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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If प्यार is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should आप believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that कुत्ता प्यार to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at आप if आप blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a पेड़ falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the पंचकोण, पेंटागन were run द्वारा women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do आप plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your सीट can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice दिन in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that भेड़ don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 घंटा convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for और than one बत्तख, हंस is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did आप know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If जैतून oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do आप know if खट्टा cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern दिन witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do मत्स्य कन्याओं wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do घोड़े call their scary dreams?
41) Do आप get to keep the time आप save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does मिनट चावल have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do आप slam revolving doors?
52) If आप put खाना colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an नारंगी, ऑरेंज is नारंगी, ऑरेंज and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
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THIS IS VERY URGENT AND NOT A JOKE!

I really mean it! What would आप be able to do if SOPA/TPP censors the internet? What would आप be able to do if लेखन fanfics and drawing fanarts become illegal? What would आप do if it's illegal to do a cover of your प्रिय song on YouTube? What would आप do if downloading things from the internet (music, movies, TV episodes, etc) became illegal? What would आप do if SOPA/TPP wins the war and takes away internet freedom? Net Neutrality is already dead so far, we can't risk the freedom of internet from getting killed द्वारा SOPA/TPP!...
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 ya know I needed this dumb lil eagle n flag somewhere
ya know I needed this dumb lil eagle n flag somewhere
I fucking प्यार America.

Yeah, that’s right, I प्यार it. In a time when it’s oh so trendy to hate society and all this country’s flaws, I प्यार the United States of America.

And yes, I do acknowledge the flaws. It does suck that there’s still widespread racism and sexism and it sucks that same-sex marriage isn’t nationally recognized. (It also sucks that गाँजा isn’t legal everywhere but ya know, I can let that go.)

I प्यार America because I’m free. I प्यार America because I’m free to प्यार it या I’m free to hate it. I can choose. I can voice my opinions.

I प्यार that it can be funny...
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