Hi!
Like several million others all over the world, I’ve always been a fan of Douglas Adams, and I’ve been trying hard to figure out the elements of his style, especially the deeply hidden ones that made him, in my humble opinion, the founder of a whole new school of
literature and maybe even of thought and communication. If Albert Einstein wrote the way Adams did, relativity would’ve been fully
understood and popular among 15 year olds, and the world, as a result, would’ve progressed at an accelerated rate.

I try to capture the essence of the Adams Eye View, and deliver thought provoking and humorous messages similar to the ones he
brightened our minds with, and I try to do so without mimicking him in a soulless manner or using his vocabulary like a parrot.

Below is an attempt to describe my opinions about the different government systems, using the playful Adamsian school of thought. I
would highly appreciate your feedback and ruthless criticism.
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A recent socio-political study conducted by a bunch of drunken sophomores in Harvard have proved that all governments in history had
been using only four basic governance methods, which are listed below:


1- The ‘Go #@%* Your Self’ method
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Experts in ancient cryptic writings believe that the symbol ‘#@%*’ is actually a verb that describes the act of banging one’s head thirty
times against a solid metal object.
Governments that openly tell their people to go #@%* themselves are amongst the most primitive and least efficient systems known, and hence they usually end up being @!@$#%%&@!@ by their subjects once a revolution comes.


2-The ‘Go Look At The Filled Half Of The Half-Filled Cup’ method.
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This method is based on a revolutionary early 20th century discovery about the strange hypnotic power of half filled cups, which - if stared at for enough time - can make a citizen’s vision so blurry that he becomes unable to see the empty half of anything, and thus feels good about his life.
Latter, it was discovered that this effect was rather ephemeral, and that citizens always woke up from their trances in such a bad mode and ended up @!@$#%%&@!@ their governments once again real hard.


3- The ‘Go Play In A Game Show’ method
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This is what happens when the true decision makers suffer from too much public attention and legal scrutiny, and decide to stay away from the limelight for good, and thus, they hire a few good actors to keep the political scene buzzing.
Citizens are then asked to vote for the cutest actor so he /she can be chosen as a virtual president. This process is quite entertaining and keeps people so busy with the show, betting on voting results, arguing about their favorite actors, and so on, that they never really bother about what the actual government does. Even when the worst case scenario happens and the citizens finally get bored with the show, they would just @!@$#%%&@!@ the actors, while the actual, non-virtual government remains always safe.


4- The ‘Go Hate It And We Will Kill It For You’ method
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At its simplest form, this method involves tempting the citizen to hate item A so much that he doesn’t mind if the government spends a few trillions on weapon system B needed to bomb item A out of existence.
What the citizen doesn’t know is that most of the money goes to company C, which produces weapon system B, and which, by mere unanticipated coincidence, happens to have a hefty portion of its
shares owned by members of the government.
The best advantage of this method is that the more complex it gets,
the easier it is to label anyone who understands it and starts talking
about it as a nutcase with severe potency issues.


This, so far, have proven to be the most efficient governing system
possible. The only catch is that some citizens might someday wonder
about how the world never seems to run out of item A, and how the need
to spend trillions on item B seems eternal.
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