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added by aitypw
added by aitypw
added by jelenabones
added by jelenabones
added by jelenabones
1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes आप make me so mad i wanna throw आप in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style आप wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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added by KaoruRocks123
posted by BellaCullen96
Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
Write fake प्यार notes and slip them into people's lockers
If someone near आप falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
Lay a paper towel roll on the floor at the चोटी, शीर्ष of the steps and give it a kick, making sure you've taped the loose end to the floor already....
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added by 27-5
For my friend.

If आप climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a सांड, बैल from the front, a horse from the rear या a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean आप have to offer it a place to sit down.

If आप find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles....
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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' द्वारा Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD

Dear Connie,

I know the counselor कहा we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The दिन आप left, I swore I'd never talk to आप again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always आप who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you....
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I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping गाड़ी and switch the items with stuff from the person अगला to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen आप in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of आप on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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posted by 1-2vampire
The Brittish Nursery Rhyme about Bloody Mary - Mary Tudor - या Mary I.

Mary Mary quite contrary,
how does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row

We thought it was about a girl named Mary who liked gardening या something - WRONG.

It is in fact about Mary Tudor, or, और commenly reffered to as Bloody Mary.

Contrary - Means changing things just for the sake of it (Mary Tudor changed Britain back into a Roman Catholic country after her father and her brother changed it into a Protestant way)

How does your Garden Grow? - Mary wanted a baby very badly, but she...
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posted by lalaland101
every घंटा of every day, gamblers lose $696,000 in Las Vegas casinos

south africa fad: some boys in cape town have their upper teeth extracted to look cool

at last count, the U.S. had 612,020 fast खाना cooks and only 393,730 farm workers

sean connery and lionel richie both keep their oscars in the bathroom

a heated jawbreaker, जॉब ब्रेकर can explode when bitten into

studies दिखाना that covering a wart with duct tape is और effective than having a doctor remove it

your और likely to die on your way to buy a lottery ticket then आप winning the lottery

a glass bottle can take as long as 4,000 years to decompose

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added by j1edwardcullen7
fuck, fuck, fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo... lmao
बत्तख, बतख
कंगेरू, कंगारू
added by r-pattz
added by fatoshleo
Source: tumblr.com
added by Tay_27
posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this!

Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When आप arrive at the अगला stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If आप are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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