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posted by Bananaaddict
6
Okay, though आप can't necessarily tell द्वारा the title, this will mostly likely become a mindless rant at some point. It's gonna be about grammar. :D

So, this is "texting language" as I see it. Forever पूर्व (okay, maybe several years ago), the only texting available on phones was the type...well, I'm not very familiar with phone terminology; let's say the type where आप press the numbered buttons multiple times to get different letters. That's how text speak was born, since people didn't want to waste their precious time typing whole words (God forbid). Why didn't they just call each other, you...
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i didn't try any of this but readers don't try this stuff cuz u could get in a lot of trouble
and i made all this up my self

1. if your teacher asks u 2 get them a pop go get 1and on your way back shake it up like crazy

2. cosplay as iceland from हेतालिया and call every 1 dear brother

3. sit like एल from death note does

4. call every 1 kira when your teacher tells u 2 stop say that sounds like something kira would say

5. when a teacher asks u a सवाल u reply pasta

6. change your name every दिन @ school and when your teacher या some 1 else calls u द्वारा your real name say that's not my name and if...
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I'm putting two funny लेखाए together in one, hope आप enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I प्यार deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would आप know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what आप need, and I'll tell you...
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posted by bubblegumm16
7
Step 1. Guys like to see the girl's true feelings, so don't be ashamed to share them.

Step 2. दिखाना the guy आप like a side of yourself that nobody else has seen before, but don't give yourself away too much, या you'll get every guy except for the one आप like.

Step 3.Don't try to make the guy jealous. That might give him the wrong impression, and drive him away.

Step 4. When आप are around friends, drop a hint या two, about the things आप like, so they can surprise you.

Step 5. Don't change for him. If he likes आप enough, he will like आप for he way आप are.

Step 6. When he asks आप to go on a...
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posted by Ashley-Green
21
रोटी IS DANGEROUS

Why? Judge for yourself:
Research on रोटी indicates that

1. और than 98 percent of convicted felons are रोटी users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all रोटी was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. और than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours...
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posted by sierradawn9
13
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He कहा he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I कहा "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give आप the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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1) I can't reach my license unless आप hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3) Aren't आप the guy from the Village People?

4) Hey, आप must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5) Are आप Andy या Barney?

6) I thought आप had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer

7) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8) I pay your salary!

9) Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10) Do आप know why आप pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11)...
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posted by ciaraluvsjustin
1
1.Grimace painfully,while smacking your forhead and say"Shut up all of you,just shut up!"
2.Crack open your ब्रीफ़केस या purse,and while peering inside,ask"got enough air in there little guy?"
3.Meow occasionally.
4.Stare at another passenger for a while,then announce in horror,"You're one of THEM!!" then back away slowly and scream until they get out of the elevator.
5.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
6.Make explosion noises whenever someone preses a button.
7.Drop a pen,then wait until someone picks it up and scream"THATS MINE.
8.Bring your camera and take pictures of everyone on the elevator.
9.When the doors close,say to the person अगला to you"Its OK.They open up again"then give them reassuring hug.
10.Swat at flies that don't exist.
posted by ShiningsTar542
1
When आप run into the guy आप like at school, do आप feel nervous and turn bright red?

That happens to some girls, and others start laughing nervously. Sometimes आप try to start a conversation. And for sure no matter what, when the guy आप like is close by, your दिल starts beating fast.

What should आप do when आप are in this situation?

The first thing to remember is that not everyone is looking at the two of आप when आप talk to your crush. No one can read your mind and so don't act like आप have committed some sort of crime. If आप act nervous and weird he won't know that आप like him!

If...
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posted by hatelarxene
10
Since Shake it Up has ended (thank goodness), I've decided to write a review on it. This दिखाना sucks. Big time.

link
Yeah... People of that moronic दिखाना expect me to call THAT music? That whole song या whatever the hell that was was nothing but auto-tune & editing!

They are awful actors, shitty singers (they don't even sing), and the characters are complete Mary-Sues! As for their dancing... please! All they do in that दिखाना is हटाइए around & look like a bunch of monkeys. I've watched plenty of solid dancing movies, & let me tell आप that these dancers are horrible, and no way in hell...
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posted by LidiaIsabel
5
This लेख belongs to link on Tumblr.


A quick run-down should आप ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.

1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants आप dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words आप should YouTube, should आप get the chance
-“Kevin सूअर का मांस, बेकन in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see...
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प्रॉप्स to my friend, आप know who आप are, for the idea and the inspiration. Thank आप so much, आप are awesome :)

Perfection.
That's a word all of us have, या will have, tried to accomplish. I'm pretty sure one of आप out there's trying to be the चोटी, शीर्ष of the class या चोटी, शीर्ष of your sports team या getting the attention of someone या trying to make your parents proud या something. And I'm pretty sure once या twice one of us has failed. We've all felt insecure at one point, felt misery, darkness and pain. We've all felt the need to take our lives away या draw blood या run away या something of that...
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posted by karpach_13
2
Fake carsickness.

Lean back in your सीट on the person behind you.
Ask. Are we there yet? Every 5 Minutes.

Have arguments with someone in the car.

Stick your head out the window like a dog.

Sing with the radio loudly even if आप don’t know the words.

Actually get carsick.

Play with every gadget आप find in the car.

Have belching contests.

Accelerate and brake every 4 seconds.

Count to 10 before going at a stop sign.

Run a yellow light but change your mind while आप still can.

Drive down the left turn lane.

Slow down when आप see a sign that says, “bridge may be icy,” especially in the dead of summer....
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प्यार and Marriage:

"If falling in प्यार is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where आप have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an ऐरो या something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how आप smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...
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posted by cute20k
17
Im swimming through the shadows
Try to escape from my fears
It's okay I'm fine
Ignore my tears.


Im dashing down the never ending hall
They might as well paint my fears on the wall
Whose gonna catch me when I fall
When I trip
Over the darkness

And don't let my smile fool ya
Cuz im just too sad to cry and
On the inside I am dyin'

Its like Im dying in my sleep
Im slowly killed द्वारा my dreams
Just remember that everything's never as it seems..

I could cry but say everything's alright
I'll just smile to get through the night.

Everything may look like it's going okay
But u can look past my smile
And its like nothings...
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haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around फैन्पॉप and around the world :D


Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 मिनटों looking at the नारंगी, ऑरेंज रस box because it कहा "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over...
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posted by breebree446
45
A: Best Girlfriend/Boyfriend any one could have
B: Loud and likes to have fun
C: Regret losing
D: Really lovable
E: Sexy
F: People प्यार you
G: Never let people tell आप what to do
H: Have a very good personality and good looks
I : Hard to get
J : People Adore you
K : People cant help but check आप out
L: is really pretty
M: Easy to fall in प्यार with
N : Awesome kisser
O: Best kisser ever
P : Is really fun
Q :A hypocrite
R: Loves to kiss
S: Loves to smile
T: Loves music
U: Really like to chill
V : Not judgmental
W: Popular
X: Never let people tell आप what to do
Y: Worth waiting for
Z: Good in bed
posted by Shelly_McShelly
11
1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

6. Farmer Bill Dies in House

7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

9. Stud Tires Out

10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

13. British Left waffles, वेफल्स on Falkland Islands

14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

15. Eye Drops off Shelf

16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids...
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When life gives आप lemons, make नारंगी, ऑरेंज रस and leave the world wondering how the heck आप did it.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.

If at first आप don't succeed, destroy everything.

An सेब a दिन can keep any doctor away if आप throw it hard enough.

Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 और letters in the alphabet.

Do आप believe in प्यार at first sight, या should I walk द्वारा again?

Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"

Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.

My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered:...
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(From Shovel Knight)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYY!!!!!!!!!! PLAGUE KNIGHT..... V.S! TREASURE KNIIIIIIIGHT!

BEGIN!

Plague Knight: Explosions and toxin, boom hehehe!
I'm about to kick your ass, as आप can see
I make potions and poison, and I spread the plague
You can't touch this b**ch, turn now and walk away

I live in solitude, my soul dismantled
Your something I'd find on the discovery channel
I don't have much armor, but I'm faster than you, big chest!
And I take special hits so well, it's like I'm wearing an assault vest!

Treasure Knight: Who the hell sent me this pathetic blob?
You should...
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