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Source: My Dad
posted by natty13
A young Aussie joins the navy. On the दिन he is about to go to sea, his father warned him to be aware of gay sailors.
"But dad, how will I know?"
"Trust me son, आप will know.
After 6 months at sea, the ship comes into port. The father was on the dock waiting for his son. The son, seeing his father, got off the ship and s...hook his fathers hand.
"Well son,how did it go?"
"Dad, I found out what आप ment about gay sailors. One night I was out on deck all alone when a man came द्वारा and put his hand on my shoulder so I threw him overboard."
"But how could आप tell he was gay?"
"Well, for 3 days he swam behind the नाव yelling "THROW ME A BOUY, THROW ME A BOUY"
1 दिन 2 very lovin parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

Their son wlked in n कहा "Wat doz कुतिया, मतलबी n bastard mean?" n d parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".

d nx दिन d parents decided 2 hav sex, d women कहा "feel my titties" n the man कहा "feel my dick".

Their son wlked in n asked "What doz titties n dick mean?" n d parents replied "hats n coats".

On Thnksgivin d dad was shavin n cut himself, "Shit" he said, d kid came in n asked "What's dat mean" n dman कहा it was d brand shavin cream he was usin.

Dwn stairs d mom was preparin d turkey, n she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's dat mean" the mom कहा dats wat she calls stuffin d turkey.

मांद, डेन d door घंटी, बेल rang. d kid answered d door to his relatives n कहा "Alright u bitches n bastards, put ur dicks n titties in d closet, my dad is upstairs wipin the shit off his face, n my mom is in the रसोई, रसोईघर fuckin d turkey!
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Source: Me
posted by chowjoyi
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship‚ holding her hat on tightly so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did आप know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes‚ I know‚" कहा the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But‚ madam‚ आप must know that your privates are exposed!" कहा the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything आप see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
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posted by harold
"Then आप दिखाना up and drink my poison!"

Barnaby laughed with the others, but his दिल wasn't in it. He was concentrating too hard. Should he have picked one that was और ribald?

"You didn't tell it right!"

He'd heard that one before, but Jim really had a good delivery, and got a big laugh. Barnaby thought he was ready, but just couldn't interject into the flow of jokes of the older guys.

"Don't worry - it'll stretch!"

Every साल his brother Al would meet with his फ्रेंड्स for their reunion. They each made a point of coming back to Gull Cove the same time each year, just for this night. Al was ten...
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He does not do much playing, but this is at the beginning of a संगीत कार्यक्रम and he starts off with talking and joking with the audience.
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