“Did आप know that Yagami spelled backwards says ‘I’m a gay’?”

“Explain to me the logic behind MelloxNear, and I’ll give आप a million bucks.”

“Does एल ever change his clothes, या is he just that crazy for giant white shirts and jeans? Really, wtf is up with that?...”

“The सवाल we all want answered: is Mello या girl, या does he just have really bad PMS?”

“Why did Light have to make everything so damn complicated? It wasn’t like we couldn’t tell he was gonna lose in the end… oh, did I just spoil something for you? Sorry… not.”

“Raise your hand if आप also think Death Note is very sexist. I mean, look at how WEAK those girls are, man!”

“How is it that Matt, a character with only about twelve panels altogether, has a popularity rating that’s higher than Light’s, Near’s, and Mikami’s put together?”

“ZOMG MIKAMI’S A RAPIST RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!”

“How did Light end up having फ्रेंड्स that were all seriously messed up in the head?”

“So… what’s your whole view on मैडोना cosplaying as Mello in her संगीत video ‘Jump’? Is she a closeted fan, या a hopeless wannabe otaku? I’m just amazed she actually understood Death Note…”

“Did Light and Misa ever actually screw? Seriously, because I’m stumped…”

“Honestly, we all know the real types of toys Near plays with ^_^”

“For all आप LxLight प्रशंसकों out there: explain to me how, when they were freakin’ handcuffed together, they got their clothes off?”

“If Wammy’s orphanage was in the U.K., then doesn’t that make L, Mello, Near, and Matt of British descent?”

“Light is sooooooooo Tamaki या Kyouya in another life!”

“How did Matt manage to keep a hold on his cigarette after being shot thirteen times, falling to the ground, and laying there for a few सेकंड्स before finally letting it go?”

“Did Light feed Ryuk drugged apples? Honestly, because that would explain A LOT…”

“… And Mello keeps his gun in the front of his already tight pants… why, exactly?”

“We all know how एल really died: diabetes!”