“ Killing someone with a spoon is not bad, but I prefer the chainsaw it's faster.”
~ Serial Killer on spoons
आप found out आप hate someone. No, not just hate. आप FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, आप wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then आप be like "omgomgomg" and then आप get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing आप can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But आप प्यार Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, या maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... द्वारा SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, आप need a good Spoon...like a big सूप Spoon. 2) Find the person आप hate / या someone that आप want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure आप take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether आप hate that someone या not. But आप do hate them. That's why आप are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do आप own a kitten?
* Do आप like honey?
* How far away are आप from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do आप have a family?
* Why don't आप have a family?
Of course, none of these सवालों actually matter, only whether आप hate that someone या not. But आप do hate them. That's why आप are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
आप need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on या just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). आप need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating या taking a bath या something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
~ Serial Killer on spoons
आप found out आप hate someone. No, not just hate. आप FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, आप wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then आप be like "omgomgomg" and then आप get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing आप can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But आप प्यार Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, या maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... द्वारा SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, आप need a good Spoon...like a big सूप Spoon. 2) Find the person आप hate / या someone that आप want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure आप take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether आप hate that someone या not. But आप do hate them. That's why आप are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do आप own a kitten?
* Do आप like honey?
* How far away are आप from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do आप have a family?
* Why don't आप have a family?
Of course, none of these सवालों actually matter, only whether आप hate that someone या not. But आप do hate them. That's why आप are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
आप need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on या just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). आप need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating या taking a bath या something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
10) cuz they are cool (literally), i mean, they live on ice flows
9) flying is overrated anyway
8) dude, they can swim!
7) they waddle
6) they're always dressed for the occasion
5) the guys care for the eggs (awww! devoted daddies)
4) they upchuck their खाना (and they don't think it's gross)
3) they waddle...oh, i already put that, didn't i?
2) they have a tv show! (the penguins of madagascar)
1) because they are PENGUINS!!!! nuff said
Ok so me and my friend प्यार the mall but what makes it और fun are the following
-When your लॉस्ट looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could आप please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)
-When आप go into a store adress your friend द्वारा a differnt name and have a weird personality
-if आप go into one of those store that plays the संगीत REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but आप and ur friend.
-Have weird conversations about बिना सोचे समझे things. like terrorists या something
Have fun with फ्रेंड्स at the mall!
-When your लॉस्ट looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could आप please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)
-When आप go into a store adress your friend द्वारा a differnt name and have a weird personality
-if आप go into one of those store that plays the संगीत REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but आप and ur friend.
-Have weird conversations about बिना सोचे समझे things. like terrorists या something
Have fun with फ्रेंड्स at the mall!