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Hello I'm NOT the nostalgia critic, I remembered it so आप don't have to. I've been watching NC's biggest dumba** in distress video and I thought I'd do one. Except for me it's only going to be characters that are animated and it's not only going to be female characters, there are some male characters here too. With other characters I can find at least some aspect of heroics in them except for these characters. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion and I don't hate all of these characters. Please comments, enjoy.

10.Esmeralda(The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

I promise I'm not being biased about this, I honestly think she's a huge damsel in distress and at least hear me out. She's a gypsy who believes in equality and is supposedly a strong fight. But apparently for someone whose suppose to be all those things she really gets captured a lot. I mean first of all she gets captured द्वारा the guards and saved द्वारा a goat. Seriously? A goat is और useful than she is! She can't even save herself in a church when all she has to do is claim sanctuary but apparently Pheobus has to do it for her. Quasimodo helps her escape twice. Shouldn't someone who's made a living on hiding be able to escape herself? She's in distress through the whole movie because Frollo is after her. She doesn't even have to do anything during the Court of Miracles and she still gets captured. Plus we have the climax where Quasimodo has to save her from burning to death and getting killed द्वारा Frollo. So far she's been saved द्वारा Quasimodo, Pheobus, the preacher, the gypsies, बिना सोचे समझे towns folk that we don't even know, and a goat. A STINKIN GOAT! Kayley was supposedly saved द्वारा a chicken(he didn't save her he just helped cut her free, she saved herself) and she's one of the most bada** heroic heroines in existence. Besides Kayley did get captured sometimes, but not a lot like Esmeralda, besides she was just starting out. While Esmeralda had years of practice and got captured A LOT! I mean you'd think Esmeralda would be absolutely heroic but the only time she saves anyone was when she saved Pheobus and even then all she does is throw a rock at a horse's butt, any moron could do that. But she she's basically my Jubilee(NC had her on his) because she's someone who's part of a team and not just a team it's a team of rebels. Kids प्यार a team of rebels and especially since a lot of them seem to believe in equality like she does. They're kind of like the डिज़्नी gypsy version of X-Men I guess. The reason she's not higher is because of that one scene during the festival of fools where she's cleverly avoiding the guards.

9.Lucky(101 Dalmatians)

I can't stand this little pup and how much of a damsel he is, is part of it. I mean how many times does this guy actually get in trouble. Even when he was born he was in danger but that wasn't really his fault. But I mean this kid never even payed attention to when they were trying to escape and just watches TV. Yeah why save your life when आप can watch TV? Sure you'll be dead but oh well आप can watch TV. His name maybe Lucky but he's a jinx, he causes trouble for everyone and almost gets everyone killed. I mean I'd probably just leave him because he's just going to end up getting himself and everyone else killed. It's like this kid can't even take a walk without getting into trouble. In the TV series he gets into trouble a lot too and it's all caused द्वारा him and his stupidity. He's as heroic as a piece of paper. I mean the other पिल्लें got captured too but they didn't get into trouble like he did, actually none of them did, Patch even saved them in the sequel. But Lucky man this annoying little brat isn't even worth it and that's coming from an animal lover. He's not higher because he doesn't have as much big damsel moments as the others.

8.Wendy(Peter Pan)

Yeah आप all know that आप can't have a damsel in distress सूची without her in it. She's one of the most iconic damsel's in distress there is. She starts off getting into distress when she's attacked द्वारा the लॉस्ट boys, thanks to Tinkerbell, and it looks so cheesy. I mean why doesn't she just continue to fly? I don't think avoiding items getting thrown at आप would take away any pixie dust. So that was the first time she was in distress. The अगला time was that she was attacked द्वारा the मत्स्य कन्याओं and she actually almost died. She's not higher because in that scene she does stand up for herself but not enough for me to actually think she has any heroic in her. She's captured द्वारा Hook and his crew and forced to walk the plank. She doesn't even try to fight for her life या the lives of her brothers या friends. She just says don't sign and die. You'd think she'd try to fight to save her brothers but no she just walks the plank without a fight. She even lets her five साल old brother fight the pirates and she doesn't do a thing. I mean talk about a gutless and spineless character who can't do anything. She's not higher because of the thing with the मत्स्य कन्याओं I mentioned from before.

7.Princess Pea(The Tale of Despereaux)

This girl is so weak and pathetic that she makes Princess आड़ू, पीच look like Mulan. First of all the reason she gets captured was caused द्वारा her being rude and stupid. From the way it looks it really didn't take much of an effort to capture her. It was like picking up a pencil. Then she was tied to the ground द्वारा a bunch of rats. Seriously? She was over powered द्वारा a bunch of rats! She can't even break free, the ropes were tied द्वारा a bunch of rats, they shouldn't be tied too good. Finally she's saved द्वारा a माउस and a rat. Seriously? I mean come on that's even worse than being saved द्वारा a goat. This is just pathetic, simply pathetic. It's a good thing she's pretty, but she's not even that pretty. The only reason she's not higher is simply because of others being bigger damsel's.

6.Chuckie(Rugrats)

Oh my gosh I absolutely hate this annoying whiny little brat, his damselness is part of it. He's always getting into trouble without any effort. Tommy is constantly having to save him and if not him than Kimi. This kid just needs to take one step and he needs saving. Every time the rugrats have an adventure he's getting into some kind of trouble where he had to be saved. Part of it is caused द्वारा him being whiny and a coward. I mean he makes Shaggy and Scooby look like सुपरमैन and Batman. He's been saved द्वारा pretty much all of the rugrats; Tommy, Kimi, Phil, Lil, Susie, and even Angelica and Dil. Angelica is the antagonist of the दिखाना and she actually saved him, that's pathetic. What's ven और pathetic is that Dil, a baby that's not even a साल old, actually saved him. He even got saved द्वारा Spike, a dog. He just cries and screams for someone to help him instead of doing it himself. I know he's just a toddler but Tommy can do it so he can too. I mean if he was a superhero his superpower would be crying. The reason he's not in the चोटी, शीर्ष 5 is because the others have been in worse situations than him.

5.Naveen(The Princess and The Frog)

I promise I'm not just putting him here because I loath him, he's really a huge damsel in distress. He's been in distress और than any of the डिज़्नी princesses. He was in trouble when he got involved with Dr. Facilier, he was put in a jar, he gets attacked द्वारा a frog eating bird, he needs saving from the alligators, he gets captured द्वारा frog hunters, he gets out thanks to रे and tries to save Tiana but ends up needing her to save him again, he's captured द्वारा the shadows, then captured द्वारा the shadows again, it put in a box, and captured द्वारा Lawrence. So all together he's been in distress ten times. TEN TIMES? GEEZ not even any of the डिज़्नी princesses were in distress that many times. So he's constantly getting saved द्वारा a girl(not bad), an old blind lady, and a आग fly. That's even worse than being saved द्वारा a mouse. The reason he's not higher is because the others are just bigger damsel's in distress.

4.Mary Jane(Spiderman) and Lois Lane(Superman)

Every single one of us know आप can't have a सूची about damsel's in distress without these two here. It's hard to decide which one of these two is और of a damsel in distress so I just gave them both the spot. Though I have to say I actually really like both of them because they maybe damsel's in distress but unlike the others on this सूची they're actually enjoyable characters. Anyway we all know their reason for existence, to be the प्यार interest and person who constantly has to be saved द्वारा the main character. I mean it seems that these two should be getting paid for getting into distress. If they had a penny for every time they've been in distress they'd be some of the richest people in the world. In the सुपरमैन दिखाना they've even made fun of how much Lois has been in distress and even कहा to सुपरमैन "I hate to say it, I've kind of gotten use to it". Neither one of them is very useful and you'd think they'd learn a thing या two after being in distress so many times. What is this, just a trip to the spa for them? They're not higher because as times they were useful, और so Lois.

3.Ron Stoppable(Kim Possible)

Here's a character I don't hate या dislike, I'm neutral about him. Ironic how he's here when Kim Possible is the most bada** heroic character in existence. This guy is so incompetent that he constantly loses his pants. He's usually the distraction and is always getting into distress. I think Kim might need to get a new sidekick that doesn't get into distress so much. I mean all he has to do is हटाइए and he's getting captured. If Kim is ever in trouble than she can save herself with like once या twice where Rufus has to save her. Ron can't save her because every time he tries he ends up getting captured too and Rufus has to save them. So maybe Kim should आग Ron and keep Rufus. I mean a naked तिल चूहा is actually और useful than him. He never saves the दिन and is as useful as a नींबू with a paper-cut. He's basically Robin with Batman. बैटमैन should probably आग Robin and keep Batgirl. He's not higher because the other two are just pathetic.

2.Giselle(Enchanted)

This chick is so annoying and part of the reason is her being such a damsel. I mean first she's in danger from the giant troll, falling from the tree, falling into the wishing-well, falling from a billboard, and eating the poison apple. She's so weak that even a stinkin चीपमक, चिपमंक is और heroic and useful than her. She's even such a damsel that she can't even walk without falling and needing someone to help her. She's even aware that she's a damsel in distress "Well usually someone's there to catch me". What is this just part of your daily rue-teen? Sure she tried to help save Robert but she doesn't really do anything, it's Pip who save the दिन and in such a stupid way. She's absolutely useless and is definitely the biggest डिज़्नी damsel in distress in existence. She's not higher because number 1 is on the same level of being a dumba** damsel in distress as Bella Swan.

1.Princess Irene(The Princess and The Goblin)

This has got to be the weakest character in existence, this girl makes all the other characters on this सूची look like Kim Possible. I mean it doesn't really take much to capture this girl, all आप have to do is use your pinky to grab her and that's all it takes. First of all she's in distress in the first few मिनटों of the movie and is saved द्वारा a boy who was singing. That's right, all आप have to do to defeat the goblins is sing, that and step on their feet. She's captured during the climax of the battle and what makes me mad is that she knows that आप just have to sing and it'll defeat the goblins and she could've easily saved herself. But does she? NO! She just screams like an idiot. She also needs to be saved once again when she's drowning. She gets a chance to save her प्यार interest from the Goblin Prince and she ends up messing it up द्वारा tripping and needing to be saved again. This girl is absolutely pathetic, she's even और of a dumba** damsel in distress than Bella Swan, who actually jumped off a cliff for goodness sake. I mean I'm surprised she and her प्यार interest didn't end up dying because this girl keeps on almost getting them killed. If she even moves slightly she'll be in distress. There's absolutely no competition! It's a good thing she(and all the other girls on this list) is pretty because she's really useless.
केबिन for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Seven: Laken


    Hi! I’m Laken Reese Barenshsky. I’m 19 and I live with my parents and my 15 साल old brother, Jason. I have the most wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, Tori. She’s pretty, she has long brown hair, that’s naturally curly, brown eyes and her smile is gorgeous, like I’ve just been snapped with the sun! God, she’s sexy.
    “GOALLLLLLLL!” I scream whenever I kick the नाशपाती into the side of this कचरे के डिब्बे, कूड़ेदान in the back of the store. Zack grumbles (because he’s a loser!) and we keep kicking this...
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posted by smileypop9
These लेखाए are gonna be the thoughts on life and stuff, and this is part two.
I did this because I was bored, and because I wanna get my thoughts out.
---------

Rap in one word? Crap.
That's my opinion, so don't bash me.
.
Anyway, I hate that stupid drivel. Yeah ok, sorry kids, that I sound like your mother. But I really think that people who listen to rap could seriously use an update to their tunes.
Why would आप wanna listen to संगीत from people who wear their pants down to their knees, objectify women, and swear 24/7?
There's much better संगीत available.
...
People who listen to rap are kinda...
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The Dr. Z!!
By: moolah
(Note: I’ve changed both me and my friend’s name for privacy. I have also changed the name of the school, and my [math] teacher )
[P.S: For Ellen’s part, I am just guessing what happened when I was in the bathroom!]
True Story.

Scene: Applebee’s
Time: 7:50
Why: My birthday dinner
Who: Tabby(me) and Ellen(my friend)
Tabby’s P.O.V
    I had to go to the bathroom, so my friend Ellen and I went to the Applebee’s bathroom, and I knocked on the one door to a stall. “YES HONEY!” A woman *I think* who sounded strangely like a man laughed as she spoke...
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain आप understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help आप concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, आप can both walk to the nearby cafe and buy a hamburger to help आप concentrate. If your friend shows आप his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders,...
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posted by invadercalliope
Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what आप want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee और than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My दिल skips a beat
When आप walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with आप until the end

I give my दिल and my soul to you
To make आप see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant आप see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what आप want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...
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The following is a very fake letter! Trust me!

To the people of the future,
    My name is Andrea Reese. I live in Burke Clouds. I live with my mom (Kayla), my dad (George), my cousin (Annie), my two sisters (Ally and Aria). I have a brother (Chance) who is 18 and in collage. He’s nice to me, unlike my friend, Alexis, brother. I प्यार my family. I go to Franco Bud Rose Middle School. I am happy. But, I have a serious cancer. It has no none cure, no chemo can cure it. I’ve had it for a साल and a half and have been alive. My time is limited here, and I wanted to put this...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ingredients:
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted सैल्मन, सामन (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed चावल in a चावल bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the चावल won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed चावल on your hand and put your प्रिय filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled सैल्मन, सामन on the rice. Push the filling into the चावल lightly. Hold the चावल between your palms. Form the चावल into a round, a triangle, या a cylinder द्वारा pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the चावल ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. लपेटें the चावल ball with a strip of nori या sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly द्वारा americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!

Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...

voice: LOVED IT!

Girl's friend: आप got the what ever it is?

Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.

Girl's friend: what does it do?

Girl: I don't know. But I प्यार it!

Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if आप call right now we will also send आप a what ever आप call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 और dollers shiping and handleing! आप GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever आप call it! CALL NOW!!!

other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever आप call it have आप credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
posted by invadercalliope
CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL दिन BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST तारा, स्टार IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all आप have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! गिर EVERYONE LOVES आप THE MOST आप HAVE THE MOST प्रशंसक GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!
Ok,Here are thingz that a am interested in!
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some फिल्में i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some ऐनीमे movies,titanic
Here is some संगीत i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some पुस्तकें i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Well, I'm bored, and depressed, so I've decided to सूची all the things I hate. Well, all the things I hate that I can think of!


1. Fire.
2. Small spaces.
3. The sound आप get when आप scratch a balloon.
4. Balloons in general. But just the rubbery ones, आप know, not the foily ones? Well I know what I mean anyway. :/
5. Nose bleeds.
6. Clowns.
7. Bullies and bullying.
8. School.
9. Spoilt bitches who think that everything is about them, and don't even think about others' feelings.
10. Seeing a loved one cry.
11. The awkward moments that seem to stalk my life.
12. Witnessing a situation that is nothing to do with you, and knowing that it's not going to end happily.
13. Having to exercise in in the boiling hot sun.
14. Those days when आप just feel like total crap.
15. PE.
16. Sharp knives.
17. मछली fingers.
18. The majority of green vegetables.
19. Being alone outside in the dark.
20. Watching someone suffer.
posted by moodystuff449
Thing are going round and round my head, या maybe my head is going round and round in things. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

Sophie, I'm dying of boredom in here, या maybe just dying. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want." — Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"’I think we ought to live happily ever after,’ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal और hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

‘It should be hair-raising,’...
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posted by Blackteardrops
*** No offense to any one... Just randomness xD


If I Were a Boy PARODY

If I were a boy I would be gay
My guy liner would serve as a warning
I would तारीख, दिनांक Adam Lambert
And he’d call me babe

And we would make out on stage
I'd किस who I wanted
But I’d probably get confronted
No one would stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I would be gay
I would never तारीख, दिनांक a girl
I swear I'd still प्यार men

I'd watch Glee
'Cause I know it’s really awesome
When आप watch a brand new one
I’d invite my फ्रेंड्स over
And I wouldn’t let much change but

If I were a boy
I would be gay
I’d come out of the closet
And I’d push...
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brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok आप go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door घंटी, बेल rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will आप give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...
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Chapter one
Okay this is a really बिना सोचे समझे stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, आप have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” कहा my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find और crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? आप are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
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User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No आप are a robot times 1000000.


User: No आप are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and आप are a robot.


User: User: आप robot.User: आप robot.User: आप robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. आप are the robot here.

User: User: आप robot.User: आप robot.User: आप robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... आप computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So आप admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




लोल yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do आप hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be घर for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and आग hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: आप better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell आप why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired द्वारा their family and फ्रेंड्स and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented द्वारा the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The सेकंड is the garden goat,...
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My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The संगीत कार्यक्रम Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 घंटा Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There गाना I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're सीट Ooh K Then मक्खी, ड्रैक, ड्रेक Sad आप Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There मक्खी, ड्रैक, ड्रेक Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The प्रशंसकों प्रशंसकों Was गाना Along Giving Him फूल Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For पढ़ना And You're Comments