The Daily Prophet

1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter पुस्तकें and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Recite every Harry Potter spell आप know in public.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from आप (Ex: When in a car या an elevator). If आप don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and क्रिस्मस and demand they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their प्रिय song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their इनबॉक्स with Harry Potter...

1. Offer her flies. Tell her they're good with ketchup.

2. Ask her if she's related to Trevor.

3. Follow close behind her all day, making clip-clopping noises with your tongue.

4. Ask her if she's met the handsome new divination teacher.

5. Tell her that Cornelius ठगना, हेराफेरी only hired her to scare small children.

6. Dye all her clothes black. . . .

7. . . . When she acts horrified, say आप were only trying to help her, and that "black is the new pink."

8. Send her प्यार notes, signing them as if they were from Cornelius Fudge.

9. Perpetually use the word "umbrage."

10. Remind her constantly that her "Selwyn...

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate अगला to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him आप चुरा लिया his teddy bear.

8. Tell him आप won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him आप were just kidding and कहा teddy भालू has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak up on him while...