For about 2 hours after I'd watched the DE scene in 3x14, I walked around in a daze, unable to do anything except lament Damon's heartbreak once again, and tell anyone who would listen that Elena didn't mean it when she कहा that Damon's feelings were a 'problem'. द्वारा and large, it didn't make sense. How could Elena say such a thing? It went against everything we know her for. How could the writers even script it, when they knew that a large number of people would hate her for saying it? How could they justify their decision when they were harping on not so long ago, about how important it was to maintain Elena's integrity and character preservation? Not to mention the fact that Julie and Kevin are fully aware of how प्रशंसकों will react, and are all about damage control?

Let me say for the record that Elena DIDN'T mean it. 'Maybe that's the problem.' She didn't mean to suggest 'Maybe the way आप प्यार me is a problem'; What she was trying to say, was that whenever Damon's determination to keep her सुरक्षित overrides her decisions to do what she wants (even if they're questionable या stupid), then it causes an inevitable clash of interests, a conflict, a rift. THAT is a problem. But NOT Damon's love. The words just came out wrong. It would be really tempting to want to hate Elena right now, but don't. As soon as she कहा it, आप could see she regretted it immediately. And if Caroline hadn't interrupted them, maybe Elena would have tried to make it right. Elena needs to be aware that Damon wouldn't act that way if she didn't mean so much to him, and he wasn't scared of losing her.

But there's something else आप should be aware of. आप have to look at the bigger picture here, not the little details. Imagine for a moment that आप write/produce the show. आप know that Elena's feelings for Damon haven't been explored in any depth and आप only have a limited number of episodes to bring them to the surface. Elena could easily spend the rest of the season - maybe even her life - in denial. It's an impasse. So what's the best way to get her to admit she has feelings for Damon? Make her jealous.

What's it gonna take in order for that to happen? Well, we caught a glimpse of a jealous Elena - albeit briefly - in 3x06 when she watched Damon pretending to flirt with Rebekah. But there has to be और than that this time. The thing is, Damon is so in प्यार with Elena, that it's going to take something drastic for him to even consider sleeping with someone else. That means that Elena has to do या say something that will hurt him. And in my opinion, THAT'S why we got the heartbreaking moment in 3x14. The writers would never have made Elena say it otherwise, and Damon would never have slept with Rebekah. In other words, 3x14 leads to another step forward: jealous Elena. Her words set a chain reaction in motion: she hurts Damon, he sleeps with Rebekah, Elena is sorry she hurt Damon, goes to the Salvatore mansion to make amends, and finds out he slept with Rebekah. Elena is hurt and jealous. Because she loves Damon! She doesn't want him to indulge in बिना सोचे समझे hook-ups! And she knows he loves her too! It breaks the impasse.

द्वारा this time, it should have dawned on Elena that what she says to Damon has a powerful effect on him. और powerful, apparently, than her attempts to get Stefan to admit he feels something again. No amounts of cajoling, pleading, and making कुत्ते का बच्चा, पिल्ला eyes at Stefan is going to win him over. His inner torment is too great, and he's not going to admit that he feels until he's ready to accept the full extent of pain, and grief he's unleashed on Elena and those around him, including himself. Stefan has a truckload of guilt he will feel once he turns his feelings on again, and so letting go what he had with Elena is far preferable to dealing with all that pain and remorse.

It seems that Damon and Stefan have swapped या reversed roles. Damon finds his humanity after loving Elena, and Stefan loses his. But the cruel irony is, Damon has received nothing but heartache, anguish, disappointment and pain in exchange for his humanity, whereas Stefan has been offered endless compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and the hope that प्यार can redeem all after losing his. Even though he refuses point-blank to accept it, as the scene on the porch demonstrated.
At the end of the day, remember that Elena is only human, and she's still learning what प्यार is. Because the one person who should have taught her when they were together can't give her the प्यार she needs.