25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If आप don't straighten up, I'm going to knock आप into the middle of अगला week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I कहा so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me और LOGIC .
"If आप fall out of that झूला, स्विंग and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure आप wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give आप something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.
"Will आप look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that पालक is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told आप once, I've told आप a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the वृत्त OF LIFE.
"I brought आप into this world, and I can take आप out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop अभिनय like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like आप do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when आप get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If आप don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't आप think I know when आप are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If आप don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.. Do आप think आप were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When आप get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One दिन you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If आप don't straighten up, I'm going to knock आप into the middle of अगला week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I कहा so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me और LOGIC .
"If आप fall out of that झूला, स्विंग and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure आप wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give आप something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.
"Will आप look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that पालक is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told आप once, I've told आप a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the वृत्त OF LIFE.
"I brought आप into this world, and I can take आप out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop अभिनय like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like आप do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when आप get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If आप don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't आप think I know when आप are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If आप don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.. Do आप think आप were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When आप get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One दिन you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But आप sir, When you're born you're PINK, When आप grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When आप go in the sun आप turn RED, When you're cold आप turn BLUE, And when आप die आप turn PURPLE. And आप have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...