" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
घर SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All आप Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
टेनिस players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's दिल is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck आप out of your car
I break for........................OH SHIT NO BRAKES
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
All men are idiots, and I married their king.
फ्रेंड्स help आप move; real फ्रेंड्स help आप हटाइए the body.
Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes
Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.
Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!
Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's नितंब, गधा and wait!
Mothers with teenagers know why जानवर eat their young
We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!
IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN
YOUR TURN SIGNAL IS STILL ON
IT'S IMPOLITE TO STARE
U.S.M.C. UNCLE SAMS MISGUIDED CHILDREN
Eternity: Smoking या Non-Smoking?
I wasn't born a bitch; men like आप made me that way.
I प्यार to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do आप want
They didn't let me out, they just gave me a दिन pass!
(Front Bumper) If आप can read this, I didn't hit आप hard enough.
...and i should care, why?
100,000 Sperm And आप Were The Fastest?
186,000 Miles/Second: It’s Not Just A Good Idea, It’s The Law!
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
7 days with out येशु makes one weak
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A church alive is worth the surprise!!
A दिन without sunshine is like, night.
A दिन Without Sunshine Is Like, आप Know, Night
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
A माउस Is An हाथी Built द्वारा The Japanese
A nuclear war can ruin your whole दिन .
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
Abandon the खोजिए for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity
Air Pollution Is A Mist-Demeaner
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
All generalizations are false.
All I want is less to do, और time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
All Men Are Idiots... And I Married Their King.
All my drinking buddies have a racing problem.
All stressed out and nobody to choke!
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always Remember: You’re Unique, Just Like Everyone Else.
AMERICA-Love It या Leave It!
Amnesia used to be my प्रिय word, but then I forgot it.
ANGER IS MERELY DEPRESSION WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM!
Another brilliant mind ruined द्वारा higher education.
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
Anything Free Is Worth What आप Pay For It
Are आप following येशु this close?
As If
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Ask me about micro waving बिल्ली for fun and profit.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Ass, gas या grass, nobody rides for free.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy
Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk
Ax Me About Ebonics
Back the badge
Back Up My Hard Drive? How Do I Put It In Reverse?
BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!
बार्बी AIN'T HERE!.
Be Human.
Be nice society already sucks.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Be Nice To Your Kids; They’ll Pick Out Your Nursing Home.
Be the kind of friend you'd want.
Be the kind of person आप always wanted your parents to be.
Be ye fishers of men. आप catch them - He will clean them.
Beam me up Jesus.
Beauty is in the eye of the बीयर, बियर holder...
BEER, Helping people have sex since 1865.
Beer: It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore.
Beer: making woman look better since 1965.
Beer: The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure आप have enough to spare!
Behind every successful man there is a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are two.
Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.
Bill Clinton 89% Fact Free
Bite Me!
Black holes are where God divided द्वारा zero.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Blondes Tease....Brunettes Please....
Blow your nose, your horn works fine.
Body द्वारा Nautilus; Brain द्वारा Mattel
Boldly Going Nowhere
BOMB SQUAD: If आप see me running आप better catch up!
BooYah!
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
Boy bands. The spawn of Satan.
Boycott shampoo, demand real poo instead.
Boys Lie!
Bumper sticker in the साल 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS
But I Just Can’t Get My Head That Far Up My Ass
Buy a gun support the constitution.
Buy a gun. Piss off the liberals.
Buy American!
Can I pay my Visa with my MasterCard?
CAN आप HEAR ME NOW!!! ??
Can't Feed 'Em! Don't Breed Em'!
Careful, I’m not wearing clean underwear!
Cat: The Other White Meat
Caution -- Driver Legally Blonde
CAUTION I BRAKE FOR HOOKERS.
CAUTION! I drive like आप do!
Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
CAUTION: This car will be left behind during rapture.
Change a life; make someone feel important.
Change is good...you go first!
Change Is Inevitable, Except From A Vending Machine
Chemistry Professors Never Die, They Just Smell That Way!
Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous.
Clean up America. Kill a redneck!
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Clones are people 2
Coffee, Chocolate, Men. Some things are just better rich.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage
Conceive. Believe. Achieve.
Condoms are easier to change than diapers!
Confidence is the feeling आप have before आप understand the situation.
Confucious say "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Conserve toilet paper - use both sides.
Conserve water - शावर, शॉवर with a friend
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Could आप Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your Ass?
Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
D.A.M.M.- Drunks Against Mad Mothers
DANGER: I drive like आप do!
DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.
DARE to keep the CIA off drugs.
Death is God's way of telling आप not to be such a wise guy.
Death is life's way of telling आप you're fired.
Death is nature's way of telling आप to slow down.
Death is the consequence of being alive.
Deep down, divers care.
Democrats=Beaureaucrats: STUPID
Despite The Cost Of Living, Have आप Noticed How It Remains So Popular?
Despite the cost of living, have आप noticed how it remains so popular?
DETEST-de stuff de teacher gives de students when ya expect it de least!!!
Dewey,Skrewem, & Howe (attorneys at law)
Did आप check if your horn works?
Did आप just fart या did आप always smell that way?
Diplomacy Is Saying “Nice Doggy” Until आप Find A Rock
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
Disappointed? Too bad!
Divers get और tail.
Do I look like a freakin' People Person?
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for आप are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.
Do not put a सवाल mark where God put a period.
Do they ever shut up on your planet.
Do unto others before they do unto you.
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that.
Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell?
D'oh!
Don’t Drink And Drive...You Might Hit A Bump And Spill Your Drink.
Don’t Piss Me Off! I’m Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies.
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously; आप Won’t Get Out Alive
Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
Don't believe everything आप hear या anything आप say.
Don't believe everything आप think.
Don't come knocking if the car is rocking.
Don't delay, paint today
Don't Drink and Drive!
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Don't drive and derive. Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Don't f*** with my head and I won't think with my dick!
Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!
Don't judge a book द्वारा its movie.
Don't laugh it's paid for.
Don't laugh; your daughter may be in back.
Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
Don't make me go medieval on you.
Don't miss heaven for the world.
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
Don't rub the lamp unless you're ready for the genie.
Don't start with me आप won't win!
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Don't trust women.
Don't wish for it...work for it.
Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.
DRIVE IT LIKE आप चुरा लिया IT!
Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION..
Drop Dead
Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out.
Dyslexics Have और Fnu.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Dyslexics Untie!
E. coli Happens
Each दिन is a gift.
Eagles Don't Flock.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
EARTH FIRST - We'll log the other planets later.
Earth first... We will strip the other planets later.
Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Editing Is A Rewording Activity
Elvis has left the planet.
Elvis Is Dead And I’m Not Feeling Too Good Myself
Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery
Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.
Entropy Isn’t What It Used To Be
Eschew Obfuscation
Eschew Obfuscation
ESCHEW OBFUSCATION. (means avoid confusion/overcomplication)
Ever Stop To Think And Forget To Start Again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every silver lining has a cloud.
Every thing is on loan from the government until आप can't pay your taxes.
Everybody looks ब्रेव holding a machine gun.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don’t Have Film.
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
Everything i need to know i learned in prison
Everything is possible just not too probable.
Everything Is Somewhere.
Everytime आप speak आप make someone dumber for listening to you.
EXIT
F U Cn Rd Ths U Cnt Spl Wrth A Dm!
Faster than a speeding ticket.
Fat chicks make my car scrape!
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Fight Socialism...Vote Republican
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering...
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
Flies spread disease, keep yours closed!
FLORIDA: घर of Electile Dysfunction
FLORIDA: If आप don't like the way we vote then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.
FLORIDA: If आप think we can't vote, wait till आप see us drive.
FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, And Revote.
FLORIDA: We count और than आप do.
FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount!
FLORIDA: Where your vote counts and counts and counts.
FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA -- AND STEP ON IT !!
Follow your dreams, except the one where you’re at school in your underwear.
For a small town, this one sure has a lot of assholes!
For him to get an idea, it would be a surgical process.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Forget World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
फ्रेंड्स don't let फ्रेंड्स drive naked!!
फ्रेंड्स don't let फ्रेंड्स miss out on heaven.
फ्रेंड्स Help आप Move. Real फ्रेंड्स Help आप हटाइए Bodies.
Front bumper -Run, Hilary, Run!
Get over it!
Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.
GIMMIEABREAK!
Give blood and आप too can get a free bumper sticker.
Give Me Ambiguity या Give Me Something Else
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Go Braless! It will pull the wrinkles from your face.
Go On, I will See आप At The अगला Light.
God Bless Our Troops.
God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operate one at a time.
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
God made Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve.
God Must प्यार Stupid People, He Made So Many
God must प्यार stupid people...he made so many!
God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
Got Brains?
Got Goth?
Graduate quickly, millions on welfare depend on you.
Graduate Soon! Millions On Welfare Depend On You
Gravity always gets me down.
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
Gravity- It’s not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Grow Your Own Dope, Plant A Man
Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is optional.
Gun control is a steady hand.
Gun control today, Total control tomorrow.
बंदूकों don't kill people. Postal workers do.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
Hang up and drive!
Hang up and drive!
HANG-UP & DRIVE
Happiness is Clinton's face on a दूध carton.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
Have a nice day... somewhere else.
Have आप कुतिया, मतलबी slapped an environmentalist today?
Have आप ever had deja vu? Have आप ever had deja vu??
Have आप ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
Have आप seen Elvis? 1-800-GET-A-LIFE
HE IS ABLE WHO THINKS HE IS ABLE!
HE WHO ANGERS YOU, CONQUERS YOU.
He who angers you, controls you!
He who farts in church sits on his own pew.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only लॉस्ट But Miles From The अगला Exit
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
He’s Not Dead, He’s Electroencephalographically-Challenged
दिल Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Heck is for people that don't believe in Gosh.
Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy
Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
HELP, I AM लॉस्ट AND CANNOT FIND MY BEER!
हे dumb नितंब, गधा I bought my own car, not mommy and daddy!
हे idiot- You're driving a car, not a phone booth
हे man, आप live in America now... speak Spanish!
High beams were made to piss people off!
Hogwarts Dropout
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Honk if I'm Jesus!
Honk if आप are blond.
Honk if आप hate noise pollution!
Honk if आप haven't slept with Clinton!
Honk if आप like peace and quiet.
Honk if आप प्यार boy bands - then drive into a tree.
HONK IF आप प्यार GORE (use the button on your steering wheel)
Honk If आप प्यार Peace And Quiet
Honk if आप प्यार peace and quiet.
Honk if आप प्यार Rush.
Honk If आप Want To See My Finger
Honk If You've Never Seen An उजी, uzi Fired From A Car Window
Hope dies last!
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
House Guarded द्वारा Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
Housework makes women ugly.
How about never? is never good for you?
How Can I Miss आप if आप Won't Go Away?
How can I miss आप if आप won't go away?
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
How may i ignore आप today?
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK
huked on foniks werkd fer me
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!
I admire gay men, they leave और women for me!
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I am not speeding I am qualifying.
I am overjoyed with whelm!
I am represented द्वारा the Law Firm of Dewey, Chedum, and Howe.
I believe in getting in hot water; it keeps आप clean.
I believe the Internet is an information source, not a lifestyle choice.
I brake for no apparent reason.
I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
I brake for…wait…AAAH!…NO BRAKES!!!!!
I can go from zero to कुतिया, मतलबी in 2.2 seconds.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your दिन and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
i can resist everything except temptation.
I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay घर and clean the guns.
I didn't fight my way to the चोटी, शीर्ष of the खाना chain to be a vegetarian.
I Do Whatever My चावल Krispies Tell Me To
I do work for food.
I Don’t Have To Be Dead To Donate My Organ
I Don’t Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every मिनट Of It
I don't decaf
I don't do mornings.
I don't do requests.
I DON'T DRINK IT DULLS THE DRUGS.
I don't drive fast I fly low.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
I don't have a license to kill, I have a learner's permit.
I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.
I don't repeat gossip.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every मिनट of it!
I drank what?
I Drive Like This To Piss आप Off
I drive like this to piss आप off!
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I fish! Therefore, I lie.
I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 मिनटों of my life.
I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushin’ My Luck
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
I Got A Gun For My Wife; Best Trade I Ever Made.
I got this car for my wife...not a bad trade.
I hate bumper stickers!
I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.
I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.
I have BAD PMS and GOOD BRAKES.... आप must be feeling very lucky today.
I have no desire for money. Its stuff that i want.
I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
I hear आप लॉस्ट your cat? Check under my tire.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I just filled up my car with gasoline. Now it's worth $50.00
I Just Got लॉस्ट In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory
I just got लॉस्ट in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I just प्यार nonverbal communication!
I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.
I Know What You’re Thinking And आप Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself.
I know...I know...pull over
I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!!
I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!! This was better than any diet I've ever been on.
I left the womb for this?
I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken.
I like आप but I wouldn't want to see आप working with sub-atomic particles.
I प्यार जानवर - they taste great!
I प्यार animals. I eat them and wear their skins.
I प्यार cats...they taste just like chicken.
I प्यार my country but fear my government.
I प्यार my job...shoot me now!
I प्यार uranus.
I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!.
I may be slow; but I'm ahead of you.
I may have PMS, but you're still a dick!!
I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.
I Must Be A Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes
I must hurry, for there they go and i am their leader.
I Need Someone Really Bad. Are आप Really Bad?
I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go.
I press charges
I pretend to work they pretend to pay me!
I put in contacts for this?
I see dumb people.
I should never have invented the electoral college. -Al Gore
i souport publik edekasion
I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.
I swerve for cats.
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
I think your hard drive has a slipped disk.
I think, therefore I'm dangerous
I took a pain pill. Why are आप still here?
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I Took An IQ Test And The Results Were Negative.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I tried being normal once . . .I didn't like it.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...
I Used To Be Indecisive. Now I’m Not Sure
I Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....
I WANT आप to stay far away from me
I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.
I Was Born Brilliant; Education Ruined Me
I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive but suicide is a crime!
I wish I lived in New York, so I could have Voted Against Hilary!
I Wish I Was Barbie. That कुतिया, मतलबी has EVERYTHING.
I wish I were a glow worm a glow worm is never glum, because how could आप be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum?
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
I Wonder How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges
I wonder if आप would drive well if that cell phone were up your ass.
I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I’m insured द्वारा the mafia, आप hit me and we'll hit you.
I’m Just Driving This Way To Piss आप Off.
I’m Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing.
I’m Out Of बिस्तर And Dressed – What और Do आप Want?
I'd प्यार to trade caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q."
I'd rather be a failure at something i love, than a success at something i hate.
I'd rather be fishing!
Idiots surround me!
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
If at first आप do succeed, try not to look astonished.
If At First आप Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
If at first आप don't succeed, skydiving ain't for you.
If at first आप don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
If बार्बी is so popular, why do आप have to buy her friends?
If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
If God intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.
If God intended us to be vegetarians, why did he make जानवर out of meat?
If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
If ignorance is bliss, आप must be orgasmic.
If It Ain’t Broken... Fix It ‘Til It Is
If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
If it is a man made world, why can't we remake it?
If it isn't broken...fix it until it is!
If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ.
IF ITS TOO LOUD YOUR TOO OLD
If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?
If life hands आप a lemon, stuff your bra with it.
If life is just a game then I must have missed the kickoff.
If life's an idiot then आप must the god.
If प्यार is blind why is लेडीज़ इनवेअर so popular?
If my car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it.
If something goes without saying - LET IT!
If the company's name is YELLOW, why are the trucks painted ORANGE?
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
If We All Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?
If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.
If we weren't meant to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat.
If आप are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
If आप are पढ़ना this आप are पढ़ना off a gay internet site...
If आप can do the time, आप can do the crime.
If आप can read this bumper sticker आप are driving too close.
If आप can read this I can deploy your air bag!!!
If आप can read this I have लॉस्ट my caravan.
If आप can read this sign आप must be a Florida Republican.
If आप can read this the कुतिया, मतलबी fell off.
If आप can read this आप are too close..
If आप can read this you're in range.
If आप can read this, I am parked.
If आप can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
If आप Can Read This, I've लॉस्ट My Trailer.
If आप can read this, roll me over.
If आप can read this, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!
If आप can read this,you were hooked on phonics once...
If आप can read this. thank a teacher.
If आप can read this... I've लॉस्ट my trailer!
If आप cannot convince them, confuse them.
If आप can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
If आप can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
If आप Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
If आप can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
iF आप CAN'T TAKE A JOKE TAKE A HIKE!
If आप didn't get caught, did आप really do it?
If आप don't like my attitude, stop looking at my stickers!
If आप don't like the news, go out and make some.
If आप don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
If आप Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
If आप feel attacked द्वारा feminism, it's probably a counter attack.
If आप get any closer I'll fart!
If आप have something to say, raise your hand. and place it over your mouth.
If आप smoke after s e x you're doing it too fast.
If आप Think I’m A Bitch, Wait Until आप Meet My Mother
If आप think the car is dirty आप should spend a night with the driver!
If आप think the way to a man's दिल is through his stomach...your aiming too high.
If आप think this week was a drag, wait till आप see what happens अगला week!
If आप understand something today, it must be obsolete.
If आप write "WASH ME" on my truck, I'll carve "RECESSITATE ME" on your chest!!!
If your gonna be a turd then go lie out in the yard.
If your ship hasn't come in...Swim out to it!
If your stupid and आप know it honk your horn.
If you're against logging, try wiping your नितंब, गधा with plastic.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
I'll not stop
Illiterate? Write For Free Help
I'm a member of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. Keep honking I'm reloading.
I'm against ABORTION because I was once a fetus.
I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
I'm an optimist, but I don't think it helps.
I'm back द्वारा लोकप्रिय demand.
I'm feeling uppity
I'm leaving my body to science fiction
I'm looking आगे to regretting this!
I'm not a psychiatrist; I'm just an expert at being confused.
I'm not as dumb as आप look.
I'm not as think as आप drunk I am.
I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
I'm not littering.... I'm donating to the earth.
I'm not really a driver I just play one on TV.
Im not tailgating im just tring to keep my bumper on.
I'm not your monkey
I'm objective; I object to everything.
I'm only a hypochondriac when I feel sick.
I'm only driving this way to piss आप off.
I'm only here to ANNOY!!
I'm out of बिस्तर and dressed. What और do आप want?
I'm serious; it was a joke.
I'm so hungry I am farting fresh air.
I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
I'm with the band.
I'm wondering if आप have any horns with goofy songs?
Impeach President Clinton and her husband too.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
In theory, everything works.
Inflation is when the buck doesn't stop anywhere.
Insanity is hereditary; आप get it from your kids!
Instead of concentrating on this bumper sticker, maybe आप should be concentrating on the road!
IRS: We’ve Got What It Takes To Take What You’ve Got.
It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.
It Is As Bad As आप Think, And They Are Out To Get You.
It takes a Viking to raze a village.
It takes और faith to believe that I came from a monkey than to believe that I came from God.
It took 40 years to make me look this good.
It’s been one of those days all week
It’s Lonely At The Top, But आप Eat Better.
It's a Macintosh; it's got an excuse.
It's a wonderful life.... With me.
It's all a pigment of your hallucination.
Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Its always too early to quit.
It's as BAD as आप think, and they ARE out to get you.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's been Monday all week.
It's easier to child-proof your gun than to bullet-proof your child.
It's lonely at the top, but आप eat better.
It's Not How आप Pick Your Nose, But Where आप Put The Booger.
Its not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't wanna be there when it happens.
It's not the size of the नाव that matters; it's the motion in the ocean.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog!
It's time to pull over and let the air out of your brain.
I've been dieting for the past month, but all I लॉस्ट was 31 days!!
I've forgotten और than I've ever learned
I've दिया up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.
I've लॉस्ट my phone number - can I have yours?
I've lowered my expectations to the point where they've already been met.
I've upped my standards, now up yours!
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
Jerry's dead, Phish sucks, get a job.
येशु Is Coming! Look Busy!
येशु is coming... Look busy.
येशु loves you, but everyone else still thinks you're an नितंब, गधा hole.
येशु saves lives and them redeems them for valuable prizes.
येशु Saves… He Passes It To Gretzky… He Shoots… He Scores!
शामिल होइए the IRS (Be audit आप can be)
Judge me all u want. Just keep the verdict to yourself!
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Just plead the Fifth -- या drink it -- either way.
Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.
Keep America clean...swallow your बीयर, बियर cans.
Kevorkian for Surgeon General
Kids in the backseat cause accidents.... accidents in the backseat cause kids.
किस me, i'm toxic
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Laugh and the world laughs with आप cry and the world laughs at you.
Laughter, cries and all that is wise...
Learn from your parent's mistakes use birth control!
Lets get along with me.
Life is 10% what आप make it and 90% how आप take it.
Life is a glitch in the universal program; death is just the programmer's way of debugging.
Life is a lesson you'll learn it when you're through.
Life is a terminal disease.
Life is just one of those things.
Life is like a straw it sucks.
Life is not a garden, so quit being a hoe!
Life is too complicated in the morning.
Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.
Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.
Life Sucks. and it leaves some mean hickies
Life. Its just a cereal
Life's a beach, and then आप drown.
Life's a bitch, and then आप die.
Life's a garden, dig it.
Life's expensive; drive defensive.
Life's too short to dance with ugly men/women.
Life's way too short to stay on topic
Listen to the silence!!
Live as long as आप like. It won't shorten how long you're dead.
Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse behind.
Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
Look before आप open your eyes.
Look out! Behind you!
Lord, please save me from your followers.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
प्यार for all, Hatred for none
प्यार is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make WAR, not SEX, it's safer!
Man made beer, God made pot आप make the choice.
Maybe येशु Loves You, But Everyone Else Thinks You’re An Asshole
Mean people suck.
Men are idiots and i married their king.
Men are like outhouse's, always taken या full of shit!
Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.
Men are proof that women have a sense of humor.
MEN. bigger. stronger. better.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.
Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for आप they can't laugh either.
Mistakes are proof that आप are trying.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
और people I meet, और I like my dog....
Most Americans have Faith... आप can tell द्वारा the Way They Drive
Most people plan to serve God at 11:00 and die at 10:30!
Musicians Duet Better
My boss is like a diaper, full of shit and always on my ass!
My boss treats me like a mushroom; He feeds me shit, and keeps me in the dark.
My child beat up your honor student!
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the जवाब to the test.
My child was inmate of the महीना at the County Jail.
My प्रिय color is chocolate.
My god can beat up your god
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your सॉकर Mom.
My IQ came back negative!
My karma ran over your dogma.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
My Kid Had Sex With Your Honor Student
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My other auto is a 9MM.
My other car is a piece of shit.
My other car sticker is funny.
My other ride is your mom
My other toy has tits.
My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
My Reality Check Just Bounced
My son can kick your son's honor student butt.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... या something like that.
My wife कहा "If आप go hunting या fishing one और time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.
My wife कहा if I watch one और Yankees game she is leaving. God I'll miss her.
National Atheist's दिन April 1
Never cut what आप can untie.
Never eat और than आप can lift.
Never judge a girl द्वारा her bumper sticker.
Never put off till tomorrow what आप can avoid all together.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No दस्ताना, दस्ताने no love.
No matter how bad it gets, It can always get worse.
No matter where आप go; you're there.
No prohibiting allowed!
No Radio - Already Stolen!
No Sense Being Pessimistic. It Wouldn’t Work Anyway
No सूप for you..
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!
Non-Partisan. Non-Republican.
Not a RULES type of girl.
Not all who wander are lost.
Not Screaming And Yelling Like The Passengers In His Car
Nothing Is Foolproof To A Sufficiently-Talented Fool
Nothing is illegal until आप get caught.
Nothing is impossible to the person that doesn't have to do it.
Now That आप Are चुंबन My Bumper... Wanna Get Married?!?!?!
Nuke the Whales.
Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Of all the things I've लॉस्ट I miss my mind the most!
Oh look! just 2,852,677 और days til i start caring what आप think.
Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
On The Other Hand, आप Have Different Fingers
One और repo and I’ll be debt free!
Only in America can a Vietnam Vet live in a cardboard box on the सड़क, स्ट्रीट and a draft dodger live in the White House.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when आप haven't sent one out.
Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes
Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!
Overpopulation... too much of a good thing.
Pardon My Driving. I’m Reloading
Park in rear
Pay good teachers good money
People before profits!
People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two या more.
Please don't hit me I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.
Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
Please! do not feed the ego!
Police line. DO NOT CROSS.
Pol-I-Tics poli meaning many, ticks meaning small blood sucking parasites.
Practice सुरक्षित government. Use kingdoms.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Proud mother of a delinquent child!
Pull my finger.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Quiet brain! या I'll poke आप with another Q-tip.
Radioactive बिल्ली have 18 half-lives.
Rap Is To संगीत What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
Real Men प्यार Jesus!
Real women don't have hot flashes they have power surges.
Reality Is A Crutch For People Who Can’t Handle Drugs.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is a figment of your imagination.
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
RECYCLE YOUR ANIMALS
Rehab is for quitters.
RELISH TODAY...KETCHEUP TOMORROW
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH.
Remember My Name – You’ll Be Screaming It Later
Remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Repetition is always better the सेकंड time.
S.A.S.R. - Speeders Against Ski Racks
S.C.A.R.Y. (Southern Citizens Advocating the Relocation of Yankees)
S.O.B.E.R. - Sick Of Banning Everyone's Rights
Santa’s Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses
Sarcasm helps keep आप from telling people what आप really think of them.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
Save on gas, go fart in a jar.
Save the planet recycle an environmentalist.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set
Save Your Breath – You’ll Need It To Blow Up Your Date!
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
Say say NO thank you.
Scixelsyd Etinu (backward)
Screw आप guys, I'm going home!
Seen It All, Done It All, Can’t Remember Most Of It
Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."
Sex is a misdemeanor . . .the और I miss it, the meaner I get!!
She’s Always Late. Her Ancestors Arrived On The June Flower
Sheesh!
Short Chicks rock!
Simplify
Sleep well Mum.
Slow thinkers keep right.
Smile and at nice.
Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and आप stand alone.
Smile. It’s The सेकंड Best Thing आप Can Do With Your Lips.
Smile.........show off your teeth.
SNIPER BAR & GRILL: All आप need is one shot!
so close to read it!
So many cats.... So little time.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
So you're a feminist - isn't that cute!
Some have morals; some don't, and most simply ignore them.
Some People Are Alive Only Because It’s Illegal To Kill Them
Someday your prince will come. Mine got लॉस्ट took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!
Sorry, I don't तारीख, दिनांक outside my species.
Sorry, आप are not a winner
Spank Me!
Spare the fenders, save the trees, give the sober friend the keys.
Squirrel...it's what's for dinner.
sticker and watch the road!!!")
Stop global whining.
Stop पढ़ना My Bumper Stickers and DRIVE!!
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Stress is when आप wake up screaming and आप realize आप haven't fallen asleep yet.
Study long study wrong.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Stupid should hurt!
Stupidity should be punished.
Stupify
Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them.
Suicide is away of telling God, आप can't आग me I quit!!!!!
Super Bowl is french for...sitting on your नितंब, गधा and getting fat.
Support a cause stop plate tectonics.
Support bacteria! It's the only culture some people have.
Support publik edekasion
Support yogurt, it's the only culture some people have.
Surgeon Generals Warning: Smoking is bad for you. आप always known that, just like everybody else. So if आप do it for 20 या 30 years, don't come crying to the courts if it makes आप sick. How stupid are आप anyways?
T.G.I.F Thank God I'm Female.
Take me drunk I' m home.
Talk only if आप can improve on the silence.
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either!
Ted Kennedy's car has killed और people than my gun.
Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.
Thank You...YOU MAY GO!!
Thanks for being a contestant.
That’s all I'm saying and I ain't saying no more.
The American Dream is a chicken in every pot. Why did we elect a chicken that smoked pot?
The beatings will continue until employee morale improves.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened.
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
The early bird gets the worm, but the सेकंड माउस gets the cheese.
The Earth Is Full - Go घर
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The good thing about small cars is that आप can fit twice as many into a traffic jam.
The horn blows does the driver!
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.
The Lord made us all different... Democrats want to make us all the same!
The meek will Internet the world.
The और I learn, the less I understand.
The और people I meet, the और I like my dog.
The और आप Complain, The Longer God Makes आप Live.
The और आप listen, the और आप know.
The number of people staring at आप is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.
The princess is in.
The road to hell is paved with democrats!
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
The सेकंड Place Is The First Loser
The Sex Was So Good That Even The Neighbors Had A Cigarette.
The sky is always bluer at the चोटी, शीर्ष of the windshield.
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
The squeaky wheel is often replaced.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
There are only three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't.
There are only two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead!!!!
There are only two things in life आप can count on: Death and Taxes.
There are two kinds of drivers; those who make dust & those who eat it..
There is no shortcut to anywhere worth going.
They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
They told me I was gullible...then they took it out of the dictionary.
They're not hot flashes...they're POWER SURGES!
THINK before आप ACT.
This car is constipated: hasn't passed a thing all day!
This car is designed द्वारा computer, built द्वारा a robot, driven द्वारा a moron.
This car is protected द्वारा an anti-theft sticker!
This is not an abandoned car.
This is the rebel base.
This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't लॉस्ट one yet..
This vehicle insured द्वारा Smith and Wesson.
This was better than any diet I've ever been on.
This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you'd be dead.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
Those Who Live द्वारा The Sword Get Shot द्वारा Those Who Don’t
Those who live द्वारा the sword get shot द्वारा those who don't.
Time Circles: The Lord Creates The Universe Evolves The Lord
Time flies when आप don't know what you're doing.
Time flies when आप don't know what you're doing.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
To all आप virgins; thanks for nothing!
To be loved, be lovable
To be old and wise आप must first be young and stupid.
To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.
To आप it's a six-pack; to me it's a support group.
Today's subliminal message is: ( )
Too many freaks, not enough circus's!
Try it sober!
Turn Signals: Not just for smart people anymore.
Unless You're A Hemorrhoid, STAY OFF MY ASS!
Unlike online, in reality, आप can’t hit the back button.
Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!
Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Up My Clothes.
visualize whirled peas
Vote BUSH/CHENEY
Want to be somebody? Don't drive after drinking.
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
WARNING: mental backup in progress.
Was today really necessary?
WATCH OUT! COMING THROUGH!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
We are having EVER so much fun!
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. आप Will Be Assimilated.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. आप WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
We have enough youth. How about a फव्वारा of "Smart"?
Welcome to California. Now go home!
Welcome to reality...come again soon.
Welcome To Shit Creek – Sorry, We’re Out Of Paddles
Well, isn't that special!
What happens if आप get scared half to death twice?
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what its all about?
What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?
wHAT IS THIS? BIZARROLAND??
What part of link do आप not understand?
WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO!
What would Xena Do?
What आप don't do is always और important than what आप do do.
What, are आप stuck on stupid.
Whatever!
When all else fails, lower your standards.
When blondes have और fun, do they know it?
WHEN GOD MADE MAN, SHE WAS ONLY JOKING.
When I die bury me upside down so the world can किस my ass.
When I married 'Mr. Right,' I didn't know his first name was 'always.'
When i want your opinion i'll beat it out of you.
When in danger या in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
When life is bad...keep your head up, that way आप don't see all the shit you've stepped in.
When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Empty
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
When आप do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Where is this porn?
Where There’s A Will, I’m In The Way.
Where there's a will there's a BEER!
Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
Which came first, the woman या the department store?
Who are these kids and why are they calling me MOM?
Who died and made आप Darth Vader?.
Who is General Failure and why is he पढ़ना my hard disk?
who needs this crap.
Who put a stop payment on my reality check?
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Who's Your Daddy?
Why am I so thirsty when I drank so much last night?
Why are girls that way?
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, आप can be impossible?
Why be normal?
Why can't women learn to put the toilet सीट back up?
Why did God give beauty queens one और brain cell than horses? So they wouldn't shit on stage.
Why do psychics have to ask आप for your name?
Why do they call it a bumper if your not going to use it?
Why do we believe everything we see in newspapers but सवाल what the Bible says?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
WHY ME?
Wink, I'll do the rest!
Without pain and suffering आप have no choice!
Women are born leaders, LOOK आप are following one now!
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Wouldn't it be nice if there were an Escape key for all of our problems?
Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a कुतिया, मतलबी in the valley.
YES this is my truck, NO I won't help आप move!.
Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Do Own The Whole Damn Road!
Yes, in fact...my father does own this road.
Yesterday I knew nothing today I know that.
आप ain't seen nothin' yet...
आप Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot
आप are driving to close I can see your bald spot.
आप ARE HERE!
आप are only young once, but आप can stay immature indefinitely.
आप are right where आप belong, behind me!
आप can pick your nose and pick your friends, but आप can't wipe your फ्रेंड्स on the couch.
आप can't be late until आप दिखाना up.
आप get all this and my dads loaded.
आप have been a naughty boy, go to my room!
आप have the right to remain silent. Anything आप say will be misquoted, then used against you.
आप Have The Right To Remain Silent. Anything आप Say Will Be Misquoted And Used Against You
आप have to be really secure to be seen in this car.
आप just lived your best moment, now GO live another!
आप know your getting older when Happy घंटा is a nap.
आप went on vacation and all i got was this stupid bumper sticker?
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
YOU! Out of the gene pool.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me
Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You’re Still An Asshole
Your lucky color has faded.
Your such a Muggle!
Your village called, their idiot is missing.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
You're not drunk if आप can lie on the floor without hanging on.
You're not the boss of me!
Is uranus a black hole?