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10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा cut into six pieces या twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

8 A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did आप get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"

7 A person went into the office रसोई, रसोईघर one morning and found a new blonde girl painting...
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1.Complane of sever stumic cramps until आप are seen to द्वारा a dotor या nurse then when they approach आप say "wow doc i feel way better thank आप " then for added crazyness walk out backwards

2. Run around screaming that आप dont whant to see the dentist

3. One word for आप flatulance

4. Ask repetedly if they are gonna operate on आप

5. Pretend to be a doctor

6. Whenever a nurse passes make a swit swoo noise या say "helooo nurse "

7. Run around the hallways wearing an alien mask

8. When the doctor comes kick him in the shin then say " HOW DO आप LIKE IT HAHAHA "

9. Run in wearing a leotared your face...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary फ्रेंड्स that आप talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by mercedes_xoxoxo
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as आप walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at आप for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like एल (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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1. At the movies: When आप meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are आप doing here?
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t आप try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When आप ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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NOTE: These "facts" have not necessarily been verified. They are just for fun.

1.If आप keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

2.San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move.

3.Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical मछली stores.

4.A Wisconsin फोर्कलिफ्ट, forklift operator for a Miller बीयर, बियर distributor was fired when a picture was published in a newspaper दिखा रहा है him drinking a Bud Light.

5.More people study English in China than speak it in the United States of America (300 million).

6.For every person on earth, there are an estimated...
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added by McDreamyluva
Source: 2sleep.com
posted by KatiiCullen94
Beg for a प्लेस्टेशन 3 every time आप with her while withdrawing money
Borrow her panties. Tell her about it a week later. Make sure to tell her that you’re sorry, for added effect.
Play Thunderhorse on गिटार Hero. Forever. Only Thunderhorse.
Lick her nose. When she tells आप to stop, promise to do so, but do it anyway. It’s okay. It was just a white lie.
Flirt with anything with two legs. Make sure to make obvious glances to your girlfriend while आप do. Speak with hushed whispers.
Invite her to a movie. When she shows up, tell her आप changed your mind and would rather go visit your...
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posted by simpleplan
There are many words i could use to describe how I feel about आप right now. None of them are nice

To know me is to प्यार me, to hurt me is to dig your own grave.

I want a tazer =)

Has gone to play in traffic.

Is breathing oxygen

I don't have anger issues...You have acceptance issues.

You can ई मेल your complaints to gofuckyourself@idontgiveashit.com

Is wondering if people are two-faced, does that mean आप get to slap them twice?

Has new boxing gloves and a nasty temper, fancy your chances???

I like it when people give me a reason to nurture my dark side

SMOKING SAVES LIVES ... It stops me strangling...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by 27-5
added by GaGaBoi
Source: GaGaBoi
added by BartyJrLvr
posted by 7things
How can आप get four सूट्स for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.

How do डायनासोर pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.

What do आप call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do आप call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.

How do आप make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.

How do आप make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

How do आप prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!

How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.

If a long dress is evening...
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Ok so me and my friend प्यार the mall but what makes it और fun are the following

-When your लॉस्ट looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could आप please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)

-When आप go into a store adress your friend द्वारा a differnt name and have a weird personality

-if आप go into one of those store that plays the संगीत REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but आप and ur friend.

-Have weird conversations about बिना सोचे समझे things. like terrorists या something

Have fun with फ्रेंड्स at the mall!
not द्वारा me n thnx for readinnnnnnnnnn........♥♥

ll around us, everyday, there are two groups of people that many believe to be different. Not so! Teen-agers and Seniors have a lot in common. If it's accidentally putting their shoe on the wrong foot या putting their foot in their mouth, there are instances of conduct that are very similar in both groups.

For example:

Both groups like to hang out at fast खाना restaurants and shopping malls.

Both groups have developed their own "walk."

Both groups like to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

Both groups seem to have questionable facial hair.

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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four सवालों to determine the level of your intellect. Your उत्तरों must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating या wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: आप are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in सेकंड place.
In which position are आप now?


If आप answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. आप overtook the सेकंड runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the अगला सवाल try not to be so dumb.

2 : If आप overtake the last...
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posted by मिलोरोक्स18

1.We got off the टाइटैनिक first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character या the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing....
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus