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posted by DE4DLIESTP0NY
(Originally written at link द्वारा me )


Equestria, a thriving land for ponies everywhere. Protected द्वारा the elements of harmony, its impervious to any intruders. Nothing bad ever happens and all is nice, but it wasn't always this way. Years पूर्व there was a dark time, a war that changed the future of the land, and made it the peaceful and perfect place that it is today.

    It began one fateful दिन on the hills outside of Cheval City, one of the earlier settlements. Nova Sunshine, (OC) a young, intelligent mercenary with a red mane and tail, yellow body, and light गुलाबी eyes; hoof-picked द्वारा Princess Celestia herself for her resourcefulness and ability to track anypony and everypony she needed to. She was headed to Gallop Town to investigate the disapearences of some bunnies in the area. Nova was walking on her way when out out of the corner of her eye she saw a small नारंगी, ऑरेंज motion in the woods to the left. She assumes it's nothing but a mind trick दिया that she was up all night tracking diamond theives across town. She continues ahead towards town, forgetting it ever happened. After a few मिनटों of climbing the hills of the beautiful meadow she saw an unusual sight, A bright red light स्रोत in the general direction of the town. She decided to investigate while making her way there.

    As Nova got closer she saw और peculiar sights. Tall black structures stood eerily on stone roads like a ruins. There were no signs of life not even a plant. As she got closer to the main sources of light she heard loud, blood curdling screams that would make ordinary ponies quiver in eternal fear, but not Nova, for her father was slain in front of her very eyes. She was hardened and was not scared one bit, though she had much concern for the ponies making those screams. Armed with a PK-49 sniper rifle, and an NS-16 (not real guns) pistol, she continued on, not afraid to use them. It didnt take long for Nova to realize that she was in the middle of a burning city, and that city was Gallop Town.

    She started searching frantically for survivors. She searched in almost every building she came across; lifting fallen chunks of walls, searching around every corner, and even inside of currently burning buildings. Despite her efforts she found no ponies, no life alive या dead. Nova was too late.

    She decided to go back to Cheval City and रिपोर्ट this the princess immediatly. She started running to get back as fast as she could but as she was almost out she saw a little purple foal, the only survivor of the blaze. it was standing there calmly like nothing happened. It was probably too young to understand tragedy, या life and death situations. Nova started to pick up the बछेड़ा, फोल when she heard movement other than that of herself and the foal's. Nova turned around to the glare of a red creature, covered in bright red flames. there was no doubt in her mind that it alone reduced the city to ashes and embers.

    Nova quickly swiped the बछेड़ा, फोल off the ground and secured it tho the strap that she uses to hold her rifle, and began sprinting towards the meadow, she didnt want to fight something that she has never seen before, या ever even knew existed. Once she exited the city and started entering the meadow just outside she realized that if she ran into the meadow the creature would follow, and simply burn it as well. luckily there was a river nearby that would stop it cold, if she could lead it to it. Nevertheless she started running towards the stream. The beast never broke its line of sight with Nova in an everlasting leer.

    Nova jumped over the river and looked back at the creature it was still following her, slowly. It walked down the bank, and in the river,still never breaking its line of sight. It walked straight into the river. When it was completely submerged Nova calmly turned around, placed the बछेड़ा, फोल on the ground, and started guiding it back to Cheval City.

    [center]But the fight was not over.[/center]

     Amazingly, the creature resurfaced from what should've been a cold end. Shortly afterwards it let out a ground-shattering battlecry, and charged at Nova faster than ever. This regained her attention, and she evaded the creature's attack barely in time, but not fast enough. The creature got close enough for its आग to burn her rear right leg. In addition, in her haste she left the foal, putting it in the mercy of the beast. Nova was down, and the creature, flames brighter than ever, started towards the foal. Nova knew that if she didn't do something, that बछेड़ा, फोल would be dead before it could even strike it down.

    As fast as she could she took her pistol and fired one shot in the air to get the beast's attention. It worked, but she still didn't have much time. Now the beast was charging Nova again, and she was still down, but now she was shooting to kill. With one hoof she fired her pistol multiple times, unloading the entire clip. This however was very inaccurate and most shots missed. The few that did had little effect on the beast, but it did slow it down. This gave Nova the time she needed to recover after a few और seconds, she was able to stand up again, just before the beast got close. She evaded the strike, and began to pull out her sniper rifle; the only thing left that could stop it. But the creature got smarter and started using its own projectiles. The beast shot a beam of आग at her. She evaded it but in exchange didn't have the time to pull out her rifle. The beast shot और आग at her, and it missed every time, but Nova still didn't have enough time to finish it.

    The creature grew tired and returned its attention back to the foal. It knew that it couldn't fight back. Nova finally had her chance to end it all, but there was absolutely no margin for error, या the बछेड़ा, फोल will die. She only had one shot
    [center]
    She pulled out her rifle,
    Held it firmly in her hooves,
    Held her breath,
    And pulled the trigger...[/center]
    
    [center]She Missed[/center]

    The beast shot its आग at the foal, and Nova could do nothing but watch and reload her rifle.

    Suddenly, a field of energy surrounded the foal; saving its life. Only the बछेड़ा, फोल was responsible for it. Nova was awestruck, but didn't hesitate and took the सेकंड shot. The bullet penetrated deep within its skull (assuming it has one) and the beast fell to the heated dirt below. after a few सेकंड्स its आग decreased; from red, to orange, to yellow, to blue, to nothing. She examined the metal shell it had for a body, cold to the touch. They began their journey back to Cheval City once more. She now took a closer look at the foal. It was a female unicorn with purple hair. Nova decided to raise the टट्टू as her own, and named her Twilight Sparkle.




[center]CHAPTER TWO IN PROGRESS[/center]
    Don't worry that WAS NOT the "dark time,"or"epic battle I mentioned" this is only the beginning I AM MAKING और if आप like it , follow me THERE'S और COMING SOON.
added by TimberHumphrey
video
my
magic
friendship
my little टट्टू
माइ लिट्ल पोनी फ्रेंडशिप ईज़ मॅजिक
video
my
magic
friendship
my little टट्टू
माइ लिट्ल पोनी फ्रेंडशिप ईज़ मॅजिक
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy दिखाना that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank आप everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank आप very much....
continue reading...
आप see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, आप got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, आप got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If आप wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If आप wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is और than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what आप needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
so here are a few theories i got for this show:

Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult टट्टू stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.

Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's चोटी, शीर्ष student, i always thought there was something और to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're और than just teacher and ex-student.

Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted द्वारा his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's दिखाना is here.

Tom: Now, most of आप probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give आप an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and आप stop at a red light. Do आप ever try to हटाइए an extra inch या two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when आप see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. आप just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining आप with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most हाल का film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His हाल का role as Dr. Robotnik...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but आप know what another लोकप्रिय target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now आप assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do आप really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy दिखाना without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, या the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, या Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things आप should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: आप know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where आप can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy दिखाना that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank आप everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank आप very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help आप officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. आप know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black परिवर्तनीय with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the परिवर्तनीय they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times द्वारा a blue unicorn. He gets punched one और time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting अगला to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted द्वारा the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting अगला to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are आप angry at me?
Jake: आप owe me an apology for the way आप talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are आप getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: आप quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
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Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 या something, idk), is that this club has लॉस्ट its backbone. The हाल का year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD
posted by SomeoneButNoone
My name? Alonzo Langusa. Age when I started operating? 23.


Act II

Vengeance...

Living was hard. I had to hide my name. I had to find a good job yet there was not enough money. Life was rough and it was because of these man. Vincent Galar, Apollo Monetto and Angelo Vertezio. I was taught द्वारा ma'am Crossroad not to kill. Yet I wanted to. I wanted vengeance. At age of 15 I started smoking and further drinking at age of 17 until at age of 23 I was kicked from my apartment. I went to Canterlot to find my good old friend her name was Clara. When I came she was shocked. I still remember it.


"Who are you?"...
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