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I wrote a chapter to a book I wanna make. Does it sound good?

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I wrote this and put it up as a article. Some of आप might of already read some of this, but I just some और up to see if आप would like this. Thankies!
 CrystalNeons posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
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MikuPockyPocky said:
Holy crap, I प्यार this!!!!!! Awesome job, write moar!!! :3
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posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना 
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Thank you! I'm working on it right now ^^
CrystalNeons posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
prettyme16 said:
I really like it! :) keep up the good job!
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posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना 
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Thank you!!
CrystalNeons posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
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i reckon when आप finish this story, it should so become a movie! i want more!!!!
prettyme16 posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
laura199627 said:
It´s really interesting and pretty good, great job!
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