हैरी पॉटर Article: harry potter jokes

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posted by katlovesbtr

Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!

What’s the difference between a wizard and the letters M A K E S?
One makes spells, the other spells makes!

Why was Dobby always saying sorry?
Because he had low elf-esteem!

What did Harry's godfather say when Harry kept poking him?
"That's enough now Harry! I'm Sirius!"

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
आप know!
आप know who?
It's okay, he's dead! आप can say his name now, silly

knock knock.
who's there?
wingardium levio.
wingardium levio-who?
It's wingardium leviosAAAAAAAAR

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
None — wizards don’t use electricity!

Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So no one could tell what side he was on.

A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, "Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?" The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, "Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are आप absolutely certain आप want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?"

The blind wizard says, "Gods no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"

What do आप get when आप पार करना, क्रॉस Crookshanks with McGonagall

Really ugly kittens

angelbarbie20, bdavis98 and 2 others like this

daniellexoxo_23 Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road? So no one could tell what side he was on. -- The only one I burst out laughing to

nany5755 lol!

happygrrrr Love it!!!!!!!!

elsafan1010 Love it!

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New 'Harry Potter' film will be released only in 2D

posted by mitchie19

Warner Bros. has scuttled plans to release the new "Harry Potter" in 3D.

In a statement released Friday, the studio कहा that when "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1" arrives in theaters on Nov. 19, it will be in 2D, playing both conventional theaters and IMAX, but that "we will not have a completed 3D version of the film within our release तारीख, दिनांक window."

The statement continued: "Despite everyone's best efforts, we were unable to convert the film in its entirety and meet the highest standards of quality. We do not want to disappoint प्रशंसकों who have long-anticipated the conclusion of...

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General Facts Not Disclosed in the पुस्तकें

posted by simpleplan

(Found on MuggleNet.com)

(Facts go from newest to oldest, with newest on top)

◦Prefects can take points; Ron got it wrong in Order of the Phoenix, which makes him a pretty poor prefect, eh?

◦Fred and George Weasley were born on April Fools' दिन (no joke).

◦Ginny Weasley's first name is Ginevra, and she is the first female Weasley born for "several generations," says JKR.

◦Arthur Weasley has two brothers.

◦Molly Weasley's maiden name is Prewett.

◦Crookshanks is half Kneazle.

◦The infamous Weasley cousin who was cut from the पुस्तकें was named Mafalda. She was in Slytherin.

◦Dean Thomas's...

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Harry trys to kill फ्रेड

posted by Misharrypotter

Harry Potter sit down and got real to go to Hogwarts. Was he picked up his wand and then noted that something was wrong फ्रेड had to took his real wand and put a fake one in it’s place.. harry jumped up and yelled at फ्रेड and saying that if he ever took his wand and placed it with a fake one that he would use a lot of spells on him that would make him not funny. “harry no no I want do it a again I promise ‘ “you better not and don’t think of doing again of I I “ “or want harry can’t think of anythink to do “ कहा फ्रेड “yes I can but I wouldn’t hurt आप your one of the funniest person I know “

sorry if i made some miskis and stuff this is just part one

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Crossing Genres: The Changing Characters of Harry Potter

posted by hrrypttrfn328

To begin, I suppose an explanation of this article's contents is in order. I have noticed, in seeing the films and then later re-reading the novels, that there are some character discrepancies. From humor to appearance, the characters in the films are, on occasion, very different from their स्रोत material. And it is in my humble opinion that the most important thing for a story to succeed is for there to be proper characterization. So, I hope I do not bore आप too badly in this look at character discrepancies in the Harry Potter series. I will only look at one thing per character to make this...

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प्रिय Harry Potter कोट्स

posted by ginny_potter_97

from Harry Potter
__________________________________________________

"Pity आप can't attach an extra arm to yours [broom], Malfoy. Then it could catch the Snitch for you."

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."

"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."

"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!"

Harry, don't go...

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A Very Silly Harry Potter Quiz!

posted by Mrs-Grint

Heellooooo!!!! I'm feeling rather बिना सोचे समझे today so I thought I'd take a leaf out of Emma's rather large, leather bound book and do a stupid Harry Potter quiz. It's not actually a story, just a बिना सोचे समझे collection of letters put together to form a बिना सोचे समझे collection of words which will, in turn, provide a बिना सोचे समझे collection of potentially amusing sentences. So, enjoy my little freaks!!!
Beware: If आप have no sense of humour: DO NOT ENTER!!!

Read the memo? Righty ho then! Ok, lets go on to the first सवाल then dumplings!

A. Errr, yes...

B.YAAAAAAAAAAY! A stoopid क्विज़ for stoooopid me!!!! *yes darling,...

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123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse या Generally Scare Lord Voldemort

posted by emmett

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up द्वारा गाना समुद्र तट Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say आप taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on...

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Your Favourite Tri-Wizard Champions!

posted by narniafreak12

The Tri-Wizard Champion!

So, I was buzy making picks to decide your favourite Tri-wizard champion, and I've decided to दिखाना the results in a countdown!

4. Fleur Delacour
In at number 4 is Fleur! She was always going to be last, with आप calling her 'a twit', 'over-the-top feminine' and 'little miss perfect'. She लॉस्ट आप guys pretty badly, but I don't think she did too bad in the tornament, but hey, that's just my opinion.

3. Viktor Krum
At number 3, Krum! This Bulgarian seeker seemed to annoy alot of you, including me! Whether it was because he seemed 'bleh' (your words), या because of the friction it caused between Ron...

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Potions, Spells and Magical Objects

posted by vanillaicecream

A
Accio (Summoning Charm) - Latin for "I summon."

Alohomora (Spell that opens locks) - Derived from the Hawaiian "Aloha" meaning "goodbye," and the Latin word "mora," meaning "obstacle."

Amortentia - "Amor" is the Latin word for "love," and "tentia" is derived from "tentare," which means "the handling of," "the making of an attempt," या "the attack on." Hence, "the handling of love," "making an attempt to love," या "the attack on love."

Anapneo (Spell that clears blocked airways) - In Greek, "anapneo" means "I breathe."

Aparecium (Spell that makes invisible ink appear) - From the Latin word...

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Interview with a Mary Sue

posted by LilysLittleTwin

Authors note: If आप don’t laugh, I shall set my army of flying turtles upon you!

Disclaimer: Yes, I own Harry Potter and have nothing better to do than write weird Fanfiction for my own book. If आप believed me for a second, quit पढ़ना now.

~Interview with a Mary Sue~

Here I am, sent to interview a not-so-rare species. I’m your local reporter, LilysLittleTwin, and today I’ll be interviewing a Mary Sue named Angela Perfetta.

LLT: So, Angela, what are your hobbies?

AP: I enjoy painting, playing the violin, playing for the Montrose Magpies, and in my spare time, saving orphaned kittens.

LLT:...

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Use well the days - (A Barty Crouch Jr. प्रशंसक Fic | feat. Sirius Black)

posted by bendaimmortal

Warnings: PG-13. Mild language. Mild violence.
Char.: Barty Crouch Jr, Sirius Black. The Crouch family in the later chaps.
This is NOT a स्लैश fic.
Summary: Sirius and Barty Jr., unaware of it, end up in the same detention, which leads into battle of egos until they have to learn that each others are only human after all and even find something in common. The other chapters are something else though related to the first..
Chapters: Four. (4). The 2nd & later, do not base on any game topic anymore and so are completely written द्वारा me and are all about the Crouch family.
Author(s): WolfAngel'JR...

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53 Ways to Infuriate Ron Weasley

posted by vanillaicecream

1. Tell him Hermione has a boyfriend.

2. Repeatedly ask him whatever happened to "Lav-Lav"?

3. Tell him Krum is coming back.

4. Stare pointedly at his forehead, looking bewildered.

5. …and when he asks what you’re looking at, say in a disappointed voice, “I just thought you’d have a scar too, being Harry Potter’s (sigh adoringly then look superior) sidekick and all.”

6. Tell him that Krum is having a welcome back party and everyone is invited.

7. ..except him, that is.

8. The अगला time someone says “Ron”, state loudly, “Isn’t that the name of Harry Potter’s useless sidekick?...

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NEW - Harry Potter Locations लंडन Tour

posted by britmovietours

Pusging the trolley through the दीवार at Platform 9 34

Pusging the trolley through the wall at Platform 9 34

Climb aboard as we take आप on a two घंटा bus tour to some of the लंडन locations used in the Harry Potter फिल्में including sites from the latest film Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

Learn how the films were made, discuss the पुस्तकें and get trivia about the magical world of J.K.Rowling’s boy wizard. Along the way you’ll have the chance to get off the bus, take pictures and see the locations up close.

Feel free to dress up as Harry Potter या any other character in the series, (only if आप want to). Keep your wits about आप as we’ll test your knowledge on the world of the boy wizard...

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Ways to Lighten Up the Ministry

posted by crazyduds2

1. Put a whopee cushion on Delores Umbridge's seat. When she asks आप why it's there, respond with, "The dark lord is back. Watch yourself." And than walk away.
2. Blare loud muggle rap संगीत from your office and scream "Oh yeah, baby!" And "Whoa yeah!" At बिना सोचे समझे times.
3. Install lighting in the Department of Mysteries and call it the "Department of Lighting."
4. Scream in the hall, "Bellatrix! Why have आप left me?" And than ask the nearest person if they would like to शामिल होइए आप for a butterbeer after work.
5. Tell everyone that आप have a secret. When they ask आप what it is, say "Meet me at Hogwarts." When they ask why, simply stand there until another person comes द्वारा and ask them if they want a free broomstick.
6. Walk up to an employee and ask "Where did ठगना, हेराफेरी go?" When they say he left the ministry, scream in there faces that he didn't leave.

Well, that's all I've got. Thanks for reading.

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25 Ways to Tick Off a Harry Potter प्रशंसक

posted by BellaCullen96

1. In casual conversation, constantly ask: "Now what was the name of that kid with the scar again?"

2. Anytime they bring up the books, close your ears and sing loudly - then tell them they're spoiling it for आप (even if आप have no intention of पढ़ना them).

3. Ask what "HP" stands for.

4. When they begin to theorize, bluntly say "I think Harry is in cahoots with Voldemort and it's all just a huge publicity stunt."

5. Tell them आप think the फिल्में are better than the books.

6. Suggest they read the पुस्तकें on SparkNotes, because it's a lot faster.

7. Destroy any and all of their delusions...

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83 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse, या Generally Scare the Dursleys

posted by BellaCullen96

1. Should Dudley be backing up for any reason, go "beep, beep, beep . . ."

2. Egg their house. Don't feel confined to chicken eggs.

3. कोट their entire रसोई, रसोईघर with butter.

4. Get a cheap Muggle cell phone. Give it a very annoying ring tone, and set it to ring every घंटा on the hour. Make it invisible. Hide it in the air vent of their house.

5. Charm their garden hose to come to life and spray them down.

6. Charm their lawn to sprout large purple mushrooms. When stepped on, these mushrooms should squeak loudly.

7. Replace any फूल in their garden with the ever लोकप्रिय water squirting flowers....

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फ्रेड and George Weasley: Gone

posted by serenafan122

For several long seconds, George’s mind refused -- no, was unable -- to comprehend what his eyes were telling it. He could not believe it; surely it was not possible. A joke, या a misunderstanding, या something serious, but not that serious, not enough to warrant the tears on everyone’s faces, nor his mother’s silence and outstretched arms. Not enough for Charlie’s pale face and blank eyes, nor Ginny’s quiet whimpers, nor Percy’s shoulders, heaving with silent sobs.

And then the awareness seeped through, the sight of Fred’s body registered, and there was something in his throat,...

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harry potter??? twilight vs harry potter

posted by H20rockzcleo

hi im caitlín and i enjoy पढ़ना both harry potter and twiight पुस्तकें but....... i cant decide which one is better some people think different but its good to have an opinion!!! am i right, i think i am see thats an opinion and im just wanted to say what is your opinion ... and comparing is ok the world would be boring if we were all the same and thought the same and this is NOT JUDGE MENTAL!!!no debates please!!! my opnion is that there both smashing पुस्तकें to read and आप dont have to agree there both very entertaining to read and watch thats my opinion i cant wait to read yours!!!

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Remus Lupin & Salem Snape - Part 4

posted by Brysis

I don´t know if this part will be a little bit confusing for some ppl but i hope आप like it!
I really प्यार to write this story...
Thank आप so much

His eyes were blue as always… but cold, intimidating, as the eyes of a wolf. We were in a room where I had never been before what surprised me. It was a small room with many old broken tables and chairs stowed on चोटी, शीर्ष of each other, wood shelves wrapped in मकड़ी webs caring old goblets. In one corner was a large mirror blurry द्वारा dust, all of it was made of सोना and I could see my face reflected in it. I was pale like a ghost and his eyes were still...

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

posted by Poopla

When i first watched this film, my first thought was that the film was absolutly brilliant but different from the book although it did have 400 pages ad so it was a lot to put in.
I thought the bad thing about this film was the absolutly rubbish किस द्वारा daniel radcliff and cho chang because it was too long and really wierd.
The good thing about the film was the special effects that made आप belive that it was there really happening. Also, i wish we saw और of ginny, all she did was glare at cho chang which is boring. there wasn't much talking but lots of magic and exitment. I thought that...