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posted by BellaCullen96
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to हटाइए on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When आप leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe आप embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using...
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 I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down नाव in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...
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posted by Little_Cullen
O.K, so the other दिन we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, आप know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once और at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure द्वारा now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!
okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on फैन्पॉप for F.S. soo आप can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to शामिल होइए F.S. आप must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. चाय is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...
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posted by TDIlover226
1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand अगला to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't आप even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, आप need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with फ्रेंड्स then run up and sit between them and go...
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added by Heya
video
बिना सोचे समझे
added by BiteMeCullen107
Chapter one
Okay this is a really बिना सोचे समझे stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, आप have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” कहा my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find और crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? आप are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
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User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No आप are a robot times 1000000.


User: No आप are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and आप are a robot.


User: User: आप robot.User: आप robot.User: आप robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. आप are the robot here.

User: User: आप robot.User: आप robot.User: आप robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... आप computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So आप admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




लोल yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do आप hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be घर for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and आग hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: आप better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell आप why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired द्वारा their family and फ्रेंड्स and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented द्वारा the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The सेकंड is the garden goat,...
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My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The संगीत कार्यक्रम Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 घंटा Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There गाना I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're सीट Ooh K Then मक्खी, ड्रैक, ड्रेक Sad आप Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There मक्खी, ड्रैक, ड्रेक Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The प्रशंसकों प्रशंसकों Was गाना Along Giving Him फूल Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For पढ़ना And You're Comments
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's दिन together. Emily had cooked a stupid रात का खाना and they ate on a log द्वारा candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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posted by EllentheStrange
ok,this is a clean one!I'm not letting David help me with it,so some of them will be crappy.

1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that आप have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask सवालों to a magic 8 ball and take the जवाब seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when आप find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when आप see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a बिना सोचे समझे person!
raindrops on गुलाब and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things,

cream coloured ponies with crisp सेब strudels doorbells and sleybells and snitzel with nudels
wild geese that fly with the moon with there wings these are a few of my favourite things,

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favourite things,

when the dog bites when the bee stings when Im feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite thing
and then I dont feel so bad
Chapter 3 The cult


“What are आप on about?” I was shaking with anger. How dare she say what I am and what I'm not “Stuff you” I wanted to say much worse. I walked away from her. Suddenly James was in front of me, smirking at me then he slowly vanished. I had to get out of here. द्वारा the time I come back it will be too late.

I was walking down the empty सड़क, स्ट्रीट the sun had set already. How long have I been walking for? I did not even feel tired. Some how I ended up at the park... thinking of Hannah, I walked past where it all happened Hannah screams echoed inside my head. I felt nothing...
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posted by justinfangrrl
Ya' know how everybody thinks fairytales and magic aren't real? Well, I beleive in them!
I'm not talking about santa clause, tooth fairy and easter bunny kinda stuff... I mean like ghosts, यूनिकॉर्न and things of that sort.

Everybody in my family has seen SOMETHING. and don't call me crazy. =(

Why is it so inconceivable that these things can't exist? Why is it so hard to believe that a big hairy man walks around in the woods? It could be like a woodland ape!

What's wrong with thinking यूनिकॉर्न are real???! Who कहा they have to have magical powers? It's pretty much just a beautiful horse...
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Okay so my twin sister Sassikassi is annoying and this is what she does to me and other people!
*She throws खाना at me
*She plays baseball with my sandwiches
*She asks stupid सवालों (ex: What do पुस्तकालय cards do? btw she does not have any medical condition for that I think she trys to embarass me)
*She trys to embarass me
*She tells my secrets to everyone
*She beats me up
*Shes a crybaby I cant remember a दिन when she hasnt burst into tears
*She gets me into trouble
*She yells at me for no reason
*Basicly she is not who आप think she is