xD

1)"Why, do आप find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I प्यार the सेकंड grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and आप actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a वृत्त that had its two sides gently compressed द्वारा a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...

41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If आप have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your फ्रेंड्स come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary फ्रेंड्स that आप ask their opinion of everything.

7. After आप have your bath, लपेटें a bath towel around आप and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...

1) Lick your best friend's foot for 10 seconds
2) Rub glue on your face and stick various things on it.
3) Go up to a बिना सोचे समझे strange and ask them for $50 dollars for a nose job
4) Go to a public bathroom and sit on the floor and when someone walks in yell this "GO AWAY! CAN'T आप SEE I'M CLEANING!"
5)Put on a strange outfit and stand on the side of the road and throw pretzels at passing cars
6) Go to Wal-mart and go to a worker and have a conversation that goes kinda like this
YOU-Excuse me. Do आप guys sell like everything? WALMART PERSON- Yeah. YOU-So where can I find the cars? My son wants a...

just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped द्वारा terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds चुरा लिया it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket चुरा लिया it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...

This is A TRUE STORY AND IF आप DON'T PASS THIS ON आप DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All दिन long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...

I found this online :)

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read सवालों aloud, वाद-विवाद your जवाब with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that आप can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this सवाल on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious...

Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für मांद, डेन Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...

ENRIQUE IGLESIAS


"Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)"
(feat. Ludacris & DJ Frank E)

I know आप want me
I made it obvious that I want आप too
So put it on me
Let's remove the अंतरिक्ष between me and you
Now rock your body
Damn I like the way that आप move
So give it to me, oh oooohh...
Cause I already know what आप wanna do

Here's the situation
Been to every nation
Nobody's ever made me feel the way that आप do
You know my motivation
Given my reputation
Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm loving you
Oh आप know
That tonight I'm loving you
Oh आप know
That tonight I'm loving you
Oh आप know
That tonight...

Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are आप up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any कचरा, जंक, रद्दी खाना या soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...

1. Everytime your reach a new floor, scream "Glory hallelujah! We will reach the promised land!!!"

2. Interrogate people as if आप worked for the FBI.

3. Make wild turkey noises and when people tell आप to stop, say "You have no respect for animal rights, do you?"

4. Sing your प्रिय song and when people get annoyed, sing louder.

5. Follow बिना सोचे समझे people off and tell them what to buy every मिनट या so. If आप get in trouble, say आप were helping the person make educated choices.

6. Press every button, and try and get off, then, speak into your कॉलर and say, "Houston, we have a problem, floor#__...