100: Being a complete jerk to people all the time will make them like you, and sometimes, they will also fall in प्यार with you.

99: Vicodin will cure all wounds.

98: It's NEVER Lupus.

97: आप should know all about your sperm donors before utilizing their sperm. आप don't want your kid to be beaten up, after all.

96: Get a good alarm system and guard dog if you're going to be admitted into a certain Doctor House's care.

95: If you're a nurse and looking for spicing up your sex life, get a job in oncology.

94: Why read पुस्तकें when आप can learn everything from TV?

93. It's NEVER the first diagnosis.

92. If आप play your फ्रेंड्स right, आप can borrow 5 grand over a year.

91. There is no dignity in dying.

90. Ketamine is NOT a permanent cure for chronic leg pain.

89: Even if House doesn't want it, everyone around him wants to everything about him.

88. Everyone in the House universe has a sixth sense and can read people way too good.

87. It will never again be Wilson's disease, but it will be mentioned again.

86. If आप suggest Vasculitis enough, you'll start to sound smart.

85. Everybody Lies

84. Every मिनट House and Wilson refuse to प्यार one another, another कुत्ते का बच्चा, पिल्ला cries another tear.

83. They don't call it the White House because of its paint job

82. New innuendo for masturbation: "Finding Nemo"

81. Drugs don't make House high, they make him neutral.

80. House loved "Awakenings." It made him cry.

79. Sometimes, he wants to cry.

78. If आप need to figure out your problems, poison your pet rat.

77. According to Wilson, you'd be surprised what आप can live with.

76. Wilson met someone who made him feel...funny, good.

75. Wilson didn't want to let that feeling go

74. Stacy lives in Short Hills

73. Genius does have side effects.

72. Cortisol is a cure all.

71. Wilson is a helluva cook.

70. Sex can kill.

69. If आप should screw up a self-inflicted circumcision, House will ensure good surgeons will put that twinkie back in its wrapper.

68. कुत्ता प्यार to eat vinyl records and Nike shox.

67. NEVER smoke गाँजा grown in soil supplemented द्वारा moldy rye bread, parasite infested water, and pigeon feces.

66. EVERY living thing eats. Everything that eats, poops. That is why every living thing has a sanitation department.

65. आप can't always get what आप want

64. Watch out- cheese is the Devil's plaything.

63. House can be a jerk to people he hasn't slept with. He is that good.

62. Just because some one is attractive, in the House world, she is a whore.

61. There is a "me" in "team" (if आप jumble it up...!).

60. Everybody should get an MRI.

59. When आप think आप have HIV, get high.

58. When someone is in the hospital, it is guaranteed that their house is empty and आप can sneak in

57. If you're नारंगी, ऑरेंज and your wife doesn't notice, she's cheating on you.

56. House likes people who teach children that truth is good, and there is no God.

55. Once the क्वीन is on your money, you're british

54. Personal lubricant is NOT located on the store shelf अगला to the मूंगफली, मूंगफली का मक्खन

53. Exploding testicles hurt

52. Penis canes are murder

51. Use a cane. The vertical stripe is quite slimming.

50. Smugness is easier to maintain than great hair.

49. Never is just "reven" spelt backwards

48. Drooling might be a symptom of Chase wearing his short shorts

47. If your colleague thinks she has HIV, she might invite आप over for sex under the influence...

46. LSD can be short circuited द्वारा anti depressants

45. If आप can't roll a joint, ask your oncologist for help

44. Don't piss House off

43. If आप spend half a साल trying to convince an ex that she should dump her husband for you, the मिनट that she likes आप back, आप will lose interest.

42. Something bad is about to happen only if आप hear dramatic music.

41. If your leg hurts, आप miss Stacy.

40. The white board can't be used द्वारा black people, that's why it is called "the whiteboard".

39. Wilson can't just keep asking his patients to wait because Cameron's boss won't let her come out and play.

38. You'll go into custody if आप don't get on a plane with your checked-in bagage.

37. Carrying a radioactive "keychain" will give आप a dose of poisoning equivalent to 70 THOUSAND x-rays. Will also give your best friend a rash.

36. When आप order a रूबेन, र्यूबन for House, make sure there are NO pickles.

35. If आप want a obstinate patient to take medicine, tell them it's the same one prescribed to "Republicans".

34. आप and your daughter will never look like twins; get her the damn आइस क्रीम cake for her birthday!!!

33. A 100 pound 5'5" woman is incapable of breaking the fall of a 400 pound man. So is tempered glass. But it's a helluva a way to win your boss's respect.

32. If आप see a stethoscope hanging from House's door, he's having sex.

31. And it doesn't have to be with another person.

30. Whoever came up with Buprenorphine to wear off Vicodine should be shot the stabbed in the eye.

29. Life is a series of rooms.

28. Prednisone compromises the immune system.

27. Forcing someone to have a conversation with आप is "raping them, in a non-invasive, और annoying than traumatic way."

26. If आप get rid of a dog, it's becuase you're planning to dump your girlfriend.

25. House would do Wilson AFTER Cameron does Chase

24. Wilson's not on anti-depressants, he's on speeeeeed.

23. According to Wilson, House fell on his head when he was a child.

22. Chase hates Nuns.

21. House would consider low-rider jeans on Cameron both attention grabbing and "hot".

20. Having a criminal record and/or being hot are good ways of being hired द्वारा House

19. If आप have a cane आप can get away with ANYTHING!

18. House is the only one allowed to play with the markers.

17. Chase has a weakness for bald 9 yr old girls.

16. If one of your team rats आप out to a power hungry Board chairman don't आग them... Torture is much और fun!

15. Canes are better than puppies!

14. Don't make Cuddy mad..... she'll take away your pills.

13. People used to have और respect for cripples आप know.

12. They didn't really.

11. House hasn't been on a तारीख, दिनांक since Disco died.

10. According to House and Wilson, it's Bros before Hoes.

9. Flames on a cane makes House look like he's going faster.

8. Leather jackets make आप warm *AND* cool. How do they know?

7. When the Inuit go fishing, they don't look for fish. (They look for the blue heron)

6. Overall, drug addicts are idiots

5. Asking a girl her "Dreams, Hopes, and Aspirations" is a DEFINITE panty-peeler!!!

4. If your boss takes away your parking space, throw a tantrum and spend a week in a wheelchair to make your point.

3. आप can call Karl in book keeping "Kevin" because it's a secret friendship club name.

2. आप can see संगीत when tripping on LSD.

1. He is a mistanthropic, miserable, antisocial, sexist, bigoted, depressed, pill popping, motorcycle riding, selfish ass. But would आप trust anyone else with your life?


Note: Copied from आइ एम डी बी forums!