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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can आप tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The जोस्टिक, जॉयस्टिक is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her और attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do आप say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are आप boys all in the same band?
A3: Do आप guys all play for the Green खाड़ी, बे Packers?

Q: How do आप make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The और आप bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a बीयर, बियर bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and स्पघेटी, स्पेगेटी have in common?
A: They both wriggle when आप eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do आप get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do आप call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do आप get when आप turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the सड़क, स्ट्रीट when the sign कहा "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a कोट hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because भेड़ can't bring बीयर, बियर from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window सीट on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it कहा From 2-4 years.

Q: How do आप confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E या does it go between M and W?"

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook खाना stamps!

Q: What is the blonde's प्रिय potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did आप hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did आप hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!

Q: What do a इंजन से साइकिल, मोपेड and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees आप on one.

Q: How do आप know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All आप have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: What do आप call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up द्वारा 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around द्वारा the tits.'

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air

Q: Did आप hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When आप have a tire पंप to reinflate it!

Q: What is a blonde's प्रिय part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: Did आप here about the blonde who shot an ऐरो into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: What's a blonde's प्रिय nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did आप name the other one ?"

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Did आप hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in बिस्तर द्वारा 10?
A: She picks up her पर्स and goes home.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when आप pull your meat out of it.

Q: Did आप hear about the blonde couple that were found फ्रोज़न to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a मटर in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: A blonde is walking down the सड़क, स्ट्रीट with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did आप get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: A blonde ordered a पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six या twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's a blonde's idea of सुरक्षित sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: Did आप hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
posted by -SkySplitter-
I don't own any of these
_____________________________________________

1. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint?

A: Red paint.

2. Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

3. Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

4. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

5. What do आप call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?

I don't know,...
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added by Mike-Ro-Wave
added by 16falloutboy
Source: Me
I saw this elderly gentleman dining द्वारा himself, with an old picture of a lady in front of him. I though maybe I could brighten his दिन द्वारा talking to him.

As I had assumed, she was his wife. But I didn't expect such an interesting story. They met when they were both 17. They dated briefly, then लॉस्ट contact when he went to war and her family moved. But he कहा he thought about her the entire war. After his return, he decided to look for her. He searched for her for 10 years and never dated anyone. People told him he was crazy, to which he replied “I am. Crazy in love”. On a trip to California,...
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हे there निनटेंडो प्रशंसकों im making a new series based off Nintendos beloved characters from the super Mario series. If आप are interested click on my प्रोफ़ाइल for और information. If not then read on maybe आप will get interested?

ENJOY :D made द्वारा one HUGE निनटेंडो प्रशंसक (SeeUV3 aka me)

गुलाबी Yoshi (Main character)

Name: Marry-ann-Hato
Age: 13 1/2 (currently)
तारीख, दिनांक of birth: ( 2000,july 7th)
personality : Clumsy,kind,a bit too nice sometimes,blunt ,happy ,lovable

Likes: singing, Dancing,Performing,Drawing
Dislikes: Math,Science,Geography

Power Type: electro porter (power of technology and...
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Source: tumbler
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Source: Me (:
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