Tom went to a nearby स्टूल, मल to grab a zip of water.
Crowd: Turn around!
Tom: *Looks at the ponies behind him*
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Have I been ignoring your section?
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Well I'm sorry. I'll make a note of that in my rulebook of comedy. I usually don't care for following rules द्वारा the way.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Many of them just seem pointless, and vague. Like the social distance craze that didn't last very long last year. For a good reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: First off, what the fuck is so social about it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hi Jerry. Stay 6 feet away या I'll पंच आप in the eye!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And there's thousands of ponies that agree with me on this one. Speed limits.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The Germans know this. That's why on one of their highways called the Autobahn, there is no speed limit.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: A lot of rules in Monopoly piss me off as well.
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: One of my फ्रेंड्स got accused of cheating द्वारा robbing the bank, but he कहा he wanted to make it feel और like real life.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But there were many rules that didn't make sense when I was growing up as a little colt.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: We all had to go through this, unless you're that one naughty 9 साल old who चुरा लिया this program from your parents, या older sibling without their knowledge and are therefore watching this even though आप shouldn't.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Have to keep everyone alert from time to time.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But all of us adults had to go through this procedure during our childhood.
Tom took another quick zip of water, then continued his joke.
Tom: Now not all of these rules were bad, like running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: That was one I always obeyed. What are आप doing?! I'm not running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Mom didn't want me poking my eye out. My dad always कहा don't stick your head out of the window. He didn't want me getting decapitated while we drove around town in the Jeep.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: But many of the rules my parents came up with I thought were bad. The first one was, no गाना at the table.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? Because I कहा so.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was the first sign of a bad rule. Because I कहा so. So what happened? One pilgrim hundreds of years पूर्व ruined it for everyone because his voice constantly cracked?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: आप can still sing while standing near the table. आप just can't sit there.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sings* I'm standing द्वारा the table. गाना द्वारा the table. I'm not sitting, because I can't sing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Impersonates the dad* Sit down you!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was your middle name, you.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Tom आप Foolery. Kinda has a nice ring to it. It would make और sense though if my last name was shortened to fool.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Then whenever I did something that angered my parents they would shout Tom आप fool!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Sometimes if I did something they considered dangerous they always कहा the same thing over and over again. आप could have broken your neck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was always the anticipated outcome, a broken neck. What if I jumped down the stairs, या out of a window?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They never said, आप could have broken your legs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It was always a broken neck. What if I was playing with the electrical outlets?
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: That was another stupid rule because your hooves are not small enough to fit inside the outlets. Therefore आप don't need to worry about getting electrocuted.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But those parents. They always say, don't plug anything into the outlet!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Of course if आप do break one of their rules, they'll also say go to your room! They make that sound like a bad thing, but that's where all your stuff is.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Go to your room! Thanks mom. I'm gonna play some Nintendo.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's the one thing that sucks about being a child, आप have many rules आप need to follow, and nobody takes आप seriously since you're smaller than them.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But as आप get older, and taller, आप have और freedom, a couple of responsibilities, and the only downside to this is the higher risk of being thrown in jail if आप do anything illegal.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But it gets even better when your age continues to increase, because आप can start doing things that आप weren't able to do after आप passed the age of 5.
Crowd: Oh boy.
Tom: Ahhh.... I can finally shit my pants again.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Most of us don't even wear pants, which makes it even और fun for the others आप encounter out in public.
Crowd: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: And for those of आप that complain about sleep, you'll be able to take और naps.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You'll get a solid 10 hours of pure bliss. Maybe even longer. Another thing आप can start doing again is forgetting stuff.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: आप won't have to remember a god damn thing ever again!
Crowd: *Cheering*
2 B Continued
Crowd: Turn around!
Tom: *Looks at the ponies behind him*
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Have I been ignoring your section?
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Well I'm sorry. I'll make a note of that in my rulebook of comedy. I usually don't care for following rules द्वारा the way.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Many of them just seem pointless, and vague. Like the social distance craze that didn't last very long last year. For a good reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: First off, what the fuck is so social about it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hi Jerry. Stay 6 feet away या I'll पंच आप in the eye!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And there's thousands of ponies that agree with me on this one. Speed limits.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The Germans know this. That's why on one of their highways called the Autobahn, there is no speed limit.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: A lot of rules in Monopoly piss me off as well.
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: One of my फ्रेंड्स got accused of cheating द्वारा robbing the bank, but he कहा he wanted to make it feel और like real life.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But there were many rules that didn't make sense when I was growing up as a little colt.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: We all had to go through this, unless you're that one naughty 9 साल old who चुरा लिया this program from your parents, या older sibling without their knowledge and are therefore watching this even though आप shouldn't.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Have to keep everyone alert from time to time.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But all of us adults had to go through this procedure during our childhood.
Tom took another quick zip of water, then continued his joke.
Tom: Now not all of these rules were bad, like running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: That was one I always obeyed. What are आप doing?! I'm not running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Mom didn't want me poking my eye out. My dad always कहा don't stick your head out of the window. He didn't want me getting decapitated while we drove around town in the Jeep.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: But many of the rules my parents came up with I thought were bad. The first one was, no गाना at the table.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? Because I कहा so.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was the first sign of a bad rule. Because I कहा so. So what happened? One pilgrim hundreds of years पूर्व ruined it for everyone because his voice constantly cracked?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: आप can still sing while standing near the table. आप just can't sit there.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sings* I'm standing द्वारा the table. गाना द्वारा the table. I'm not sitting, because I can't sing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Impersonates the dad* Sit down you!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was your middle name, you.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Tom आप Foolery. Kinda has a nice ring to it. It would make और sense though if my last name was shortened to fool.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Then whenever I did something that angered my parents they would shout Tom आप fool!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Sometimes if I did something they considered dangerous they always कहा the same thing over and over again. आप could have broken your neck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was always the anticipated outcome, a broken neck. What if I jumped down the stairs, या out of a window?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They never said, आप could have broken your legs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It was always a broken neck. What if I was playing with the electrical outlets?
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: That was another stupid rule because your hooves are not small enough to fit inside the outlets. Therefore आप don't need to worry about getting electrocuted.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But those parents. They always say, don't plug anything into the outlet!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Of course if आप do break one of their rules, they'll also say go to your room! They make that sound like a bad thing, but that's where all your stuff is.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Go to your room! Thanks mom. I'm gonna play some Nintendo.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's the one thing that sucks about being a child, आप have many rules आप need to follow, and nobody takes आप seriously since you're smaller than them.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But as आप get older, and taller, आप have और freedom, a couple of responsibilities, and the only downside to this is the higher risk of being thrown in jail if आप do anything illegal.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But it gets even better when your age continues to increase, because आप can start doing things that आप weren't able to do after आप passed the age of 5.
Crowd: Oh boy.
Tom: Ahhh.... I can finally shit my pants again.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Most of us don't even wear pants, which makes it even और fun for the others आप encounter out in public.
Crowd: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: And for those of आप that complain about sleep, you'll be able to take और naps.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You'll get a solid 10 hours of pure bliss. Maybe even longer. Another thing आप can start doing again is forgetting stuff.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: आप won't have to remember a god damn thing ever again!
Crowd: *Cheering*
2 B Continued
