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Taking arms against Harry Potter, at this moment, is to emulate Hamlet taking arms against a sea of troubles. द्वारा opposing the sea, आप won't end it. The Harry Potter epiphenomenon will go on, doubtless for some time, as J. R. R. Tolkien did, and then wane.

The official newspaper of our dominant counter-culture, The New York Times, has been startled द्वारा the Potter पुस्तकें into establishing a new policy for its not very literate book review. Rather than crowd out the Grishams, Clancys, Crichtons, Kings, and other vastly लोकप्रिय prose fictions on its fiction bestseller list, the Potter volumes will...
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These are a bunch of funny alternate endings to Harry Potter I found. I did NOT write them.

Scooby Doo ending: Voldemort is captured, and is revealed to be Filch wearing a mask. As he is hauled away, he shouts, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for आप meddling kids!”

South Park ending: After defeating Voldemort, Harry and Ron address the audience, saying, “You know, I’ve learned something today.” Suddenly, Ginny is run over द्वारा the Knight Bus, prompting Ron to shout, “They killed Ginny!” Harry responds, “You bastards!” Neville laughs and says it’s...
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OK, there are millions of people who write thest kind of articles, but please try and control your patience, and read this.

The Love
Harry Potter has love. Not lust.
Hermione didn't stare and Ron and say "OMG he is soooo hot, I am in love" no, Hermione and Ron started of as hating each other. Halfway through their first साल they became friends. In HBP and DH they both started getting feelings for each other. They प्यार each other for who they are. That is real love. Twilight on the other hand has no real love. Bella and Edward fall in प्यार with each other, they kiss, Bella gets pregnant. ALL THIS...
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posted by KateKicksAss
27
NOTE: This interview is written as if Bella is still human. Think after Eclipse but before Breaking Dawn. And I don't mean to offend Twilight प्रशंसकों with any of the सवालों that Rita asks Bella in this article, based on Rita's personality in the books, I'm assuming she'd ask awkward questions.

Me Myself and I
By Rita Skeeter

Today's interview is with लोकप्रिय कल्पना book character, Bella Swan. Captivating readers in Twilight, read on as I interview Bella, and see if there's और to her than just an obsession with Edward!

*The door opens, and in walks Bella......with Edward.*

Bella Swan: Can...
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posted by KateKicksAss
5
One thing I've noticed in general is that anti's tend to make a pretty big deal out of the Twilight वैंपायर sparkling. I've seen people saying things like real वैंपायर don't sparkle, वैंपायर not sparkling was a fact, and that it was gay of them to sparkle. Okay, of ALL the things to criticize in Twilight, people are going after the SPARKLING? Seriously?

First off, at least where I'm from, calling something “gay” as an insult is considered really rude and distasteful. Besides being rude and homophobic, it's also generalizing and stereotyping. Just because something sparkles doesn't make...
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It was a gloomy night as the members of the Secret Society of Sparkly Vampire Slayers sat around the तालिका, टेबल and started the meeting.
"Okay, so our new target is a family of vampires." The leader said.
"Um...family?" Zenith, the female vampire slayer asked, straightening her long black hair.
"Yes," The leader said. "The vampire father, Edward, Bella, another vampire, and a recently born half-human half-vampire-"
Zenith leaned forward. "That's....impossible." Thunder boomed loudly outside, lightning lit up the dismal, gloomy, tomb of a room.
"What?"
"The half-human half-vampire. Impossible."
...
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Okay, I'm going to give reasons why each book is better in this article. Then, comment, argue/contradict my points, and start a reasonable वाद-विवाद (not a fight) on the टिप्पणी दे board, please!
PRO TWILIGHT
I'm not a big Twilight fan, but I can try to come up with some reasons:
1.Bella's emotions are described in depth, leaving no area unexplored. We know exactly how she feels at every second, whether she is gazing at Edward या making noodles. (this could also be a drawback-you can't have a story be completely emotion and no story)
2.Love? Well, Edward and Bella are in a relationship where they...
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One fine evening, as the famous trio Harry, Hermione and Ron, were in class they thought of an idea. "Professor Snape?" Harry raised his hand. The tall dark man turned, with that scorn as always on his face, sighing "What Potter?" Harry looked to his two फ्रेंड्स and nodded. "May we take a feild trip?" Harry asked biting his lip. "A field trip? what in the name of slitheren is that?" Snape कहा with hardly no emotion. "It is where one या और classes take a दिन off of class to go and visit some other place to learn about different things, such as the places history या if they have museums we...
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posted by PiperLunaPotter
8
Why do आप like Harry Potter/Twilight?
I'm sorry, but I want to read something positive. Please, no fighting and number these. So, I'll go first.
-----
I like Harry Potter.

1. Hermione shows that girls can be smart and it's great if they are. None of the girls need a boy to survive. They can defend themselves. Harry and Ron do depend on Hermione for schoolwork. Ginny is accomplished at the Bat-Bogey Hex.
2. Harry is willing to sacrifice himself if it means his फ्रेंड्स will survive.
3. Harry's is brave, but he still has emotion. When he goes into the forest in Ch. 34 (DH), he's scared, but he...
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posted by ImBooOK
13
OK, before आप read..(If आप do) I must say this is spossed to be for fun and i was bored, so please please please for the sake of my slitheren दिल don't hate on this. Now! I must go on..


THE दिन HARRY POTTER FELL IN प्यार WITH TWILIGHT.

On Saterday, Ron, Hermione and Harry go to the movies.
"What are we going to see Harry?" Ron asked filling his mouth with popcorn. "TWILIGHT!" Harry screamed and clapped his hands. "What the heck is that" Hermione asked taking the पॉपकॉर्न away from Ron. "It is this new movie and its about this girl who falls in प्यार with Edward and he is secretly a vampire...AND...
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For reasons as of yet unknown, फैन्पॉप seems to have something against the website b एल o g s p o t . c o m -- posting लिंक्स from this site will cause आप to get temporarily suspended.
We first noticed this when I tried to link a blog from that site with my 'main' account, lucius_malloy, and got temporarily suspended. Later this happened with a total of five other accounts: luciusmalloy (my first back-up account), harrypotterbest, Accio_Pandorica, lumiss and Gemonkus.
We have contacted फैन्पॉप about this issue and are hoping for a reply soon, but in the mean time, we are warning आप against posting...
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It was the time between the fourth and fifth Harry Potter पुस्तकें and right after Bella leaves Jacob for Edward in the Twilight series when IT happened.
James, the evilest of the evil, had no money. He knew his antagonist part required him to have money. He needed money. There was only one thing to do....
He stepped into the swirling nothingness, and सेकंड्स later turned up in a gloomy, slimy hallway. "Are आप here, Lord Voldemort?"
The dark shape slid out of the shadow. "More money, James?" He कहा cooly. "We may both be the antagonists of our books, but आप do owe me...."
"OWE आप WHAT!?"...
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posted by HecateA
4
This is my HP fanfiction, I hope I'm allowed to post it here. If it belongs on the HP spot I'll हटाइए it. This is my first HP fanfiction so have mercy on me and I hope आप enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I own no characters but Erica, Nathaly, Van, Veola and Harbeck

To: All the muggleborns who are still waiting for that letter



I looked at the picture of the 3 laughing kids. These 3 kids were killing themselves, and they were moving. I could name them. My sister’s friends. Veola Madgey, a girl with blond flowing hair and फूल placed here and there, her cheeks full and face cheerful; वैन, वान Teeje a tough...
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posted by june13
4
We all been asking since this culb stared who would win the fight Harry Potter या Edward Cullen. First it mattereds if Harry has is wand wish it would come avange of him in a way and if Edward had Bella या not she would come a distracing to him lets start.
Harry has is wand and Edward does not have Bella. But Edward can read his man but since he does not know what the spells do it will not help at all and Edward has got speed that will help him out alot becouse he can get a way from the spell so they both got disavanges and avanges so it just may be a tie
First part
link

She gestured to a row of wooden
chairs against the wall. The looked like they belonged with someone’s dinning room
table.
“Okay,” I agreed. I walked over to the chairs and sat right in the middle,
suddenly wishing I had a book. I hadn’t read anything for a while, outside of school.
And even then, when some ridiculous प्यार story was part of the curriculum, I would
cheat with cliff notes. It was a relief to be working on Animal Farm now. But there had
to be other सुरक्षित books. Political thrillers. Murder mysteries. Grisly murders were no
problem; just as long as there was no starry-eyed,...
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posted by youknowit101
8
Here are some excerpts that were cut out of the Twilight पुस्तकें for various reasons. Some of आप guys might find them interesting and maybe help आप understand या see something आप didn't see before.

These are copied from Stephenie Meyer's website

--------------------------

"Sometimes, in the editing process, sacrifices must be made. Some parts are cut because they slow down the action, others are cut simply to condense length, others are cut to simplify the plot. And, whatever the reason behind the removal, some cuts are और painful than others. This page is dedicated to the cuts that I miss...
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posted by victorodonnell
6
The World is flat!
    Well, I know आप सवाल my sanity, now. Obviously, the world is round and that’s a proven fact, from the moment Galileo stepped out of his ship. And now, there’s a सवाल again. Is the World really round? I hate that word, really. The word which gives rise to a lot of सवालों and seeks for explanations.
    ‘Imagination is और important than knowledge,’ कहा a wise man once. And, it’s true. Well, आप need not be aware of the complications of four-dimensional अंतरिक्ष fabric to accept this theory. What all आप need to...
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SNAPES POV

"Severus, your not eating again...you know thats bad for you" Dumbledore कहा lifting his goblet. I sighed. Duh i know it is...that is why i was not eating. As people may know, my look matches my attitude...black, unemotional, and और black. I nodded to the old man and looked away. Glancing to the one table, where the famous trio ate, i spotted the girl of the bunch lay her head down at the table. Not one bite was taken of her meal, and she held her stomach with a free hand. Potter patted her back and कहा some things to her, while the Weasly boy chewed on his chicken like it was...
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posted by siriuslyawesome
4
A little play.

(setting-a stage. Creepy smoke rolls on ground, odd blue lighting. Edward stands looking at दीवार and thinking)
Edward:Hmmm...
Harry:Hey Edward! What's going on?
(Edward ignores him)
Harry:Is something wrong? Is Bella being a pain or...
Bella: (runs in) WHY ARE आप MAKING EDWARD UPSET?
Harry:I'm not trying to-
(Hermione runs in, panting)
Hermione: I heard yelling-what's going on?
Bella: Harry's making Eddieward mad.
Harry:I just asked if he was okay-
Bella:AND THAT MADE HIM UPSET!
Hermione: Bella, calm down.
Bella: DON"T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN आप CALM DOWN!!!!!!
Hermione: That's...
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In my opinion, Twilight is good. Not as great as Harry Potter, but good. I've composed a सूची of what would turn Twilight great-with the help of various Twilight and Harry Potter fans.

1.Make Bella a vampire slayer
2.make Bella less whiny
3.Bella can do backflips
4.Jacob gets arrested द्वारा the Animal Cops
5.Edward's name changes to "Schmirrnoff"
6.Edward dies
7.Or Bella dies
8.Creamed corn
9.Hogwarts
10.A theme song
11.Bella isn't dependent on Edward
12.Lauren turns out to be Wonder Woman
13.Log cabin
14.Voldemort destroys the Volturi
15."squishy octopus"
16.make Bella smart
17. Change "forks" into "Spoons" because...
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