बिना सोचे समझे Article: What's the point?

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posted by ShadowFan100

Well, here's another chance to get to know Shadowfan100....

First off, I've been drastically depressed and it's getting to the point where I'm tired of having only my own thoughts to keep me from killing myself.

"But why are आप so depressed, Shadow? There's a lot to be happy about!"

That's what some of आप may reply back to me, but that won't make my problems go away that easily.

It's just that.... what really is the point of it all? What's the point of living here in this hellish nightmare? This world is filled with so much evil...

We got: murder, rape, greedy butt-holes, starving people, and people who are literally struggling just to live, and for what? To continue living in a dark world that doesn't care about us anyway? To somehow find some kind of purpose in this gosh-forsaken planet?

Also, no one ever asked me if I wanted to be born. No one ever does ask, do they? Exactly. Each time a new baby is born, they’re forced to live here in a dark world that we all know hates them. How is that fair?

When they get older, they’re forced to go to school just to learn how evil this world is and then after that, they’re forced to get a job and work their butts off for evil humans, just so they can live another दिन being a slave to this world. And then they either have a family या not (depending on the person) and then grow old, retire and then wait for good old Death to kill ya and then आप finally die. All our lives, we’re are told that we’re free and that life is some kinda opportunity या whatever. Opportunity to do what? Became a slave to evil humans til आप die? Yes, that sounds like a great existence. -_-

As a child, I was homeschooled—meaning I lived a very isolated childhood. Not that I had no one. I had family but lacked friends. As a kid, I was happy for the most part, though I also did feel a sense of loneliness. And like your average child, I had no idea of how evil this world was til I grew older. I’m barely 30 years old, and I already want off this planet.

And before आप even say it, what bright side is there, huh? Be honest, how can there be a bright side to anything when the planet we live on is evil and corrupt? It’s not easy seeing the good when आप KNOW the world is never getting any better. Humans are destroying this world and it can’t be stopped. Every time I step foot outside my house, I risk the world getting ahold of me and turning me into it’s lil plaything. THERE IS NO POINT.

*sighs*

Look, I’m sorry, I just needed to vent this out and get this outta my system. These thoughts have really taken its told on my mind. Now that I have, I’m going to end this now. Later. Shadowfan out.

blackpanther666 and EgoMouse like this

Articuno224 Okay, first of all I want to say that I'm really sorry you feel this way! But I'm not going to lie either, I've been through many of the same things actually, I've been depressed, thought about suicide, thought humans were all evil... But what helped me was to think and learn about all the good things in life! (I know you say that you can't there are any at all) When we are depressed we only think about all the bad things, this drives us mad to a point. But I'll tell some things that made me feel better; I've loved animals my entire life and I used to think that they were just the cutest creatures on earth and humans are just, annoying, cruel and evil. I thought humans were so terrible because 80% of the people I met were not friendly at all from my point of view... But then I finally met people who were actually really friendly and a bit like me, shy, calm and such. I still think animals are the cutest most loving creatures on earth though (Well not all of them xD) But I learned that all humans aren't just horrible, the world isn't as black and white as we see it when depressed. Later I also learn in general that thinking about the things you like to do is a HUGE step away from these problems (At least it was for me); Now I actually mostly think about the positive things, there is no point on thinking too much about the negative (Of course we can't ignore it either that would be wrong) A few things I love to do; Being with my cat Listening to music watching movies and tv shows playing games Swimming Bowling Going out to see the world (Travel to other countries) Seeing the beauty of nature (And I obviously mean the places that aren't ruined) And so on. I will actually still have to agree with you on the whole work and education thing... I see it as slavery too, we are forced to do it even when we really really hate it... That I will always hate about the world today. And I will also say this; It also have a lot to say where you were grown up. I live in Denmark and that's really one of the most healthy countries... Some countries just have a really really horrible situation. I honestly don't think I can help you... But I can try, and I think getting you to believe there are good things in this world is the first big step.

ShadowFan100 Well, I like to draw, write stories and sing, listen to music and learn Japanese. And I also love dogs. Dogs are one God's greatest creations. Dogs know unconditional love, but humans don't. I do appreciate the help, Riku, and I will try to stay more positive. Hey, is "Riku" your real name? Are you Japanese or... just into anime? Either way, I like "Rika" as a name.

x-Yumi-x3 This is probably gonna come off as a little harsh but.. Things like this piss me off so much, there are thousands of people out there who are sick and never even got a chance to live. There was a friend of mine who died two days ago he was four years old with a bad heart condition pretty much is whole life was in and out of the hospital, he didn't even get a chance to live, my point is there are thousands of people out there who want to be able to live a normal life like you but they can't because their life is cut short because of some illness. You where blessed enough to have been woken up everyday healthy and alive, you should be pretty fucking happy about that! That is your reason live. You're 30 years old no one controls your life but you! You're then one making your life so terrible, not the bad people in the world. To me life is a wonderful gift from God, your Christian right? Why don't you know this? What you need to do is get out and explore the world don't just sit on the internet all day complaining, that your lonely, that's pathetic go out there and find someone to talk, to make friends and be happy. Once again there are MILLIONS of people out there who would love to sit on there ass all day eating junk food, while being on Fanpop but they can't. So think about how lucky you are before you sit there and end your life because you're 'sad' for no reason. http://inspirably.com/uploads/user/6011-your-life-is-what-you-make-it-if-you-make-it-sound-bad-then.png

Riku114 @Shadow Hum? Nah. Im half chinese though XD Honestly though, with how much Im online Im more used to being called Riku than my real name XD Really, the whole username has a long story to it...... And yes XD I also love Japanese though I cant read or write shit

ShadowFan100 To Yumi: Half of the reason I hate this world is BECAUSE some people are sick! It wasn't just me I was referring to, but others. Every time I hear about others struggling with things, I think to myself, "This is why I hate this world, all we ever do is suffer." And its also the reason I am not having kids. Who in the hell would want their kids to be here, when all they will do is suffer til death? I care about my kids enough to not let them see this world. Blessed to wake up every day? Ok, let me let you in on some of my issues/struggles. Have you ever encountered bratty kids? I hope you don't, because I'm around everyday (especially since schools out) and I'm so fed up with the 3 of them. I wouldn't call that blessed... would you? You don't me life all that well, so of course you probably don't understand. And yes, I'm a Christian, and I keep waiting on the day Jesus calls me home and off this planet. Why couldn't I had been born in Heaven instead of this nightmare? Then I would be happy. I'd love to be happier now, but until I get the money to move out, I'm stuck suffering. Life sucks, there is no freedom anywhere and I hate it. I had hope once, but now its gone. EDIT: Who said I was lonely? I was lonely during my childhood, but I got over it. I wasn't talking about NOW. Besides, I may not even need human friends.

Zeppie Listen man.... you hate this world because people struggle, but that is exactly what life is supposed to be. No way in hell, in our world, or in the animal kingdom, is life ever a breeze. Life may be cruel, but life is a CHANCE. A freakin' opportunity and you should NEVER spit on that like it's nothing. You say you are Christian, then I would try to understand that your God made this world like this for a REASON. Life was made to be difficult so that we can learn lessons. There's no other point to life if we don't learn from lessons and take action instead of WHINE about it. YOU have problems. I have problems. Your neighbour has problems. EVERYONE has their struggles in life that they need to overcome. Some people's problems more trivial than others but still issues to them regardless. I can't hammer into you that life is worth living, clearly it's up to you to decide that. Your God has put you here for a reason. I don't think it would be fair to waste this life by whining instead of making the EFFORT to find your own freedom. Freedom and a sense of peace is not something handed to you on a silver platter and the way you talk honestly feels like you think this freedom is something you should be expected to have, rather than fight for and earn. And that you are somehow extremely hard done by because you don't live in 100% peace. This is not a hateful response by any means. It is hopefully a wake-up call. If everyone mulled around complaining about a shitty world, then what a true mess it would be in then, huh. TRY. Make an effort. You don't like what you see out there? THEN TAKE ACTION. Don't complain and hope that things will magically fix themselves. That is all.

ShadowFan100 The only reason "life" isn't fair is because of stupid humans and their bull crap. God didn't make this world cruel, it was evil humans who screwed it up. Do you know how much bull crap has happened to this beautiful planet? Humans are the root cause of so much crap, and they don't care. I would love this life more if it has less evil humans and it gave me more of a reason to keep going, rather than the opposite. "Life was made to be difficult so that we can learn lessons..." So in other words, life wants us to suffer and be happy that we suffer? Awesome.... -_- It's not wrong to want a life with no pain or suffering and it's not wrong to want happiness. Is it really so wrong that for once, I'd like to enjoy life with no bull crap happening? So I don't have to constant be on the look out for evil? Because evil is EVERYWHERE in this world. Also, I would have never had to "learn" anything if I had never been born to start with. And the only reason I am here is because of my birthparents. My being here was never MY choice. I never said it wanted freedom handed to me. And you know, I would love to make a change, but I know it won't make a bit of difference. Nothing I do would ever change this world because it's too overrun with evil. They wouldn't care what I had to say, so my "efforts" would be pointless. So no, I don't expect it to "fix" it self, but I do hope to be freed of the prison called life. I'm sorry, but that is exactly how it feel like: a darn prison. And it seems like my "sentence" won't be over til I am dead.

Zeppie "It's not wrong I want a life with no pain or suffering" no, but incredibly naive. I believe strongly in karma, and honestly man, you have a lot of negative thoughts and negative energy around you that you are attracting only negative thoughts and energy. You are completely blinded of all the good in the world and completely disregard it. "I never said I wanted freedom handed to me", not in those words, but you implied it heavily through everything else you have stated. You are one person. One individual. You do not have the whole weight of the world on your shoulders, so stop taking it. Clearly on a big scale every individuals actions don't make a big difference to the big picture, but to the individual's life, it can have an incredibly significant impact. I suggest you think about that statement carefully. You feel like you are in a prison. Do you think you are the only person who feels restricted in life? Once again this is not a hateful response, but there are plenty of people out there leading difficult lives, but they don't stew on it. It takes a strong person to change their own life. If what you're saying is the world is screwed, then so be it, the world is screwed! So focus on your own little world, and do everything in your power to preserve your own situation. You first need to be a little selfish and get yourself sorted out before you look outward. *Oh and as an edit, seeing as you just edited your piece, that part where you're only here because of your parents, it's not your choice? NO. Don't you dare blame your parents for your own decisions on how you look at life, that is wrong.

Riku114 ^Zeppie that is what I said. In message at least

ShadowFan100 OK, so maybe I am a tad negative, but who isn't at some point? I mean, when you're around so much evil, and when you see evil displayed on the news, it's not easy seeing the good, Zippie. No offense, but the good seems like it's burred beneath the evil. Actually, no. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, that's why I mentioned how people struggle in the article. And I hate seeing others struggle. Look, I get it, you don't know me all that well yet, so I understand that your first impression of me isn't too good. But when I look at my side of all this, I'm honestly just tired of feeling so hopeless. I mentioned a lot in my article but.... there's a lot I didn't mention. I wasn't always so negative, Zippie. There was a time when I was happier, even when my life had it's rough edges. But now, I don't know if I'll ever feel that way I again. Also, I didn't intend to sound like I was "blaming" my birthparents, it's just that I never did choose to be here.

Riku114 Shadow. Please stop assuming no one knows what its like. Other people know what its like and people like me are climbing my way to freedom. She is right. And I would like to say if good is burried, then dig it out. No one said the good was easy to get

Zeppie Of course man, everyone has moments where they say "why the hell am I even here". I've had plenty of those moments, but I refuse to settle with that mindset. You first need to take a step back and figure out what is upsetting you. You say the news, other people's suffering? Step one then, is to restrict your news watching. I barely ever watch the 6pm news because I was sick of the bs. If I need current affairs, I tend to listen to the talkback station on the radio. Ok. Now let me explain. You probably think I'm a bit of a dick right? Maybe I am. But I am straightforward. I don't know you that well, fair point, I'm basing you off this article here. But you also do not know me well either, so we haven't much to work with here. I don't believe you always were a negative person. No one comes outta the womb straight up saying "fuck the world" am I right? Something has clearly happened, and it is up to you to seek professional help if you think that will be beneficial, if not, then you need to look more within yourself rather than the outside world (like I've already said). I understand struggle. I understand hopelessness. I won't get into much detail because that is boring, but I do live with a chronic illness that just popped up in my life 5 years ago, and has forever changed my life and has devastated me that I will never be the same and never live 'normally' and healthy again. That aside, I know this position you are in where you want to give up on everything. The point is to not give up because like you said "There was a time when I was happier". You know what that happiness feels like, why give up on finding that again? You keep fighting to live how you knew it once to be. I'm a bit of a hard-ass sometimes, but stripping it all away I'm just trying to help because I understand.

BlindBandit92 @Shadow. Everyone knows what it's like to feel that way. But just simply complaining about it won't solve anything at all. Some people literally wish to be in your situation. You have to take the small victories in life and work your way up. Some people wish to live to 30. Some people wish to be homeschooled. Some people wish to do alot of different things because of the way life sometimes dealt the cards. it's not meant to be. Sure you're saying you hate this world because of such unfairness. Explain to me how complaining about it is gonna to solve anything. if you see trouble. Build yourself up and try to help people gain some sort of peace in this lifetime. Because aren't Christians supposed to help people to better themselves ideally? I am sure God wouldn't want you to complain. Everyone can make a world a better place but it is up to you to do so. If all of the famous people were renowned for doing so much great things,decided to do what you're doing we would never even have the GOOD things we have right now. But we do because they decided to make a difference. if you see fault with something. Make it better if you can. Complain only worsens things. When have you ever seen complaints to be a tool to fix something. Unless you're analyzing something complaining is just a placebo to cope with something. Nothing more nothing less. People say times were rougher back in certain eras. I disagree. Everything in the world is in balance. Just because you don't see good deeds doesn't mean it isn't there. The thing people in all eras have in common is. There were a select few that said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and they changed their worlds and that simple action shaped other people worlds too. ANY action in your life can affect people in some way. Don't choose the negative actions. Attempt to make life better for yourself or others. The more you complain about things, the more things won't happen. It's up to the individuals to make a difference. You must never give into hopelessness. If everyone did that we would never accomplish anything.

Riku114 @Zeppie. That second to last line of the second to last paragraph reminded me of Saix's quote "We dont have hearts but we remember what it was like. That is what makes us special" XD @Shadow I really dont think I can add anythign much to what Zeppie said, but really, just you cant go giving up and settling. Sitting and fumbling with your thumbs waiting to die wont get you anywhere. You are a rather religious person right? Then do God some good. Spread his love. Save his children. Make his children happy. Help him fix what you can of the perfect world he made that were destroyed. You cant fix everything and thats something that must be accepted, but even if its a few things you can fit, you have to do something with your life. God sent you down here for a reason. He isnt such a cruel person as to just send you down here to suffer and wait for you to die. Make something good of the life God gave you. Hunt down your happiness and spread it to the world as best as you can. Maybe you can save a dog. Maybe you can save a kid. Maybe you can make someone's day ever so slightly brighter. If you cant reduce yourself to be a bit more selfish to care about yourself, then settle with the little you can do. Make God proud and glad he put you on Earth.

Zeppie @Riku just had to tie KH in there, didn't you xD But yes. Between all these comments of advice here from everyone Shadow, I hope some of it sparked some change within you.

poulamikundu After every sad day , comes a glad day So keep smiling! I think u r over worked......or stressed

ShadowFan100 To Riku, Zeppie and BlindBandet: I have seen all your comments and it got me thinking. Maybe there is good somewhere in this nightmare, I just don't know when/if I'll ever find it. The truth is that I have been battling depression for quite some time. So to be perfectly honest with you guys, it's not easy seeing the good when you're depressed. My depression comes and goes, and it's been like this for approximately 2 years. One day I'm feeling like I'm on top of the world, the next I'm laying in bed waiting to die. I do admit that some of my depression may be brought on my own self, but there could be an actual problem I have. Thanks for your help though! It helped. :D

BlindBandit92 ^Every little thing helps. I am glad our comments helped in a way. I hope you get better with your depression man.

Riku114 @Shadow No problem! Im glad we could do some help in your battle. Fight and win man, Im sure you can do it XD

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झूला, स्विंग low, my sweet Jacob

posted by KatiiCullen94

This is what i would say to my jacob, if i can even say he is mine.

How do i even start off, do i start off saying that i dont know how to start off,or do i pour my दिल out,that first word, i dont know anymore..Because with you, nothing is the way it seems, या the way it was before. Everything changes even the way im supposed to write this, you've confused me.
OK,, i think is this part where i pour my दिल out right?? if not. im going to sound.. odd. but who cares now? not you. आप wont even read this my love.
ok here i go, keep me from falling.
I meet आप on a saturday, on the first saturday...