Niall Horan Fanfic Chapter 21: My दिल Will Go On
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He कहा his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat अगला to me.
“Hazel?” he कहा questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for आप every step of the way. Not just Niall. आप can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He कहा putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in बिस्तर back at the hotel. I don’t know how या when I got there, या how या when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are आप going to get up?” he कहा sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me आप know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I कहा nodding my head.
“Ally,” he कहा pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want आप to be happy. To get up every दिन and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved आप and would want आप to go on, with या without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I कहा half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I कहा beginning to cry.
“Of course आप will.” He कहा grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his दिल beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I कहा again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die या leave you.” He कहा चुंबन my head.
“Niall, I प्यार you.” I said.
“I प्यार आप too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since आप couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go घर and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I कहा beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall कहा rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, आप were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is आप fault. आप are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are आप going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick आप up from the airport. Everything will be okay. आप don’t have to do anything आप aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will आप come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I कहा shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going घर today, actually in a half an घंटा I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. द्वारा the time आप get घर I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking आप to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I कहा calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we कहा our goodbyes.
“I प्यार आप okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I प्यार you.” He said.
“I प्यार आप too.” I कहा चुंबन him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all दिन and night sitting on the सोफ़ा, सोफे watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do आप want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze आप haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall कहा about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I कहा mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. आप are still alive, and आप need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The अगला दिन Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see आप soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove घर in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
हे babe :)Be ready द्वारा 4 p.m. I प्यार आप babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I प्यार him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He कहा his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat अगला to me.
“Hazel?” he कहा questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for आप every step of the way. Not just Niall. आप can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He कहा putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in बिस्तर back at the hotel. I don’t know how या when I got there, या how या when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are आप going to get up?” he कहा sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me आप know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I कहा nodding my head.
“Ally,” he कहा pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want आप to be happy. To get up every दिन and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved आप and would want आप to go on, with या without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I कहा half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I कहा beginning to cry.
“Of course आप will.” He कहा grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his दिल beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I कहा again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die या leave you.” He कहा चुंबन my head.
“Niall, I प्यार you.” I said.
“I प्यार आप too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since आप couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go घर and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I कहा beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall कहा rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, आप were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is आप fault. आप are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are आप going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick आप up from the airport. Everything will be okay. आप don’t have to do anything आप aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will आप come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I कहा shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going घर today, actually in a half an घंटा I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. द्वारा the time आप get घर I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking आप to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I कहा calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we कहा our goodbyes.
“I प्यार आप okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I प्यार you.” He said.
“I प्यार आप too.” I कहा चुंबन him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all दिन and night sitting on the सोफ़ा, सोफे watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do आप want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze आप haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall कहा about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I कहा mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. आप are still alive, and आप need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The अगला दिन Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see आप soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove घर in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
हे babe :)Be ready द्वारा 4 p.m. I प्यार आप babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I प्यार him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
Well Directioners, it looks like our boys made a good impression whilst over in America, as rumours have emerged that Nickelodeon are tempted to offer them their own show.
Due to the overwhelming reception from प्रशंसकों they received on their हाल का whistle-stop tour, a स्रोत told Now magazine: “Simon Cowell has vowed to launch them on the US X Factor, while Nickelodeon are in talks to give them their own show.”
We’ve yet to see the iCarly episode which they filmed so can’t टिप्पणी दे on their अभिनय skills yet, but if true, it bodes very well for any future success in the USA, if not all over the world.
In other news, Harry Styles has been told to शामिल होइए an exercise class to cure his back problems.
Harry कहा last month: “I have bad posture and I’ve been told to take pilates once a week.”
We bet that class will be one of the busiest around! “Mum, mum, I wanna take up Pilates, please!”
Due to the overwhelming reception from प्रशंसकों they received on their हाल का whistle-stop tour, a स्रोत told Now magazine: “Simon Cowell has vowed to launch them on the US X Factor, while Nickelodeon are in talks to give them their own show.”
We’ve yet to see the iCarly episode which they filmed so can’t टिप्पणी दे on their अभिनय skills yet, but if true, it bodes very well for any future success in the USA, if not all over the world.
In other news, Harry Styles has been told to शामिल होइए an exercise class to cure his back problems.
Harry कहा last month: “I have bad posture and I’ve been told to take pilates once a week.”
We bet that class will be one of the busiest around! “Mum, mum, I wanna take up Pilates, please!”
one direction आप are so beautiful
Liam:
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
Can't आप see
Harry:
Your everything i hoped for
Your everything i need
आप are so beautiful to me
Zayn:
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
Can't आप see
Harry:
Your everything i hoped for
Your everything i need
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
watch it here: link
Liam:
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
Can't आप see
Harry:
Your everything i hoped for
Your everything i need
आप are so beautiful to me
Zayn:
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
Can't आप see
Harry:
Your everything i hoped for
Your everything i need
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
आप are so beautiful to me
watch it here: link
one direction chasing cars
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
या anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would आप lie with me
And just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are कहा too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would आप lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
दिखाना me a garden
That's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
[CHORUS]
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
या anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would आप lie with me
And just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are कहा too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would आप lie with me
And just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
दिखाना me a garden
That's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
[CHORUS]
one direction my life would suck without आप
Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means आप take back
All आप कहा before
Like how much आप wanted
Anyone but me
कहा you'd never come back
But here आप are again
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
आप got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling आप goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you
[CHORUS]
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can’t let आप go
Oh yeah
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
आप got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you. X2
Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means आप take back
All आप कहा before
Like how much आप wanted
Anyone but me
कहा you'd never come back
But here आप are again
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
आप got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling आप goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you
[CHORUS]
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can’t let आप go
Oh yeah
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
आप got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you. X2