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The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A भेड़िया named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do आप want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." उत्तरों Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are आप doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as she looks at Jessica.
"I agree with Dakota." Adds Kelsey.
"Ok, ok..Anyway, what do आप guys want?"
"We just wanted to make sure आप were ok." Says Kelsey.
"I'm fine, just really bored so I decided to make some traps."

Immidately after Jessica finneshed her sentance, Gibby jumps out from behind a tree.
"Haha! Your traps wont work now because I know where they all are!" Says Gibby with a smart attitude.
Suddenly, Dakota hits Gibby in the head with a huge पेड़ branch.
"Suck on that b*tch!"
Both Kelsey and Jessica are standing there just looking at Dakota.
"Damn..I didn't see that comeing." Says Jessica.
Gibby slowly gets up while rubbing his head.
"What the f*ck just happened?"

Kelsey grabs the branch from Dakota and starts beating Gibby with it.
"Die आप son of a b*tch! Die!" Yells Kelsey.
"Wow.. Your a psycopathic b*tch!" Says Jessica.
"Yes, yes I am." Kelsey says while laughing.
They all stand there and wait for Gibby to wake up.
"Lets beat him with another stick!" Suggests Dakota.
"No, I have a better idea." Jessica says while smiling evily.
"What do आप want to do then?" Asks Kelsey.

Jessica starts digging a hole and when she is done she tells Dakota to put Gibby in the hole.
"Ok, So instead of beating him with a stick आप want to put him in a hole?" Asks Dakota.
"Hmmmm..... Yeah that's a stupid idea... Oh! I have another idea!" Exclaims Jessica.
"What is it?" Asks Kelsey.
Somehow with Jessica's magical pig powers, They all appear on चोटी, शीर्ष of the Empire state building. Dakota looks down over the edge of the building.
"Holy sh*t! We're really far up!"
"Yeah yeah, Now shut up and help me." Says Jessica.
Dakota and Jessica हटाइए Gibby onto the edge of the roof top.
"Ok, Now we just wait for him to wake up and we push him off." Says Jessica while smiling evily.
"Oh my god, Jessica आप have some serious mental problems." Says Kelsey as she stares at Jessica.
"Well I figured since he's trying to kill us, We should kill him first." Says Jessica.
"Good point." Adds Dakota.
"Exactly." Says Jessica.
Five मिनटों later... Gibby wakes up and see's that he is on the edge of a building.
"Oh my f*cking god! Where the f*ck am I?!"
"We're on चोटी, शीर्ष of the Empire state building." Says Jessica, Looking at him evily.
"Why are we uphere?" He asks with a scared tone.
Jessica pushes him off the edge and watches him fall to his death.
"That's why." She says while laughing.
Kelsey and Dakota slowly start to back away from their mentaly insane friend. Then Jessica quickly turns around and see's them leaving.
"Where do आप think you're going?" She asks.
"You're f*cking crazy! We're done with this sh*t!" Yells Kelsey.
Jessica glares at Kelsey.
"Call me crazy..One और time." Jessica says with an angry look.
"You...Are...A...F*cking...Crazy...B*tch!" Says Kelsey.
Dakota slips away while Kelsey and Jessica are argueing.
"That's it!" Jessica yells, pushing Kelsey off the building.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!"
Jessica looks down and laughs as Kelsey lands on a car. Then she turns around to see that Dakota was gone.
"Oh my f*cking god! Jessica has gone f*cking insane!" Yells Dakota while running away.
Jessica starts chasing Dakota but looses her.
"What the f*ck.. Where did she go?" Asks Jessica.
Jessica walks past a trash can and all of a sudden, Dakota stands up and beats Jessica with a pop-tart.
"Die आप psyco b*tch!" Yells Dakota.
She stands there holding a bloody pop-tart and stares at Jessica's dead body.
"I hope आप burn in hell..." Mutters Dakota.

The End...?
This story was created द्वारा Dylan Carter.
Characters are Dakota Klesen, Kelsey Estes, Nick Curto (Gibby) and Jessica Carter
added by EllentheStrange
Source: me
added by Alexyss_Cullen
Source: tumblr
added by msanders2008
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
added by Cyrusrocks
Source: no idea
posted by nmdis
Dream it Out Loud

How do आप speak in silence?
Why do आप sleep when you're awake?
If we just cut the tie lines, then we can simply sail away.
Pack up your things. Write it all down.
You'll soon be accustomed to the sound.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

I want to paint in colors.
Leaving the land of black and white.
And if we do go back there, we'll see it in a different light.
Ready to go. Open the door.
Just like the rain falls from the cloud.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

It's a better day.
We're on our way.
If there's anything we can't remember.
Who's to say it's not all just a dream.

Don't have to think about it.
Just like a river it will flow.
We waited to long without it.
If we just get up now and go.
Open your eyes and look around.
You'll be surprised what आप have found.

Dream it out loud. (x 10)
(I'm dreaming. Keep on dreaming.) (x10)
"Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. और than machinery, we need humanity. और than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." - Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator

“If we are to have faith in justice. We need only to believe in ourselves. And act with justice. I believe there is justice in our hearts.” - Paul Newman, The Verdict

“The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game. Every minute. Every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone...
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posted by haliethefangirl
How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Ask, “did आप hear that cable snapping sound?”
Call the psychic hotline from आप cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
>>> click here for और

Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe breaks the silence w/ a bodily function noise.
Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
Stick your open palm under the stall wall...
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posted by SymmaGirl2
Just a couple of song titles. I'll add "in my pants" to the end of each one to keep it interesting! XD Here goes~!
Cool Edition...in my pants.
Just Dance...in my pants.
Mr. Wonderful...in my pants.
Alcohol...in my pants.
Let's Boil Hot Water...in my pants.
Firetruck...in my pants.
Thriller...in my pants.
I Like Hamburgers...in my pants.
Go गूगल It...in my pants.
Ten Faced...in my pants.
Parallel Days...in my pants.
Little ढंढोरची, ढोलकिया Boy...in my pants.
Secret Princes...in my pants.
Moonlit Marionette...in my pants.
Meltdown...in my pants.
Prison...in my pants.
Labyrinth Butterfly...in my pants.
Beside Me...in...
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posted by mandali
A Child's Mind

A child's mind is so soft a clay
mold it to into anything आप may
it's tender and innocent so, for the moment
let it free to play!

Nothing does it know, of the Life's Dirty Play
For it life is all Bright and Gay
It is True, Sweet and Pure
But the way it is, Let it stay!

For in this world of misery and grief
To my mind is a relief,
that a Temple of Innocence
in the world still does exist!

-Siri Mandali

Hope आप like it, I've पोस्टेड it in my blog too :) - link
posted by Animetama
Here are some tips on getting a shy या quiet girl, please read closley but try not to over read it.

1: Make her laugh, she loves to laugh and have a good time.

2: Don't force her to open up right away, get to know her, आप may be surprized (in a good way).

3: Smile, she wants to know if you're happy too. But don't fake a smile.

4: Don't be too silly, या too serious, as कहा before, she wants to have a good time.

5: if she rejects your offers, then it means she may not be intrerested in you.

6: Hang out with her, if your still in school, then that's a good oppertunity to every once in awhile hang...
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The Falling Man
One of the most haunting तस्वीरें captured from 9/11, it shows a man free-falling after he has jumped from one of the windows of North Tower. He was one of the people they call “Jumpers”, who chose to jump to their death rather than get suffocated द्वारा the smoke या get buried under the rubble. Some called them cowards, while some sensationalized them as tragic symbols of 9/11. But the fact of the matter is, it was a hard choice for anyone to make, and one can not really judge the decisions a person makes in times like these.

People, आप rant so much about how आप have a hard time making choices. Whether आप should work on your assignment या go out with your friends. Whether आप should तारीख, दिनांक this guy या that guy. Whether आप should break up with your boyfriend या not. Whether आप should wear the गुलाबी ब्लाउज या the baby blue one.



Imagine the choice this man had to make.....
posted by GreenerPastures
These are some reasons why I abso-flipping-lutely प्यार my smashing country Kenya:
1-Its where the President of the sovereign United States of America traces his roots,albeit a little too far off.
2- Its the only place आप can hear phrases like:"Omera,yawa, who do आप think आप are messing with? Don't आप know that my brother has a friend who wipes the office of a man who makes long-distance calls to the friend of a man who works with the president of the FBI who talks face-to-face with Obama, therefore I have American blood flowing in my veins?" Yet the poor guy is as black as coal.
3-The glam...
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posted by तमार 20
Enemies and haters can be annoying and their टिप्पणियाँ and insults can upset you. Learn how to deal with it...

1)If आप don’t know why they hate you, ask them calmly and nicely. If they are nasty to आप या start swearing या being violent, walk away and don’t bother trying to talk to them again until they have calmed down या until they talk to आप nicely. Some people can be दिया सेकंड chances to realize that आप aren’t really a bad person and they have nothing to hate आप for. But some people just won’t like आप in life, so don’t waste your time fretting about why they don’t like...
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Some people may ask, "Why Invader Zim first?" I say SCREW IT, ILL DO WHAT I WANT! In any case, the दिखाना is one of my favorites. It represents a better time for Nick. Better shows, better actors, better Nick. Altough this is a time since past, Nicktoons has made the GENIUS(sp?) decision to bring it back.
If आप look at the definition of Invader Zim on Wikipedia(again, sp?), it says that IZ employs a comedy style called "black comedy". Basically, this means that IZ uses dark methods of humor, such as the gluttonus "Bloaty the पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा Hog", या perhaps just the dark scenery in IZ (it gives a very...
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if someone is annoying you, just say "they're not even worth my time."


if someone is making आप upset, just say "look how carless and mean he/she/they are/is."


if someone doesn't believe you, just say "i can't do anything to change your mind."


if someone doesn't like the way आप are, या they want to change something about you, say "i didn't make myself like this. this is how i was born. take me as i am, या don't accept me at all."


if someone is bullying आप for "no reason", it's because they like you, या is jealous of you, या it's the spirits clashing.
posted by Icepaw_Kenobi
Found this online...
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give आप a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if आप can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your दिन been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream,...
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31 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

Written द्वारा a guy. After years of experience.

1. Whatever आप do, don't just दिखाना up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and आप will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to किस in...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope आप enjoy!
:D
20 Funny Quotes
1:You tries your best and आप failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
2:I didn't lose my mind, I just sold it on eBay
3:A good friend will bail आप out of jail, a best friend will be sitting अगला to आप saying "Dude that was freakin awesome!"
4:Accept that some days you're the pigeon. and some days you're the statue
5:There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the किनारा, शोर like an idiot.
6:Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
7:Never give up things that once made आप smile
8:Clear as a घंटी, बेल my nody कहा "Listen fatty...do it and die
9:Caution water on...
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posted by karpach_14
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the टाइटैनिक first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character या the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't...
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