Clark: Lois, what’s going on?
Lois: What do आप mean?
Clark: आप made us breakfast, you’re offering to do chores. आप want something.
Lois: No. It’s called being nice.
Clark: Yeah, well, if आप were any nicer, we’d starve.
Lois: Um… meet my sister Lucy. She was kind of hoping she could crash here for a couple days.
Lucy: I know it’s last minute, but I had this school break, and I’m willing to sleep in the barn.
Clark: No, that’s okay. Lois can sleep in the barn.
Clark: So, Lucy, Lois has told us absolutely nothing about you.
Lucy: Well there’s not much to tell.
Lois: Oh, please. Let me gloat. She is getting straight A’s at one of the most prestigious prep schools in Europe, she is fluent in three languages, and she is fending off Ivy League colleges with a stick.
Clark: [To Lucy] Wow, that’s impressive. What happened to Lois?
Lois: [To Lucy] You’re gonna find that Clark’s charm is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion.
Lucy: Well, thanks for letting me stay. I don’t know how I’m going to repay you.
Clark: Well, just tell me plenty of embarrassing stories about Lois.
Lois: [Laughs] Funny guy. [Lois punches Clark in the chest roughly]
[Clark smiles as Lucy leaves the barn. Lois laughs sarcastically]
Lois: Don’t let all that flirting go to your head. She goes to an all-girls school. You’re probably the first guy she’s talked to in a couple months.
Clark: Lois, I don’t want आप to get the wrong idea, but ever since Lucy came to town you’ve been grumpier than normal. Are आप not happy to see your sister?
Lois: Of course I am. Look, there’s a thing with sisters. आप can प्यार them without really liking them.
Clark: आप don’t like your own sister?
Lois: और like she’s not very crazy about me, not that I blame her.
Clark: Yeah, well, look, आप might be a little rough around the edges, but as far as sisters go, Lucy could do a lot worse.
Lois: Um, thanks for the ringing endorsement. When my mother died, my dad had two girls he didn’t know how to deal with. So he did what every good military leader would do. He instituted a chain of command, and I reported to him–
Clark: Lucy reported to you.
Lois: Yeah. It takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level. I had to make sure she had three square meals, got to school, did her homework.
Clark: आप became her mother.
Lois: Yeah, except I was not prepared. I used to give her सलाह like, आप know, don’t किस a boy या you’re gonna get pregnant. And, yeah, maybe she had a few और chores than most kids.
Clark: Is that why she decided to go to boarding school?
Lois: Oh, unlike your family, there was no discussion. When the general gives an order, you’re expected to carry it out.
Clark: Whoa, sounds kind of harsh.
Lois: Trust me. Lucy got the better end of the deal. I mean, don’t get me wrong. She totally deserves it. But I guess there was just a part of me that was always jealous she got out and I didn’t.
Lex: [To Clark] Two Lanes under one roof. That’s got to be interesting.
Clark: Well, I haven’t had a hot शावर, शॉवर in two days, and the laundry machine is running nonstop. The phone line is consistently busy. No, it’s nice having them around. I mean, it kind of takes the loneliness out of the house.
Chloe: Whoa! Is that Lois with a tray? Hey, cuz!
Clark: Yes, it is. It’s kind of like a free floor show.
Clark: I thought आप कहा that telescopes were for geeks and stalkers.
Lois: Yeah, well, as was proven over the last few days, I can seriously misjudge people. [ Clark nods] आप know, if you’ve come to kick me off the farm, I completely understand.
Clark: Yeah, um, actually I came here to tell आप we have खाना in the ओवन if you’re hungry.
Lois: [Quickly] Thanks.
Clark: How आप holding up?
Lois: I just got off the phone with the general.
Clark: Oh, that was all the screaming I heard from the house.
Lois: Yeah. Well, apparently, he is very disappointed in me for letting this happen, and as far as my family chain of command goes, I am the weakest link.
Clark: [Genuine] I’m sorry.
Lois: Don’t be. आप know, there’s something cathartic about telling a three-star general to go to hell. Uh, आप know, all these years, I thought I had my sister pegged. But, uh, in reality she’s a complete stranger to me. [She turns back to Clark]
Clark: Even if that were true, I think that if she called आप tomorrow, you’d be there in a सेकंड to help her.
Lois: Yeah, I would. She’s my sister.
Clark: I don’t think Lucy’s all that bad.
Lois: You’re amazing, Smallville. आप always look for the best in people even when they walk all over you.
Clark: I guess that explains why we’re friends.
Lois: Oh, we’re फ्रेंड्स now?
Clark: Well, I won’t tell anyone if आप don’t.