dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that आप were real, that आप all were , that he was.
There is evidence that आप were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming या not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and आप diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, या did i make आप up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without आप i dont know. But i want to find out. Do आप think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for my sake that they can.
I know आप wont read this, या that fact that आप havent even read one. they jsut get sent back to me, unread, failed, jsut like i know this one will to.
But i think this is the only thing that stops me from doing what i shouldn't do. what ever that is.
Charlie would say hi, if he knew anything. I've been so quite that me andcharlie no longer talk.
And jake. Well, he reminds me of you. Your friendship, your beauty, your loveliness. And the easiness to be normal around, someone i diddnt have to try,that i will never experience again.
But jake could never replace you.
school sucks, i think only आप and him was my only exucuse to get up and out of बिस्तर for school.
i havent spoken to my mum in ages. she calls and calls and abuses dad. but i just cant. she will be too concerned and ask सवालों that i dont want to answer या just hear.
Well i प्यार आप alice. i have to make रात का खाना for charlie, in silence again..
talk to आप in the अगला few days. funny how i say that, when i wont."

प्यार bella