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posted by वींडवेकर्गाई430
Fuck the intro! Fuck the development discussion! Fuck all the jokes I had written for this article! Fuck all of it! Let’s talk about mother fucking Katana Zero!



Okay, so in all seriousness, before I get way too hyped, let’s actually discuss what Katana Zero is about. आप play as a katana wielding samurai wannabe named Zero who works for a mysterious organization and does assassinations. Your goal is the ultimate destruction of a fictional drug द्वारा the name of Chronos, which is highly addictive, so addictive that anyone who uses Chronos will die from withdrawal, but it grants the user the ability to see into the future and live out their mistakes and successes before they are actually put forth. Throughout the game, आप learn the truth of the organization, Chronos and it’s creation, and just who the mysterious group is that is going against you… And it’s fucking awesome! Surprising absolutely no one, this game was published द्वारा Devolver Digital, who also published Hotline Miami. This game is considered 2D Hotline Miami, and while I can see it with the extreme violence and old school aesthetic, the two are different in their own ways. Hotline Miami is far darker in its story and is brutally difficult, whereas Katana Zero, while having a dark story, has some humor, both dark and tongue in cheek, to make it kind of a meme at times, and the ability to freeze times makes it far और forgiving than Hotline Miami. Katana Zero has its own unique gameplay. आप have to kill everyone in the room to हटाइए on, and with only a sword, आप must दीवार jump, sneak your way, and kill everyone in the room. Your sword is capable of deflecting bullets, and आप can dodge passed enemies and lasers to get where you’re going, but the real kicker is the Chronos, which lets आप slow down time to a crawl. Enemies are at a loss as आप हटाइए behind them and strike them down, and आप can deflect and dodge bullets with ease. But here’s the kicker. आप don’t need the Chronos. It helps, yes, but if आप master the game’s mechanics, know what to expect, and learn all the enemies attacks, आप can become so good at the game that आप don’t need to freeze time. There’s no real reward, as far as I know, but it just makes आप feel like a god when आप can pull it off without the ability. The game doesn’t give आप rewards, just the satisfaction, and that satisfaction made me want to master the combat of the game. When I beat indie games like Cuphead या Hollow Knight, I felt satisfied with just aht, but with Katana Zero, I wanted to get better at the game, I wanted to know the ins and outs, just because I would feel satisfied.
But Katana Zero is और than just fun combot, the story and characters are all really interesting. आप got The Doctor, who will be your friend, as long as आप do everything he says. Fuck up once and he’ll become your worst nightmare. And in one example… well… you’ll just have to play the game to find out about that. There’s V, a crazy Russian who is such a fanboy of Zero’s work and is only interested in doing as good as Zero द्वारा killing as many people as he can. And then आप get the mysterious characters like the samurai Snow, her mysterious partner, the two ungodly apparitions named Comedy and Tragedy, and a little girl who आप never learn the name of. Also plenty of meme worthy characters like Electrohead and Strong Terry. And what makes these characters so interesting is the options आप have to say to them. आप get a choice of words to say to the characters, and aside from a few moments, they don’t change the story that much, but आप can get the satisfaction of either humoring them या just pissing them off when they deserve it. The options just add a nice touch to the world that is Katana Zero.
Oh, and if आप thought the game was all action, no. Well, it is, but आप also gotta think smart with your Chronos to solve puzzles. Puzzles like being strapped in a chair and forced to live your death over and over again until आप piss off the guy that is holding Zero down. The creative way the game uses Chronos feels like so much attention was put into this game and it makes it feel और special to play. And then there are the secret weapons आप unlock for trying things differently. To get one, आप gotta kill your target before he kills himself. To get another, let a secret thief finish his business right when आप are about to run out of time and take what he’s got. Each new weapon आप get is really fun to use and feels like it was worth the effort. God, this game is just so perfect.
I only have one complaint for this game. One single complaint. It’s too damn short! I was really getting into this game and before आप know it, it’s over in about four hours. And I did everything, I got all the unlocks, completed all the levels without Chronos, and did the secret stuff, in the name of Pinkachu post season 17, and even still, I wanted more. I hear that there is DLC being released soon and that the game is due for a sequel, which I really hope for. Play Katana Zero. Fuck anything else I talk about on here. Play Katana Zero. It’s fucking great and आप should play it right now! Whatever game आप planned on buying, FUCK THAT GAME! Buy Katana Zero!

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posted by MileySelena982
1. We only cry infront of आप when we
a) want आप to comfort us, or
b) can't help it

2. We only wear mini स्कर्ट when we are single,
not because we do it for you. But not all of us.

3. When we talk about how "hot" guys are, we don't mean it.
Personality is all we care about. But a hot guy's a plus

4. If आप ask us what's wrong and we don't reply... DON'T
ASK AGAIN. We don't या feel like आप should know, so
forget about it.

5. When we say we're mad, upset, या angery, belive us.
Because we MEAN it.

6. Do not, I repeat. Do not EVER make our FATHERS
MAD. Just don't go there, okay?

7. If आप think we like to hang out with आप every
waking minute, think twice.

8. Have आप ever thought that we only do the things
we do for you?

9. When आप ask us out, and we say yes, our first date
better be AWESOME. If not, read number 6 again. <3

10. When we say we प्यार you... आप better believe it.
posted by funnyshawna
Apparently, this is what I do when I'm tired and slightly depressed. Go figure.

101 Great Uses for Eye-Patches!

1.    Wear it to cover your eye.
2.    Wear it to cover the hole where your eye used to be.
3.    Use it to prevent a hole ever being where your eye should be.
4.    Wear it to shield your eye from insects and other flying material.
5.    Wear two and pretend आप are blind.
6.    Wear none and pretend आप can see.
7.    Wear them as sunglasses when rendezvousing...
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Ever since I was little, me and my family always took trips upstate New York to the Catskills. We had this old beat-up trailer up there, it was probably around 50 years old at the time. It had a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom and two bedrooms. Back when all six of us, me, my two brothers, my parents, and my dog Chester went up there, me and my little brother, Joey, would have to sleep in the living room on the couches, as there were only two beds, one queen-sized बिस्तर for my parents, and one single बिस्तर for my older brother Tom.

Sleeping in the living room was the one part me and Joe hated...
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