natural resistance to it and just an extreme distaste to thinking about it even just on the surface level so पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I often allow myself to go "Welp, it took और than five सेकंड्स and a tiny tiny bit of effort to remember. Guess I cant remember it". Its not always an excuse that I try to keep from admitting to myself that its an excuse, because a lot of the time I really cant या I can only barely remember या I just flat out dont know how to find the memories या how to connect with the emotions of the time ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
But I do know I compulsively let myself throw the "Cant remember it. Guess we cant think about it" really quickly and often prematurely. ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Im in a constant journey of going to things I find normal and being ".... is that normal या is that part of my messed up mental health" ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Its weird. Being घर literally feels like I was moved to an entirely different world but in a like... good way I think?

Was I really that shit नितंब, गधा dissociated to hell and back at college? पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
It honestly makes college just seem like some odd dream I had या something like that. Its really odd. I mean its not THAT odd for me since cognitive distortions and attachment to the world / my memory has always been odd ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
MY ANKLE HURTS LIKE SHIT FOR SOME REASON XD

I mean it is my hurt one but like :v Its been recovering and suddenly it started hurting again ;-; पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
SilentForce टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Did आप overwork it? ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Probably tbh XD ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Kill me XD Jkjk ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly Im kinda glad I have gotten better at keeping myself from freaking out / getting depressed over things I can't control and things I know Ill manage / survive through. Not to say I do it all the time as well as Id like, but it saves me a lot of breakdowns that quickly build upon one another

Probably a good part of it is actually being on medication, but it is also a good part also just handling myself better I imagine. पोस्टेड ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Cause when आप let your opportunity to relax या have fun because something makes आप upset, आप get even और upset cause of that and it just builds up like a mountain that just doesnt work ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
So yeah. Kinda figured out that for the अगला two years I might be stuck between working and being uncomfortable and relatively isolated to being extremely drained and a bit easily overwhelmed until I can get my boyfriend up north and thus have my environment और stable ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Cause uncontrolled unplanned breakdowns are bad, but like... controlled, timed ones are really helpful and useful when आप dissociate a lot and can get comfortable enough. ·9महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
.... Ive been away from घर for two months and it legit feels like I was only gone for maybe a week at most save for the first few मिनटों of "Holy shit human touch".

Like Im not saying "Everythings just as it was left" cos there actually isnt much. It just legit feels like that whole time vanished :v I know I was at college for two months and it was long and tiring :v Weeeiiiirrrddd पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I swear to fucking god XD My brain better not throw away those two months already. Theres some interesting shit there :v ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Dude so excited to go घर tomorrow XD I get to see my birds again as well as my boyfriend and even some of my old band kids probably \(-- 3 -)/ पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
That is great to know. Have a good time. Make the most of it !!!! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Bad Memory?

Cons: A lot of things mainly obvious

Pro: I can still be surprised at the end of an ऐनीमे Ive already watched twice over पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
.... to be entirely honest I dunno how braced Ill be for Smokey's inevitable death in like.... 5-15 years from now :v

Like Im alright not taking her with me since shes considerably old and well integrated into the current flock cause the हटाइए up north could be dangerous for her and cos my mom can take care of them well, but I dunno. She was a major part of the good things of my childhood that I dunno. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
For all of आप that dont really understand how old parrotss live, even cockatiels, one of the shortest living parrots, Smokey, potentially one of the oldest that I got in the summer of 3rd-4th grade ((was probably a little under a साल old))

I got her when I was about 8. Shes currently about 10 years old, maybe a bit older. She will live anywhere from until Im.... 23 up to 38.

Lucy, who hatched July 2017, is a little over one साल and will live until Im 42 if cared for right. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Maybe even longer for both of them. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly, I am ever thankful for it, but the whole "wounded, cold person who can be helped and fixed to be soft" is a huge trap and like.... 90% of the time it doesnt really go out to the end. A small but notable amount of the population are like "Id प्यार a traumatized partner" या "Oh Id प्यार a yandere" या what not, but its honestly not a good idea

My boyfriend was honest to god crazy for taking the chance with me after half the things I did and staying after I did other things. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Quite honestly if I wasnt stubborn on getting better, it could have easily turned into a long term abusive relationship faster than I could have held myself back. Yeah I have an amazing relationship with him now that we worked through all of that, but seriously... not something आप should put your bets on. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Its honestly kinda gross how romanticized the "cold and cruel traumatized" character is. ·10महीने पहले
Rihanna312 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
This is so true! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Okay so its likely that I actually do have genuine multiple personalities and in this session, for the first time in years and possibly to my memory, I actually roughly experienced a general vague memory that had almost all of the emotion behind it

And while that sounds horrible, its legit what Ive been kind of wanting because its the only thing I have been unable to work on in my mental health cause I resist so naturally against it myself that even in this session पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I had to very forcefully make sure I didnt dissociate या let myself escape it ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
It took him not letting me dodge it and escape it and a very forceful but balanced amount of me forcing myself without letting myself get distracted and escape द्वारा focusing too much on forcing myself ·10महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Very interesting. I see now what आप mean द्वारा him doing a good work !!!! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Man its been so long since I so quickly and suddenly cut off emotion. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
2ntyOnePilots टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Relatable. Good luck ‘big sis- Riku’. Hope that gets fixed up for आप soon. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Well Imma get fucked in the नितंब, गधा द्वारा a 60% weighted final. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Which wouldnt be a huge deal if either A) I didnt get a C+ on the last midterm because of one stupid calculation error (cause I would have otherwise gotten an A) and B ) If I wasnt learning from fucking textbook because my professor has an accent आप cant fucking understand ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
What a fucking दिन ruiner. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^ ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
IM SAD

I CANT शामिल होइए THE "Mental HEalth in Award Winning Movies" FIRST साल SEMINAR BECAUSE IM TOO AHEAD IN UNITS AND CAUSE I HAVE TOO MANY CLASSES

I JUST WANT TO DISCUSS AND TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AND WATCH फिल्में REVOLVING IT :VVVV पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
NOTE TO SELF CALL COUNSELING AND FIGURE OUT HOW LATE I CAN रद्द करें IN CASE MY MIDTERM GETS PUSHED BACK AGAIN.

ALSO FIGURE OUT PASSING PERIOD.

Thank you, this as been a reminder from Riku who wants to go back to sleeping after her classes got canceled at 7 AM and couldnt go back to sleep out of both joy and her brain not letting her since there were things to do because of it. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly Yandere Dev is miserable and I stopped being a supporter cause I kinda gave up on the fact his project would be completed but honestly I might go back to supporting him more. या at least giving his thing a सेकंड chance. I kinda felt bad before but at least hes aware and working on things. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Ugh. When आप are here trying to keep a decent sleep schedule and your roommate wont get off the phone on a school night at 1:30 AM after आप asked nicely at 1:00 AM and just passive aggressively asked again. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
JetBlack__ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Why not use ear plugs? ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Cos I couldnt sleep with earplugs ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I could honestly live with only birds and my boyfriend and I would be happpppy. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I want my flock back ;-; ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
ALSO THE LIKE BURNT / CHAFED / DAMAGED SKIN FROM USING CRUTCHES WITH A TANK चोटी, शीर्ष BURNS SO BAD WHEN I PUT LOTION ON येशु CHRIST I FEEL LIKE ITS ON आग पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
*heavy conversation and analysis about the cooperate religion of BTS*

*sends a बिना सोचे समझे bird video three सेकंड्स after* पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
That actually happened and is the best summary of me ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I swear to god my mom gave me a दिल attack XD

She abruptly started calling me which isnt TOO odd and I was like "Im busy, what is it?" and she just कहा "Lucy" XD

So I quickly dropped everythign and answered it and it was just Lucy hanging out with her and being a really good bird XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I honestly dont understand how people can just sit and piss their life away online.

Id be और producitve if my piss नितंब, गधा brain would function and actually get motivated but the lack of physical movement is making me honest to god unmotivated mentally and thus cant focus या really enjoy anything >.> पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly kinda hate my leg right now. I have a three दिन weekend Im spending being a hermit in my house cause I cant go out anywhere and socialize या so anything. Im literally just sitting on my नितंब, गधा watching anime, watching youtube, and occasionally doing some homework या whatever. No real video games to play since Im still doing Hakuoki and not interested in any others. No real socialization cause Im a cripple. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Without class या band या anything I just lowkey kinda realize how shit as boring life is. I need something to be passionate over या something to learn from या something / someone interesting but Im just fukcing sitting here doing the same thign over and over again. Like wtf ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
If Im just gonna sit and waste these अगला few days can I at least not be involved in it and just fastfoward? I get a bit weird when I realize how monotonous life is and I dont particularly like it ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Krul might make my waifu सूची XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
IM SO SHOOK. WHY ARE MY FIRST BATCH OF ROOKIES DOING SENIOR SPEECHES?! ARENT THEY STILL LIKE FRESHMEN

WHY DID THEY GROW UP ALREADY?!?! पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I request a bird वीडियो in my club's video section if anyone has any. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
"a bird videos" ·10महीने पहले
JetBlack__ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Sure ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
So Im trying to analyze BPD, OSDD-1B, and DID to see if what I do and experience is और fitting to one of the three या just seeing them in the context of eachother and its honestly really interesting. I dunno if Ill post it on "Just Shut Up" या as an लेख but wow.

I could honest to god write a thesis paper on this with how interestingly similar the three - especially BPD and OSDD - are on an outward level. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
#TripleHealRainDishPelipper पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
#SpamProtectAndHealUntilThereIsn'tAnyMorePP !!!! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
>Sugar Daddy Riku पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Lets play the game of "Is this the dissociated part of is that the dissociated part" पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I honestly need my flock back. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Apologies about the Satou Matsuzaka gif spam XD The wiki feature wasnt working पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
No need to apologize over adorable Waifu Gif spams. आप did well !!!! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
FUCK IM SO DISAPPOINTED. HAPPY SUGAR LIFE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE CLASSICAL SHAKESPEAREAN TRAGEDY ENDING WITH THE WHOLE CAST COMING TOGETHER AT THE END AND DYING ALL TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE BUT THEN THEY YEETED OUT OF THE PLAN AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BEAUTIFUL पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
EEEE. ITS ALMOST THURSDAY. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I प्यार therapy so much when I have bad weeks on mental health XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Ive kinda been pulling myself through the way I usually do and kind of using band and the trumpet as a crutch a bit. Cause honestly they give off such a nice healthy environment and air. Its soft and I feel so much और relaxed around them. Like when the topic of mental health comes up its always sympathetic, empathetic, and just "Oh its good to care for yourself" and all and the world just needs so much और of that. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Im very grateful. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Im still honestly kinda कड़वा I was disarmed going to college. I like to have at least one चाकू on me at all times for just general use या for emergency use या just as a bit of a "dont fuck with me" if Im alone at night. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
GOD. Happy Sugar Life thus far is GREAT. Like the stylistic choices to display emotion and mental snaps are really great and as someone who has had very... lets say vindictive / aggressive mental snaps, I feel it is really good representation XD

Also I really like Sato as a Yandere. Better than Yuno I believe. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Holy shit is it amazing. All the characters are mentally fucked and the ऐनीमे goes about its own ways of addesssing it ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And displaying it and I fucking प्यार it but like ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I need to go to sleep XD But Im fucking hooked god help me ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Debating between adding और to characters या watching Happy Sugar Life. I decided that one since it interested me the most even though I am slightly concerned of certain things not workign well with me but... Ya know #Yolo पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Pretty much had a one-on-one sectional practice with one of my section leaders cos no one else showed up and it was actually pretty awesome. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Also I realized one of the best types of people to have around आप in the case आप get into an accident या bad situation is someone with like.... anxiety या PTSD cos we are always either mentally braced या physically braced to deal with it.

Cos dude I have pretty much a first aid kit with me whenever I do anything remotely dangerous XD

Like I heard the bike breaks behind me screech like there was an accident turned around and was like "ARE आप GUYS OKAY I GOT BANDAGES AND SUPPLIES" पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
JetBlack__ टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I am so doing a meme of this xD ·10महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
^ 👌 !!!! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I was most definately not almost late for class despite being there 20 मिनटों early because I got too into checking out the birds and psychology पुस्तकें in the bookstore across the सड़क, स्ट्रीट from my class पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Me @ My Brain: Make serotonin and dopamine आप lazy fucker पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly it feels like I missed three consecutive days of anxiety medicine and while my ability to remember to take medicine the past week has been bad, I do not think I missed three days.

Cause apparently if I miss three days in a row it resets या something and thus I never missed three days in a row since I started taking it like... a साल and a half पूर्व पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Its honestly been a while since Ive been in a point of instability and my mind messing with itself that I have so strongly marked a दिन to 'survive' with it to. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Like this is all minor compared to before and its pretty bad so like.... serious प्रॉप्स to younger me ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
She was a beast to deal with all this ·10महीने पहले
JetBlack__ कहा …
When आप own a Cockatoo someday name it Riku xD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Why XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Im honestly not cut out for living with people other than like.... birds and maybe my boyfriend. I could probably also manage living with my PTSD best friend, but unless Im really bonded and/or really really trust them and are comfortable around them, it takes a huge toll on me in the long run

And things get really hard to manage when Im not fully stable because the small things trigger things to start again that I just have to keep to myself and it greatly slows down recovering. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Cause unless its someone I trust and am comfortable with, I get easily set off when Im not fully stable and I know its usually ridiculous and overresponsive due to being unstable and just end up having to keep it to myself ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
But honestly I cant wait to get my own studio. I can handle things so much easier that way. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
I प्यार my roommates and they are great people but I dont think its that good for me and all ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE UNREQUITED प्यार ROUTES WORSE THAN THE BAD ROUTES

UNREQUITED प्यार SOUNDS LIKE THE MEDIUM ONE BUT IN EDO BLOSSOMS ITS THE WORST पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Okay so Okita and Hijikata are pretty neck in neck relatable ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I decided that after I finish Okitas route Imma take a break and watch Happy Sugar Love. Ive been wanting to watch it for a while and just remembered it now that its finished XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Maybe not actualyl Ill see XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Id probably think Im some Tumblr self diagnoser with all the diagnoses I have but I really dont bring up most of them :v Im actually really shy about askign about them cause I dont wanna be a self diagnoser to the point my first therapist knew I had PTSD for a while but it technically wasnt official for over a साल XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And Im pretty casual with them cause its just a label, something to look into and understand and reflect on, and somethign to aid in planning further recovery progress ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Ooof. Apparently the new trumpet section leader this साल in my old highschool band is hospitalized with a collapsed lung and he has a solo for the fieldshow that no one can replace पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
.... tfw your प्रिय college professor has a lot of negative "Rate My Professor" ratings despite him being literally one of the best public speakers and most engaging teachers???

And its not only me. Like everyone who sits around me also agrees??? पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
How the fuck XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Imma give him five stars when I finish the class cos tbh sometimes I just go to his class for the energy and engagement in the class. Hes a wonderful lecturer and its a good escape from life for a bit XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly glad I have chickens this morning for lab cause my brain is being fucking retarded cause yesterday was long and a bit problematic plus I got half the amount of sleep I usually do >.> पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Starting therapy again after 3 months off and shit is messing with my mind a bit :v ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
She was such a precious hen ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Also Okita is too relatable too XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Me: I shoudl actually get a referral for psychiatry before I come close to running out of medication and risk having to go over three days without it. Imma go get that appointment

Me: *goes to the health website*

Website: We have these appointments tomorrow. If they dont work, contact this number for assistance

Me: O-O HOLY SHIT आप DONT HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK PLUS FOR A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT? IS THIS WHAT NOT SUPER SHITTY MEDICAL SERVICE IS?! पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
#DowntownDavisDay पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I miss my better half XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
My mentally-healthy lifestyle is harder to manage without him XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Cause honestly Im actually like.... 5x और efficient with my time and और productive and और active. I actually study a bit, Im ahead on my homework, and I work well on my projects of interests because I dont spend time just laying down doing nothing या napping या taking pointless walks या other things that are otherwise considered inefficient usage of time ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Personally I just dont have much of anything better to do XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Bro I need to chill XD

I mean I know I did most of my homework today that I had to do tomorrow so I can make Thursday an almost free day

But like... When I suggest we play something casual and shit like Sims again

Dont go off and be like "Nah we could work on developing characters more" and almost start doing it when आप have a damn headache XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Me: *explaining to my innocent roommate about THAT corner of tumblr*

Her: Doesnt it trigger आप ever?

Me: It actually has in the past but yeah

Conversation: *turns to topic of she who should not be mention*

Me: ha..hahah....ha. No brain lets not get like this पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Cntrl Alt मिटाइए that. I do not need to think about it XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Roommate: Do आप ever write down your feelings या anything?

Me: Do आप want to see what it looked like when I did?

Roommate: .... with how आप कहा that, Im honestly scared and will decide to pass on that. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Boi between TwinkleStar mentioning it and Okita's route, Im really remembering how bloodthirsty I used to get when I was really emotionally and mentally unstable. पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Honestly as much of a shitty developer that YandereDev is, he hired a good person to create a good theme for the Delinquents and I really honestly प्यार the theme for its composition and shit पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
:vvv That feeling when आप go to sleep and 20 मिनटों later your trumpet chat has one of those great night time बिना सोचे समझे bullshit discussions and now आप wish आप didnt sleep :v XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Also my new therapist feels OCPD is a और fitting diagnosis than OCD (excluding the fact Trichotillomania is a subtype of OCD) पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
To be honest might look और into it and discuss it और with him at some point but I lowkey dont want to accept it XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
If I do have it (cause we barely talked about it in the run through of who I am on the first meeting) but I dont want to add one और general branch of disorders to my सूची XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Imma be sad is I become an even larger ball of mental health XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
:3 I served as a pivot point for moving my roommate's दिन from depressive as fuck to good again :3

It did cost my Hakuoki time I had scheduled but its nice to see I could help.

Shes now talking to her aunt about stuff and आगे planning and thats good :3 पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Me: Well shit having trouble sleeping

Me: I guess Ill just do the entire week's worth of Econ homework ahead पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Homework shouldnt be as calming as it is XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
My brain was keeping awake festering on dumb anxieties so I just fed it something else to think about and be busy with XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
BTW GAD is short for Generalized Anxiety Disorder ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I relate to Okita's Tuberculosis rn with how bad my lungs got fucked up द्वारा my cold XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
Personally I feel that the older आप get, the larger the responsibility it should be for आप to provide for the younger generations. Not necessarily so strictly as said, but its part of what makes humans special. We are so capable at passing down information for years to come.

Its the responsibility of older members of society to provide as much learning experience to their youngers so progress can keep moving and everyone's life in net can be easier पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
In that way, its an older person's responsibility to guide and help the younger people as much as they can because as someone who is older, आप have a higher ability to be stable and have learned how to manage your own life. On the other hand, kids to young adults are shakey on it and just a little aid in that struggle can leave a large impact ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Its a bit why Im always a mother that adopts younger people a lot to be honest. I may only be a साल या two older often, but everyone could use a "big sister" "big brother" या "parent" and such a relationship dynamic can help a lot. ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
And Im not saying responsibility like I usually do where its something I know is probably toxic and I feel I have to. I think its just a good rule of thumb. We ourselves might not have our lives together, but और often than not, I feel they are और लॉस्ट in life. Some might not have faced the major things like money, work, and all, but if आप think about it, a little kid loosing his प्रिय toy is super distressing and that in itself is something weve learned to handle and thus its our responsibility to help them and guide them in their way ·10महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Amen to that !!!! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I think I succeeded in taking a break today पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
Mainly because my dormmates were out pretty much all दिन and thus I was able to finally have a दिन to just relax and all so its KINDA cheating, but fuck I did it XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
So I didnt really overcome my mental health obstacles and stuff like I wanted and what would normally be the situation, but I did at the very least complete the task of giving my brain a break and taking a दिन to just relax XD ·10महीने पहले
TheLefteris24 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
A cookie has been earned !!!! ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
YEp Souji shows potential for beign relatable too as I expected XD Im starting his route now पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
I honestly प्यार my boyfriend and how much he accepts my weirdness and bullshit XD He literally just openly accepted and went along with me calling him "my uke" XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे…
He is quite honestly just everything I could ever want in a partner and stuff I didnt think were necessarily even possible to actually find XD ·10महीने पहले
Riku114 कहा …
BFRBs + Athletes foot REALLY isnt a good combo XD पोस्टेड ·10महीने पहले